Categories: DivisionDivision DSpring

We Goin’ Sizzler – Week 9

Division D week 9 is here! We have surprise results, two weeks left, and a clear playoff format. BRUINS lost their first game of the season, meaning no one will go undefeated this season, talk about parity in the league. Many teams have already clinched a playoff spot but will they want to finish in a D1 or D2 spot? Top three from each conference and bottom three from each conference (10-12) will make up the 12 team D1 playoff bracket. 4th to 9th spot from each conference will make up the12 team D2 playoff bracket. Top 4 of each bracket will get a bye week. As usual, we start with the individual accolades.

Let’s get to the sizzle!

We begin with the Johnny Utah: TRISTAN HETU-FRANKEL went 19 for 27 for a whopping 237 yards with 5 TDs and 0 INTs as MEAN GIRLS narrowly defeated SPERA’S LEGION 34 – 27. The performance gives TRISTAN 25 TDs this season. MEAN GIRLS have won three in a row now and have scored 30+ points in each win. They are currently in 10th spot with a game in hand. SPERA’S LEGION lose their third in a row and drop to 11th spot.

Next, we have the Rod Tidwell: JÉRÉMIE GAUTHIER had 6 catches on 7 targets for 107 yards and 2 TDs as VOODOO obliterated CLINKERS 33 – 6. JÉRÉMIE was only one of two receivers to have over a hundred yards this week. He had 107 of the teams 169 yards. The game was never in doubt and, with the win, VOODOO sit in 7th spot. With the loss CLINKERS drop to 12th spot, tied in points with 13th spot THE LEFTOVERS.

The Earl Megget goes to NOAH GROPER who ran 5 times for 80 yards and 1 rushing TD. Who!? This is NOAH’s first career rushing TD, he is not known as a rushing QB and this is by far his highest rushing output. The performance helped PD’S AND NEGRONIS pull off the shock win of the season over AROUCH 18 – 13. After starting the season 0-7-0, PD’S AND NEGRONIS have won two in a row, but no one expected a win over the 6-2-0 AROUCH.

On defense, the Stefan Djordjevic goes to ÉDOUARD LEROUX who had 2 INTs and 2 PDs as JOHNNY FIREBALL defeated TRAPSTARS 21 – 13. The performance was much needed as ÉDOUARD struggled throwing the ball in this one. JOHNNY FIREBALL get back to winning and hold onto the 3rd spot with only one game remaining. TRAPSTARS drop to 6th spot and need to win out and help for a shot at the D1 playoffs.

The Bobby Boucher goes to JAMES DRYSDALE who had 3 SKs and forced 2 INTs as VULTURES prey on LOCKDOWN 35 – 12. This is JAMES’ best defensive performance this season and it comes at the perfect time. VULTURES win their 7th in a row and one more win could see them take over top spot! With the loss, LOCKDOWN sit in 12th spot and risk being leapfrogged if they don’t win next week.

Lastly, the Becky ‘Icebox’ O’Shea for best 2-way performance goes to DARON MIGDESYAN who had 5 catches on 5 targets for 79 yards and 2 TDs while added 2 INTs and 2 PDs on defense. DARON sits with 13 receiving TDs this season which puts him in the top 5 receivers. The performance helped TOUGH LUNGS double up on GLOGANG 30 – 15. TOUGH LUNGS are back in the top 4 and have a chance at the D1 playoffs with two games remaining. GLOGANG drop more points and drop to 9th spot with three games remaining.

My picks for Games of the Week did not disappoint but were not what I expected. JOHNNY FIREBALL 21 – 13 TRAPSTARS was not the offensive game I was expecting and BLACKOUTS 26 – 20 TOPSZN had zero defensive TDs. Looking back, we had two shocking results that no one predicted.

PD’S AND NEGRONIS 18 – 13 AROUCH saw AROUCH lose for only the second time this season and saw PD’S AND NEGRONIS win for only the second time this season. As I looked over how this team has turned things around, one thing came to mind; juicing. No seriously, one name kept coming up; MAX BURAH. He was brought onto the team and did not disappoint, catching 5 on 7 targets for 70 yards and 2 TDs. This team is at its best with JONATHAN PEREZ throwing and the duo of NOAH GROPER and MAX BURAH catching. This team has pulled a complete 180 and is turning a lot of heads. If this team squeaks into the playoffs, watch out.

THE STOICS 26 – 18 BRUINS saw CHRIS RIVEST continue his great work at QB and saw BRUINS lose for the first time this season. CHRIS has adjusted to teams doubling JEFFREY LEFEBVRE by getting CESAR GARCIA-DIAZ more targets and it has helped tremendously. The team will go into the playoffs with three legitimate game changing receivers. For the BRUINS, GABRIEL WISEMAN has 3 INTs in the last two weeks. Before that he had 2 INTs on the season. Sure, the first loss hurts and could see BRUINS finish in 2nd spot but with a re-focus on ball security, BRUINS will be ready for the playoffs.

Now, for Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021.

SPERA’S LEGION [2-5-1] vs BALLIN 60’S [1-7-0]

Too important a game for SPERA’S LEGION if they want to get out of the bottom three, they win this one comfortably.

TOUGH LUNGS [5-2-1] vs MEAN GIRLS [3-4-0]

Both teams are coming off wins and both are playoff bound but MEAN GIRLS look unstoppable lately, putting up points like the Toon Squad. A close one but MEAN GIRLS win.

GLOGANG [3-3-1] vs VULTURES [8-1-0]

Look for GLOGANG to struggle defensively in this one as they just don’t have the players to stop VULTURES run game. VULTURES win big.

AROUCH [6-2-0] vs THE NEW GUYS [6-2-0]

A very interesting match up here. THE NEW GUYS have a solid record and this is the perfect time for this game as AROUCH are coming off a demoralizing loss but their performances have just not been consistent. Whether it’s a lackluster offense or a defensive miscue versus bottom dwellers, they are just not consistent enough. AROUCH are looking to bounce back and they will do just that, AROUCH win.

HOT SAUCE SPORTS [4-4-0] vs JOHNNY FIREBALL [6-3-0]

JOHNNY FIREBALL finally got back to winning but it was against a GARBER-LESS TRAPSTARS. Something is definitely off and this team has cooled off drastically. HOT SAUCE SPORTS are an experienced team and they are better than their record shows. Give me HOT SAUCE SPORTS for the close win.

TOPSZN [4-4-0] vs VOODOO [4-4-1]

Two of the most inconsistent teams in the division, this one could go either way. VOODOO are coming off a solid performance but that only means they will not repeat the performance. I’m going to be like a semi-erotic grocery store novel title… bold, I’m going to be bold and call a tie here.

TRAPSTARS [5-3-0] vs THE STOICS [5-3-0]

Another close one here. TRAPSTARS are a little more offensive, THE STOICS are a little more defensive. Big question will be if the GARBER’s play in this one? THE STOICS are red hot these days so I got to go with them. Possibly the best game of the week, give me THE STOICS to win by six.

LOCKDOWN [1-6-1] vs REPLACEMENTS [0-7-1]

This game should be of little importance given that both teams are bottom dwellers but with the new playoff format this season, the winner of this game could finish 12th and be the Cinderella team heading into the D1 playoffs. Evenly matched offensively, LOCKDOWN have the better defense and the easier schedule. This week saw us lose our last undefeated team, I’ll be a romantic and say next week see’s us lose our last winless team. REPLACEMENTS win.

LOYOLA [1-7-0] vs BLACKOUTS [6-3-0]

BLACKOUTS finish their season strong and hope to jump into the top 3. BLACKOUTS win big.

THE LEFTOVERS [2-7-0] vs LOS SIETE AMIGOS [6-2-0]

Same script, different teams. Four-way tie for 2nd spot means that LOS SIETE AMIGOS cannot take this game for granted; however, THE LEFTOVERS have an outside shot at the playoffs so they will not make it easy. LOS SIETE AMIGOS win by two.

Playoffs, we talkin ‘bout playoffs!

Let’s take a week 9 look at the playoff picture.

Conference A:

  1. BRUINS (8-1-0)
  2. VULTURES (8-1-0)
  3. JOHNNY FIREBALL (6-3-0)
  4. TOUGH LUNGS (5-2-1)

BRUINS and VULTURES clinch the D1 playoffs but it still remains to be seen who will finish top seed. JOHNNY FIREBALL are holding onto 3rd spot but that can change by next week. TOUGH LUNGS continue to jump but do they really want to make a push for a top 3 finish? THE STOICS and TRAPSTARS can make a jump into the top 4 with two games remaining.

Conference B:

  1. PARDON MY SWAG (7-1-0)
  2. THE NEW GUYS (6-2-0)
  3. AROUCH (6-2-0)
  4. BLACKOUTS (6-3-0)

PARDON MY SWAG clinch a D1 playoff spot but can they hold onto top seed? THE NEW GUYS are in 2nd spot but have a difficult game versus 3rd spot AROUCH this week. BLACKOUTS leapfrog LOS SIETE AMIGOS into 4th spot but LOS SIETE AMIGOS do have a game in hand so anything can happen. All in all, this playoff race is tighter than a… nope, not going to say it, it’s 2021.

Looking forward to week 10, the game to watch is AROUCH [6-2-0] vs THE NEW GUYS [6-2-0] August 29th 8pm Laval (2). This is a battle for 2nd seed; winner clinches the D1 playoffs, loser risks dropping into the D2 playoffs. Check it out if you can.

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli