We Goin’ Sizzler – Undefeated, First Wins, and Wrestlemania

Welcome back, lots to talk about this week. Not sure how I will find time to finish this article as it is Wrestlemania week but we will try our best. Let’s start with last week’s predictions.

No real surprise to start off as THE R.E.E.T. defeated DILFS 28-6. SANTINO SPARAGNA went 11 for 18 with 133 YDs and 4 TDs in the win while DANTE SPARAGNA had 2 receiving TDs. In a game with zero turnovers, it was THE R.E.E.T. that controlled the game and showed their offensive prowess. THE R.E.E.T. are (5-0-0) but face the tricky (3-2-0) WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS this week. A win can put them on track for a perfect undefeated season. The DILFS are (0-6-0), things don’t get any easier this week as they face the (2-4-0) STREETS AHEAD.

METAVERSE got the expected win 38-6 over KINGS OF THE NORTH. NOAH GROPER had 4 catches on 6 targets with 65 YDs, 1 TD and 3 SKs. METAVERSE pulled away in the second half with 3 INTs, they sit at (5-1-0) but face the much improved LONGHORNS this week. KINGS OF THE NORTH are (1-4-0) and will lose again this week versus BALLZ DEEP.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS had a big win over WARRIORS 46-34. DANIEL BOBIS went 10 for 18 with 226 YDs and 6 TDs, how is that even possible? The long ball was alive and well in this one as REGIS KODUA and RANDOLPH KODUA had 2 receiving TDs each. WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS move up to (4-1-0) with two easy games coming up versus COOKERS AND BINES. WARRIORS drop to (3-2-0) and need to regroup quickly before facing the (3-1-0) AIR FORCE 1 this week.

In surprising fashion, both the RED DRAGONS and the REPLACEMENTS picked up their first wins of the season. RED DRAGONS defeated NOT MUSTANGS 25-21, GUILLAUME BOULANGER had 4 TDs in the win and LUCIAN LEONTIEV had 9 catches on 10 targets for 92 YDs and 3 TDs. Defensively, they held NOT MUSTANGS to 68 throwing YDs. REPLACEMENTS defeated SAVE A HORSE 26-13, JOSH CURRIE had 5 catches on 5 targets for 60 YDs and 1 TD. After being called out last week, the defense responded big time by coming up with 4 INTs, KAREEM ANTHONY CHILCOTT (2) and DYONDREA FRASER (2).

Let’s get to the sizzle!

Jimmy Dix: BENJAMIN REID went 17 for 22 with 229 YDs, 7 TDs, 1 INT as THE MIGHTY 6 ate up BUFFALO WILD WINGS 44-6. This was BENJAMIN’s first game of the season with THE MIGHTY 6 as he last threw in 2021 for LOS SIETE AMIGOS. It is unknown whether or not BENJAMIN REID will be the QB going forward or if he was just stepping in for one game. If it was a tryout, I think he got the job.

Deacon Moss: In the same game, RAPHAEL GENTILE had 7 catches on 8 targets with 111 YDs and 3 TDs. The QB change had the biggest benefit on RAPHAEL who had his biggest game of the season. He more than doubled any other receivers offensive output, only in his second season, this can be the start of something great.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: DANNY MCFEE once again makes the list, this time rushing 5 times for 59 YDs and 1 TD as TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON schooled TEAM SEXY 46-8. DANNY MCFEE continues to impress throwing and running the ball as he added 4 throwing TDs this week. If the team can win out to finish (7-3-0), expect to hear DANNY’s name being thrown around for MVP.

Trumaine: Rookie DYONDREA FRASER had 2 INTs, one of which he returned endzone to endzone on the last play of the game. In a 12 point swing DYONDREA secured the 26-13 win for the REPLACEMENTS on the last play of the game. He also added 2 catches for 42 YDs and a TD on offense. If this kid sticks around, expect big things.

Steve Lattimer: XAVIER TRAN-KHANH had 3 SKs and forced BUFFALO WILD WINGS into throwing 4 INTs as THE MIGHTY 6 won this one easily. XAVIER has 10 SKs on the season, an incredible stat for someone who is only in their second season. He also added a receiving TD on offense, a great 2 way performance.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: GHOSTS 12-24 VULTURES 2.0

Vultures win, finally! In a great defensive battle, it was the VULTURES 2.0 who came out victorious, bringing their record to (2-4-0). The win comes at the hands of a very good GHOSTS team, proving that VULTURES 2.0 are a team to fear when they show up. ANTHONY DRYSDALE went 16 for 24 with 145 YDs, 4TDs, 1 INT. He connected 5 times with BENJAMIN MCMAHON for 56 YDs and 2 TDs, and he added 2 INTs defensively. What a great 2 way performance. The team is starting to look dangerous, with some winnable games coming up, watch out for VULTURES 2.0 come playoff time.

The Bad: LE SPEAKEASY 33-0 SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS

The SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS remain the only winless team in Division 5B, and only 1 of 2 winless teams in Division 5, DILFS, you’re next! No one expected SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS to win this game against a strong LE SPEAKEASY but to lay a goose egg in any game is never a good thing. The team roster of 9 tried to play by committee; three QBs, eight targeted receivers, seven defensive players; proving that quantity never beats quality. Offensively the team only managed 8 completions for 62 YDs and 3 INTs. Defensively, it was a little better; LOUIS DESCHÊNES did manage 1 INT. SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS sit at (0-6-0) and will hope for an improvement before week 10 and 11, when they play their only winnable games versus COOKERS and REPLACEMENTS.

The Ugly: DILFS 6-28 THE R.E.E.T.

I warned you. The DILFS are the other winless team. FRED LEBLANC only completed 9 passes for 91 YDs in this one, with 61 of those YDs going to CHARLES VERREAULT; you gotta spread the ball around. Defensively… 0 SKs, 0 INTs, SHEESH! DILFS are (0-6-0) and have no chance in hell of winning any of their last four games. Now, don’t get me wrong, THE R.E.E.T. are (5-0-0) and sit at the top of the division but they are a little guilty of playing down to their competition. Only 28 points in this one, they coasted to the win, this can become an issue against a team like STEP BROS.

BEST WRESTLING FOOTBALLERS

5. Pat McAfee

He was a placekicker at West Virginia and drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in the seventh round of the 2009 NFL Draft and played in the Super Bowl his rookie year in a loss to the New Orleans Saints. Over his eight-year career in the National Football League (NFL), McAfee made two Pro Bowls and was an All-Pro in 2014.

On April 16, 2021, McAfee was announced as a new addition to the SmackDown announce team alongside Michael Cole. Since joining the blue brand, McAfee’s energy and quick-witted calls have continued to elevate him as a favorite of the WWE Universe.

4. Roman Reigns

During his college days, Reigns was voted Defensive Player Of The Year by Pensacola News Journal. He was eventually signed by Minnesota Vikings however he was shortly released after being diagnosed with leukemia.

Reigns recovered and joined Jacksonville Jaguars but again was released early but he did forge a career in the Canadian Football League. However, Reigns retired early and followed his family lineage into wrestling.

3. Bill Goldberg

Goldberg is one of the most intimidating men in wrestling history. His undefeated streak in WCW was iconic and he redeemed himself in WWE during his return feud with Brock Lesnar.

He was drafted by NFL side LA Rams after impressing during his time in Georgia. Before moving on to Atlanta Falcons where Goldberg played 14 times in the NFL. However, his football career ended prematurely due to injury.

2. Ron Simmons

A Hall Of Famer and multi-time champion within WWE, Ron Simmons wrestling career is a memorable one. However, his football career was also impressive as he was elected into the College Football Hall Of Fame after thriving for Florida State University.

This resulted in him being snapped up by NFL side Cleveland Browns who he was with from 1981-82. Until he moved into the USFL with the Tampa Bay Bandits where he was teammates with Lex Luger.

1. Vader

Vader is widely regarded as one of the most agile big men in wrestling history. He wrestled all over the US and Japan before finally coming to the WWE. Before his legendary wrestling career, he was a successful football player.

He was signed by NFL side LA Rams and during his first season, he helped guide them to the Super Bowl earning an NFC Championship Ring in the process. However, he was forced to retire early due to injury.

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

LONGHORNS (2-4-0) vs METAVERSE (5-1-0)

LOS BANDITOS (3-3-0) vs GOOFY GOOBERS (4-2-0)

THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT (2-4-0) vs LOCKDOWN (6-0-0)

TEAM SEXY (3-3-0) vs LE SPEAKEASY (6-1-0)

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli