We Goin’ Sizzler – Playoffs!

The season has ended! We take a quick look at week 11 and then it’s off to the playoffs. Before that we discuss the BIG D DREAM TEAM. With the results this week, we have a confirmed playoff bracket. We take a look at the match ups and make our predictions. As always, we begin with the individual accolades from week 11.

Let’s get to the sizzle!

We begin with the Johnny Utah: JOSH FEDER went 13 for 20 for 188 yards with 4 TDs and 0 INTs as FIGHTING ILLINI educated LOYOLA 47 – 6.

Next, we have the Rod Tidwell: JORDAN MCINNIS had 9 catches on 10 targets for 43 yards and ‘FIVE TIME’ 5 TDs as PARDON MY SWAG dropped TOPSZN 44 – 19.

The Earl Megget goes to ALEXANDRE FAFARD who ran 7 times for 80 yards and 1 rushing TD as LOS SIETE AMIGOS unfriended THE NEW GUYS 32 – 6.

On defense, the Stefan Djordjevic goes to the duo of LUIS BEGIN and MATHIEU OUIMET who each had 2 INTs, 2 PDs and a pick six as BRUINS mauled REPLACEMENTS 52 – 0.

The Bobby Boucher goes to OLIVIER DOLEYRES who had 4 SKs and forced the QB into throwing 2 INTs as TOUGH LUNGS smoked LOCKDOWN 32 – 6.

Lastly, the Becky ‘Icebox’ O’Shea for best 2-way performance goes to DANY OSTIGUY who had 4 catches on 7 targets for 55 yards and 2 TDs while adding an INT for a pick six on defense. The performance helped CLINKERS edge out   LES BLUES BRANLEURS 40 – 35.

My pick for Games of the Week was an offensive orgasmic event as HOT SAUCE SPORTS defeated MEAN GIRLS 46 – 41. The win propels HOT SAUCE SPORTS into the top half of the table, giving them an easier road to the cup.

BIG D DREAM TEAM

For the dream team, I looked for consistency. Players who ranked in the top 10 of each important stat line were considered. Here is an example for the QB selection, just to show the difficulty in making these decisions.

OFFENSE

On offense we begin with BENJAMIN MCMAHON at QB. Based solely on his throwing, he is top 5 QB in the division, but when you factor in his running ability, he is number 1.

Next we have JUSTIN LERNER and SHADEN HETU-FRANKEL at wide receiver. Averaging 14.8 and 15.8 yards per reception respectively, these are the players we want catching those deep balls.

At slot receiver we have JORDAN MCINNIS and JAMES DRYSDALE. Catching 83% and 78% of targets respectively, these are the sure hands you want in the slot.

Finally, at snapper we have ZACH ZWIRN. 18 TDs while averaging 9.9 yards per reception makes him your check down guy and your red zone guy. An 83% of targets caught makes sure it doesn’t go the other way for a pick six.

DEFENSE

On defense we begin with JORDAN MCINNIS at safety. With his division leading 10 INTs, he is a nightmare for QBs looking to complete down the middle.

Next we have KEVIN DONNET and TIM HORNER at corner. With 9 and 8 INTs respectively, you can trust these guys to come up with the ball in a man to man situation. With 20+ tackles each, they are there to pick up any blown coverage.

At defensive back we have MATHIEU OUIMET and MICHAEL KHAZARA. With 6 and 13 PDs respectively, these are the hands you want in those tight coverage situations.

Finally, at rusher we have RYAN VANSLET. As a versatile player with 2 INTs, 15 SKs, 3 PDs, and 2 TDs, you never know if he is rushing hard, sitting in coverage, or forcing you to your weak side.

PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS

TRAPSTARS (6-4-0) vs FIGHTING ILLINI (4-6-0)

RYAN GARBER only threw 3 INTs this season, that accuracy along with his number one target DYLAN GARBER will be too much for FIGHTING ILLINI. TRAPSTARS win by 12.

THE NEW GUYS (6-4-0) vs MEAN GIRLS (4-6-0)

THE NEW GUYS lost three in a row; MEAN GIRLS lost three of their last four games. Something’s got to give here in this battle of the sexes. You can’t talk about sex without mentioning TIM HORNER. He will have his hands full covering SHADEN HETU-FRANKEL and MEAN GIRLS will do enough for the win.

GLOGANG (5-4-1) vs VOODOO (5-4-1)

I’m not a big fan of GLOGANG; they used six QBs this season. OLIVER SURI is a great player, but he is alone against a good FRANK KAYE and VOODOO team. VOODOO win big.

AROUCH (7-3-0) vs LOCKDOWN (2-7-1)

It will be ‘lambs to the slaughter’ for LOCKDOWN in this one. Maybe ERIC LALONDE and company can collect some for their pizza toppings. AROUCH win big.

TOPSZN (4-6-0) vs PD’S AND NEGRONIS (3-7-0)

Based on the season, I would have to go with PD’S AND NEGRONIS. However, only 7 of their 13 players are eligible for the playoffs, MAX BURAH is not. TOPSZN beat PD’S AND NEGRONIS again, just like they did in week 3.

TOUGH LUNGS (6-3-1) vs CLINKERS (3-7-0)

CLINKERS were one point away from an easier opponent. Unfortunately, the trio of JUSTIN LERNER, JUSTIN BIZZARRO GRAY (that can’t be real), and DARON MIGDESYAN will be too much on both sides of the ball. TOUGH LUNGS win big.

KISS MY END ZONE (3-6-1) vs SPERA’S LEGION (3-6-1)

KISS MY END ZONE have been suspect on defense all season long and that will continue versus SPERA’S LEGION. With no rushing threat, VINCE PISANO will take his time and dissect the defense. SPERA’S LEGION win.

HOT SAUCE SPORTS (6-4-0) vs LES BLUES BRANLEURS (4-5-1)

Are you kiddin’ me! That is probably what PAOLO DELLA ROCCA said after leading the division in throwing yards (he threw 300+ yards more than anyone else) and not being selected as best QB. He will have a point to prove in the playoffs. HOT SAUCE SPORTS win.

Looking forward to next week, we will recap the divisional and quarter finals and take a look at the semifinal’s matchups.

The game to watch is ALL OF THEM, it’s the playoffs baby!

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli