We Goin’ Sizzler – Playoff Edition

Playoffs baby! We finally have our brackets and match ups. Who got in? Who’s out? Any rematches in the playoffs? Who will win? All will be revealed below, but first let’s wrap up the regular season with some individual accolades.

Let’s get to the sizzle! Regular Season

Jimmy Dix: JOEL HOULE had a great season throwing for 1822 YDs in 9 games for the RAVENS. He also had a league leading 45 TDs as the RAVENS finish the season with a (9-1-0) record. He was very consistent this season throwing only 8 INTs and allowing only 3 SKs. With a completion % of 65.4 and a QB rating of 114.6, JOEL HOULE will look to keep this hot streak running deep into the playoffs.

Deacon Moss: SAM ANASTASOPOULAS was a regular weekly mention so it comes as no surprise that he takes this accolade. Finishing 2nd among receivers with 647 YDs and 14 TDs in only 9 games played, SAM ANASTASOPOULAS scored at least 1 TD in every game. Moreover, he is the main reason TEAM SEXY squeaked into the playoffs with a (5-5-0) record.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: SANTINO SPARAGNA is another regular mention, this time we point out his running ability over his throwing ability. He finished the regular season with a league leading 507 TDs and a league leading 8 TDs. With a (10-0-0) record, THE R.E.E.T. were able to rely on SANTINO SPARAGNA to break apart the defense week in and week out.

Trumaine: PHIL ANGERS had 13 INTs. The closest guy to him had 7. That says it all right there, as PHIL ANGERS terrorized QBs all season long. Leading AIR FORCE 1 to a (9-1-0) record, PHIL is the main reason AIR FORCE 1 hold the best defense in the league, only allowing 97 points this season. With 4 defensive TDs, he is also a great help for the offense.

Steve Lattimer: NOAH GROPER had a whopping, league leading, 18 SKs this season. That is almost 2 SKs per game, as the constant pressure helped METAVERSE get to a (9-1-0) record. Essentially, NOAH GROPER allowed METAVERSE to win games in which they only scored 20 something points. There is no equivalent to the benefit of constantly putting the opposing QB under pressure, making the rusher, arguably, the most important position on the field.

Playoffs Baby!

We begin with Division 5A Conference A: RAVENS top the table and get a first round bye, along with the GHOSTS in second. VULTURES miss out through a three way tie.

#3 seed BALLZ DEEP vs #6 seed STREETS AHEAD

For all intent and purposes, BALLZ DEEP are the second best team in this conference and should not have a problem getting by the (4-6-0) STREETS AHEAD. In a rematch of the week 6 result in which BALLZ DEEP beat STREETS AHEAD 34-21, expect QB JUSTIN WEIR to control this game by spreading the ball around to a stacked core of receivers led by MATTHEW PEACOCK and RYAN DOBBS-GARNETT.

#4 seed BACKWOODS FOOTBALL CLUB vs #5 seed THE MIGHTY 6

An interesting matchup here in which BACKWOODS FC and THE MIGHTY 6 meet up for the first time this season. BACKWOODS FC QB LIAM GILMORE has the yards and TDs to get the job done but a few too many INTs and SKs allowed this season. The receiving core is good but is somewhat one dimensional; led by HENNESSY ORAYE. The real issue I have is their defense, only 8 INTs and 10 SKs will not get it done in the playoffs. Look for THE MIGHTY 6 rusher XAVIER TRAN-KHANH to have a big game and be the difference maker in this one.

Division 5A Conference B: THE R.E.E.T and METAVERSE are heads above the competition and earn themselves a first round bye. KINGS OF THE NORTH just miss out on the playoffs because of their head to head with LONGHORNS.

#3 seed GOOFY GOOBERS vs #6 seed LONGHORNS

LONGHORNS come in with a losing record and have been highly inconsistent this season. I’m not saying they can’t win, because they have had some good results but I just don’t see them showing up for the big game. GOOFY GOOBERS QB RUSSELL SCHWARTZ will not be under a lot of pressure so count on him to stay in the pocket and find MAX BURAH often.

#4 seed WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS vs #5 seed LOS BANDITOS

I got two words for you; JARED BUCK. The WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS QB has had a great season with 1850 YDs and 38 TDs. Look for him to put up big numbers and find his favorite target JUSTIN SANTILLO early. Even if LOS BANDITOS find a way to stop the ‘BUCK’, the WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS defense will be able to hold their own.

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

#3 seed SAVE A HORSE vs #6 seed COOKERS

#4 seed RED DRAGONS vs #5 seed BINES

#3 seed WARRIORS vs #6 seed TEAM SEXY

#4 seed WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS vs #5 seed TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli