We Goin’ Sizzler – Div D Week 3

Let’s get right into DIVISION D week 3 action, starting with who brought the sizzle!

This week’s Johnny Utah: PAOLO DELLA ROCCA stole the show this week, going 27 for 37 with 315 yards, 6 TDs and 0 INTs. In an offensive barnburner of a game, HOT SAUCE SPORTS served up the defeat cold to LOCKDOWN 42 – 32. HOT SAUCE SPORTS are 2-0-0 and are looking like they can run away with it, I gotta mention this emergency FPF system announcement; WILLIAM POWER will dance you out of your shorts, this is not a test!

Next, we have this week’s Rod Tidwell: ETIENNE BRISSON caught 11 passes on 12 targets for 149 yards and 3 TDs, talk about ‘show me the money’. This performance was exactly what was needed as Etienne brought the fire in this close game as LOS SIETE AMIGOS squeaked out the win over VOODOO 34 – 30. In a game that saw zero INTs, both these teams can be contenders if they address their defensive coverage.

The Earl Megget goes to ÉDOUARD LEROUX who ran 6 times for a total of 79 yards and 2 TDs, you want a cheeseburger with that?! Édouard was the difference maker as JOHNNY FIREBALL did not have any receivers with over 35 yards in the game, as they defeated REPLACEMENTS 32 – 18. JOHNNY FIREBALL are 3-0-0 and continue to find ways to win based on their youth and athleticism, ah to be ‘young, dumb and full of…’. Time will tell how they will deal with the more experienced teams in the league.

On defense, the Stefan Djordjevic goes to JEAN-FELIX MARQUIS who had 2 pivotal INTs in a very defensive battle as CLINKERS shutout THE LEFTOVERS 12 – 0. Two offensive TDs usually doesn’t get you the W but it did in this case, thanks to Jean-Felix. A win is a win and CLINKERS get one in the win column but they will need to be better going forward.

Next, we have this week’s Bobby Boucher: JUSTIN PERESS pressured the QB for 2 SKs, 3 PDs and forced him into throwing 2 INTs. In a game of two undefeated teams, it was THE NEW GUYS that came out on top with the 18 – 6 victory over FIGHTING ILLINI. With NIKKI PAPICH throwing 3 INTs of his own, he owes Justin a beer or two for securing the win and keeping THE NEW GUYS undefeated for now.

Lastly, the Becky ‘Icebox’ O’Shea for best 2-way performance goes to BENJAMIN MCMAHON who went 10 for 12 for 124 yards, 4 throwing TDs, 0 INTs, hold up I’m not done. He also added 1 PD and an INT that he brought back to the house for a pick 6. Oh ya, he also rushed 3 times for 71 yards and a TD. Pretty soon this guy’s gonna have an award named after him! In what I had dubbed the Game of the Week, Benjamin made sure this one was not close as VULTURES preyed on SPERA’S LEGION 39 – 12.

In retrospect, our game of the week has to be THE STOICS 27 – MEAN GIRLS 24. As a QB who struggles in the red zone, I have to appreciate that the 3-point difference in this game came solely from XP converts! On the losing end, TRISTAN HETU-FRANKEL had a beaut’ of a game going 17 for 24 for 221 yards and 4 TDs, hooking up with 5 different receivers and a QB rating of 121.7. Unfortunately, his only INT hurt them as CHRIS RIVEST went 13 for 18 for 142 yards and had 4 TDs of his own. A QB rating of 134.7 for Chris who will play in his 200^th game next week. Props to FPF stats for making it possible for us to see that ALEXANDRE PROVENCHER-RIVEST and SETH GALINA had the sure hands to snag those XP convert points.

Now, for Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021.

PD’S AND NEGRONIS vs THE NEW GUYS

THE NEW GUYS are 2-0-0, PD’S AND NEGRONIS are 0-3-0, give me THE NEW GUYS for the easy win. As good as ARIEL LIBRATI and NOAH GROPER have been, it is simply not enough for a team that still have not recorded a sack. Look for THE NEW GUYS’ JOSEPH KANO to get into the endzone often and build on what has been a slow start in the TD department.

BLACKOUTS vs LES BLUES BRANLEURS

BLACKOUTS are 3-0-0, LES BLUES BRANLEURS are 0-2-0, I’ll take what are BLACKOUTS for 200 Alex. MICHAEL KHAZAKA and RYAN VANSLET have 10 receiving TDs combined, that’s all you really need to know here. BLACKOUTS for the win.

KISS MY END ZONE vs TOUGH LUNGS

KISS MY END ZONE are 0-1-1, TOUGH LUNGS are 1-1-0, but I just got a feeling here that KISS MY END ZONE will get their first win this week. I’m counting on EDGAR BENOIT and JONATHAN JAGERMANN to get some picks here and make MATHEW LERNER’s night difficult. KISS MY END ZONE for the win in a tight one.

PARDON MY SWAG vs LOYOLA

1-1-0 for PARDON MY SWAG, 0-2-0 for LOYOLA, unfortunately we just don’t know enough about LOYOLA to put any trust in them, PARDON MY SWAG for the win. LOYOLA need to start taking this season seriously, with a forfeit and a no stat game due to no jerseys, they are not looking good. On the other hand, PARDON MY SWAG’s JORDAN MCINNIS has been quiet so far but count on him to always show up.

LOCKDOWN vs BRUINS

0-1-1 for LOCKDOWN, 2-0-0 for BRUINS, it will be closer than it looks like on paper but BRUINS still come away with the win. LOCKDOWN’s JARED GALLANT has been putting up great receiving numbers and BUCK ANEER not only has the best would-be male adult star name, he is also putting up decent numbers as QB. If he can limit the INTs, LOCKDOWN have a chance. The BRUINS are just a complete team; great QB, five different players with TDs, and five different players with INTs. They might just go all the way.

MEAN GIRLS vs TRAPSTARS

MEAN GIRLS are 0-2-0, TRAPSTARS are 1-1-0, this one can go either way. MEAN GIRLS are better than their record and TRAPSTARS put up a good fight vs VULTURES. In the end, I have to go with TRAPSTARS’ RYAN GARBER and his experience over MEAN GIRLS’ TRISTAN HETU-FRANKEL. TRAPSTARS wins with a tight one.

CLINKERS vs TUTS AND PARLAYS

CLINKERS are 1-1-0, TUTS AND PARLAYS are 1-1-0, seems fairly even but given that both teams were destroyed by BLACKOUTS, I will go with the team that lost by less. That would be TUTS AND PARLAYS winning by two scores. CLINKERS have the experience of MARC-ANDRÉ DESAULNIERS and the MARQUIS duo but that won’t be enough against TUTS AND PARLAYS’ DANIEL LAZZARA who has already called me out, I believe in you Daniel!

THE STOICS vs JOHNNY FIREBALL

1-1-0 for THE STOICS, 3-0-0 for JOHNNY FIREBALL, JOHNNY FIREBALL find a way to win this one. It won’t be pretty, probably have two QBs throwing and a bunch of jump balls but they will have success. GUILLAUME ST-JEAN and FÉLIX D’AOUST are just too athletic for THE STOICS.

SPERA’S LEGION vs GLOGANG

1-1-0 for SPERA’S LEGION, 1-1-0 for GLOGANG, but I see SPERA’S LEGION bouncing back this week in a big way. There recent loss to VULTURES did not see this team at its best and MARIO RINALDI will help his QB out this week. GLOGANG just do not have an offensive answer; rolling with two QBs, neither of which have broken 100 yards.

FIGHTING ILLINI vs VOODOO

FIGHTING ILLINI are 1-1-0, VOODOO are 2-1-0, VOODOO are coming off a loss and this team is too good to lose two in a row. Give me VOODOO to win big. There is only so much KEVIN SMUDA can do defensively, it just won’t be enough against the duo receiving core of ANGELO GAROFALO and PATRICK ST-AMAND.

THE LEFTOVERS vs AROUCH

THE LEFTOVERS are 1-2-0, AROUCH are 1-1-0, this is a tale of two QBs. One has zero INTs, the other has six. Give me the latter to come out with the win. AROUCH’s ERIC LALONDE doesn’t have great numbers but he doesn’t turn over the ball, that will be enough this week.

LOS SIETE AMIGOS vs TOPSZN

2-0-0 for LOS SIETE AMIGOS, 1-1-0 for TOPSZN, LOS SIETE AMIGOS to win big. After their impressive win over VOODOO, this is their time to make a statement and show they belong with the top dogs. ALEXANDRE FAFARD and ETIENNE BRISSON will be too hot to handle as TOPSZN just don’t have the offensive pieces to keep up.

REPLACEMENTS vs VULTURES

0-2-0 for REPLACEMENTS, 2-1-0 for VULTURES, VULTURES have to take this one. REPLACEMENTS have new pieces coming in this week but they will need to adapt quickly to have a chance. VULTURES have joystick BENJAMIN MCMAHON with 193 yards rushing already. Enough said.

BALLIN 60’S vs HOT SAUCE SPORTS

BALLIN 60’S are 0-2-0, HOT SAUCE SPORTS are 2-0-0, HOT SAUCE SPORTS destroy BALLIN 60’s this week, actually they might hit 60. The only question here is will PAOLO DELLA ROCCA surpass his 315 yard mark from last week?

Playoffs, we talkin ‘bout playoffs!

Let’s take a week 3 look at the playoff picture.

Conference A:

1. JOHNNY FIREBALL (3-0-0)
2. BRUINS (2-0-0)
3. HOT SAUCE SPORTS (2-0-0)
4. VULTURES (2-1-0)

JOHNNY FIREBALL are the real deal, they may be unorthodox but they get the job done. I still think BRUINS will rise to number 1 soon, and look for HOT SAUCE SPORTS to stay in the top 3 until their big week 10 matchup. VULTURES make up the top 4 as predicted. If anyone can eventually take over a top 4 spot, it would have to be THE STOICS.

Conference B:

1. BLACKOUTS (3-0-0)
2. THE NEW GUYS (2-0-0)
3. LOS SIETE AMIGOS (2-0-0)
4. VOODOO (2-1-0)

WOW, major changes at the top. BLACKOUTS take over top spot and look like they deserve it. FIGHTING ILLINI are in trouble, after losing this week they will play VOODOO in week 4. THE NEW GUYS and LOS SIETE AMIGOS have surprised me and I’m ready to call them contenders. Look for AROUCH to climb the table by next week.

Looking forward to week 4, make sure to check out my Game of the Week as FIGHTING ILLINI take on VOODOO in a Conference B battle of seed 4 vs seed 5. Sunday July 18^th at 9pm Laval (2). Someone will drop!

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli