We Goin’ Sizzler – Div 5A Top Dogs

Welcome back, today we look at the week 3 recap. The week, we also focus a little more on Div 5A and the top dogs. What is a R.E.E.T, Patrick Swayze fans, the power of VR, and quote the raven?

Division 5A is starting to take shape as we get a clearer picture of the playoff bound teams. A surprise at least to me was seeing VULTURES 2.0 lose again. BUFFALO WILD WINGS only needed 11 completions to defeat VULTURES 2.0 32-20. VULTURES 2.0 continue to put up decent numbers but they just can’t get the win, 3 TDs, 4 SKs, 1 INT. BUFFALO WILD WINGS was able to get help from GABRIEL DUBOIS who had 1 SK, and 1 INT which he returned for a pick 6. Offensively ETIENNE PELLETIER added 100 receiving YDs and 3 TDs. BUFFALO WILD WINGS deserved this win and pick up their first win, time will tell if they can keep this thing rolling.

Last week I questioned FRANCIS DESROCHERS‘ starting job and he answered back with a big f@ck you, you’re welcome. FRANCIS had 224 YDs and 6 TDs as LOS BANDITOS defeated LONGHORNS 45-20. VINCENT BENJAMIN also had a big game catching 6 passes for 128 YDs and 3 TDs. Defensively, the team added 4 INTs to make short work of the LONGHORNS and pick up their first win of the winter campaign. On the losing end, DAVE ALLEN continues to struggle, adding another 4 INTs. That’s 11 INTs in 3 games, like watching Superman hit kryptonite, keep your head up DAVE. DAVID WEISS was the only bright note on the night, 1 offensive TD and 1 defensive TD. At this point the LONGHORNS remain winless and are in serious danger of going 0-10-0.

VINCE ROMANO continued to hit his favorite receiver JOCELYN CALIXTE for 5 catches, 69 YDs, and 2 TDs. Unfortunately, he also threw 3 INTs as PINCELLOS lost 40-20. Take it from me, 3 INTs hardly ever gets you the win. Yes, that’s another loss for PINCELLOS who drop to 0-2-1. WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS get the win, QB JARED BUCK decided to spread the ball around to his receivers and it really paid off. He hit six different receivers on his way to completing 16 of 25 for 211 YDs and 5 TDs. Also, hitting four different receivers for TDs; CHAD BUCK (1), JUSTIN SANTILLO (2), BENJAMIN BOURQUE (1), and KEVIN ST-PIERRE (1). I am officially on WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS‘ bandwagon and at 2-1-0 (I removed the asterisks) I see this team clearly making the playoffs.

As expected, TEAM SEXY continued their winning ways by defeating RED DRAGON 29-12. The blueprint is simple; QB BENJAMIN BERBRIER (106 YDs, 4 TDs) continues to throw the ball to SAM ANASTASOPOULOS (67 YDs, 2 TDs). Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Defensively, MATHIEU LAFORTUNE led the way with 3 INTs. On the losing end, RED DRAGONS keep giving the ball away without being able to win it back. GUILLAUME BOULANGER threw 3 INTs and the defense came up with 0 INTs off of 5 PDs. That is a recipe for an 0-10-0 season.

In the surprise of the week, SAVE THE TURFTLES proved me wrong and defeated BINES 18-13. It wasn’t pretty, as both teams threw 3 INTs each, but a win is a win. SIMON IMBACH went 15 for 28, 124 YDs, 3 TDs, 3 INTs, and THOMAS CHAUSSÉ had 2 receiving TDs, 1 SK, and 1 INT in the win. BINES mustered up 83 YDs offensively and only have themselves to blame. They have had 4 different QBs in 3 games, why would you do that? For the record, I recommend DAVID MICHAUD for the position.

Let’s get to the sizzle!

Jimmy Dix: JARED BUCK went 16 for 25 with 211 YDs and 5 TDs, adding 24 rushing YDs and a rushing TD as WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS defeated PINCELLOS 40-20. Pure master class in this bounce back performance after week 2’s surprise loss. JARED controlled the pace of the game mixing in long balls and short balls when he had a short field to work with. He also managed to share the ball amongst his receiving core which always leaves everyone happy.

Deacon Moss: VINCENT BENJAMIN had 6 catches on 6 targets for a monstrous 128 YDs and 3 TDs. Just to put this performance into perspective, VINCENT had 128 yards of the team’s 224 yards, that is 57% of the team’s production. 4 TDs out of 7 TDs, that is also 57% of the team’s scoring productivity. Oh and yes, the performance also gave LOS BANDITOS their first win of the season as they defeated LONGHORNS 45-20, all in all, I’d say that’s a decent performance.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: MATHIEU OUIMET ran 5 times for 49 YDs and 1 TD as LE SPEAKEASY narrowly defeated WARRIORS 38-30. The 15 yard rushing TD late in the second half was the difference maker in this one as the WARRIORS matched MATHIEU’s 5 throwing TDs. In a game of two undefeated teams, it was LE SPEAKEASY who came out 3-0-0. This team is the real deal and even though they may not be undefeated by the end of the season, look for them to make a deep playoff run.

Trumaine: MAX NEWCASTLE had 2 INTs, both of which he returned to the house. In a game that was never in question, LOCKDOWN 55-12 SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS, MAX did not take the foot off the pedal. He added 5 catches offensively for 100 YDs and another 2 TDs. Yup, that’s right, 4 TDs total on the night. Take a bow Max.

Steve Lattimer: CEDRIK SEGUIN had 2 SKs as he helped his team the 0-2-0 COOKERS fry up the 2-0-0 THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT 24-12. The performance definitely had an impact on the surprise result as QB JONATHAN LEMIEUX was only able to complete 50% of his passes and was burned into throwing 1 INT. The COOKERS are no longer bottom dwellers and look to make it two in a row next week.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS 12-55 LOCKDOWN

This may be somewhat of an obscure stat to focus on but one that this QB finds extremely important. Forget the X’s and O’s, the stat that can make the difference between winning and losing is the extra point conversion. This week, LOCKDOWN and QB BUCK ANEER had an unbelievable 5 XP conversions, that is almost a whole TD. As a QB who struggles with the XP myself, BUCK ANEER was very precise in this one with only one incompletion and LOCKDOWN showed that they can overcome a dog fight with those pivotal XPs, even if they weren’t necessarily needed this week.

The Bad: THE R.E.E.T 30-0 KINGS OF THE NORTH

KINGS OF THE NORTH were 1-1-0 before this contest with an impressive win over BUFFALO WILD WINGS. Against a very strong THE R.E.E.T, I did not expect them to win but to put up a goose egg was just disappointing to see. QB HUGO QUINTIN just couldn’t get the wheels turning in this one, going 13 for 35 (37%) for 104 YDs. They did not fair any better defensively, coming up with 0 SKs and 0 INTs. This team needs and can do better if they want to play with the big dogs in this division.

The Ugly: TRAILER PARK BOYS 6-19 SAVE A HORSE

TRAILER PARK BOYS and ANTOINE MEUNIER only managed 82 offensive yards; 9 completions on 18 attempts, 3 INTs. SAVE A HORSE and KYLE DANIEL only managed 79 offensive yards; 8 completions on 15 attempts, 3 TDs. Don’t get me wrong, SAVE A HORSE deserve the win and 3 TDs is nothing to laugh at but the sheer lack of offensive productivity in this match up leaves me questioning if either of these teams are playoff bound.

DIVISION 5A TOP DOGS

As we head into week 4, we have 4 clear undefeated top dogs waiting to take it all the way to the ‘ship.

GHOSTS (3-0-0)

The GHOSTS are led by QB JAHMAAL ROACH. The team has 109 points for, 51 points against, and has faced an opponent’s combined record of (1-8-0). The GHOSTS have the pair of GABRIEL WISEMAN and KENNY BOUTILIER so expect them to keep putting up big points. Defensively, they really haven’t been tested and have had the weakest schedule so far amongst these four teams. For that reason, I have the GHOSTS at 3rd spot.

RAVENS (3-0-0)

The RAVENS are led by QB JOEL HOULE and his new favorite WR VINCENT PEDNEAULT. The team has 69 points for, 55 points against, and has faced an opponent’s combined record of (4-5-0). Defensively ALEXI DUBOIS has yet to make an impact but I expect that to change week 4. Facing stiff competition along the way I have the RAVENS at 2nd spot.

THE R.E.E.T (3-0-0)

The R.E.E.T are led by QB and rusher SANTINO SPARAGNA. The team has 120 points for, 30 points against, and has faced an opponent’s combined record (4-5-0). The team is firing on all cylinders and have a plethora of weapons on both sides of the ball; DANTE SPARAGNA and DAWSON PIERRE, just to name a few. Also, having faced stiff competition, I have THE R.E.E.T at the 1st spot.

METAVERSE (3-0-0)

The METAVERSE are led by WR and rusher NOAH GROPER. The team has 71 points for, 37 points against, and has faced an opponent’s combined record (1-7-1). A rarity of a team where the QB is not the best player on the team, the METAVERSE have been impressive so far even though their competition has been weak. It remains to be seen if anyone else besides NOAH can step up in the big game. For this reason, I have the METAVERSE at 4th spot.

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

Let’s get to the week 4 predictions, after going 1 for 5 last week, I need to bounce back with my predictions.

GHOSTS (3-0-0) vs METAVERSE (3-0-0)

In a match up of two undefeated top dogs, anything can happen. I won’t cop out and call a tie in this one. I’m gonna go with the GHOSTS, they have looked more impressive overall. METAVERSE are a great team as well but the 22-13 score line vs DILFS last week brought up some concerns. Look for GABRIEL WISEMAN to have a big game with QB JAHMAAL ROACH using him as his check down option. METAVERSE have a chance if NOAH GROPER can find a way to get to the QB, something he has been successful at so far.

LONGHORNS (0-3-0) vs RAVENS (3-0-0)

I guess I’m officially giving up on the LONGHORNS so watch them win this week. Seriously though, the RAVENS have looked impressive all three weeks so look for VINCENT PEDNEAULT and MATHIEU HOULE to continue to rack up the receiving yards in this one. Look for the defense, which hasn’t had to do much so far, and ALEXI DUBOIS to have a big game vs the struggling DAVE ALLEN.

RED DRAGONS (0-3-0) vs WARRIORS (2-1-0)

Look for the WARRIORS to rebound big time after last week’s loss. RED DRAGONS sit winless and prime for the taking. WARRIORS QB MITCH FERGENBAUM will find BENJI ZIEGLER early and often in this contest, he might even hit 5 TDs on the night. Defensively it will be done by committee as RED DRAGONS QB GUILLAUME BOULANGER is averaging 3 INTs per game. Just gonna say it, RED DRAGONS have no chance, no chance in hell.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS (2-1-0) vs TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON (1-2-0)

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS struggled out of the gate but managed to turn things around with two wins in a row. TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON have been inconsistent so far and need to remember to take the blue pill before every game. WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS ADAM LEROY will be salivating before this one as he hoped to pick off TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON QB DANNY MCFEE who threw 4 INTs last week. I’ll take WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS in a close affair.

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli