Categories: Division 5ADivision 5BWinter

We Goin’ Sizzler – Al Pacino, 420, and Bob Ross

Welcome back, I found all the eggs! Let’s try to recap both week 8 and 9 in Div 5 as we inch closer to the playoffs. Inches, inches are everywhere, and I’m not talking about a men’s sweat lodge, I’m talking about Al Pacino; every inch, every play matters. These last few weeks can be the difference between playoffs or no playoffs.

Another 4 for 4 week for me in the Div 5 predictions. VULTURES 2.0 came back from a 12-12 tie at halftime to beat BACKWOODS FC 37-12. That makes it three in a row for VULTURES 2.0 who sit at (4-4-0). RAVENS top the GHOSTS 26-18, this game could have gone either way since the matchup had 7 TDs but 5 INTs. In the end, it was the RAVENS who held onto their early lead to come out with the win and create separation with a (6-2-0) record. AIR FORCE 1 win again, defeating SAVE THE TURFTLES 30-6 bring them to (5-1-0). Finally, WARRIORS get back to winning by defeating SAVE A HORSE 33-13 but surprisingly lost their week 9 matchup.

Let’s get to the sizzle!

Jimmy Dix: FRANCIS DESROCHERS went 13 for 15 with 181 YDs and 7 TDs as the (4-4-0) LOS BANDITOS get back to their winning ways by defeating KINGS OF THE NORTH 45-0. The performance was needed as FRANCIS has struggled to pick up chunks of yards at times. He added 2 SKs on defense and the convincing win has definitely turned some heads.

Deacon Moss: VINCENT CHEUNG had a monster game catching 5 of 6 targets for 134 YDs and 4 TDs as SAVE THE TURFTLES defeated NOT MUSTANGS 42-6. VINCENT CHEUNG has been quiet this season and this is his first 100+ YDs game. He added 2 INTs, 1 pick 6 on defense, making the day a great 2-way performance.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: NICHOLAS DI MAULO ran 8 times for 58 YDs as the LONGHORNS defeated the DILFS 30-27. This is NICHOLAS DI MAULO biggest rushing performance of the season and the added 5 TDs as QB resulted in a well deserved win for LONGHORNS.

Trumaine: JUSTIN SANTILLO had 2 INTs, one of which he returned to the house for a defensive TD as WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS defeated STREETS AHEAD 26-21. In the close battle, JUSTIN SANTILLO was the difference maker, also adding 7 catches on 8 targets for 62 YDs and 1 TD on offense.

Steve Lattimer: MATHIAS GAGNON had a whooping 5 SKs as LE SPEAKEASY defeated COOKERS 18-6. The constant QB pressure also led to 3 team INTs. The performance is MATHIAS GAGNON‘s best of the year and brings him to 9 SKs on the season.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: RED DRAGONS

The RED DRAGONS began the season with a 4 game losing streak, being more than doubled in points. They then won 2 close games versus NOT MUSTANGS and SAVE THE TURFTLES bringing their record to (2-4-0) heading into week 8. Facing the undefeated LOCKDOWN, it was a shock result to see the RED DRAGONS come out with a 27-26 win. GUILLAUME BOULANGER had a great game going 14 for 25 with 124 YDs and 4 TDs, 1 INT, that makes it 4 games with 4 TDs or more. SAMUEL CANTIN added 8 catches on 9 targets for 73 YDs and 2 TDs, he leads the team in receptions and TDs. Defensively, VINCENT BOLULLO had 3 SKs, his biggest production on the season. Surely this streak couldn’t continue but in week 9 on 420 the RED DRAGONS became ‘puff the magic’ DRAGONS and defeated the COOKERS 19-6. With a 2 TD performance from LUCIAN LEONTIEV, the RED DRAGONS have done the impossible, winning 4 in a row and bringing them to a (4-4-0) record. More importantly, the RED DRAGONS are in a viable playoff position, they will need to continue this run to secure a spot. A great turn around, well done boys.

The Bad: WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS seemed like contenders at one point going (4-1-0) with a 4 game winning streak. They quickly fell from grace with a 3 game losing streak to COOKERS, BINES, and LOCKDOWN, bringing them to (4-4-0) and tied for the last playoff spot. With this great of a meltdown, do WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS even deserve a playoff spot? It is difficult to find a reason for this collapse but the lowered production of RANDOLPH KODUA and the absence of ADAM LEROY on defense surely plays a big part. The next match up versus SAVE THE TURFTLES is a clear conference playoff battle in which the losers will be knocked out of playoff contention.

The Ugly: GOOFY GOOBERS 13-18 PINCELLOS

This game was just uber ugly for both teams for very different reasons. We start with GOOFY GOOBERS; RUSSELL SCHWARTZ had a decent performance with 142 YDs and 2 TDs but the 3 INTs just killed it for him. The rest honestly wasn’t that bad, MATT LITWIN had 84 receiving YDs with 1 TD, MAX BURAH had 2 INTs, and BRENDEN SABLOFF had 4 SKs. Those are numbers that should be enough for a win but GOOFY GOOBERS are here because they let this very winnable game slip away. PINCELLOS on the other hand had horrible numbers; 5 different receivers with a total output of 7 completions for 85 YDs is just horrendous. I guess when players can’t be bothered to show up with numbered jerseys, stats are not that important. To be fair, a win is a win no matter how ugly it is.

The Playoff Picture

In Div 5A Conference A

Nothing is settled yet with seven teams mathematically still in for the six playoff spots. Moreover, every result can result in one team leapfrogging another. Realistically, the RAVENS and BALLZ DEEP with 12 points each should be in. The GHOSTS and BACKWOODS FC with 10 points each should also be in if they can win one more game. Finally we have VULTURES 2.0 with 8 points, THE MIGHTY 6 with 6 points, and STREETS AHEAD with 6 points. THE MIGHTY 6 have a slight upper hand with a head to head advantage over both STREETS AHEAD and VULTURES 2.0. With two difficult matchups coming, I see STREETS AHEAD missing out on a playoff spot.

In Div 5A Conference B

Anything can happen here with all teams still mathematically in a playoff spot. We begin with THE R.E.E.T. at 16 points, and METAVERSE at 14 points who are mathematically in and will be looking to finish top of the table. WUBBA LUBBA DUB WS and GOOFY GOOBERS are next with 10 points each and baring a meltdown, they will be in. Finally, we have LOS BANDITOS at 8 points, STEP BROS and LONGHORNS at 6 points, and with an outside shot we have PINCELLOS with 5 points, and KINGS OF THE NORTH with 4 points. I see STEP BROS, LONGHORNS, and PINCELLOS missing out, with each only having 1 game left, these teams left it too late.

In Div 5B Conference A

LE SPEAKEASY and LOCKDOWN are definitely in with 16 points each. Things get interesting after that with SAVE A HORSE with 10 points, RED DRAGONS with 8 points. The last two spots can go to THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT, NOT MUSTANGS, or BINES, each with 6 points. Unfortunately NOT MUSTANGS only have one game left to play and it is against a strong AIR FORCE 1 so I see them missing out.

In Div 5B Conference B

TRAPSTARS and AIR FORCE 1 are in with 16 and 12 points, then with 10 points we have TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON. With only three playoff spots left we have TEAM SEXY, WARRIORS, WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS, SAVE THE TURFTLES, and TRAILER PARK BOYS all with 8 points each. In the end TRAILER PARK BOYS and SAVE THE TURFTLES will miss out because they will be facing tough opponents in TEAM SEXY and WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS.

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

STEP BROS (3-6-0) vs LONGHORNS (3-6-0)

BALLZ DEEP (6-2-0) vs BUFFALO WILD WINGS (1-6-1)

LOCKDOWN (8-1-0) vs NOT MUSTANGS (3-6-0)

BINES (3-5-0) vs AIR FORCE 1 (7-1-0)

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli