The Writers of FPF: Simon Dagenais (Division 4)

The Writers of FPF: Simon Dagenais (Division 4)

I remember reading Simon’s articles as he started in FPF.  He took a lot of criticism as it took him a while to find his voice.  I was equally critical of him in his early days in FPF media.  However, I will give him credit, while he seemingly can’t win a playoff game, avoid throwing an interception or throw the ball with a traditional delivery, he is an extremely hard worker.  No FPF media member has worked harder at their craft than Simon Dagenais.

This season he will be quarterbacking in Division 4B(Friends With Benedicts) and 3 (Snatchers). He will also be playin as a receiver/DB for Supply & Command.  He continuously pushes himself on the field as he does behind keyboard and computer screen.  We will cross paths many times this season as he will be co-hosting Division 3’s Calling the Audible with me and he will be involved with some crossover segments from other shows and articles as well.  

Q&A

Q-Tell us about your playing career thus far. Tell us about your experience working in FPF Media. Who is Simon Dagenais?

A-I started my FPF career back in Winter 2010 as a backup for a friend’s team. Officially, started my FPF career as a member of the once known Empire led by Gino Di Fazio. The following season, I formed a well-known Franchise in the lower Division known as Dragons. We stuck around for 8 seasons from Winter 2011 to Winter 2015. We’ve now turned to different projects, different divisions. I’ve started working for the FPF Media back in Winter 2011 under Andrew D’Anna’s supervision. I was, originally, used to give a rebirth to the French articles. Ironically, I don’t do French articles anymore. I’m just a regular, everyday, normal guy, really.

Q-What is the most ridiculous thing that has happened to you as an FPF analyst? How about your personal life?

A-As a player, my most ridiculous thing happened in an early afternoon game during Spring Season. The night prior, I hosted one of the nastiest parties of my existence on the Saturday and had a FPF game on the Sunday. I remember, the game was at 3 PM and I thrown up around noon. I stood on the bench the whole prep time and changed 3 minutes prior to game time. I even wore sunglasses to captains’ Meeting because Lachine’s Lights (however bad they actually are) actually hurt my head.  I looked pompus but felt worse. I posted one of my best FPF career stats line that same day. Come to think of it, that was the most ridiculous thing that ever happened in my personal life as well.

Q-What will you add to the podcasts this season as FPF media has decided to include you in their audio/visual component?

A-Well, not only am I an idiot, but I tend to be pretty down to earth and straightforward. I find we tend to “try to be nice” too often and it makes for boring media. I learnt it the hard way.

Q-Who will win the divisions you are covering?

A-Since I’m covering Div3 in the podcasts and Div4 as a writer, I’ll have to make a prediction for both. In case this information is privileged and shouldn’t be shared with the public eye, I’m sorry I didn’t see any NDA, so suck it. In D3, I can see the Predators winning. Predators. In D4A, Les Maloudes seem to have what it takes. Finally in D4B: The Longhorns have finally found their place in FPF.  Their experience may well carry them to a championship.

Q-What is the cure for Simon Dagenais? How do we make you go away?

A-Usually, I’d say distance; traveling sucks, but I’ll, basically, be all over Montreal this Winter, soooooo you can’t. You can always attempt the good old Sting-a-roo, but that’s just not playing nice.

Q-Describe the battle between Bagels and Doughnuts in an anthropomorphic war of round foods.

A-Bagels would be like that girl you’ve dated because she’s safe; she’s cute, your mother loves her, better than toast and fills you up adequately, but she’s not as fun as that Doughnuts you could’ve. You know, that one girl you’ve dated for a short while that had an amazing body and made you do things you knew were bad for you yet, were so fun? Doughnuts are like the best sex of your life, but you can’t marry a doughnut; you’d die of obesity within the decade, so you’re stuck with Bagels dreaming about Doughnuts.

Wrap-up

There you have it folks. Doughnuts may win the battle but the war belongs to Bagels.  Simon can be insulted and tweeted @DagenaisFPF. Or you can feel free to email him at [email protected].