Categories: Division D

The Goal-Line Stand (Div D) – Week 9


There once was a writer of prose,

Whose worked smelled as good as his clothes.

The readers grew tired,

His time had expired,

What happened to him, no one knows.

 

Because I don’t want to end up like the fellow in the above folk tale about love, jealousy, and arousal, I’m going to refrain from adding any more stanzas to this week’s limerick.

 

There are a few teams in Division D who risk falling into the unknown. At least three teams in Conference A (Stunnerz, Marvels, and All-Coholics) and four teams in Conference B (Moose, Project Mayhem, Longhorns, C Difficile [not to mention Sons of Cyr who can just as easily finish 3rd as being out of the playoffs altogether]) have very real chances to either take the final remaining playoff spot in their respective conferences, or start planning for next January.

 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the very tops of the conferences appear to be falling as most could have predicted. #NoRegard and Rogues occupy the top two spots in A leaving a good Spartans team to sit in 5th, setting up what promises to be a fantastic first-round matchup for spectators. Les Affreux and TCO may jostle for position within themselves, but this may be with the sole purpose of avoiding the aforementioned Spartans in round one. In B, the story remains the same. The Boozers are the unquestioned champions of the conference and their only knock may be that they’ve only played one team with a winning record in their first nine games of the season. The Certified Flyguyz are in that weird nether-region where they’re too far from first buy can’t finish lower than second either – how seriously will they take their upcoming game? And finally everyone else in B will elbow for a better seeding come Week 10 as almost no other spots are guaranteed.

 

——————————————————

 

Current Standings

 

Conference A

Points

Wins

+/-

Divisional

1

#NoRegard ^

18

9

157

2-0-0

2

Rogues ‘

16

8

142

2-0-0

3

Affreux *

15

7

111

2-0-0

4

TCO *

14

7

81

2-0-0

5

Spartans ‘

16

8

104

1-1-0

6

Dragons ‘

12

6

27

2-0-0

7

Sea Assassins ‘

11

5

0

0-2-0

8

Stunnerz

8

4

31

1-1-0

9

Marvels

8

4

-61

1-1-0

10

All-Coholics

8

4

-69

1-1-0

11

Knights

6

3

-59

0-2-0

12

Westside Connection

5

2

-76

0-2-0

13

Checkmate

4

2

-38

2-0-0

14

Speed Demons

4

2

-61

0-2-0

15

Vikings

2

1

-125

0-2-0

16

Tailgates

0

0

-242

0-2-0

 

Conference B

Points

Wins

+/-

Divisional

1

Boozers ^

18

9

124

2-0-0

2

Certified Flyguyz *

14

7

86

2-0-0

3

Blue Mountain State ‘

11

5

48

1-1-0

4

Park-X Streets

8

4

-42

2-0-0

5

Lockdown ‘

12

6

87

2-0-0

6

Vis Motus ‘

12

6

10

1-1-0

7

Sons of Cyr

10

5

33

1-1-0

8

Moose

8

4

-19

2-0-0

9

Project Mayhem

8

4

3

1-1-0

10

Longhorns

8

4

3

1-1-0

11

C Difficile

8

4

-35

0-2-0

12

First Downers

6

3

-25

0-2-0

13

Broncos

6

3

-31

0-2-0

14

Eskimo Brothers

4

2

-79

1-1-0

15

Tyrants

4

2

-23

0-2-0

16

Flying Comics

4

2

-62

0-2-0

 

‘ : Clinched Playoffs

* : Clinched Division

^ : Clinched Conference

 

——————————————————

 

By the Numbers

 

This segment is kind of like seeing your name in the newspaper: you’re excited at first because it might be something awesome, but then you immediately panic because you remember all the stupid things you did last week. Here’s hoping…

 

12.6: Average tackles per team. Highest in all 9 weeks. 
26.67: Percentage of all interceptions this week returned for points. 
10: Number of touchdowns scored on the ground this week.
39: Yards allowed by Checkmate’s defense. Least this week.
7: Passes defended by Blue Mountain State. Eskimo Brothers were close to the lead with 6. 
12: Number of teams for whom at least 1 out of every 5 passes was a touchdown.

 

——————————————————

 

Power Rankings

 

With the playoffs just two weeks away, check in here to compare the teams you may currently be seeded against with your own ranking and see whether you’re the pressure-packed favorite, or under-the-radar-type underdog.

 

1. #NoRegard (9-0): #NoBody is more confident, #NoBody wants to play them in round one. 

2. Rogues (8-1): They want nothing more than a rematch with #them in the playoffs.

3. Boozers (9-0): Here’s a physical team that should be hard to stop in the playoffs.

4. Spartans (8-1): No shame in losing to a favorite for champions.

5. TCO (7-2): Lead the league in points against by a wide margin.

6. Certified Flyguyz (7-2): A well-rounded and consistent team throughout.

7. Affreux (7-1-1): Are they too young to be calling them “veterans”?

8. Vis Motus (6-3): An early-season pick to make it all the way, this team hasn’t shown its potential.

9. Blue Mountain State (5-3-1): One of the few teams who are actually better than their record.

10. Dragons (6-3): Their strong leadership should override the injuries this team is facing.

 

——————————————————

 

Predictions

 

I went 12-1 (I’m not counting the two games decided by forfeit) predicting Week 9 winners as I’m getting more and more comfortable with what teams are capable of. This brings my overall record to 82-33. That means that every time I pick you, there’s a 71.3% chance that it will come true. It also means Dagenais is going to be mowing his lawn in a skirt next Sunday.

 

Flying Comics vs. Certified Flyguyz

Spartans vs. Sea Assassins

First Downers vs. Broncos

#NoRegard vs. Vikings

Longhorns vs. Tyrants

Westside Connection vs. Knights

Moose vs. C Difficile

Checkmate vs. TCO

Rogues vs. Stunnerz

Speed Demons vs. Tailgates

All-Coholics vs. Marvels

Affreux vs. Dragons

Sons of Cyr vs. Blue Mountain State

Project Mayhem vs. Vis Motus

Park-X Streets vs. Eskimo Brothers

 

——————————————————

Fait que… C’est ça. [email protected] is where you can send any and all questions, comments, requests, and photographs to regarding FPF. Remember, even big shot writers need a little TLC (KFC, etc.) everyone now and then.

 

See you on the fields in Week 10.