The Goal-Line Stand (Div D) – Week 8 – FlagPlus Football League

There once was a league called FPF,

For whom games, there weren’t much left,

The balls had been thrown,

The whistles all blown,

To steal 8^th spot at this point would be theft.

Three teams remain perfect,

Others’ seasons, long wrecked,

But don’t ever give up,

Teams still strive for the cup,

The price high in football for willful neglect.

The Spartans, the Rogues, Vis Motus, and Boozers,

All hope to be crowned the only non-losers,

Les Affreux may soon clinch,

Off by only an inch,

Playoff matches, no teams can be choosers.

In what decade were they born,

The men of Longhorn?

Will their mound of experience,

Make things way too serious,

Their jerseys now long worn.

For the Comics, and Tyrants, and Vikings, and Checkmate,

A late-season surge may be officially too late,

They started off rocky,

And possibly cocky,

Unlike, of course, the new Blue Mountain State.

It will be a battle of will,

For team C Difficile,

They now have a spot,

Which hold on to they ought,

For to lose it, their spirit, would kill.

What of Lockdown, and Dragons, and Stunnerz, and Rogues,

No need for more talent – of this they have loads,

But can they win games,

Or go down in flames,

Well with them, their current situation bodes.

What would this limerick be without #NoRegard,

My feelings for them expressed best in a card,

They play and they ball,

Other team ‘gainst the wall,

For this league, beating them is too hard.

Unlike other writers I write much for fun,

The season, I fear, is near being done,

So drop me a line,

With grammar so fine,

Best writer award, I’m sure I have won.

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Current Standings

Conference A		Points	Wins	+/-	Divisional
1	#NoRegard *	16	8	117	1-0-0
2	Spartans ‘	16	8	109	1-0-0
3	Affreux ‘	13	6	77	1-0-0
4	TCO *	12	6	58	1-0-0
5	Rogues ‘	14	7	137	1-0-0
6	Sea Assassins ‘	11	5	25	0-1-0
7	Dragons	10	5	17	1-0-0
8	All-Coholics	8	4	-29	1-0-0
9	Stunnerz	6	3	6	0-1-0
10	Knights	6	3	-49	0-1-0
11	Marvels	6	3	-91	0-1-0
12	Westside Connection	5	2	-42	0-1-0
13	Speed Demons	4	2	-42	0-1-0
14	Checkmate	2	1	-57	1-0-0
15	Vikings	2	1	-95	0-1-0
16	Tailgates	0	0	-219	0-1-0

Conference B		Points	Wins	+/-	Divisional
1	Boozers *	16	8	112	1-0-0
2	Certified Flyguyz ‘	12	6	57	1-0-0
3	Sons of Cyr	10	5	45	1-0-0
4	Longhorns	8	4	5	1-0-0
5	Vis Motus ‘	12	6	39	1-0-0
6	Lockdown	10	5	54	1-0-0
7	Blue Mountain State	9	4	33	0-1-0
8	C Difficile	8	4	-20	0-1-0
9	Broncos	6	3	2	0-1-0
10	First Downers	6	3	-13	0-1-0
11	Project Mayhem	6	3	-27	0-1-0
12	Moose	6	3	-31	1-0-0
13	Park-X Streets	6	3	-44	1-0-0
14	Tyrants	4	2	-8	0-1-0
15	Flying Comics	4	2	-32	0-1-0
16	Eskimo Brothers	2	1	-94	0-1-0

‘ : Clinched Playoffs

* : Clinched Division

^ : Clinched Conference

By the Numbers

81.78: Percent of you who don’t even bother to read this segment anymore.

92.55: Percent likelihood that I will discontinue this segment starting next season.

3: Number of times this season I almost did.

1: Average number of sacks per team this week. Led by Boozers, TCO & Tyrants with 3 each.
6: Number of passes defended by Speed Demons. Highest this week.
14: Average number of rush yards per attempt for Rogues’ Kevin Lubin.
21.74: Percentage of passes intercepted against the Knights this week.
15: Number of teams with over 150 passing yards.
1: Number of QBs with perfect rating. Congrats to Alex Holowach of #NoRegard.

Power Rankings

You ever notice how small differences can make enormous differences? Like how a spider in your room with you is very different from a spider in your car with you on your way to an FPF game. Or how hot it would be if your girlfriend wore nothing but your football jersey, but how upset you would be if your best friend did that. Or even just adding a little smiley face at the end of your Facebook posts when you’re trash talking other teams opposed to not doing that (e.g. “We’re going to kill you :)” vs. “No, seriously, we’re going to kill you.”). Small differences make are a big deal in the Power Rankings, too.

1. #NoRegard (8-0): A look at their schedule suggests 10-0 may be a foregone conclusion.

2. Rogues (7-1): Shut-out Sea Assassins but showed moments of imperfection.

3. Spartans (8-0): THIS IS SPARTA!

4. Boozers (8-0): I expected them to beat the Broncos by more.

5. Certified Flyguyz (6-2): Only “true” loss was to #NoRegard.

6. TCO (6-2): I don’t know how to feel about shutting a team out while only scoring 9.

7. Affreux (6-1-1): Under the radar no longer.

8. Vis Motus (6-2): Can be the surprise playoff team people keep looking for.

9. Dragons (5-3): Currently on a 3-game winning streak.

10. Sea Assassins (5-2-1): An average couple of weeks has them in 10^th.

Thank me for putting you near the top of this list. Thank me for leaving you near its bottom so that you may fly under the proverbial radar.

Predictions

I went 11-4 predicting Week 8 outcomes. This brings me to 70-32. With an almost 69% accuracy rate, it’s no wonder I’m so popular on the sidelines at Lachine.

Spartans vs. Rogues

Sea Assassins vs. Stunnerz

Vis Motus vs. Certified Flyguyz

Project Mayhem vs. Flying Comics

First Downers vs. Boozers

Sons of Cyr vs. Moose

Marvels vs. Vikings

Speed Demons vs. Checkmate

All-Coholics vs. #NoRegard

Tailgates vs. TCO

Knights vs. Dragons

Tyrants vs. Eskimo Brothers

Westside Connection vs. Affreux

Blue Mountain State vs. C Difficile

Park-X Streets vs. Longhorns

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That’s it for this week’s Goal Line Stand. If you haven’t already, go give Calling the Audible a listen for a more complete breakdown of the current playoff picture. My trusty sidekick (he actually wears red tights) Paolo Della Rocca and I resort to fisticuffs once more over who will or will not make the playoffs as well as who’s poised to make a deep run.

E-mail me at [email protected] with any questions or comments regarding The Goal Line Stand or Calling the Audible. Don’t be shy volunteering (or I will voluntell you) to be a guest on the podcast, as there is still room for the playoff editions.

See you on the fields in Week 9.