The Goal-Line Stand (Div D) – Week 5

We’re officially mid-way through the regular season after this, our 5^th week of games.

 

And if your FPF experience is anything like my love-making experience, by this time interval your mind and soul are still willing, but the flesh is bruised and spongy.

 

I’m sure the second half of the season will be just as memorable. As Dick Button once said, they will be two halves that together will form a magical whole. (I was relieved when I searched Wikipedia to find that Dick Button was a former American figure skating champion, and not just a kind of button.)

 

This is surely true because as we all know, divisional play only happens in the final 3 weeks of the regular season. It would not be foolish to think that certain of the tighter divisions will be won in those games (i.e. A South with Affreux, Knights, and Dragons, as well as B East with Tyrants, Longhorns, Eskimo Brothers, and Park-X Streets).

 

Weekly Recap

 

Firsts for First Downers

 

The First Downers picked up their first win in club history this week when they beat Checkmate. Marc-André Théberge put up season-highs in yards, completions, TDs, and QB rating to score 34 points (another season-high). Checkmate’s acquisition of QB Jean-Michel Beaudin after starter Anthony Carbone went down with a knee injury has yielded mixed results thus far. Beaudin’s championship experience with the Outlaws and upper-division experience with Spring Cleaning is apparent but there appear to be chemistry issues with his new receiving corps. Snapper Paolo Della Rocca’s receptions have climbed while usual favorites Alex David and Michael Carbone have seen their production dip. The First Downers will look to build on this success and hopefully add another win before divisional play starts.

 

Tyrants Assassinated

 

One touchdown was the difference in this matchup as the Sea Assassins improve to 4-0-1. The veteran Tyrants, on the other hand, are 1-4. QB John Kaliotzakis can be said to be having a less than standard season – he’s 1 INT shy of last season’s total only five games into this season. On the other hand, he is also on pace for more completions, yards, and TDs than last season (career highs may even be reached for the two former categories). The Sea Assassins’ Bradley Roy continued his breath-taking pace as he caught 4 passes for 3 TDs, making him one of the league’s most potent deep-threats. The Sea Assassins boast a strong record, but debates abound about whether or not it is representative of their talent.

#Win

 

#NoRegard beat Project Mayhem this week in their usual underwhelming fashion – with a steady and reliable offense and intimidating defense. They didn’t shut down, but did control the offensive capabilities of David Daoust. This was probably the key defensively going into this, and Lance Daniel and the gang on defense made it happen. Closing out the first half of the season 5-0 was good for #NoRegard, as Rogues and Vis Motus lay ahead, both teams that threaten to snap their undefeated streak that now stretches two regular seasons. The eyes of the division as well as the league look forward to this Saturday at Lachine.       

 

By the Numbers

 

I can prove anything by statistics except the truth. Here’s a smorgasbord of possibly unreliable facts drawn from data that may not be altogether dependable.  

 

2: Number of teams with a touchdown efficiency of greater than 30% (#NoRegard & Sea Assassins).
130.67: Average number of passing yards this week. Averages to 11.17 yards per reception.
20: Number of tackles for Sons of Cyr. Highest this week. 
26.75: Average number of running yards this week. Averages to 7.85 yards per rush.
1.836: Touchdown / Interception ratio this week 
125.07: Difference in QB rating between highest-rated team (C Difficile: Emile Carey, 131.32) and lowest-rated team (Speed Demons: Sean Holder/Bryan Nguyen, 6.25)
8: Number of touchdowns scored by Lockdown’s Gianfranco Ranaudo; 6 in the air, 1 on the ground, and 1 on defense.

 

Power Rankings

 

Ronald Regan once said that concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty. But Regan had trouble concentrating on pretty much anything.

 

This made me wonder which of us has more power – the teams at the top of this list, or the person controlling which teams are at the top of this list. Paradox.

 

1. Rogues (5-0): The only thing better than their offense is their defense.  

2. #NoRegard (5-0): They’ll get top spot if they beat the Rogues Saturday.

3. Boozers (5-0): A great team that may have shown weakness against the Longhorns.

4. TCO (5-0): Their biggest test will come in Week 7 when they play the Boozers.

5. Spartans (5-0): Like last season, they have one of the most prolific offenses. Reminiscent of The Incredibles’.

6. Certified Flyguyz (4-1): A very underrated team defense propels this team forward.

7. Vis Motus (4-1): Scott Payne’s Division 2 experience gives Vis Motus a chance against anybody.

8. Sea Assassins (4-0-1): Despite the strong record, they may have to sneak into the playoffs due to tough divisional play.

9. Blue Mountain State (3-1-1): The experience under centre is starting to build up for Kevin Gauthier.

10. Affreux (3-1-1): A tough upcoming schedule threatens to knock them out of the Power Ranking in the weeks to come.

 

Predictions

 

One time at a carnival day in cégèp (what kind of cégèp was this?) I asked a psychic if I was going to pass Calculus II. He told me I was, in fact, going to. But I disagreed with him. My grade at the end of the semester taught me one thing – that I am psychic. I hit a small and insignificant bump in the clairvoyant road last week (like when you hit a homeless person on the highway) by going 9-6, bringing my overall record to 42-17. But, no matter, as this still keeps me safely ahead of Simon Dagenais who will owe me more than just a pat on the back by the end of the season. Frankly, he’s lucky there’s no such thing as dick buttons.

 

Marvels vs. Sea Assassins

Project Mayhem vs. Park-X Streets

Broncos vs. Blue Mountain State

Boozers vs. Moose

First Downers vs. Sons of Cyr

Flying Comics vs. Longhorns

Checkmate vs. Dragons

Speed Demons vs. Knights

Vis Motus vs. Eskimo Brothers

All-Coholics vs. Spartans

Tailgates vs. Westside Connection

Vikings vs. Stunnerz

#NoRegard vs. Rogues

TCO vs. Affreux

Certified Flyguyz vs. Tyrants 

 

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Do you want to be a contestant on Calling the Audible, FPF’s official podcast? Then e-mail me at [email protected] for details on how to do that. Next week’s co-hosts are Lance Daniel and Kendal Mayers of #NoRegard who will be in studio with me to talk about their Week 6 game versus Rogues.

 

Incidentally, I’ll be at that game Saturday night at Lachine to get a glimpse of the action if you want to have a chat and buy me a cup of decaffeinated coffee.

 

Until then, I’ll see you on the fields in Week 6.