The Goal Line Stand (Div D) – Week 11

 

I’ve been waiting for months and, at last, it came. The weeks of preparation and excitement. The hours of review and planning. They all came together on an evening this past week in one exhilarating event.

 

I finally got to see the last Harry Potter film.

 

Then we were treated to what was an incredible first round of playoff match-ups.

 

But I woke up with mixed emotions this morning, nonetheless. I was understandably excited about last week’s action, but equally perturbed that as teams get eliminated from contention, the tendency is for readership to drop off as well. Part of me hopes that I’ve entertained you enough over these past ten weeks that you will continue to spend a few minutes of your time to read what spews from my fingertips. The other part of me doesn’t care because he’s hoping to get a job writing for NFL.com.

 

Although that may be my dream, I assume that if you’re reading this, your dream is to one day capture an FPF championship. So with no further ado, here’s your playoff breakdown:

 

Weekly Recap

 

Flying Comics: Behind the Laughter

It was sad to see such a likeable team as the Flying Comics get eliminated from the Spring 2011 season so early on. However, the real story here is the much discussed “return of Stern” (this stuff writes itself). I’ve been exchanging e-mails with The Incredibles’ David Stein so as to fill everyone in on the big scoop. Here’s what he had to say:

 

The “return of Stern” was as much of a surprise to us as it was to the rest of the league. On the eve of our playoff game, Greg decided to return home from camp (where he had been working the last 5 weeks). I’m not entirely sure what motivated him to make his return (perhaps having to wait until January for another shot at a title) but he was welcomed back with open arms and an overall feeling of excitement. Stern’s presence on defense is often overlooked, as he is a key contributor on D as well. We certainly appreciate what Funamoto did for us while Greg was gone and the one major thing that we will continue to use is his unique style of play-calling. Overall, there is a strong feeling amongst our team that Greg has returned at the perfect time and with that first playoff victory finally under our belt, we are ready to contend for a championship.

 

I’ve removed the parts of the e-mail in which we discuss color swatches for brevity’s sake.

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing Average About the Joes

The clue: The Incredibles, Clockwork, and most recently, the Boozers.

 

The answer: Highly-ranked teams the Average Joes have upset.

If I know my biblical history – and I do – David killed an 18-foot Cyclops named Goliath with a water gun when he tried to steal his girlfriend at their high-school reunion. Well, that’s kind of what the Average Joes have developed a penchant for doing. Minus the water guns. When they beat the Boozers this past Sunday, they set themselves up for a rematch with odds-on favorites to win it all, Clockwork. All-star QB Bruno-Pierre Pelletier had an average game, going 14/25 with 2 throwing TDs, 1 rushing TDs, and 3 INTs. A sub-par performance by his own standards. Part of this may have been because spectators witnessed Pelletier rushing on the defensive side of the ball as well. Something he was not known for doing during the regular season. Perhaps the extra physical exertion may have had an impact on his offensive productivity. That said, the safe and steady Nikoletopoulos threw no INTs (to complement his tremendous regular season average of 1 INT per game) and led his team to victory in pressure-packed situations as he’s already done on several occasions this year. The Joes will not have an easy road to through Conference B, but there should no longer be any doubt that it’s possible.    

  

A Tale of Two QBs

Les Affreux squeaked out a 2-point win over Chili con Carne FFC in what was an electrifying QB duel. Hence the sub-title of this recap. Not to be confused with the nineteenth-century Dickens novel “A Tale of Two Cities,” this game was everything Andrew D’Anna had built it up to be in his article last week. In an effort to avoid wearing sweat-soaked pinnies (both teams wear red), Chili con Carne FFC donned their vintage black Widow Makers jerseys from the Winter 2011 season. A nostalgic move which at least boosted television ratings. Chili showed a lot of character when they battled back from being down late in the game to tie it at 25. Then, the unthinkable happened. The first snap of one of their possessions sailed over the fingertips of QB Loic Savoiz-Seguin and landed squarely in their own end zone. As dramatic as it was heartbreaking, it ended the season for one deserving team, and sent an equally commendable team to the next round. Despite being visibly disconcerted after the game, the Beauséjour brothers – who have quickly become the face of this brand – look forward to next season while Mathieu Domon and game MVP Jean-Daniel Joly (all 4 TD catches!) look forward to a match with Maximum Carnage.    

 

Clockwork Creams Kermit

In what was the most lopsided win of the week, Marco Masciotra showed why he was named two-way player of the year. Masciotra has talent in places where other guys don’t even have places. His 4 TDs, 2 INTS, and PD showed that he can be as dominating in the playoffs as he is in the regular season. Matt Kirouac was also a big contributor, shutting down what seemed like a concerted effort by the Replacements to run the ball more often than usual. 1 of the 12 qualities Kirouac shares with vault doors is that you will not get around them easily. Unless of course you’re in a Steven Soderbergh film and have access to a large amount of explosives. Then maybe.     

 

By The Numbers

 

This playoff edition of “By the Numbers” takes a look at what separates winning teams from losing teams in week 11.

 

3.3: Average number of points deciding 6 of the 8 games. Stat courtesy of The Incredibles’ David Stein’s mental math skills.

5: Number of games decided by less than a score. Testament to the parity in Division D.

3.75: Average passing TDs by winning teams. Losing teams averaged 2.5.

131.88: Average passing yards for winning teams. Losing teams averaged 142.88. Timing is everything when it comes to hard-boiling eggs and apparently yardage as well.

3: Number of winning teams scoring a TD on the run (Clockwork, Maximum Carnage, Tyrants). Losing teams scored 1 (Boozers).

9.73: Average interception percentage of all losing teams. Winning teams averaged close to half that (4.48%). Who’d of thought that not turning over the ball will win you games?

 

Second-Round Round-Up

 

Conference A

 

(1) Vikings vs. (7) UFF: Extra-points made the difference when UFF beat the Dragons last week. They’re going to need a least a couple of those to do the same this. Last week I mused about UFF potentially being Conference A’s playoff surprise, and it appears as though it might come true. Ready to crush that dream, however, are the Vikings who slowly but surely ascended to the top of the standings in Conference A throughout the season. Look for their overwhelming defense and quick-strike offense to give Francois Raymond and UFF their toughest game all season.    

 

Key matchup to watch: The Vikings ability to get under opponents’ skins vs. UFF’s ability to keep cool.

 

My pick: Vikings.

 

(3) The Incredibles vs. (5) Tyrants: The Tyrants come off a win over Lockdown in which they did not have their starting QB, John Kaliotzakis. They should only be stronger with him back in the lineup next week. This should have them very excited as they play an Incredibles team who have similarly rekindled a love affair with their QB, Greg Stern. Look for both teams to go for the jugular right away in what promises to be a fun second-round game.

 

Key matchup to watch: Go-to receiver Jacob Peterson vs. go-to receiver André Frederick.

 

My pick: The Incredibles.

 

 

 

 

Conference B

 

(1) Clockwork vs. (7) Average Joes: This will be a week 8 rematch in which the Average Joes upset a then unbeaten Clockwork. The Average Joes will not have Chris Smith in the lineup who was instrumental in their win over Clockwork last time. This shouldn’t worry them too much, however, having beaten the Boozers with the same team they’ll have next week. The key for Clockwork in this one will be to play their game and not let demons of week 8 haunt them. the Average Joes, on the other hand, have the intangibles on their side. 

 

Key matchup to watch: Masciotra’s arm vs. the Average Joe’s team defense.

 

My pick: Clockwork.

 

(2) Maximum Carnage vs. (4) Les Affreux: Here we find another regular season rematch in which the underdog came out on top. Les Affreux beat Maximum Carnage in week 6 by an extra point on a rare occasion in which Jason Lachapelle got out-rushed. The man who did it was Mathieu Domon who hopes his team’s luck will continue. Both these teams have deep depth charts and can turn to their second-tier players in times of need. 

 

Key matchup to watch: Jason Lachapelle’s ability to run vs. Daniel Bellefeuille’s rush. 

 

My pick: Maximum Carnage.

 

———————————————

 

One week of playoffs lay behind us while three more wait ahead. Which makes it all that much more important that you contact me at [email protected] with anything you might want to get off your chest (excluding unwanted hair). Enjoy the final weeks of the FPF season!

 

Finally, a shout-out to the league for deciding to hold its all-star games outdoors in an attempt to compete with the NHL’s Winter Classic. In your face, Gary Bettman.

 

P.S. My Microsoft Word spell-check function suggested I have may have misspelled “Batman” as “Bettman.”  But I think he looks more like the Penguin.