The Goal Line Stand (Div 5) – Week 9 – FlagPlus Football League

La seule chose qui peut rivaliser avec l’absurdité de croire aux miracles est bel et bien d’essayer d’écrire à leurs propos.

Mais honnêtement, quand est-ce qu’avez-vous retrouvé ce que vous cherchiez dans cette article ?

The other day I actually had everyone on my team pay their share of the inscription fee in full. And I didn’t even have to threaten benching or public humiliation via this article (an option not open to most captains). It was a veritable miracle.

So if you’re on the cusp of making the playoffs, but aren’t so sure, remember: miracles happen in FPF too.

Here’s what we’re looking at heading into week 10:

Conference A		Points	Wins	+/-	Divisional
1	No Regard *	17	8	122	2-0-0
2	Coyotes *	15	7	108	1-1-0
3	Flying Comics *	14	7	144	2-0-0
4	La Sauce *	12	6	98	1-1-0
5	Mean Machine ‘	14	7	107	1-1-0
6	Mustangs du Gr. ‘	12	6	74	2-0-0
7	Centurions ‘	12	6	64	2-0-0
8	Big Birds	10	5	41	0-2-0
9	TCO	8	4	30	2-0-0
10	Mudsharks	8	4	31	1-1-0
11	Pendant Publishing	6	3	-4	0-2-0
12	Dark Knights	6	3	-84	0-2-0
13	Love Cows	4	2	-79	1-1-0
14	Marvels	4	2	-148	1-1-0
15	Team CoreXcellence	4	2	-111	0-2-0
16	Blue Mountain State	4	2	-91	0-2-0

Spots that are up for grabs: 8th
– If Big Birds win/tie against Flying Comics, they clinch;
– If Big Birds lose, TCO can get in if they beat Blue Mountain State.

Conference B		Points	Wins	+/-	Divisional
1	Les Buddays ^	16	8	164	2-0-0
2	Affreux ‘	12	6	68	2-0-0
3	Lockdown ‘	12	6	28	2-0-0
4	Warhawks	10	5	11	2-0-0
5	Team Ethnik ‘	13	6	60	1-1-0
6	Checkmate ‘	12	6	68	1-1-0
7	Thunder ‘	11	5	54	2-0-0
8	Tyrants ‘	11	5	16	1-1-0
9	Js	8	4	20	2-0-0
10	Spartans	7	3	29	0-2-0
11	Green Lantern Corps	6	3	-82	1-1-0
12	Takers	6	3	-33	0-2-0
13	Crooklyn Dodgers	6	3	-56	0-2-0
14	Venom	4	2	-76	0-2-0
15	Tailgates	2	1	-222	0-2-0
16	Predators	2	1	-283	0-2-0

Spots that are up for grabs: 4th
– If Warhawks beat/tie J’s, they clinch;
– If Js beat Warhawks, they clinch.

Weekly Recap

Pick-six’d !

By Simon Dagenais

Allant à l’encontre de mes prédictions, La Sauce s’incline devant TCO par la marque de 39-20. La défensive de TCO a intercepté François Raymond deux fois pour un pick-six, chaque fois. Arrivant un peu en retard, le QB de La Sauce a pas eu le temps de s’échauffer et ça la parut lorsqu’il a lancé, sur sa deuxième passe de la soirée, un pick-six. TCO mis fin à la partie lorsqu’il en effectuait un deuxième. Néanmoins, il ne faut pas enlever du succès à leur offensive, qui, malgré les 3 interceptions, ont tout de même parvenu à scorer plus souvent que celle de La Sauce. Attendez-vous à un rematch en playoffs avec un François Raymond échauffé et affamé.

Affreusement offensif

By Simon Dagenais

Les Affreux ont forcé Tailgates à s’incliner après une performance dominante des Mathieu (Domon et Dubois) samedi soir. Les statistiques décrivent adéquatement la partie; Mathieu Domon ; 3 rushing attempts pour 76 verges et 2 TD. 18 Passing attempts, 9 completions, 184 verges, 5 TDs, 1 Int. Incroyablement efficace. Mathieu Dubois, connaissant une excellente soirée autant à l’offensive qu’à la défense enregistre 4 réceptions pour 106 verges et 3 TDs. Game monstrueuse. Malgré la bonne partie qu’a connu Simon Houle-Gauthier, Tailgates ont simplement manqué de jus. Une excellente partie comme on les aime à FPF ; 44-30. Les Affreux solidifient leur place en playoff tandis que Tailgates vont devoir patienter à la saison prochaine !

J’s Make Predators Their Prey

Last Saturday at 6 pm was the first episode of the Luong-Beauchamp show on the FPF network. Hai Minh Luong and Remy Beauchamp put on quite the spectacle, leading the league this week in passing yards and receiving yards respectively. As important as the win was in and of itself, the significance of this game lies in what it sets up for week 10. They (the J’s, named after Jarry Park) play the Warhawks who currently lead their division. The winner of this game will win the division and one of the playoff seeds between 2^nd and 4^th depending on other factors, and the loser will not make the playoffs at all. All Conference B teams who may be finishing in spots 5 through 7 should be watching carefully, as one of these two teams will be inevitably standing between them and the second round.

By the Numbers

There is a common perception among the general population that statistics are not to be trusted because of their ability to be manipulated in favor of the person presenting them. When we are distrusting of the results, we can elect to ignore certain data or look elsewhere for numbers.

26.67: Average number of yards per reception for La Sauce
56.17: Percent of all passes completed this week. Highest this season. Led by Flying Comics’ Frank Grenier (80%) and Warhawks’ Tim O’Hara.
21: Number of tackles by Checkmate. Highest among all teams this week. Mudsharks came a close 2^nd with 18.
5.83: Percent of all passes intercepted this week. Lowest this season. 10 teams with 0 interceptions.
4: Number of interceptions by J’s Roch Fortune. 39 people have 4 or more throughout the entire season.
27.375: Average points scored this week. Highest this season. 25.6875 of these points were scored by teams’ offenses.
2: Number of rushing touchdowns scored by Les Affreux’s Mathieu Domon.

But you only have one D5 article to choose from.

Power Rankings

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a helicopter when I grew up. Once I was old enough to realize that was physically impossible, I decided I wanted to be an FPF writer. You may say it’s luck, and you may be right. But I’ve worked very hard in life to be this lucky.

1. No Regard (8-0-1): They’re setting themselves up for a date with either Big Birds or TCO in round 1.

2. Les Buddays (8-1): I watched them beat the Crooklyn Dodgers from the adjacent field during my own game. No wonder my stats are slipping.

3. Coyotes (7-1-1): Unlike most new teams, their schedule has actually been moderate. But can they match up against potential playoff opponents like Mean Machine, Centurions, or the Mustangs again?

4. Flying Comics (7-2): I’m sorry for ever doubting you. (Also, their game against the Love Cows will be replayed due to a miscommunication and magic.)

5. Mean Machine (7-2): These guys are hoping the Flying Comic debacle was just a blip on the radar. The machine is still on.

6. La Sauce (6-3): According to the stats, Francois Raymond threw two TDs to himself for 80 yards. He’s either incredibly talented or has invented a matter transporter/time machine. There is no other reasonable explanation.

7. Team Ethnik (6-2-1): It looks like their week 7 stumble is behind them. Regardless of where they finish, a very tough 1^st round opponent awaits them.

8. Affreux (6-3): They’ve won five in a row now. The biggest game of the season is in week 10. Winner takes the division.

9. Centurions (6-3): They’ve blown out two divisional rivals in a row. A win against No Regard won’t help the standings so much, but will help their confidence.

10. Mustangs do Gridiron (6-3): They hold on to tenth because of their convincing divisional play.

Did you get as lucky as me?

Predictions

Grigori Rasputin (known commonly just as “Rasputin”) was a mystic in Russia in the early twentieth century. He was known as a visionary or prophet to some, and as a debauched charlatan to others. In this way, Rasputin reminds me of myself. Except I’m actually having an impact on history here…

1. TCO vs. Blue Mountain State: TCO uses the emotion from last week and beats Blue Mountain State this.

2. Flying Comics vs. Big Birds: Two teams going in different directions in this one. Pick the Comics. (N.B. if predictions 1 and 2 come to fruition, TCO will make the playoffs in 8^th spot.)

3. Warhawks vs. J’s: The Warhawks will win and, as a result, be the only team from their division to make the post-season.

4. Thunder vs. Affreux: Thunder will shock Les Affreux and take first. How much is a strong seeding worth, anyway?

5. Mean Machine vs. Love Cows: Will we see the Mean Machine that played the Big Birds, or the one that played the Flying Comics? Either way they should win. I’m still just thinking about Francois Raymond’s time machine.

As of right now, I’m now 27-7-1.

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Over the weekend I sat down with TCO’s captain, Brent Callender. In keeping with the ideology that Division 5 is a community, Brent gives us an intimate look at his team and their season thus far. The interview that follows has been edited for length and does not include the fist fight, which can alternatively be seen on YouTube.

Andrew D’Anna: Brent, tell the league who is TCO? A group of friends? A former school team? A mix of both?

Brent Callender: We’re a group of friends who know each other from High School and about two years ago we started playing touch football every Sunday morning during the Summer/Fall. Once we heard about this league we decided it’d be fun to test our skills against some other teams.

AD: You’re the captain of this team. You lead your team in tackles. Is this your way of leading by example?

BC: Well our team prides itself on defense and I believe leading by example is the best method to use. So when I’m on the field I always try to make whatever defensive plays I can to help my team.

AD: What did you guys think about the atmosphere at your first FPF game?

BC: As soon as we arrived at the Brossard Sports Complex we realized how real the whole FPF league was. I could see it in every one of my teammates’ eyes how excited they were to go out and finally get on the field and show their stuff.

AD: How did you guys react when you started 0-4? Was there someone or something that helped turn you guys around?

BC: We were upset when we started out 0-4 because we never as a team find losing acceptable but we never felt like we weren’t good enough to compete in the league. There wasn’t a specific source that helped us turn it around. I think it was once we got more comfortable with the league and the rules we were finally able to find our rhythm and once we had that we were able to get things going in the right direction.

AD: Did you guys feel like an 0-4 team? It seems like the Les Buddays and Mean Machine games were close enough to consider them as moral victories.

BC: At the moment of the losses we were upset but when we reevaluated the situation we realized that those were legitimate teams and we could use them as moral victories. As for the 0-4, we knew that’s what our record said but truthfully we knew we were much better than advertised. We were actually leading in both games against Les Buddays and Mean Machine, the problem was that we couldn’t close those games and the other two out properly. We were playing the same way Lebron James would during the fourth quarter.

AD: Your game against La Sauce really put you guys on the map. Tell us about it.

BC: We knew the type of challenge that was facing us in La Sauce, so we knew we had to start fast in that game. Curtis Drakes set the tone right away with a pick-6 on the first series, they answered immediately after that though and showed why they’re one of the best teams in the division. But we never felt overmatched during the game and we knew we had to just make more plays than they did, our defense made a couple of big stops during the late stages of the game and when we needed our offense came up clutch and made the plays we needed to get the lead. Once we got the lead we knew our defense could close it for us and we did.

AD: Tell me about your quarterback, Tim Bondoux.

BC: When Matt Bondoux (our starter) went down with the injury, we turned to Tim a.k.a. “Tunnel Vision”. I would say we have a love/hate relationship with him, because at times he can play the position really well and other times he looks like Tim Tebow. But to his credit he has kept it together and has really improved and shown us that he can lead us to victories.

AD: Matthew Rupcic leads your team in receptions and is arguably one of the better defensive players in the league. How important is this guy for TCO to succeed?

BC: No doubt he is a major factor in our team success. When he’s on the field he brings a certain type of calmness to the team because we know exactly what he’s bringing to the table and when he is making as many plays as he does it only motivates the rest of our team to play at a higher level.

AD: What do you think is in store for the Blue Mountain State game?

BC: I think it’s going to be a fun game because both teams will be leaving nothing on the table seeing that it’s the last game of the year. Every single player on our team has stepped up their game during this win streak, and I know they’ll be looking to finish the season with a bang!

AD: A whole lot of pieces need to fall into place for you guys to make the playoffs, most of which are out of your hands. But it’s still possible. What do you feel your chances are?

BC: We know the odds aren’t in our favor, but we’re going to go out there Saturday night and play as hard as we can and try and get this win. Whether we make the playoffs or not I’ll be proud of how hard my teammates played this year, because they showed a lot of heart through this season which was filled with many challenges.

AD: Are you really not going to tell us what TCO stands for?!

BC: We will let you and the rest of the league know what it stands for when the time is right. For now we’ll let everyone try and figure it out. But we can assure you that it doesn’t stand for “The Coconut Oil,” although we did enjoy that one.

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If you’re asking yourself, “Hey, why does Brent get an interview and I don’t? I want Andrew D’Anna to make me famous too,” then I have your answer. This interview was an idea that emerged from an exchange of e-mails between Brent and myself.

If that doesn’t encourage you to e-mail me at [email protected], I don’t know what will.

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Funny Story

Because my articles are rather lengthy, I’ve developed the habit of always carrying around a digital copy with me. This usually means as an attachment in my e-mail that I send to myself so that regardless of where I am, I can add to it on the fly. So far, it’s proven to be a genius idea because before I know it, everything’s written and I don’t feel like I’ve had to pore over it for hours.

On Tuesday morning I found myself adding to it in my school’s library. After I had put a couple of hours into it, I decided it was done. The cherry on the top of the sundae was a joke about fisting (or fist-fighting, can’t remember). I clicked “Save As,” verified the file name, and began the process of e-mailing it to myself so that I could proofread it once more before sending it off. But the file was nowhere to be found.

After some basic troubleshooting I began to panic. My mood quickly shifted from cool and collected to frantic and unreasonable as the options of rewriting it immediately, asking for an extension, submitting half an article, and running away progressively became more and more likely.

But then I did what I always do in these times of crisis: I thought about a useful Bible verse. Matthew 7:7 encourages one to ask so that they may receive (other notable verses include the ones about not listening to talking snakes, why your foreskin is evil, and something about not crucifying people on Fridays during lent).

So I asked the man at the front desk if there was a way to find the file I had apparently lost. He said he’d do his best to find out, and informed the other receptionist of what was happening. This second receptionist then informed a librarian who then eventually got hold of other librarians. These new librarians then managed to get the head librarian involved. She then got on the phone with tech support who was assisting her via the telephone and had sent a technician. I spent some time with these people at the beginning trying to explain what I had lost, and once more people joined into the effort, they began explaining it to each other.

Ten minutes into my request I had 2 administrators, 5 librarians, 1 head librarian, 2 people from the tech team, and now about 7 students trying to help me find my article. Amongst all the commotion in this Montreal university library all that could be pieced together from the chitter-chatter was, “Hey, we’re trying to help Andrew D’Anna from Lockdown find his file for The Goal Line Stand for Division 5 FlagPlus Football. Can you help us?” To which the answer was always somehow “Yes.” Needless to say, the file was found.

Guys, we’re famous.