The Goal Line Stand (Div 5) – Week 6

At the beginning of every football season, teams sit down with themselves (reminds me of most of my dates) and decide which division they belong in. Seasoned teams with high-level experience and a good track record in FPF select one of the upper divisions, while teams without any football background who are generally new to the league select one of the lower divisions. They make this decision in an attempt to maximize the fun they are going to have. This is because we can all agree that pummeling teams in Division 5 when you belong in Division 1 is as fun as getting your flags burnt off in Division 1 when you belong in Division 5.

After I saw the big point spread in week 4’s La Sauce/Flying Comics game I wanted to check out the stats. When I did I saw some names I didn’t recognize. La Sauce had three different players in the line-up with upper-level experience. Their QB for that game had had Division 1 experience with the Expos and two other players had been part of Division 1 (CLR Forces) and Division 2 (Homosapiens) rosters respectively. It should be stated now, however, that at least a calendar year had passed since these players were in these divisions, and therefore the tag had been dropped. Thus, they were legal players.   

Although technically legal, the presence of these players brings into question the notion of sportsmanship. La Sauce – last season’s UFF – have built themselves a reputation of being a fun and honest team to play against. The decision to bring in former Division 1 and 2 players, however, has put them in the spotlight. If a team makes a conscious decision to put themselves in Division 5 (as mine has, for example) it’s because once a week we’re interested in having fun, getting some exercise, and returning to our beet farms on Monday morning. If I were to show up, unsuspectingly, to play against high-level players in what I thought was the most recreational of all divisions only to get my posterior indented, I would have no fun, get no exercise, and worst of all, my beets would certainly be the ones to suffer.

This comment is limited to Division 5 as it would not be my place to step further, but when making game-related decisions, please consider the other teams in the league. In a paradoxical way, we need each other to maintain the order and caliber of FPF’s best division.

Weekly Recap

Thunder Zap Mudsharks

Bruno Lavergne made his return to throwing the ball for Thunder this week in a big way. By exploding for 259 and 5 TDs, Thunder scored more points in week 6 than they have all season. Of note was Jameson Gilbert who played his first game for Thunder this season. Gilbert has two season of Division 3 experience. Perhaps Gilbert was a reactionary move after Thunder suffered two straight losses. He gave Lavergne a fantastic target all game racking up 10 catches for 101 yards and 4 of Lavergne’s 5 TDs. Thunder’s schedule cools off a little now but the same isn’t true for the Mudsharks. Despite an average record, they may still have to bank a few more wins to secure a playoff spot in a very competitive 5th Division.

Les Affreux dominent
By Simon Dagenais

Des courses de Mathieu Domon, des Touchés pour Jean-Daniel Joly et Antoine Del Bello combinés avec un sac-du-quart de Daniel Bellefeuille et une grosse présence en défense de Mathieu Dubois/Daniel Feltham/Jean-Daniel Joly et nous pouvons constater que les Affreux veulent un playoff spot. Samedi passé, Pendant Publishing voyait que du rouge, ironiquement leur couleur également, et ne savait tout simplement pas quoi faire pour combattre. Malgré l’utilisation de 6 receveurs différents, Allan Lester n’a pas parvenu à atteindre la zone des buts assez fréquemment et la marque finale s’est avéré pencher pour les Affreux pour la deuxième fois de suite. Vont-ils parvenir à atteindre trois victoires d’affilées ? Je pense bien que oui.

No Regards for Lockdown
By Simon Dagenais

The new Facebook sensation; No Regard are more than just a sensation. Last week, they faced Lockdown, an experienced FPF team loaded with all-around talents and it seemed G.M. Kolethras was right, they might be going downhill. Alexandre Guertin, being the giant he is, caught both of his team’s TD, but couldn’t do it all by himself offensively. The two thrown INTs sealed the game. Nonetheless, No Regard took it home once more and deserves bragging rights. Harry Aggrey dominated offense with his best game yet: 8 catches for 106 yards and 1 TD. Considering his QB threw 138 total yards, he managed to make 76% of the yards by himself (something we don’t see that often). Interesting games are upon No Regard’s future schedule. Will they fall short or will they stand tall? Only time, or Andrew D’Anna’s mystical talents at predicting odds, will tell.

By the Numbers

According to someone on Wikipedia, interpretation of statistical information can often involve the development of a null hypothesis in that the assumption is that whatever is proposed as a cause has no effect on the variable being measured.

My null hypothesis, then, is that these stats have no effect on the interest of readers. Let’s test it out!

11: Combined interceptions of the 0-6 teams this week. Compared to 0 combined interceptions for the 6-0 teams. 
54.87: Percent of completions this week. Highest this season so far. Led by Thunder’s Bruno Lavergne (79.31%) and Checkmate’s Anthony Carbone (70%).
2: Number of pick-6s in one game by the Flying Comics’ Matthieu Sola. 
18.18: Percent of dropbacks resulting in a sack for the Spartans. Followed closely by La Sauce (16%) and Centurions (15%)
3.40625: Average touchdowns scored through the air this week. Tied for highest this season so far.
4: Number of teams with rushing touchdowns (Affreux, Spartans, TCO, Green Lantern Corps).
25.03125: Average number of points scored per team this week. Highest this season so far.
1: Number of people away on business who sent me their segment late this week. The masses have been rabble-rousing.

Power Rankings

International Living ranked Canada 9th amongst all countries of the world in terms of its quality of life. Here, you’re judged for your quality of play. Will you be like glorious Switzerland, or shameful Georgia?

1. Les Buddays (6-0): I’m disappointed in last week’s score, but that doesn’t affect their ranking.
2. No Regard (6-0): Keep rolling through the competition.
3. Coyotes (5-0-1): Who are these guys? And how are they keeping up this pace?
4. Team Ethnik (5-0-1): More team than ethnic, these guys are for real.
5. Mean Machine (5-1): Found their stride and never looked back.
6. La Sauce (4-2): Their hired guns make them a force to be reckoned with.  
7. Checkmate (4-2): Good record, but is their toughest competition to come?
8. Big Birds (4-2): Two straight losses slide them down the Power Rankings.
9. Centurions (4-2): If they can win next week, they’re officially back on track.
10. Tyrants (4-2): They can be OK if they beat No Regard next week.

Predictions

I went 5-0 again last week bringing me to 17-3 overall. This record was so good I tested my luck and put my life savings on a mise-au-jeu lottery ticket. On an unrelated subject, I’m going to be accepting article donations next week.

1. Crooklyn Dodgers vs. TCO: These teams’ week 7 will look a lot like their week 6. Dodgers.
2. Tailgates vs. Coyotes: The Coyotes remain one of my favorite rookie teams.
3. Warhawks vs. Flying Comics: With the loss of Sebastien Ravary, the Warhawks should have an easier time.
4. Tyrants vs. No Regard: No Regard should continue their winning ways. Like it or not.
5. Affreux vs. Mudsharks: Their win against Pendant Publishing will have them on a roll. Affreux.

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For those of you following Simon Dagenais and the Dragons in Division 4, here’s Dagenais’ second journal entry about the experience he and his team are having moving up to Division 4 from Division 5:

Intensité, Connaissance, Chimie.

Trois mots, trois entités, trois principes. Après 6 semaines, on peut déclarer en connaître davantage sur la Division 4. La différence entre la Division 4 et 5 est flagrante; l’expérience d’autrui. En division 5, l’adaptation aux règles, jeux et dimensions de FlagPlus est présente pour tous, en Division 4, certains joueurs jouent depuis 6 de fois même 8 saisons; pour eux, l’adaptation n’existe plus. Avec les semaines, nous avons réalisé que nos défaites proviennent de trois facteurs; l’intensité sur le terrain, la connaissance des règles de FPF ainsi que des tracés/jeux qui fonctionnent selon le positionnement sur le terrain et la chimie de l’équipe ensemble. 

L’intensité ne veut pas dire de frapper, insulter et cracher sur l’autre équipe, mais de tout simplement avoir une présence sur le terrain. De jouer chaque jeu comme s’il était le dernier du match et de tout donner à tout moment. Une équipe qui joue “mou” est une équipe qui perd sur le tableau de pointage à la fin, tout simplement. Une équipe sans chimie va se voir gagner de temps à autre, mais lorsqu’un problème arrive, une erreur sur le terrain la plupart du temps, la chimie va faire que vous allez apprendre et que ça l’arrivera plus, ou que vous allez vous crier après et vous détruire vous même avant même que le QB de l’autre équipe lance le ballon une deuxième fois. La connaissance vient avec l’expérience. De savoir quoi faire, quand le faire et pourquoi le faire, ça s’apprend avec les essais et les erreurs: ils n’existent pas de formules magiques parce que chaque équipe est différente et chaque joueurs jouent différemment. Deux joueurs feront le même tracé d’une façon légèrement différente qui peut tout changer. 

Pour s’améliorer, faut pas aller chercher les All-Stars de FlagPlus, mais de développer un talent ensemble, avec certains joueurs. C’est sur, le talent individuel aide énormément, mais plafonne assez vite également. Jouez avec les mêmes joueurs et vous verrai qu’à la deuxième saison, plusieurs erreurs commises dans la première s’effaceront par eux-mêmes.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.

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I’d like to thank everyone who e-mailed me this week. Having more in my inbox than usual gave me something to do while sitting in class. Thanks to you guys, I have no idea what Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is, and therefore am not responsible for anything that goes wrong because of this.

Send all e-mails and writer jokes to [email protected]