The Goal Line Stand (Div 5) – Week 2

 

With week 2 of flag-football officially in the books and my books about flag-football officially in the trash, a long-term view of Division 5 is beginning to materialize. Sometimes I find it hard not to become a fan of certain teams. This becomes especially troublesome when a glance at the calendar shows that I’ll be playing against them in the near future. But therein lies the beauty of Division 5 football. The character and sportsmanship of all teams is apparent. (Except for those guys in the black and white stripes. Who do they think they are?)

 

 

 

  

 

Pour ceux parmis vous qui ont réussis à déciphrer les statistiques de la semaine passée (Doctorat en Mathématiques recommandé), ce fut clair que la nouvelle expansion de la ligue apporte une amélioration sur le terrain. Malgré qu’on soit en Division 5, les équipes démontrent beaucoup de talents, d’abilités et d’ambition. Ceci montre que Division 5 est un environnement adéquat pour perfectionner les talents des joueurs et construire une équipe avant d’atteindre le niveau “plancher” de FlagPlus, aussi connu sous le nom de Division 4. Évidemment, ceci est le but de la

 

ligue malgré qu’on s’écarte, paradoxalement, de sa nature récréative.

 

 

 

In an attempt to motivate myself to write this article, I sat in front of the television all weekend and watched hour upon hour of NFL playoff football. In addition, greasy snacks and naps were introduced to examine whether or not I could handle such a taxing work load. Apparently, I can.

 

 

 

I was so motivated, in fact, that at dinner I threw my napkin in the air and charged my girlfriend with an OC when the grated cheese was not served alongside the pasta. I may be starting to take this game too seriously. Or maybe my girlfriend hasn’t begun to take it seriously enough. The former seems much more likely and the latter seems like an erotic dream I had in the not too distant past.

 

 

 

In any case, because I love the input of the players and readers as much as I like seeing new e- mails pop up in my inbox, please send me an e-mail whose subject line is “You know you’re starting to take flag-football too seriously when…” and I’ll compile of list of the best ones for one of the upcoming weeks.

 

 

 

No, this isn’t just me getting you to write my article.  

 

 

 

Weekly Recap

 

 

 

Ils Sont Affreux

 

 

 

C’est quoi la différence entre deux Quart-arrières qui ont, approximativement, le même nombre d’essais et de verges, le même nombre d’Interception et des abilités similaires pour courir ? 
La distribution du ballon. La semaine passée, en autant de verges, les Affreux ont réussi à scorer un touché de plus que les Mustangs du Gridiron, leur donnant la victoire par la marque de 33 à 25 parce que Mathieu Domon a été capable d’atteindre cinq de ses receveurs comparativement à Simon Vallée qui en a atteint que trois. Ceci étant dit, FlapPlus Football est la seule place, 
à notre connaissance, qu’on peut “collaborer” avec cinq gars en 60 minutes sans passer pour une pute. Cette victoire amène Les Affreux à un score de 1-1, mais leur semaine à venir ne sera pas facile. Ça sera pas facile de transformer ça en victoires consécutives.

 

 

 

Dodging a Loss

 

 

 

Being tied at halftime is not where the Crooklyn Dodgers wanted to find themselves in week 2. This was a game that, on paper, could have been their first win of the season. That’s why in the second half, Iadeluca hit Iadeluca and the cousins would eventually hook up for about half the junior’s yardage and half his TDs. A lot was made of the existence of a player like Tony Testa in the lower ranks of Division 5 on last week’s WEPL. And this is understandable. The only thing Testa has more than talent, is height. However, it is nice to see that there isn’t an issue of complete domination perpetuating itself during Dodgers games. Their next game is against La Sauce. This team has some experience on it, with former Dragon, UFF, and Boozer players sporting their colors.

 

 

 

No Regard for Chess

 

 

 

An ominous “#NoRegard” post appeared on the FPF Facebook wall shortly after their defeat of Checkmate who were, at the time, unbeaten. Checkmate demonstrated good team defense – as is their norm – however were not able to score the points necessary. Checkmate QB Anthony Carbone was held to only 8 completions in the loss to No Regard. A bright spot for the player was that he averaged 8.4 yards per carry on 8 rushing attempts. Dariusz Golebiowski’s 2 INTs were the difference in this low-scoring affair. It is up to Checkmate to re-group offensively after their output dropped by 28 points from week 1 to week 2. As for No Regard, they’re now 2-0 and have their sights set on the Spartans.         

 

 

 By the Numbers

 

 

 

There is no way to introduce these numbers adequately. Except maybe to suggest a percent of you who will find them interesting.

 

 

 

What? 0’s a percent.

 

 

 

107/48: TD to INT ratio in week 2
133.4: Average passing yards for week 2. Week 1 was 117.8
4: Number of teams with a pick-6 (Crooklyn Dodgers, Love Cows, Mean Machine, and Marvels with 2)
11.5: average number of tackles per team. Consistent with last week (11.44). You guys are tackling machines. 
13: Number of teams without an interception against this week.
14.38: Percent of passing attempts resulting in a touchdown. Week 1 was 10.95
5: Number of teams with QB ratings over 130 (Affreux, La Sauce, Les Buddays, Lockdown, Mean Machine). Takers came close with 126.
3.4375: Average number of rushing attempts in week 2. Same average of rushing attempts in week 1. I did not make this up.

 

 

 

Power Rankings

 

 

 

If last year was any indication, the power rankings of the opening weeks looked nothing like the power rankings of the closing. That being said, enjoy scanning through these names. Don’t be too startled if you feel as though you should be on the list, but you aren’t. Maybe you’ll make your first appearance next week, or maybe I have a personal gripe against you.

 

 

 

1. Les Buddays (2-0): This team is young, fast, strong, and just plain good. A big mobile QB helps them even more.

 

2. Takers (2-0): These guys can score points. But it’s uncertain whether or not they’ve beaten anyone of quality yet.

 

3. Centurions (2-0): The veteran presence of former Falcons players is beneficial for this team.

 

4. Dark Knights (2-0): I played against Chris Rivest in a pre-season tournament. He’s got good decision-making and is a deceptively good runner.

 

5. No Regard (2-0): The only reason they’re 3rd in their division is because it’s the toughest one in all of Division 5.

 

6. Pendant Publishing (2-0): The additions of Maurice Menassa and Simon Tsalikis have helped immensely. Moe Khan on the sidelines can’t hurt either.   

 

7. Thunder (1-0-1): This team wants more from this season than last.  

 

8. Big Birds (2-0): Danny D’Amour leads the charge offensively for this unbeaten team.  

 

9. Flying Comics (2-0): Sebastien Ravary is Frank Grenier’s favorite target. If they continue to gel, this team may have found a permanent place on the Power Rankings.

 

10. Coyotes (1-0-1): The best rookie team out there, in my overconfident opinion.

 

 

 

There you have it. You have been immortalized. 

 

Predictions 

 

 

 

Sports journalists often indulge in a particular vice known as predicting. This is because usually people forget the ones you get wrong, and marvel over the ones you get right.

 

 

 

1. Warhawks vs. Mean Machine: The Warhawks’ experience will prove too much for Mean Machine to handle.

 

2. J’s vs. Love Cows: The J’s will take advantage (no, not like that) of a struggling Love Cow team.

 

3. Les Buddays vs. TCO: It’s going to take quite the effort to beat Les Buddays. TCO will not be the team to do it. Pick Les Buddays.

 

4. Venom vs. Flying Comics: Pick the Flying Comics to win this one. Better jerseys.

 

5. Spartans vs. No Regard: No Regard is hot after taking down Checkmate. They will win this game.

 

 

 

Rolling record: 0-0-0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please check in on The Goal Line Stand next week when one segment will be dedicated to a personal testimony from Division 4’s Simon Dagenais of the Dragons. Simon will be submitting short entries periodically to The Goal Line Stand recounting his and his team’s experience moving up to Division 4 from Division 5. I’ve already read some of his stuff and, word to the wise; he’s a master of suspense. So don’t read his entries if you have a weak heart, suffer from hot flashes, or are currently nursing.  

 

 

 

Warning for future weeks: if you see a disgruntled writer dragging a slothful camera crew around one of our many FPF venues, it’s not me. I’m highly motivated and my tech team is slightly lesser so. Help make our league better and volunteer for an interview. Remember, even Justin Bieber started out on YouTube.

 

 

 

In the meantime, please e-mail me at [email protected]. This league is about you and the articles should reflect that. I want your feedback – except if it’s critical.