The Goal-Line Stand (Div 5) – Week 13

This past Sunday was Easter.

 

I dread Easter. And not because it’s the one day a year people suddenly tolerate zombies or because there seems to be a concerted effort to boycott the FPF Facebook wall for the holiday. I dread it because I work so hard all year to avoid family members, but can’t seem to come up with an excuse for Easter – partly because FPF also takes the day off.

 

What kept me going this year were my grandparents. They’re at the age now where they’re young enough to do what is socially acceptable, but old enough not to know what things are actually socially acceptable. 

 

Like my grandmother when she claimed that the story of the Ten Commandments (why does The Ten Commandments play at Easter when it’s about the resurrection anyways?) was actually plagiarized from her diary as a girl, or my grandfather when he stuck a roman candle into a bundt cake to sing happy birthday to no one in particular.

 

That and one other thing kept a smile on my face: knowing that by this Saturday, I and the entire FPF community would get the chance to see two titans face on in what promises to be the best game of the entire season.

 

Both these teams earned their way here with a difficult – to say the least – playoff schedule and not to mention an intentionally treacherous regular season schedule as well. As if scripted by the FPF marketing team, both Les Buddays and La Sauce won their semi-final games by only two points. It’s the sophomore season in the league for both these teams, and both seem to be able to field an intimidating offense with a similarly smothering defense. Both have shown no weak spots (or they at least do an excellent job concealing them). And finally I truly believe both want to win this championship more than the Habs want to win the draft lottery pick.  

 

Let’s break this one down…

 

Les Buddays vs. La Sauce

April 14^th, 6:30, Brossard [1]

 

Team Profiles

 

Les Buddays – This team was a serious contender in the Winter of 2011 and are back with a vengeance. I would hate to be the ones standing in their way.

La Sauce – Lost to The Incredibles last season as UFF in the semi-finals (Only two players from UFF are on the La Sauce roster). This season they overcame their semi-final blues and now earn a spot in the finals.

 

Les Buddays – Their week 7 loss to La Sauce had to have rattled them, even if it’s just a little. However, we all know it’s hard to beat a great team twice in a row.

La Sauce – I’m not sure if week 7’s result gives them just enough confidence, or too much. Either way, we truly have the division’s two best teams here.

 

Les Buddays – Leandre Ethier is a beast. The end. He’s got 38 TDs, just 8 INTs, and has only been sacked twice! His big frame also gives him a great vantage point on the field and he’s a deceptively good runner for his height.

La Sauce – Francois Raymond would have been considered for the QB of the Year award had he played all 10 games – he was limited to just 7. Moreover, his running ability overshadows that of Ethier. He’s found the endzone 4 times on his feet this season.

 

Les Buddays – They allowed the second least amount of points and scored the second most amount of points throughout the regular season. This gives them the league’s best +/- at +189.

La Sauce – Only three defenses were better than them, giving up only 178 points all season long. Arguably, two of those three teams had easier schedules – leaving only Les Buddays as their true match.

 

Les Buddays – Even with an offense as potent as theirs, their bread and butter seems to be their defense. Even while watching them on film, I can’t figure out what kind of defense they play. They seem to adjust mid-play and everyone knows exactly what’s happening. I can’t even get my team to the right venues some times.

La Sauce – What sets these guys apart is their big-game ability. They’ve had a relatively tougher playoff schedule (Mean Machine, Coyotes, Mustangs) than Les Buddays have had (Lockdown, Affreux, Thunder). This could be a difference maker. They are tried, tested, and true.

 

Les Buddays – Weaknesses? Lol.

La Sauce – Their only weakness is that I keep accidentally calling them UFF on the WEPL.

 

Prediction:

 

One safe prediction is that I would try somehow to cram a historical reference into my article. So, in an attempt to predict the future, I decided to read the entrails of a slaughtered goat as did the ancient Etruscans of Rome. But since I could not get my hands on a goat and don’t like getting dirty, I broke open one of those giant Easter chocolate rabbits.

 

Chocolate shards, candied eyeballs, and a small toy went flying across the table. In the confusion I could vaguely make out the words “Les Buddays, 34-29, fait en chine”.

 

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Don’t forget to survey the site all week for when FPF releases the Winter 2012 Division 5 version of the Press Conference. My guests will be Philippe Trudel and Thierry Dolbec of La Sauce, and Shayne Turgeon and Marc-Antoine Bellini of Les Buddays.

 

With the same intentions as last week, and because of its great success, the press conference will be broadcast completely in French, and act as a complement to this article which was written completely in English. I apologize in advance for claiming that “I smell myself…” instead of saying “I get the feeling that…” In fact, can someone please e-mail me with the correct grammar in this case?

 

If you want to help me with my grammar, or have any questions for these four guys regarding their personal lives, don’t hesitate to send them to me at [email protected] so that I can make things as awkward as possible.  

 

Bon match!