Teams that Should Have Tanked!

October 17th has come and past.  Marijuana is now legally sold throughout the country and our lives remain relatively unchanged.  For the uninitiated, Marijuana was decriminalized for personal consumption and medical uses in the early 2000s.  for those who consumed Marijuana it has already been legal to do so for more than a decade.

What remained to be discussed was who would distribute it.  Whereas for years, organized crime has been the unique purveyor a fairly widely used drug the government has now decided that it should profit from it instead.  This is no different then ending prohibition at the end of the 1920’s in the United States.  For those who think prohibition worked at that time, it is interesting to note that it wwas referred to as “The Roaring Twenties”. Roaring has seldom been synonymous with quiet, sober evenings.  This led to a period of growth of influence and wealth for those trafficking in the black market.  Since then the market for illicitly produced alcohol has run dry.  This is the goal here.

For those worried for their children, I suggest you focus on parenting them and not to leave it in the hands of government regulations that change across invisible borders and through time.  Once again, remember that the bottle of scotch I’m currently drinking from was once illegal to sell.  In time, it will cease to be profitable for organized crime to sell marijuana and they will inevitably move on to the next item that can be profited from.  What this has done is put a level of control on a substance that has been difficult to control through prohibition.  In fact, for the dissenters, I ask what is the benefit of a country wide marijuana ban? It is highly consumed already and ding so eliminates the ability to control it.  I guess the concern is for Maximus, the small illegitimate businessman.

For those on the other hand who see this as the country being progressive, open-minded or caring about protecting the youth.  This is simply a cash grab.  It is another tax on your leisure.  If the figures are correct and the country stands to be 25 Billion dollars richer over the next decade, it stands to reason that that is a whole lot of money our future governments will steal form (no matter their pseudo political leanings).

Thank you everyone who took a moment to wish me a Happy Birthday.  I am trying to reach out to everyone to thank them individually.  If I haven’t gotten to you or have forgotten to address your message, text, or DM, know that your thoughts are appreciated and touching. 

Teams that Should Have Tanked!

So to be clear I’m not supporting tanking.  However, I wanted to take a moment to write up an article that addressed the teams who are likely to see their post season end early because they overachieved in the qualification round.

Tier 1

Keyport Lockstars (4-4): There isn’t any relegation for the top 6 teams.  However, the team that would have benefitted the most from moving down into the next bracket.  Since they’ve definitely out performed their expected level of play they now face an early post season exit.  Their week 1 win over Les Banlieusards means that they have the head to head tie breaker and with no one in reach of creating a three way tie Keyport Lockstars will need to face the best of the best on their way to a bowl championship.  I think their best chance would be to move Jeff Rosenblatt to snapper, Jad Aridi to slot receiver and Rod Mashtoub to QB.  We’ll see if they make any roster moves in the post season.

Lightweight (2-6): Lightweight simply wasn’t bad enough this season.  By winning 2 games this season they ward off relegation.  Interestingly, the team needs to look no further than the play of backup quarterback Cory Kennedy who replaced Simon Dagenais during his dalliances in Euorpe.  Paul De Pass has been the team’s best two way player all season long his 3 interceptions and 9 touchdowns on offense lead the team in both categories. Yet it has been the failings of more established names such as Justin Blanchard (only 12 catches) and Francois Hogue (only two sacks) that have been emblematic for the team struggling to find success.  However, their additional success found in the form of a second win puts them in position to lose in a tough post season bracket rather than move into one they would have dominated.

Tier 2

Diablos (7-1):  Francois Martin led the most talented team in the Tier to the best record and his reward is going to be a spanking.  As comical as it was to see him pad his number and choose himself as QB of the week whilst beating down on inferior competition, that will end in the next round.  The speed of Georges Elie Voyer, Gsabriel Wiseman and Marc-Andre Lapointe will be neutralized by teams that also have the ability to run with them.  Francois Martin does not have the patience to march downfield and will likely see a post season game where he forces one too many deep passes into coverage.  With one point wins over SWAT and Lockdown Diablos would have been better served to lose these games and continue to dominate teams with whom they shouldn’t have been paired with in the first place.

One Speed: Power (5-3): If you’ve read Francois Martin’s propaganda you would have noticed how this team would have had an easy path to a division 5 championship if they were entitled t play in that division.  This was after OSP failed to win a division 6 championship after a legendary playoff performance by then QB William Power (19 Tds: 1 Int).  The team also has a -23 +/- differential and despite having totaled 15 interceptions in the qualifying round the team’s aggressive style of defense seems to cause turnovers or allow long scores on quick drives.  The next round will feature quarterback who are less apt to making the mistakes required for this defense to shine and as such OSP may be prone to a post-season blow out.  William Power and Alex Noel have combined for 19 offensive touchdowns but a third option will need to arise in the knockout stage!

Mean Machine (2-5-1):  Daniel Goloff has struggled this season.  His 18 interceptions was worst in the division and the team has struggled because of it.  In the games that Goloff threw multiple interceptions he faced teams with higher division experience with either aggressive schemes or elite level athleticism.  Similarly, there defense seems to be the type that will only play well when they play against teams that are less athletic than they are.  Given that Mean Machine will qualify for a Tier 2 bracket they look to face many of the same defenses that caused them grief early in the season. The receiving trio of Jake Titleman, Justin Zipkin and Derek Sigler have posed problems for opposing offences but their inefficiency on both sides of the ball worries me.

Tier 3

X-Men (3-4): X-Men have been all over the map.  In some games they have looked great, yet in two occasions this season it had gotten so maddening it drove quarterback Guatama Swaminadham to league the game early.  The roster is small but the team is talented.  However, given their lack of consistency, looking over at the bench and seeing no one that can give a spark can be difficult to deal with.  However, given that they have had just enough success to fall into the middle of the pack and avoid relegation, I don’t see this as a team that will have much in the way of championship aspirations.  They may, but they would be lying to themselves.

Tier 4

Jean Guy (7-0-1): Through the course of the season Simon Dagenais has made 2 proclamations about Jean Guy this season.  So far, the first such proclamation has come true, they have finished the season undefeated.  He also predicted a bowl win for Jean Guy.  This is where I disagree with Simon. Jean Guy’s cup season has been a pleasant surprise and entirely unprecedented.  Jonathan Brule, Kien Pieton and Emile Lamy have each scored 7 or more touchdowns.  However, I fear this team does not have the firepower to compete with some of the more athletic teams in Tier 3.  As such Jean-Guy’s magical season will come to an end sooner than later.

Bruins (6-1)

The Bruins are much improved since their first foray into FPF.  Even if they lose their final game tonight they have already clinched the second seed in Tier 4 and will be promoted to faces the lower ranked Tier 3 teams.  Mathieu Ouimet has been a revelation and his 29:9 touchdown to interception ratio has the Bruins well positioned for success at first glance.  However, Ouimet has thrown 5 interceptions in his last two games.  I expect that he will see some greater challenges from far more experienced teams in the knockout stage of the cup tournament. 

Rants, Ramblings and Reflections

• Red Dead Redemption 2 at midnight…productivity gone once more.
• Lockdown’s inability to score on converts cost them two games this season. The team performed better than their record and are well positioned for the next round (more on this in the second installment of this series.
• In all the hype about Bruins and Jean Guy, we haven’t noticed Trojans going 6-2! Joey Potvin’s 6.8 yards per catch won’t catch anyone’s attention but his 29 catches are worth opposing teams monitoring.
• Not sure why Dallas is celebrating trading a first round pick for Amari Cooper. They could have had Josh Gordon for less.
• Nicholas Groppini the latest member of Unkown Talent who has become a little more familiar. He ended the season with a 5 catch, 119 yard and 3 touchdown performance against Supernovas)
• FreeVinny beat Keyport Lockstars in what I term as the biggest upset of the week. Ryan Aridi’s 1 receiving touchdown, 1 sakc and 1 int day was wasted on a horrendous loss.
• Cauliflower mash is better than expected.
• Voodoo beating SWAT is surprising for a number of reasons. The main surprise is Frank Kaye seemingly having no issues with Isiah Allard at the rusher position.
• I don’t see any upsets in the knockout stage for the top 6 teams.
• Hot Sauce Sports is coming soon…you’ll see!
• Bud Knights ended the season the way they started, with a strong defensive showing. Shawn Babin’s 2 interceptions propelled the team to a 26-8 win over Raw Sauce.
• EZW scored 317 points and led Tier 3 in that department. I don’t expect it to change in the post season. Jeremy White has had this offense performing better than anyone expected.
• Finally turned the heater function on my thermos-pump. Living here is stupid.

 

Thursday’s Tipsy Thermostat

 

This article is the first in a series.  Before the next stage starts I will have addressed all of the teams and their relative positioning. For further info on this division and the rest of the league feel free to tune into Calling the Audible where Terry Tam, the Eagle at Master Control and I will discuss the best time of year to go to Croatia, how to cheat at spelling bees and how Pluto got the shaft.

 

Tune in to the Facebook Live to join the show or to see us on You Tube or download us wherever you get your podcasts.  Good luck everyone!  Please feel free to reach me @peezefpf on twitter or @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook to let me know about the various ways in which I was wrong