Staring Down the Mid-Point and a Surprising Exeunt!

Whether you’re a “Glass Half Full” or a “Glass Half Empty” kind of person, the glass is half-something as we come up to Week 5 of our 10 Week season! Most teams have been able to tuck away at least 1 win so far, (Side-Eye to BEER BELLIES) and it will only get harder from here. HATEFUL EIGHT seem to have taken the “Shape up or Ship Out” strategy quite literally, and have unfortunately dropped out of the rest of the season. Fortunately, Division B already had 8 teams making the playoffs and the H8FUL8 were in the Elimination slot already, so…… the wheel continues to turn and playoffs will not be affected. Good bye HATEFUL 8, we appreciate your company while it lasted!

But how does this look during the regular season?: Any team that would have a game against the HATEFUL 8 (at least 1x for everyone) will be awarded an automatic win due to forfeit (60-0)! Despite these auto wins, FPF would still prefer that everyone get their money’s worth, and be able to play games when they are scheduled so that no one misses out on potential Stats. The league has reached out to various teams across Division A to see if they would be willing to fill in for the HATEFUL 8 games, and will default to Division C teams, if ever Div A teams are not available. This helps to keep our Division B teams fresh without missing games and also gives them a chance to test themselves against Division A teams. Which should be it! Stay tuned for which games will be replaced by which teams and we progress through the season! Teams affected this week are: EZW and SILENT TICKLERS. If you have not received any correspondence regarding your games this week, please reach out to FPF to confirm if they were able to replace your opponents!

A quick side note for all who are interested: Not only have tickets for DEADPOOL&WOLVERINE gone on sale, but we were just graced by a new Venom Trailer! What a time to be a comic fan (despite me not liking Sony right now…..)! Next week I will be breaking down which teams remind me of which Anti-Heroes/Villains, because let’s be real, none of us are heroes…. Go binge some movies and get ready for a nice Summer full of punches and quips!

Back to the FPF action, where Brothers are actually Cousins (*cough* *cough* my bad Drysdales….), and where if you’re good enough (and really… even if you’re not…), some random dude named Zack will write crazy stuff about you! Enjoy this week’s article!

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE:

What a game! Having been on the field next to BRUINS and ONESTOP, I can attest that it was a great and close game! After a penalty on one of the last plays of the game, Rocco Christiano was able to throw it up to the back of the endzone and pray that one of his teammates came down with it. Luckily, Marvin Steinberg answered Rocco’s prayers, came down with the big TD at the last second, and shattered ONESTOP’s dream of continuing undefeated! ONESTOP definitely stepped up to the task and almost took down one of the top teams! They may be more dangerous than I initially anticipated, thankfully I only play them in Week 8, so have the time to scout them out! Charles Cossette had a performance of a lifetime and it was almost enough to give his the win, but alas, fate had other plans. The end of the season looks a bit easier for ONESTOP, but having the gauntlet of BRUINS, HEAVENLY SONS, and EZW up next, will really test them against some of the best the division has to offer!

Every team that has played at least 3 games has scored at least 100 points on offence except our good friends: BEER BELLY BRIGADE. But it isn’t for lack of trying! They almost had a win over HEAVENLY SONS, lost by 7 to BRUINS, but then struggled against both KISS MY INLAWS and EZW, barely putting up 4 TDs. Alexandre Fafard has done a great job of only giving up 2 INTs and has done an amazing job at making plays on the ground! Not only does Alexandre have the most Rushing attempts, but he also has the most Rushing Yards – 163! – and is also tied at 1 Rushing TD. Nick Curotte is the team’s #1 target, but they will need to find a way to spread the ball if they want to find success. Olivier Claveau has done a good job at picking up the rest of the TDs and being another great receiver, but if they aren’t able to find success within the rest of their team, they will have trouble standing up to the harder defences of ONESTOP and KISS MY INLAWS. I think this upcoming game against THE INFANTRY will be incredibly important because they now get a free win against HATEFUL 8, and should be able to steal a win from SILENT TICKLERS! If BBB want a chance at 3-4 wins this season, they will need to pull out all the stops against the INFANTRY, who are looking to get back on their winning horse, after a close loss to HEAVENLY SONS! My pick of GAME OF THE WEEK – see a bigger breakdown below.

Speaking of BRUINS before, the clash of KISS MY INLAWS and BRUINS was a fun filled heart breaker (at least I had fun!). The weather was miserable and definitely led to some absences and dropped balls, but those of us who made it out were able to make the best of it. BRUINS started off the night missing what looked to be half of their team – No Rocco, No Gab Champagne, No Marvin, and more! Luckily, they picked up a couple of studs and were able to field enough players, with Gabe Wiseman picking it up at QB. Gabe is no stranger to the QB position, having played in pretty much every division, but as one of his first forays as QB in Division B, the environment was less than kind. The INLAWS had gathered the entire family to ensure the win this week and did not take the foot of the gas until the end. The rain made it difficult to both throw and catch accurately, which resulted in too many turnovers for the BRUINS to catch up. Despite this, Gabe was able to make a fool of me as I slipped around on the floor trying to get his flags, and didn’t allow a single sack! When all is said and done, both teams know that this was not a fair representation of the BRUINS and the next game will be much different… but the INLAWS will definitely take the win anyway we can! A lesson for teams to be ready come rain or shine!

I have to ask: WHAT IS FITZGERALD CENATUS EATING!? I was gonna give a shout out to top QB Jeremy White, but the DIME AND BOUGIE superstar has made his way into Division 2 and is tearing it up! Not only does he have the most tackles (21), and the most INTs (4), but he also has the most PDs (5)….. All in 5 games! Arguably, other players have a chance to catch up to some of these stats since some teams have only 3-4 games played, but if he continues this trend, I don’t think it will be enough to overtake him as #1 Defensive player. A solid performance for an EZW player whose team is already relying on him on offence too! I’m Keeping a tab on him to see who will pass him by the end of the season.

TEAM SPOTLIGHT

KISS MY INLAWS:

I try not to hype up my own team in articles too much, but this is the special place where I’m SUPPOSED to do that, so let’s get started! I’m not gonna trace back all the versions of KISS MY teams. There have been INLAWS and OUTLAWS and ENDZONES and CHRISTMAS BALLS, and a bunch of other random play on words, but I believe this version of KISS MY INLAWS was brought into conception in Winter 2023 in DIv 4. In their first foray together, the INLAWS not only went undefeated in the regular season, but also won the Championship game vs DIME AND BOUGIE! They then went on to do it again in the Tier 2 Fall Cup against DIRTY BIRDS. After an early playoff elimination last season at the hands of BEER BELLY BRIGADE, the INLAWS are back for another season of inter-family dynamics!

Honestly, I don’t know where to start with all of these studs on my team, so I guess I’ll start with our fearless leader: Iggy Manzanedo. Iggy “Magnets” (his moniker before taking up QB) was known for his sure hands as a receiver, but changed the game when he began throwing seriously for KISS MY ENDZONE in 2022. Iggy is now an 8-Time Champion and 6-Time All-Star player who has increased exponentially in his 2 years at QB. For this iteration of the INILAWS, it looks like the scouts went for key Championship calibre players: Alexi Dubois almost has Iggy’s exact awards as well, David De Andradeis going for a Hat Trick and looking to get 3 of everything, and Vincent Benjamin rounds the team out as the biggest unassuming 2-Way threat (6 All-Star and 2 Championships)! Offensively, we are stacked with the current #1 offensive player – Jerome Hovington. Jerome has been a staple in a number of KISS MY teams and started at about the same time as Brady Ohanessian. Brady and Jerome came into the league in 2023 and have made a giant splash since. And that’s all without mentioning Charles Verreault, and Sanders Armand!

Alexis Dubois is our Defensive point and has been the Defensive play caller in a number of his Championship/Bowl games and is a great tackler that puts his body on the line. This is where I find Sanders and Manu Allard shine – on our defence! Both of these All-Star Champs have made big impacts with their turnovers and key plays, while also picking up any slack on Offence. Although I do appreciate our Offensive unit, adding me, myself, and I, to the team as Rusher ties everything together nicely. I’ve been recently choking on a game or two, but having just passed 400 All-Time Sacks, I’m confident in our defences ability to force turnovers whether due to QB pressure or great coverage! All this to say, the INLAWS are currently the only undefeated team, and we plan on keeping it that way! However, some big games are coming up and with the rusher’s recent dry spell, it may be the crack in the armour some teams are looking for in order to keep up!

Prediction: 8-2

DEATH BATTLE BREAKDOWN:

THE INFANTRY vs BEER BELLY BRIGADE

I feel like this is a big one! Having played against the INFANTRY in Week 2 I know they are a good team! When I played them, Zack Stacey was at QB and was being a slippery devil; having surrounded himself with quality athletes like Nicholas Di Maulo, Ethan Adrian, and Julian McLaren-Thompson. INFANTRY had been marching down the season – winning a close game against the TICKLERS in Week 1, and getting a free win in Week 2 – but ran up against INLAWS in Week 3 and stopped short. Since then, the INFANTRY have been under fire in the trenches and have lost their last 2 games. During this time, Zack Stacey has been absent, which left Tyler Stewart and Jeanslee Alexis to try and rekindle the flame! Unfortunately, it was not enough. I expected HEAVENLY SONS to beat the INFANTRY last week, but when I heard INFANTRY had brought in Jeanslee Alexis (the hardest i’ve ever had to Rush yet…) for that game, I thought the SONS had met their match! Going against a team that is currently 0-4, should be a game that they win, but not one that they can afford to take lightly! BEER BELLIES have struggled to score more than 24 points per game, so if Julian or Ethan are rushing, Alexandre Fafard is looking at one of the harder games he will play! The pressure should give both Nic and Tyler a chance to make some turnovers on defence.

On the flip side, B³ (BEER BELLY BRIGADE) should be coming at this game with 200% intensity! They are the underdog going into this match, and despite Alexandre Fafard’s 15 TDs and keeping turnovers to a minimum, his 10 sacks in 4 games leaves me nervous at how he will handle 2 of the best up and coming rushers (Julian McLaren-Thompson just broke into the Top 15 All-Time, and Ethan is close behind). The difference between BBB and the INFANTRY is that I believe the BRIGADE have had a harder schedule so far this season. BBB has arguably already played the top 4 teams of the division, and lost to most of them, while INFANTRY have gone through the middle to lower of the pack. This could mean very little, but I suspect it might be giving the INFANTRY a sense of confidence that they should be wary of! BBB has an assortment of players, some I know and some I don’t, but they are not new to the league. They seemed to have popped up in Div 4 about 1 or so ago and have had some decent success, going 5-5 most seasons! Their roster has stayed pretty consistent, which should be a big help going against an experienced INFANTRY team. Offensively, they will need to push themselves to score 4-5 this week, instead of 3-4, and will need to figure out ways to use more of their players than just Nicolas Curotte! I mean, 6 TDs and 250+ Yards is super impressive, but when you have yet to win, you may need to figure out some plays to get more space for your players. Defensively is where I really worry for the BELLIES. They have been close to winning games, but currently have some of the most points allowed in the Division… It sounds bleak, but also on paper I would give INFANTRY the advantage… HOWEVER!! Just like Phil Collins, I can feel it… calling in the air tonight… the Winds of Change! Against my instincts, I think the BRIGADE are getting their first win this week!

PREDICTION: INFANTRY 27 – 28 BEER BELLY BRIGADE

ZACK’S FANTASY TEAM OF THE WEEK (WEEK 4):

QB (1): Benjamin McMahon (HEAVENLY SONS) – 31 Attempts / 26 Completions (71.43%), 176 Yards, 7 TDs, 0 INTs, 1 Sack // 3 Rushing Attempts, 29 Yards

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WR (1): Marc-André Lapointe (THE INFANTRY) – 8 Targets / 8 Receptions (100%), 119 Yards, 3 TDs

WR (2): Anthony Drysdale (HEAVENLY SONS) – 11 Targets / 7 Receptions (63.64%), 60 Yards, 4 TDs

WR (3): Jerome Hovington (KISS MY INLAWS) – 4 Targets / 4 Receptions (100%), 89 Yards, 3 TDs

WR (4): Charles Cossette (ONESTOP) – 8 Targets / 8 Receptions (100%), 108 Yards, 1 TDs

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DB (1): Nelson Pereira (BRUINS) – 1 Tackles, 2 INTs, 1 TD

DB (2): Mike Pierrecin (BRUINS) – 7 Tackles, 1 INT

DB (3): Sanders Armand (KISS MY INLAWS) – 6 Tackles, 1 INT

DB (4): Manu Allard-Roy (KISS MY INLAWS) – 0 Tackles, 2 INTs

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RUSHER (1): Kevin Donnet (HEAVENLY SONS) – 1 Tackle, 2 Sacks

GAMES OF THE WEEK:

THE INFANTRY vs BEER BELLY BRIGADE

EZW vs HATEFUL EIGHT

SILENT TICKLERS vs HATEFUL EIGHT

HEAVENLY SONS vs KISS MY INLAWS

ONESTOP vs BRUINS

Prediction Record: 5-2 (Extra Star for me for Predicting a Perfect Week last week)

4 weeks down and 6 to go! The intensity continues this Week 5, which starts Sunday, and we finally get a bit of a breather in Week 6 with only 3 games scheduled. With 50% of the season almost behind us, make sure your players are getting the necessary 5 games to be eligible for playoffs! If there are upcoming milestones you want me to cover, don’t be a stranger, let me know! If you want to see more accurate info about your teams, your players, your rivalries/history – send them to me! Also, check out the new episode of Calling the Audible – the official FPF podcast – available on Youtube and …. Probably somewhere else too. And always keep a look out at FPF’s Official Instagram page for updates and exclusive content!