Questioned Leadership, Edibles and The Blonde Haired Menace

Peeze’s Playbook

By Paolo Della Rocca

Week 2

For 10 glorious days each summer my lilac trees are in bloom and it makes all the work surrounding pruning them to be entirely worthwhile. The violet and white colored flowers fill my yard and (once I cut some) fill my home with a stunning splash of color and beautiful aromas.

Believe it or not, this had me contemplating the FPF season. The joys of victory have a nice soothing effect for days to come after the game has ended. You can’t help yourself but smile more and enjoy life just a tad more. However, just as in the case of the lilacs, that feeling can fade fast. The season can turn with a couple of poorly played games and an unfortunate loss here or there. This part of the season is the part that teams will look at as the turning point or remember “when the season was going well”. Stay focused friends, the season is both longer and shorter than it appears.

Endzone Location Still TBD

Dude Where’s The End Zone is a team name that was surely apt this week. Take it from a developing quarterback who has had his share of troubles in his career, not scoring a single touchdown in an entire game is a dubious feat like no other. It’s not easy to do. That said, Stef Fennes outdid himself. The Vultures defense was pressing and as quickly as Fennes was trying to get rid of the ball, they were there to disrupt the timing and in many cases dismantle any semblance of offense. In a game where Stef Fennes completed only 6 passes, he also threw 3 interceptions (to the Vultures Owen Bujarsky, Andel-Thomas Gordon and Gary MacMahon). However, I will say in this game the DWTEZ qb did not get any help.

The presumed leader of the team FPF veteran Kevin St.Pierre complained heavily after cleanly dropping a pass in the middle of the field on a perfectly delivered pass on a drag route. This came shortly after he dropped a pass on a comeback pattern on fourth down. Riley Pincombe dropped a toss on a reverse play and mistimed a would-be interception (and possible pick-6) late in the game that could have tied the game. Instead it was a catch in the open field where Owen Bujarsky who would cut up the remaining defenders for his second touchdown of the game. Finally, late in the game, there appeared to be some miscommunication between Michael Timmins and Stef Fennes as the ball was thrown to where no man was standing other than Gary McMahon who returned the touchdown for a pick-six for the Vultures.

The Vultures did not play a flawless game in their own right. Bryan Harwood was intercepted twice and one of which was returned for the sole DWTEZ touchdown in this game. After Chris Brockwell scored on his tremendous defensive error, the Vultures stopped the convert but then took the field only to have the ball immediately snapped over Bryan Harwood’s head. The ball rolled through the back of the end zone like a lonely tumbleweed in a clichéd western. For now, the Vultures were good enough to add one in the W column with a 19-8 win over Dude, Where’s The End Zone? They will need to tidy things up if they’d like this success to continue.

Squid Fest

For those who are as obsessed with eating crustaceans as I am, you’ll know that for many of us it is time that we begin to enjoy lobster season. However, for the Bruins in week 2, it was time to feast on Kraken. Krakens looked about as bad as they have since their inaugural game in Division 6. Whether it was a ball snapped high before being tipped up and into their own end zone by Daniel Santos for a safety. Whether it was Daniel Santos Viera or Massil Messaoud-Nacer at quarterback Bruins rusher Antoine Huynh was in their faces as he recorded 2 sacks and a pass defended.

First time FPF QB and Bruins replacement signal caller (while Gab Wiseman rehabs his injury in Europe) Mathias Oucmut was stellar. The balls weren’t always pretty but they tended to get to their desired target more often than not. It seemed incredulous to me but Krakens were unable to defend anything deep thrown to Zach Zwirn or Alexandre St-Arnaud who made quick work of the Krakens defense. In fact the only positive note for Krakens was the pass rushing of Helder Sanots Vieria who sacked Mathias Oucmut twice in a 44-7 beating at the hands of the Bruins.

Claiming Pension but Still Putting in That Werk

As expected, Pension Plan being allowed to remain in DivE means that the team would be dominant in the division. Vince Pisano has his team humming early and Anthony Siggia has the defense playing at a high level. Steven Di Pietro had the game’s only interception but throws were rushed, recievers were pinned down and Pension Plan was able to play at their pace in week 2.

Green Means GO added Sean “Murderface” Mudrosky to quarterback the team shortly before the season started. He is learning what many who have not played in a while have started to experience. Even in Div E, there is a lot of talent on the field (perhaps more than ever before). Mudrosky was held to only 89 yards passing and it appears as though only Brian Martin and Yarim Yasmine were able to keep they caught 61.5% of the completed passes for Green Means GO! This team is stacked with veterans can’t be happy that they’re averaging a mere 1.5 points per half and have thrown only two less interceptions than they have points. They avoided a shutout in week 1 but Green Means Go would not be so lucky in week 2 as they would go on to lose 32-0 against Pension Plan.

Underdogs Starting to Look Like Favorites

Underdogs took a week 1 victory against a first time quarterback Will Power. They had a chance to prove their dominance against a somewhat maligned offense in Degenosaurus Rex. Brett Rosenberg did not learn his lesson as the Underdogs quarterback as he threw three interceptions to Degenosaurus Rex’s best player (Kyle Monat). Underdogs has the advantage in the second half and almost saw it slip away as on the second to last play Sean Martin hit Massimo Cannucci for a touchdown. However after a brief celebration, Degenosaurus Rex had the life sucked out of them as they looked across the field and collectively noticed a referee’s penalty flag lying on the field. The touchdown was called back for interference on the rusher.

Underdogs are a solid team who have yet to truly be tested. It ids notable that Adam Smolar wasn’t at this game. However, I do believe they have enough talent that we should be expecting some success soon. They don’t adapt particularly well on defense and they will need to communicate better as they will play better quarterbacks moving forward. Week three has them pitted against Joshua Vasquez and his Los Avocados. This will be a true litmus test. Sean Yoffe scored a touchdown and recorded an interception in a low scoring affair. In this game it would be enough as the Underdogs beat Degenosaurus Rex by a score of 13-6.

One Speed: Victory

By Alex Holowach

The seasoned One Speed: Power took on the rookie Zone 6 Ballers on Wednesday night at the gorgeous Complex Sportif de Saint-Laurent. Z6B started with the ball and impressed with their organization and quick pace. Jeansley Valbonard controlled the huddle with poise and had his receivers flying in and out of their sets. The efficiency transitioned to their play in the early part of the game, as they were successful in carving up the OSP zone with an array of hooks and slants. They capped off the initial drive with a TD to Alessandro Barazzoni, the first of his two on the night, and looked to overwhelm their larger opponents with brute speed.

Led by Will Power, the OSP offense took the field looking to respond. His nimble footwork and deft touch passing would eventually break through the opposition’s defense, but not on the opening drive. An errant check down on the second pass of the game was intercepted in OSP territory, setting up Z6B in a fortuitous position to jump out to an early 2 score lead. Power quickly shook off his mistake from the opening drive and started marching. His target of choice on the night was Alex Noel the ringer, whose call-up played an instrumental part in the game, to the tune of 105 yards receiving. With the first stop under their belt, Alex D’Aquila’s OSP defense made the appropriate adjustments and started suffocating their opponent. It was apparent that Z6B still have some work to do on routes beyond the 5-7 yard range, a flaw that the Eagle astutely picked up on and began exploiting. By crowding the line of scrimmage with a flying Joseph James and forcing Valbonard to challenge them over the top, OSP lured their opponent right into their web. Power easily picked off 2 more lazy deep balls throughout the game, leading to the onslaught.

With his defense behind him, Power started cooking on O. A rejuvenated Paolo Della Rocca worked the slot with a combination of crossing routes and quick outs, carrying his offense downfield before gracefully toe-tapping the left endzone in close quarters for the critical score. OSP secured their 1st win with a 42-19 trouncing over their raw opponent. Still, the boys from Zone 6 showed glimpses of promise for the season ahead.

Reflections, Rants and Ravings

Ben Roethlisberger being upset that the Steelers didn’t ask for his CONSENT prior to drafting a quarterback is an interesting twist.
I remember Jo Lemieux being a very good division 5 quarterback. He’s gotta shake the cobwebs out or something cause he has looked awful so far in this division E campaign.
Sanbaggers didn’t show up for their week 2 game. Moooooooooooo!!! Very disappointed to see a forfeit this early in the season.
Are folks still thinking that the NBA finals won’t feature Lebron and the Warriors? Sports does weird things to our brains.
The Toronto policeman who consumed a marijuana edible and was later found in a tree after abandoning his partner (who was under the influence) showed that he misunderstood how one gets high.
Alexandre St-Arnaud is not a name we’re aware of just yet but you can’t watch the Bruins and not be impressed by him.
Patrick St-Amand, there is an asterisk attached to your stat-line this season. I hope you give the QBOY trophy to it’s rightful owner at the end of the season.
The NFL is set to fine players if they do not stand for the national anthem. This is an interesting determination to honor a song that ends with the lyric “the land of the FREE and the home of the brave”.
Jared Buck getting extra possessions for himself with 3 ints on defense. Alright Jared, I see you, you blonde haired menace.
Rancerz defense looks legit. If you can surprise FPF veteran Mat Domon with your defensive schemes and talent, you’re definitely worth the cost of admission. That said, the cost is zero but man, they are worth the free ticket.
Kyle Monnat get a jersey. I expect you to have a great season but no one will ever know if you don’t have your stats recorded.
The Young Turks not realizing that their name may be offensive as they share a name with Armenian Genocide deniers is as if the creators of the show Archer insisted that they keep the name ISIS as the name of their secret agency. Now if only we could rewrite the history books that told the tale of Ra and Isis.
Francois Martin takes a back seat to me each weak as a less popular FPF journalist. He took a back seat to me in Division D as my supply and Command beat his Diablos. Frank, I hope you were wearing a seatbelt for that car-wreck.
Oakheart and Green Means GO share the distinction of scoring a league low 6 points in two weeks. Here’s hoping they turn it around.
Too anyone who didn’t appreciate Zlatan’s visit to Montreal, you don’t deserve to live in his world.
Amateurs des Sacks jersey declare that they love “big sacks”. I lolled…in my office, alone….truly out loud. Thank you for that.
Not sure if Average Joe’s are good just yet. They’ve faced two new teams. Let’s hope Sandbaggers actually show up to their week 3 game and we get a glimpse at each of these teams.
Zone 6 Ballers, make sure everyone on your team is wearing cleats. You can’t defend if you look like you’re on skates.
Tyler Grondin of Tropic Thunder…throw the ball bro. Nine sacks allowed in two games is insane.
Congrats to Meghan Markle for marrying into the royal family. Way to buy time to allow Mike Ross and Harvey Specter time to take them down!

Last week in Review

In last week’s podcast we discussed some of the top teams in Division E2. Los Avocados and Guardians were largely the focal point. I have been critical of Guardians but they have in fact followed all the rules as stipulated by FPF regarding the cap and team registration. In any case, here’s a glimpse at our conversation:

Power Rankings

Guardians* (2-0)-Etienne Vaillancourt 3 catches and 105 yards is a huge game. It’s a shame the stats won’t count in a season marred by controversy.
Pension Plan (2-0)- Vince Pisano has really developed into one of the best quarterbacks. His understanding of how to pace games and choke teams out is worthy of praise as the top quarterback in the division.
Los Banditos (2-0)- Felix Proulx turning his back on the team pick shows his focus is the number on his back and not the name on his chest. However week three will pit LB against Pension Plan and we will have false definitive proof about who we think is better in a measurement that is invented for content and not at all scientifically rigorous.
Los Avocados (2-0)- Joshua Vazquez has 9 touchdowns and 107.1 QBr. If FPF had a most improved player award he would be the front runner.
GloGang (2-0)- They’ve won two games without their entire offense being installed. It has looked out of synch but when it all comes together I expect GloGang to run amok. By this I mean the colloquial definition and not the far more serious syndrome listed n the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Rancerz (2-0)- So this ranking may solely reflect their defense. However, their defense looks like they may just be good enough on one side of the ball to dominate the division.
The U (2-0)- Fine, I’ll be an early adopter. They have allowed two touchdowns in each of their two games. This is definitely a showing of strength.
Fighting Flamingos (0-2)-I gotta believe it’ll turn around now. If it doesn’t Brad Evans is clearly a cheater trying to tank his way into the E2 playoffs. Sorry, that lacked journalistic integrity. He would be displaying the behavior of a cheater trying to tank his way into the div E2 playoffs.
Loyola’s Finest (2-0)- David Lombardi has turned 3 of his 7 catches into touchdowns. It’s time to start paying attention to one of Div E’s Finest.
ORSA (1-1)- They made the power rankings after a tight loss in week 1. They can’t be punished for a forfeit win.
Number Juan (2-0)- Once exclusively a rusher in FPF David Di Paoloa has become a better receiver in each season he’s played. His two touchdowns are halfway to his season high.
Clinkers (2-0)- I’m a little worried after having watched their only touchdown of the second half being scored by Luis Begin on an interception. Marc-Andre Desaulniers needs to focus for “four quarters”.
One Speed Power (1-1): If Will Power can put up numbers like this every week, this defense with 7 interceptions thus far will demolish offences.
Ducks (1-1): They got blown out in week 2but I do not want to over react to an early season loss. It’s important to keep in mind that this was Alexandre Croteau’s first full FPF game at quarterback. Let’s hope the 4 interceptions were the wakeup call he was looking for.
Average Joe’s (2-0): As I mentioned above, their schedule has bene light so far. Let’s see how well they do moving forward.
Bulldogs (1-1)- Week 1 does not a season make. Or something like that. They lost in week 1 to Guardians but looked great in their 46-6 win over the Brewers. We’ll see if they are more prepared to face a top tier team in week 4 when they face Los Avocados.

Marc-Andre’s Power Rankings

Pension Plan : Une équipe sans faille, la définition même d’excellence!
GloGang : Malgré leur victoire à l’arraché, il recule d’un rang dû à leur manque de constance en offensive. La défensive ne pourra pas tout le temps les sauver.
The U : Une équipe très physique et très bien balancée des deux côtés du ballon.
Guardians : La meilleure offensive jusqu’à présent.
Los Banditos : Deux victoires face à deux très bonnes équipes, LB jouent du football inspiré.
Rancerz : Leur défensive à donner des maux de tête toute la soirée aux Ducks.
Loyola’s Finest : Lentement, mais sûrement ils sont en train de s’imposer comme une puissance dans la division.
Los Avocados : Igor Hubin a connu une partie inspirée face à Savages.
Vultures : Owen Bujarsky a élevé son jeu d’un cran dans la victoire des siens, quel athlète!
Underdogs : Jonah Eisenberg était partout sur le terrain des deux côtés du ballon.
EZW : Leur attaque va être phénoménale lorsque leur cohésion offensive sera bien rodée.
One Speed :Power : Ils font leur début dans ce classement grâce à une victoire éclatante face à Zone 6 Ballers.
A-Side : Le talent et l’expérience sont au rendez-vous, mais il est temps de jouer la pédale au plancher, vous pouvez tout dominer.
Bulldogs : La semaine 4 va être un test fort intéressant pour juger de leur progression.
XD : Belle victoire face à nos champions en titre.
Ducks : Une erreur de parcours ou une mauvaise évaluation de leur potentiel ? Réponse cette semaine face au puissant GloGang.

Friday’s Financial Fiesta

Picture week is done and whether you were mean mugging or showing those pearly whites, I hope you all took the opportunity to look your best.

For further info on this division and the rest of the league feel free to tune into Calling the Audible where Moe Khan, Simon Dagenais, Eagle at Master Control and GM Koletheras will discuss topics such as PETA’s hypocrisy, which type of Lynx is the sexiest and whether or not shoe raincoats are stupid. Tune in to the Facebook page for more info about the podcast. Please feel free to reach me @peezefpf on twitter or @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook to let me know about the various ways in which I was wrong.