Politics, Watermelon Rolls and Nic Cage Avenges a Pig-napping

Peeze’s Playbook Week 5

We live in a troubling time. We live in a time where ideologies have seldom been more divisive and matters of science, education, safety and equality have become politicized and weaponized in a way I never thought I’d see in my lifetime.

Perhaps the issue is brand loyalty. I can be as guilty of this as anyone else. I wear predominantly Nike/Jordan shoes, I only wear Lacoste polos, only eat Oikos Greek Yogurt and only throw a Wilson F2000. Additionally, put Nicholas Cage in a movie and you’ll reel me in every time even if you promise that he is an intergenerational JiuJitsu master not making it up). However there are certain issues that have been bizarrely linked to political agenda and I don’t understand why. I remember hearing former NBA player and lifetime holder of the Order of the British Empire John Amaechi talk about how “if a mask can become a political weapon then anything can be”.

Prior to the days where I could make my own decisions, I was vaccinated against a variety of diseases that no longer plague humanity because of said inoculations. At no point in my life did I ever consider that to be a matter of political alignment. These were matters of science, health and security. When doctors urged my family to get me vaccinated, it was never considered what specific political factions felt about these issues.

When I was brought up in a Polio free environment, I was taught to treat people with respect. I was taught of the dangers of ignorance, racism, and how treating people without a sense of humanity would always be my failing, not theirs. People’s personalities, what they had to say, their moralities felt far more important to me than the colour of their skin, the plot of land they were arbitrarily born on (or their relatives some generations ago) or their sexual orientation. However, when we see a man sworn to uphold justice murder a man over the course of 9 minutes and 29 seconds (the criminal courts concurred with what I witnessed with my own eyes), osme will insist that I saw something because of my political leanings,

Secretly, that makes me laugh. It’s a deep bellowing laugh that stirs me to my core. Firstly, the reason for this is that I don’t have political leanings. Nothing in the world is less interesting to me than politics. I think politicians are hacks, who serve no one but themselves and the private interests that secures their position and their pensions. Furthermore, what interests me a great deal are people. To me, discussions of health, safety, science, education, race, sexual orientation is not a matter of political spectrum reduced to two pathetic examples of diarrhetic grandstanding by humans who I respect less than the nonsense they spew to earn a few votes.

However, this is where we find ourselves. CNN and Fox news (as well as all sorts of media outlets on youtube, twitter and the like) masquerade as news in an era of access to information and misinformation. People continue to make decisions that harm themselves because they are loyal to a brand that cares little for them. Whether it’s convincing you that fire tornadoes and rampant flooding are independent occurrences or that their leaders are not funneling funds to their wealthy supporters it’s important to remember that they care as little about you as the company that designed my AJ1s. Do your own research (properly), do not take anything at face value, remember that we coexist together and don’t be an asshole. The only time you should do something without thinking is when Nicholas Cage releases a movie where he has to avenge and save his pig. Seriously, it’s Taken but with Nic Cage and a Pig. How am I supposed to NOT watch that.

Musings, Ramblings, Lies and Other Assortments

Space Jam: A New Legacy was alright. Most of the criticisms that are being made about it can be levied against the original as well as any other kid’s movie. If a kid’s movie can make you THAT mad, you need therapy.
Save the Turftles Vincent Cheung has 6 receiving touchdowns and 4 interceptions. He appears to be closing in on the two-way player of the year.
Cheering against the American Women’s soccer team or men’s basketball team makes you Un-American, not them. Also, if you have a beef with Simone Biles try being as good as she is at anything before you think you understand her situation.
Andrew Dennis Lynch was a wrecking ball for Meance II Sobriety. His 7 catches, 98 yards and 3 touchdowns was a herculean effort in a losing effort.
Another week, another forfeit. I know that Les Mythiques had conflicts and injuries… I also don’t care. Find someone, anyone and NEVER forfeit.
For those who don’t know, you can post on our FPF Facebook page if you need subs. Like I keep saying, there’s never an excuse for a forfeit. I’ve played 410 games in FPF and forfeited 0.
Quantrium FFC put up a decent fight against Ravens. Vinent Benjamin needs to start developing a playbook that better suits his skills. 19 Completions over two games is simply too low to be competitive.
Next week will be my midseason report. It’s a grueling exercise but by the time it’s done, it ends up being a lot of fun and something that is genuinely enjoyable as I cover every team, their progress and their expectations.
This week didn’t have a ton of upsets but a lot of non-spectacular performances by some of the division’s best.
Incredible Thought: If you sing the lyrics “Aren’t you afraid of neighbors?” to the tune of the famed song by Mr. Rodgers, it becomes vaguely threatening.
Pincellos Mike Apa is collecting flags like some disturbed history buff.
Hey so is now the time we start talking about the tapes discovered in Jeffey Epstein’s Manhattan home?

Memories, Hallucinations and Observations

Chronicles of Rohan

Imagine being given the keys to the Benz and…wait scrap that… the keys to the mf rocketship. I mean a legit rocketship too. I don’t mean Jeff Bezos’ phallic vessel that left us all asking “just the tip”? I mean a certified rocketship that you’d see in a science fiction film. That’s how impactful The Fast and the Furious franchise has been to cinema. Now imagine deciding not to take a second ride in that rocketship so you could film The Chronicles of Riddick. Luckily Vin Deisel eventually came to his senses.

Eventually, things do tend to work out for the best. Eventually, teams win their first FPF game. Les Chevaliers du Rohan have grown a ton in their first four games of their FPF lives. In week one they didn’t know that there wasn’t a mechanism by which to settle or a field goal. Now, they leave week 5 victorious. They did so against the Melons who, Moe Khan and I were quick to praise after seeing their Friendly’s Watermelon Roll themed jerseys and youthful exuberance take the stage.

The game started as a tightly contested affair. Each team fought for every inch and we saw three straight drives end after 4th down conversions were not executed. Eventually William Mendelson of the Melons would make the first big play of the game as he knocked down a pass on 4th down. CD Rohan would respond in kind 5 plays later when Gabriel Spazuk would intercept a pass thrown by Matthew Goldenberg. This was the turning point as it would lead to a 19 yard touchdown from Kevin Hebert-Pedulla to Antoine Bonin. A pair of second half touchdowns the first of which caught by Frank Cardinal and the second by Samuel Charlebois-Leduc would secure the 25-12 win over the Melons.

It’s Getting Greasy Ricky

Sometimes even the best laid plans result in a driveway made of hash. This is the boat that the Trailer Park Boys find themselves in. I don’t want to over react to this game because Mathieu Gascon was at quarterback in place of the experienced Antoine Meunier. Gascon struggled mightily. He turned the ball over 3 times but it appeared that he often wasn’t putting himself in the best position by only converting 40% on third down and he didn’t convert on his only 4th down attempt. The Trailer Park Boys first 4 drives ended as follows:

An interception by Jason Cassandra
An interception by the doubly named Marc De Marco
End of the half after a 14 yard reception by Frederic Meunier
An interception by opposing quarterback Jonathan Velasco

Velasco on the other hand was solid throughout this game. His first drive ended with a 22 yard touchdown strike to Adam D’Avino. This would be the first of 4 touchdowns and V-Town would come out to a 20-0 lead at half and never look back. The most efficient player for V-Town has to be Gianni Caruso who, despite catching only half of his targets, would turn his three catches into 9 yards and 2 touchdowns. V-Town would beat the backup quarterback of the Trailer Park Boys by a score of 26-6 but lest you think the issue was all quarterbacking let’s look back at last week’s GOTW between The Trailer Park Boys and Rainmakers:

Famous Among Friends

After surprising Oreos last week, I needed to see Blast From the Past myself. In all honesty, I was kind of let down. Frank Grenier can definitely still sling the ball. He easily throws the tightest spiral in all of Div E. However, his playcalling felt very FPF circa 2012 and his reads seem to take him half a second too long. A clear example of this was in the red zone after an extended drive by Blast From the Past when Grenier called a goal line outs and backline ins mirror concept. His right slot receiver broke to the cone but Grenier held the ball a touch too long and before I could scream “DON’T THROW IT” the route was undercut by Marc Andre Blais who intercepted the belated pass attempt.

Dilly!Dilly! Came into this game with a chip on their shoulder. With the game in their sights, Max Ledoux insisted that I refer to the Grenier led squad to BLAST IN THE CAP! The team was registered after having not played in years and their cap hit was well above the division maximum. That said the decision to adjust their cap was made as the team hadn’t played in a while. For the record, I didn’t think that Blast in the Cap would be too strong for the division and supported the decision once it was explained to me this week. Still the Ledoux brothers looked poised to make a statement against these FPF veterans.

Jeremie Ledoux posted 5 touchdowns for Dilly!Dilly! He also knocked down 3 passes, intercepted another and added 57 rushing yards and a TD on the ground for good measure. Max Ledoux recorded a sack and made Frank Grenier’s night as miserable as possible. Additionally Stan Marino continued his tour de force as his three touchdowns in this game brought his season long total to 10 (in 4 games!!!). The best the Blast From the Past could do to counter was a 6 catch 70 yard and a single TD performance by Cederic Gelinas-Seguin. Dilly!Dilly! Are anything but water down as their name sake would suggest and the 38-18 victory would carry them to an impressive 4-0 start.

Declarations of Bravado

Dilly!Dilly! (4-0): I had the opportunity to watch double D for a little while this weekend. I was impressed with what I saw. Defensively they are very sound and this group of Bud Knights was led by rusher Maxime Ledoux who gave quarterback Frank Grenier little time to get beyond a single read.
Suicide Squad (3-1): Jahmaal Roach threw two interceptions but only 5 total interruptions. SS are rolling.
Rainmakers (4-1): I’ve officially been way too low on a team with Division 1 pedigree. Nick Prockow isn’t one of the players who has that pedigree but he caught 3 of his 6 touchdowns in this game. Combine that with his 4 interceptions and he may be a front runner for two way player of the year (as well as some others highlighted in this article.
Green Means GO! (4-0): They’re still undefeated but they only put up 3 scores against a struggling Oscar’s Hockey School. They won by a score against backup quarterback Daniel Curiale who started in place of Matthew Zeppetelli.
Ravens (3-1): Ravens are improving but I feel as though they haven’t played their best football yet. Justin Sarlabous has low-key become the go-to receiver as he leads the team with 28 targets.
Pincellos (3-1): I’m impressed with Pincellos defense but I was kind of underwhelmed by Vince Romano against a team that had allowed almost 28 points a game heading into last week. An elite team would have used the opportunity to flex on the weaker squad.
Oreos (4-1): Gotta give credit to a team who actually shows up in the face of a forfeit.
V-Town (3-1): The team is averaging 2 interceptions a game and the defensive unit is paced by Jonathan Velasco who has a hat trick of interceptions heading into the halfway point of the season.
Blast From the Past (2-2): I’m starting to think this will be an up and down season for this squad. Hai Minh Luong may be looking at Frank Grenier and thinking to bring Death to Smoochy if you get what I’m saying (no one does).
Save the Turftles (2-3): They’re clinging to the 10 spot here like Moe Khan clinging to chocolate Almond Milk. They’ve lost to experienced teams and beaten new teams. They will eventually have to beat SOMEONE! I was impressed however to see Tony Vo haul in 2 TDs in a losing effort against a strong Suicide Squad.

Visions of the World of Tomorrow

Last week saw very few upsets but a ton of really close games that made a lot of the division’sfavorites look underwhelming. I think we’re in line for a similar week this time around. However, I do think there will be a couple of upsets this week. Here are my predictions. My picks are in bold so now you all know but I guess, if you knew, you knew.

			Ball’s Deep		*Suicide Squad*
			*Green Means Go!*		Pincellos
			Les Mythiques		*Melons*
			Dilly! Dilly!		*Ravens*
			Brewers		*Trailer Park Boys*
			*V-Town*		Menace II Sobriety
			*Oreos*		Quatrium FFC
			*Rainmakers*		Oscar’s Hockey School
			Les Chevaliers Du Rohan		*The Bad Batch*
			*Save The Turftles*		Blast from the Past

Denouement

For those who have any thoughts, commentary or complaints, I am very easy to find. I’m @peezehss on twitter, @pdellarocca and Peeze Della Reeze on facebook. You can also take a chance by emailing me at [email protected] but I don’t check it because it’s a death trap of junk emails all trying to sell me hair and penis growth solutions. I really need to use incognito mode.

Remember that each week you can join the party on our Facebook page or at www.youtube.com/flagplus on our weekly podcast: Calling the Audible. We are still trying to figure out when the shows will be available and how to get it live on air.

Till next week, I want to thank you falettineme be mice elf agin!