Peeze’s Playbook – Week 8

For most players my age or thereabouts, I ask you to recall a famous TLC song from the 90`s.  For years rather than hearing the actual lyric ‘Don`t go chasing waterfalls’, I understood the song to proclaim: ‘Don`t go, Jason Waterfalls.’ 

Evoking this memory allowed me to consider the life of Jason Waterfalls. If I were called upon to write his epitaph or recite his eulogy, where would I start? Evidently, he should definitely have stuck to the rivers and lakes that he was used to.  For Jason trying times led to nothing but despair.  One may even say he was moving too fast. In truth, it was his name that led to such misery.  The elevated expectations of being named Jason Waterfalls was clearly too much to bear.

On a side note, Justin Blanchard criticized my ability to keep deadlines this week in his division 4 article. Those who truly appreciate the arts know that you can`t hurry ceiling bound mural at the Sistine Chapel while others continue to produce what can scarcely be considered as literature. Poor Justin, one day he’ll find his muse.

Here`s week 8:

Hit ‘em Up

The Centurions are no longer perfect now that Hit Squad’s 4-4 made sure all their kids won’t grow (relax, it’s a quote from the above mentioned song and I in no way advocate gun violence or any type of violence toward children).  In an incredibly fast paced, exciting game between these two squads Hit Squad proved to be more efficient despite not being able to convert with much success in conversion opportunities.  Jarred Humphrey played incredibly well and he threw for 7 touchdowns as he torched the typically staunch Centurions defense.  Monnat, Krupa and Grace all scored twice while Joey Blusanovics added another touchdown.  Hit Squad’s turnaround may have come too late in the season but at the very least they seem to be relishing the role of spoilers.

For the Centurions it was an interception thrown by QB of the year candidate Jeremy Laporte that made all the difference.  Mean Green moved the ball well and despite Cederic Morin’s 4 touchdowns the Centurions were not able to extend their undefeated Centurions season.  Having thrown the interception to Hit Squad’s Kevin Krupa, Laporte knows he needs to rebound quickly.  The Centurions have been able to win big games on the backs of their defense; the question is whether or not they can score enough points on days when their defense can’t make the stops. For this week however, the answer was that they could not as the score was 44-41 in favor of the Hit Squad.

Loose Cannons Fire Blanks

I guess you can consider it a call-out of you wish, however, the Loose Cannons demanded attention after their very impressive start to the season.  I remained skeptical as they had not beaten any of the certified front runners in the division.  The Loose Cannons have now faced off against three teams whom I thought, would prove to be a challenge for them.  Now that they’ve lost to the J’s, Tomahawk Nightmare and Game Changers, it is apparent that my concerns were legitimate.  The Loose Cannons are a solid team but seem to be a season away and/or a key acquisition away from being a serious contender.

Despite everything I’ve just said about the Loose Cannons, I think that they are a very good team and I do like the way that they are put together and the way that they have come along so quickly. They played hard in this one and were in the game until late in the second half.  For those who frequent the Facebook wall you’ll already know that momentum in this game may have shifted when after a controversial call.  After the dispute surrounding whether or not a play that would have been called an unnecessary contact penalty could result in a touchdown did leave some confusion.  What was clear as Day was that the Game Changers won this one by a score of 28-12.

The Game Changers keep on rolling and as I am biased, this makes me quite happy. Justin Filteau showed that he is more than just an awesome rusher as he caught 3 catches for 51 yards and a touchdown in addition to the 4 sacks that he recorded throughout the game.  Overall it was the Game Changers team defense that came together to beat the Loose Cannons.  Try as Hemsley may, he would only complete 7 passes against this young, and energetic squad.  After this game and the Centurions loss, the Game Changers remain as one of only two undefeated teams in the division.

Vikings Fail to Pillage Coast City

The Vikings faced off against another struggling team this week when they met Green Lantern Corps on the field.  Julian Ramsay had his worst game of the season he completed only a third of his pass attempts, and passed for only 59 yards. Overall, the Vikings did not look great in this game.  They were unable to move the ball effectively and this turned out to be a long night for the long sword swinging battalion.  They now have only one win this season and they have some tough games ahead of them.

For Green Lantern Corps, bird was not the word.  The word was indeed Mendy, as in Mendy Cardichon.  I didn’t do any research but I do believe he is one of ____ players who has thrown a touchdown, caught three and recorded and intercepted a pass. I don’t know how many players have done it but I think it is safe to assume that their haven’t been many.  Cardichon is a bad man and was almost a one man wrecking crew out there.  GLC has proven that when Cardichon cannot be contained they cannot be beaten. Also acting as chief beneficiaries of this monstrous achievement is Antoni Borowczyk and Fadel Assane who both caught touchdowns as well. Green Lantern capitalize on the play of Mendy and friends and win this game 31-13.

Khan You Dig It?

Perhaps the heading should have been Khan you dig I.T?  However, I don’t know who wouldn’t dig information technologies.  That being said Moe Khan actually looked like a quarterback this past week (rather than the pewee splinter jockey he normally appears to be).  He threw 5 touchdowns for the first time this season and the Montreal’s Junior Finest defense finally decided to come out to play. With their players returning from injury MjrF look to end the season on a positive note. Eric Thomas was all over the place defensively as he swatted 3 balls out of the sky and hauled in one interception. On offense Thomas added two touchdown catches and the Junior Finest team won by a score of 30-12.

The Dope Boys just appeared to be lost in this game.  In the absence of Lalonde, 3 players tried their hand at quarterback and none were particularly effective. However, seemingly in an attempt to get their entire roster to touch the ball at least one time, the Dope Boys had 8 players who caught a pass in this game. Nicholas Desrosiers seemed to be the one centre of consistency as he caught 4 passes for 48 yards.  Let’s hope that the Lalonde doesn’t stay away for too long because they face Los Banditos, Cheeseburger Eddy and the J’s in the final three weeks of the season.

Hungover Visions of the World of Tomorrow

This week I went 11-6 (due to Pick 6`s captain not being able to read an email…it`s ok I blame Siri as well.  Mat Domon was clearly worried about picking games against me and chose an interesting strategy of not writing an article at all. In the end, his cocoon type style has given him an edge.  I now stand at 80-45 (.640) to his 63-33 (.656).

I’m frustrated folks:

Tune Squad vs. Vikings

A-Squadvs. Ghosts

Pardon My Swag vs. Mysterious and Magical Men

Les Albatros vs. Centurions

Gryphons vs. Speed Demons

Clinique Physio Impact vs. Shamrocks

Warriors vs. Pick 6

J’s vs. Hit Squad

Limetime vs. Blue Balls of Destiny

Dope Boys vs. Los Banditos

Tyrants vs. First Downers

Sphinx vs. Mad Bears

Midnight Bombers vs.  Cheeseburger Eddy

Game Changers vs. Lachine Squad Utopians

Green Lantern Corps vs. Cougars

Tomahawk Nightmare vs. Montreal`s Junior Finest

Expendables vs. Ballz Deep

Loose Cannons vs. Black Ice

Reflections, Rants and Ravings

•          Finally an article where I can make a Tupac and a TLC reference.  My life`s work is complete.
•          While I try to avoid ‘winning’ the Dagenais award for the worst fantasy team in the Division 5 Fantasy League, Clinique Physio Impact and Pick 6 are intent on scrapping it out to win the award for last place team.
•          This week Sergio Sicoli and I will look at some of the middle of the pack offenses and decide which ones are worth starting, sitting, beloved or despised.
•          If the word one can be pluralized, as seen in my previous point does that mean the word one is not the loneliest word while 1 is in fact, the loneliest number?
•          Deconstructed burritos are just another word for not having tortilla shells.

The Injustice League

The worst punishment bestowed to any man is to win the Dagenais award (for finishing last place in Fantasy Football).  It looks like I am getting ready to compete with Moe Khan for this dishonor.  It is truly a dark day for all of us.

This Week’s Matchups

6. Brent vs 3. Domon
5. GM vs 4. Duke 

*The top two seeds have a bye week

**The bottom two will compete for the Dagenais

***Look, Stars!!!!

Rosters

Unicorn Haterz Unite	MK Ultra Test Subject
Jeremy Laporte (QB)	Anton Sakiz (QB)
Matt Monnat (WR)	Jonathan Petard (WR)
Martin Gelinas (Flex)	Jonathan Legault (Flex)
Doug McKernan (QB)	Shamrocks (Def)
Roch Fortune (Flex)	Terry Tam (WR)
First Downers (Def.)	Dylan Catellier (Flex)
Olivier Savage (WR)	AJ Kirouac (WR)
Frank Kaye (WR)	Evan Nolet (QB)

 

Peanut Butter & Tam	The Walking Domon
Fred Fortier (Flex)	J.J. Janvier (Flex)
Shawn Murdrosky (QB)	Centurions (Def.)
JF Cloutier (Flex)	Hai Mihn Luong (Qb)
Paul Santache (WR)	Etienne Cloutier (QB)
Adam Copeland (WR)	Raphael Isseri-Guertin (WR)
Game Changers (Def)	Ridwan Abdur (WR)
J.R. Beausoleil (WR)	Mathieu Cauchon (Flex)
Moe Khan (QB)	Junior Luke (WR)

 

Duke of Hazard	Sexy Firemen Calender
Joel Richard (QB)	Adamo Iadeluca (QB)
Ian Einheiber (QB)	Eric Bishara (Flex)
Jeremi Durand-Termblay (WR)	Juordain Alexis (Flex)
Shako Dimanche (WR)	Vincent Vincelli (WR)
Cedric Sambour (Flex)	Speed Demons (Def)
Chris Kaliotzakis (Flex)	Marc-Andre Bergeron (WR)
Maurice Dykmans (WR)	Justin Lafontaine (WR)
Ghosts (Def)	Julian Ramsay (QB)

 

Kollectyoass	Peeze’s Punch Pandas
Justin Melrose (Flex)	Marc-Andre Theberge (QB)
J.F. Marquis (QB)	Nyle Anderson (Flex)
Terrence Dobson (Flex)	Mathieu Fafard (Flex)
Eric Lalonde (QB)	Cougars (Def)
MMM (Def)	Sebastien Thibault (Qb)
Chrie Yeramian (WR)	Nicolas Desrosiers (WR)
Simon Chouinard Laliberte (WR)	Antoine Brisson (WR)
Soryha Tum (WR)	Anthony Da Silva (WR)

Standings

1. Justin (4-0, +160.83)
2. Terry (3-1, +58.70)
3. Domon (3-1, +15.60)
4. Duke (2-2, -26.67)
5. GM (2-2, -62.80)
6. Brent (1-3, -23.07)

7. Peeze (1-3, -36.13)
8. Moe (0-4, -84.47) 

 

Power Rankings

1. Game Changers (7-0)- My predjudice knows what`s up.  I’d like to say that since I don`t play in division 5, I have no feelings, one way or another about the outcome of the season; but we all know it would be a lie. #GameChangers
2. Centurions (6-1)- Losing this past week may help the Centurions as the pressure of going undefeated is now lifted.
3. Cougars (7-0)- They mind their own business, keep their heads down and take care of business. It isn`t flashy but they are very impressive.
4. Speed Demons (6-1)- If defense wins championships, get ready to crown them.
5. Shamrocks (6-1)- I have them slipping a spot just so I can build them up come St. Patrick`s Day.
6. Mad Bears (5-1)- They showed up to play even though their opponent didn`t.  The game has been rescheduled and as such Mad Bears stay roughly where we left them last week. A temporary hibernation so to speak.
7. Gryphons (5-2)- They keep getting tested and they keep rising to the occaision.  Teams better be on the lookout for this potential dark horse.
8. Ghosts (5-2)- They don`t have any easy games ahead of them on the schedule.  Look for them to rise up the power rankings should they win these games.
9. Cheeseburger Eddy (5-1-1)- Cheeseburger gets knocked down the ladder here as they`ve only won one game in their last three outings. Their stumble has more to do with how well other teams are playing than their own misstep.
10. Tomahawk Nightmare- They are recovering from their early season snafus. Now GM Koletheras owes me a beer because I did in fact work snafu into an article.

Other Teams Receiving Votes

I asked Mat Domon for his votes.  He reminded me never to break into his home again.  If you’re curious about who he would have voted for if not for my slight mishandling of the situation, feel free to tweet him @MathieuDomonFPF

• First Downers (4-3)-They have been plagued with turnovers and inconsistency.  If the First Downers put their best foot forward every game they could be a terrifying opponent. Like a squirrel trapped in your grandmother`s solarium.
• Midnight Bombers-The Bombers are solid through and through.  However, they face Cheeseburger Eddy, the J`s and a surging Hit Squad in their last 3 weeks of the season
• Los Banditos- Google translate tells me that they should be called Las Gargantillas (The Chokers).  I hope this is one of the many misinterpretations available via Google Translate.
• Loose Cannons (4-3)- Before I jump on the bandwagon they will need to beat a team from the underdog position. 
• Mysterious and Magical Men (4-3)- They finally won another game but once again they did not score enough considering what they will need to do against the elite teams in division 5.
• Pardon My Swag- No shame in losing to the Cougars.  However, they did lose and they will need to win tough games if they have championship aspirations.

 Monday’s Manical Minute

Feeling Dirty? Do you want to? The perfect time to do so is every Thursday night as www.theunclehood.com serves up some must see TV.  I am a weekly occurrence on Flag Plus Bromance, the division 5 podcast, our beloved host is Terry Tam.  Calling the Audible and Flag Plus Bromance will be streaming live, back-to-back this Thursday as of 7:30pm. 

Want to hear your words come out of our mouths? Tweet us live, during the show @EagleFPF. Don`t worry, he`s harmless, his caw is greater than his bite. Email me to ask how my day is or regale me with tales of yore  at [email protected] or you can reach me on Twitter @PeezeFPF.  Terry Tam (@TerryTamFPF) needs followers because at the moment he has more actual stalkers than virtual stalkers.  Give him a follow.  I can`t deal with him sobbing over the phone every night.

Please tune into and subscribe to ‘Flag Plus Bromance’ our official division 5 podcast, available via iTunes or at http://fpf.podomatic.com. If you haven’t done so by now I assume you were to shy.  Don`t worry, we’ll let you ask us to dance.

See you on the fields, till then, thank you for letting me be myself.