Peeze’s Playbook Season Preview

So once again, this is the time of year that we thank the Montreal Canadiens for their service, lament their playoff loss, remember the incredible season that Care Price gave us and focus on other things. As has been the case for the past couple of years, the Habs unlikely exit has us focusing on FPF.

 

This season my focus has shifted toward division D. Familiar names such as Show Me Your TDs, DG Goons Backyard Bullies, Tomahawk Nightmare, Jagerbomb Gotham Knights, and Les Affreux look to go beyond previous playoff drives and have their names etched on the trophy. Pardon MY Swag, Woofpack, and Diablos make the jump up into a higher division and bravely proclaim themselves worthy. Globo Gym Purple Cobras, 5 Star Prospects, Crimson Tide, Thunder Buddies, BronxBombers, Warhawks and Bromigos are all teams with immense talent giving a new player a chance at quarterback and in some cases putting together a “lite” version of some of their more prominent rosters. GM Koletheras leads his typical Frankenteam out onto the battlefield. Tyrants, Hot Boys Hotline, and Sticky Hands, are all hoping this is the season where they can recover from recent failures. Hooligans returns a familiar face to compete for the division’s highest honor. All the while, the Blue Devils, The Alpha T’s and Les Aigles think to remind teams that the trend in the FPF Cap era is for new, unknown quantities to exceed expectations and compete with the established rosters.

 

Yes this will be an interesting season. I have listed my top 10 teams but know that I have made and unmade this list several times before publishing this article. I think we will see a lot of close games. I will do my best to be present for as many games as possible. I will be earnest in my attempts to cover this division.

 

Speaking of earnest, I once read that Ernest Hemmingway composed with many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. He believed that it was his responsibility to create and an editor’s job to correct the errors in the text. I share that belief. In that one, solitary, way I can promise you literature of the same caliber of an American legend because there will be plenty of spelling and grammatical errors to go around.

 

 Dramatis Personae

 

For those not familiar with Latin or who have never held a playbill in their hands, this section is to offer a quick introduction to the people responsible for the media content for this division. I will list them and then craft a series of lies so that the actual content in each paragraph becomes a veritable Where’s Waldo.

 

 Peeze: By this point many of us have already crossed paths. For those of you whom I have not had the pleasure of meeting, you will quickly learn that I do what I can to come to as many games as possible, act personably on the sidelines, write somewhat coherent alcohol fuelled ramblings that the league glorifies by calling articles and firing off opinionated, angry rants on league podcasts.

 

This season I will be playing in Division D as a snapper for Show Me Your TDs and for Division B’s Darksiders. I also have extensive experience in this league and am heavily involved with many of the leagues day-to-day operations. If you have any questions and you see me lingering around the sidelines please feel free ask any questions or voice your opinions. If you have any complaints, I will be glad to ignore them but act very supportive. After one season covering Division 3 I am happy to return to write for the most engaging division in the league.

 

GM Kolethras: George Michael is a man of many talents. He is a helpless romantic with the eyebrows of a Greek God. He maintains that his eyebrows are akin to Samson and the mane of hair that gave him strength. As such I am offering a pitcher of beer to anyone who can either deflate his ego or shave his eyebrows. While that does reference two NFL controversies in one sentence, know that his references will be better conceived and more highly sexualized. He will be my partner in crime on the perennially highest rated podcast: Calling The Audible. You can tweet him @gmkole44

 

Moe Khan- What can I say about Moe that many don’t already know. Well we all know that his hair is made of the same material as Brillo pads. He was the rusher for famed franchise Montreal’s Finest, and he is the wet towel to my off he wall literary and audio based athletic libido. However, few know that he will be assuming a new role as the producer of Calling the Audible. He will try to reign in my thoughts and I will try to get him fired on a weekly basis.

 

The Eagle at Master Control: He turns the knobs on the podcasts. He laughs awkwardly at inappropriate humor and, in his youth, sold more chocolate bars for charity than any other high school student in Montreal’s East End. I chalk it up o his awkward charm. If you aren’t careful he may fill you home with almond filled chocolates. If he recommends the Peruvian chocolate, you need to turn him down immediately!

 

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to My Segments

 

• Recap: Put simply, this is the segment where I will go over some of the games from the previous week. It’s like Sports Centre but without the benefit of replay or charismatic anchors. I will try as much as possible to cover as many teams as possible as well as focus on key games as they occur.  Those who know me can attest to the fact that I try to watch as many games as possible and I prefer to write about what I’ve seen firsthand.  However, as it isn’t physically possible to make it to every game, feel free to let me know what happened in your matchup.
• 5 plays Till Half Time: From time to time, another member of the FPF media team will ask a series of 5 piercing questions and I will answer with the least amount of forethought possible. I promise it will have as much foresight as a Michael Bay film plot.
• Reflections, Rants and Ravings: This is a returning segment from past seasons. This where I give shout outs, bestow call-outs and go off on whatever tangent seems partially relevant on any given week. Some of it is related to FPF, some is related to football and some may be particularly awkward icebreakers I test with my audience before trying them on particularly attractive females with the pleasure of sitting next to me through an entire flight.  At times I may seem to lose focus, but trust me it all ties together in the end, and sometimes, it doesn’t.
• Power Rankings: This is where I take a look at the division on the whole and decide which group of thugs would be king of the mountain.  I then publish my findings in a top 10 format.  I’m often wrong about this so in the end it truly means nothing. Either way I invite you to let me know why you think your team should be considered.
• Hung-over Visions of The World of Tomorrow: This is my predictions section. Read below for changes.

 

• All of these segments are subject to change as my memory is limited to retaining mathematical patterns, bad beats in poker, interesting recipes and obscure comic book references. There are also ‘seasonal segments’ that come around in the times of the season where they seem more appropriate (playoff brackets, mid-season breakdowns, all-star nominee’s, the Peeze Awards, etc.)  Also, if you have ideas regarding what you would like to see in my article please feel free to contact me. At this moment I don’t know how many articles I will be able to produce each week, so for the moment let’s assume it is between 1 and 70.

 

** Please note that an article may not include any of these segments.

 

Preseason Power Rankings

 

I love ranking teams in the preseason. They are based on personal bias and no actual analytical data. However, more than the picks themselves I love the reactions that I will get inevitably. Teams that win week one will be quick to call me out when they slide by and earn a victory in week 1. However, I wonder if said players will praise me when I am right? Please note that I can be praised on Twitter @PeezeFPF.

 

1. Jagerbomb- There should be no question as to why Jaggerbomb are ranked this high. They won 4 straight games to make it to the Division 5 championship game. They then were the underdogs in every matchup and lost by less than a touchdown in the finals. Also, I have an extreme amount of bias when it comes to these boys. They’ve been my favorite team for so long it only seems appropriate that I continue to ride their coat-tails. In the past Simon Duchesne has been the type of quarterback who avoids mistakes and keeps his team in the game. I will admit that for Jagerbomb to do well in a very strong division D, Duschesne will need to be a little more explosive. The keys to success here would be Jean Felix Daloze and Gabriel Moreau-Paquette. These are probably two of the more dependable receivers on this squad and both have big play potential. The roster is rounded out with some very strong 2 way players who such as Martin Gelinas and Maxime Marzan who are not household names but definitely will have an impact game in and game out.

 

2. Les Affreux- I have said for seasons that I just think that Affreux are better with Matt Domon at the helm. However, they may be best when Jonathan Lemieux. In Sprink 2013 Les Affreux where a front runner and a favorite to win the championship when Jo Lemieux was behind the center. When he went down with an injury, Les Affreux were quick to fade. Their defense is led by one of the elite rushers in our game. Daniel Bellefeuille. His 114 sacks have been a mark of consistency for this team. Les Affreux also have a few interesting pieces that serve as versatile 2 way pieces such as Martin Jackson Patrice Clément and Mathieu Domon himself has developed into a steady db/receiver in recent seasons. In the end, it will come down to whether or not Mathieu Dubois will continue to lead this team as a stud receiver and shut down defender. If so Les Affreux may be hoisting a trophy over their heads in a few short months.

 

3. Tomahawk Nightmare- Tomahawk Nightmare have existed for 4 seasons and have made the playoffs every single season. This is an impressive mark of consistency. In some seasons Tomahawk march into the playoffs as the favorite while, in other seasons they limp into the playoffs like a lemming who jumped off of a cliff that was just too short to complete the task. Nonetheless, if you make the playoffs every season you have a chance to compete for the trophy. Jean-François Marquis is an elite defender who has started to play on the defensive side of the ball more frequently for Tomahawk Nightmare in the past few seasons. As a quarterback, he has developed into a premier passer, throwing for 40+ touchdowns in each of the last 4 seasons. Olivier Savage and Mathieu Cauchon are two top end receiving talent sin this division and the corps is rounded off with snapper Ehran Kip who is a steady, sure handed and physical athlete at the snapper position. Tommy Cauchemar have all that it take to make their dreams become a reality. If they go out and execute, this will be a team to be reckoned with.

 

4. Crimson Tide- I like all the bits that make up Crimson Tide. Sami Beg and Doug McKernan are good enough receivers to take over games and the sure handed Brandon Taylor gives this tea a three piece that can make them a contender. Defensively, Brent Callender leads a loud and ferocious defense that will be certain to keep any team in the game. Chris Pinsonneault has thrown the ball before but there is a world of difference between being McKernan`s halfback on option plays and being the pivot of an offence. McKernan’s voice not be the hit at an Karaoke night but it will definitely help in the huddle as Pinsonneault will need to make that transition to keep Crimson Tide atop this power ranking.

 

5. Backyard Bullies- Quarterback Rich Humes is the player FPF loves to hate. He is a running quarterback and thus, the more pig-headed and stubborn media believe he cannot win a championship. In my opinion, this is a remarkable asset, and having to defend a dual threat can be trying for any defense. Humes is also a quarterback that likes to spread the wealth and adding the lightening quick Bryan Mongeau will definitely serve to open up the offense. This is also the season where I think that Mark Donohue will transition from the volume receiver he has been in the past, to a legitimate scoring threat.

 

6. Show Me your TDs- (by Justin “Finals MVP” Justin Blanchard) Coming off opening-round playoff losses in Division D last spring and Division 4 in the winter, SMYTDs hope the acquisition of ex-Crooklyn Dodgers receiving duo Matthew and Alexander Bengamin will help mitigate the loss of key pass-catchers Danio Addona and Nick Bergeron/Shawn Haney/James Floreani. Those are some big shoes to fill. Nonetheless, the SMYTDs core is still here, and if it’s one that was strong enough to make the playoffs last spring, it should be capable to repeat the feat again this season. The real question is: why the hell didn’t they capitalize the “m” in the team’s name?

 

7. Globo Gym Purple Cobras- The alternate team name for this group would most likely be Two and a Half Cobras as they are the foster child of the very successful Two and a Half Dans. Eric Maiorino tries his hand at quarterback and he has some impressive athletes on his team. Danny Aylward and Foti Evangelista have proven their worth as receivers in this league and Joey Taylor is the most underrated athlete in the lower divisions. Alex Joltipuf who is one of the most naturally gifted receivers in this division also appears on the roster so one can definitely make the claim that their fate rests on Maiorino’s arm.   Either way, I think this cast will form a strong enough defense to keep their rookie Quarterback in the position he needs to be in to win games.

 

8. DG Goons- They went 6-2-2 last season and DG Goons has returned looking to bring home some hardware. Few know Chris Pendenza but, he I ,in my estimation, the best quarterback, that no one is talking about. Derek Fontana is his main target and he has proven to be a dynamice receiever, with range and the ability to catch the ball in tight windows. However, a duo of veritable unknowns but soon to be household FPF names would not be enough to propel this team into the top 10. So I petition that the third member in the erroneously perceived innocuous trio is Franck Ngandui. Ngandui’s stats do not tell the full tale as he is absolutely a shutdown corner. He has amazing closing speed, great instincts and remarkable coverage ability. The DG Goons are a team that live to surprise people. If they do well. I will not be surprised.

 

9. Thunder Buddies- This is a familiar group of players that have the option to start David or Devin Daoust aat quarterback. While, I donèt like to rank teams that have a potential quarterback controversy, I think that this team will be fine with either one taking the snaps. Brad Demers will play the role of the Swiss Army knife and Joel Malkin will most likely be the main target for the offense. This team will be a showcase of FPF experience and their defense will be a strong, communicative group that can  

 

• Gotham Knights- The Gotham Knights return a familiar cast as Bruce “Wayne” Candussi leads his team into competition once more. Candussi is a great quarterback that has grown be leaps and bounds in every season. Alexandre Gaudet joins Chris Rivest and co. as he will definitely serve to be a calming presence on this team. Another key addition is Jonathan Chevalier who is the rusher who joins the team from Mongoose fame. I think that while this may be a slow and plodding and somewhat predictable offense, it will be efficient. Combine that with a group of ballhawks n defense and Gothem Knights look to be in a situation where they can string some wins together in division D.

 

Teams that Will Break Your Heart

 

Formerly Formerly Formerly Teamless- GM Koletheras is known as a heart breaker on the dating scene (those eyebrows are basically two horse shoe shaped chick magnets). However, recently he has been the most heart breaking team captain. He has built teams with a lot of talent, character and FPF acumen. Quarterback John Brown is a very talented Flag Plus Football Quarterback. However, he lacks the arm strength to take advantage of Khalil Kerr and Quaysie Gordon Maul’s speed. Steve Hodhod is a defensive mastermind and has the pieces to have a dominating defense. However, this is Flag Football and I think this is a team that will lose a few too many close games.

 

Junkyard Dogs- The Junkyard Dogs are always a gritty, tough-and-less-than- flashy-but-get-it-done team. JYD have been, as long as Jason Rossie has been the starting quarterback, a middle of the pack team. In the pase 3 seasons their overall record stands at 15-13-2. Jason Rossie has come a long was as a quarterback but, I see that he has surrounded himself with the same nucleus (Yavar Ashrafi, Jason Kokolakis, and Julien Lefebvre). They are all good players in their own right but they are all the same type of player. They are big, strong, steady players. However, I do not see a playmaker on this team. They have a fairly favorable schedule so I believe they will sneak into the playoffs as a mid-low seed and break our hearts once they get there.

 

Hooligans-   One look at this roster causes me to think of two things. Firstly, this is largely the Ball Busters roster from previous seasons. Secondly, Chris Olson may be making his return to the quarterback position. Olson has had mixed success in FPF. When he’s at his best, he is protecting the ball and allowing playmakers to go make plays for him. He has Jeff Brown at his disposal and Jeff is a crafty FPF player. I like some of the players on this team who are lesser known but have had significant contributions in past seasons. Matt Brown is a great utility player who can fill multiple needs, Sonny Chan is a reliable tackler and has proven to be a competent rusher. However, I believe this team lacks the depth despite their versatility at most of their positions. If they are missing a piece or two each game (as often happens in the spring season) this could be a difficult season for the Hooligans.

 

Prove Me Wrong

 

5 Star Prospects- The FPF media is traditionally short sighted. Many of my brethren fall in love with some collections of players yet, let their emotions get the best of them when it comes to talented teams and players who play for a team they dislike. This has never been truer than the players who have come from the infamous #NoRegard family tree. Jeremy Anderson is an FPF star and still is somewhat anonymous to many. He will be the lifeblood of a team that I expect to be athletic and have a disruptive defense. However, Jordan Moses has not played quarterback before and while his remarkable elusiveness will certainly help the 5 Star Prospects be competitive in many games, I will need to see this product before giving them more attention. Perhaps I am being cautious. Perhaps I am hanging out with the media team too much and I have become equally short sighted.

 

Warhawks- The Warhawks have probably the scariest receiving corps in Division D. Laurent Ladouceur, Cederic Bourbonnais and Raphael Ducas-Lapalme would be a strong receiving corps in Division B. My question is, who is throwing? If Fred Mallette is the pivot, I do have some concerns. The league is getting better each season and I have yet to see Mallette develop into the passer he needs to become to lead this team to victory. I hope I am wrong here because there are a lot of new, unknown players who may help the Warhawks take the division by storm. I also hope the Fred Mallette has learned from past seasons and is now ready to shine. I don’t think that the Warhawks are quite there; prove me wrong boys.

 

Sticky Hands- Sticky hands will be a product of how good their quarterback plays. François Éthier`s best seasons see him hover at mid-30 touchdowns and double digit interceptions. If he can take better care of the ball, drive the field better and score more touchdowns. Sticky Hands will see a remarkable improvement from last season. In winter, Sticky Hands were a streaky team that ended the season with a 3 game losing streak. I can`t imagine that they would be much different but this is in fact a call for the inexplicable adhesive fingered team to prove me wrong. Antoine Dussureault and Jean-Phillipe Nadeau were the playmakers on this team (having caught 75% of the teams passing touchdowns last season). I think this would be a call out to Henry Dam who returns to this squad and Jeffery Lefebvre to step up and and become dependable points of emphasis on this team and help them become less big play dependant.

 

Woofpack- Terry Tam, consider this a direct challenge!!! Last time we saw Tam playing quarterback he was completing pass after pass to the opposing team and replacing himself with team-star Yacoub Telemaque. Telemaque is a great player and there is a lot of talent on this team. The names known by few in this league are Bradley Augustin (a dominating tall, physical recever), Frederico Alzamora (an intelligent and instinctive defender) and Ben Ghanem (a solid, containment-first rusher) that may become more well known after wht I expect to be a productive, statistical season for the aforementioned players. I do not think that sats will lead to success because I do not know if quarterback Terry Tam is ready to make the jump from the lowest division, into a far more competitive Division D. I am rarely wrong but this is a great group of guys and hope that they can prove me wrong this season.

 

I Just Don`t See It

 

Tyrants- In the Winter 2012 season, I played for a now defunct franchise called Checkmate and we beat the Tyrants in a hard fought game to seize control of the division heading into the playoffs.   I remember remarking after that game that this was a solid, well-built FPF franchise. Since that point, they have gone 15-43-2 with roughly the same roster. Given the fact that FPF is becoming more and more competitive in the lower divisions one would expect that they would need to make a serious acquisition or two to become contenders. They have added rusher extraordinaire Phil De Kovachich who played with them briefly in the spring 2014 season. However, other than that, this is relatively the same Tyrants roster as previous seasons. Before we start spouting out the famous Albert Einstein line referring to repetition, expecting different results and insanity, let us consider the roster for a moment. I believe their best chance for success is with John Kaliotzakis at quarterback. I believe that Andre Frederick is one of the best stand-alone talents in the division. Also, I know that Karl Belafi will be productive and an emotional leader on this team. The pieces all seem to be there, however, we will need to see if the Tyrants can piece it together. I would like nothing more than to be chanting “Way To Be!” at the championship game. However, for the time being, I just don’t see it.

 

Bromigos- As you would imagine, this is a team of good friends. They are good friends who can be found on a patch of turf or at a Mexican themed restaurant drinking many cerveza directly out of the pitcher whilst the birthday boy adorns a wicked sombrero. My main concern here is Yassin Chekir who is an unknown commodity in FPF. At the quarterback position, that is usually not a player you can count on. That said, I think that Jean-Mathieu Vidal is an underestimated talent who has done damage in past seasons when he has been in a situation that permits him a lot of volume. Jean-François Foriter-Poulin has emerged as a budding superstar in FPF. There are definitely some strong pieces on this roster. If Chekir can prove his worth as a quarterback, the Bromigos can be better than I am currently giving them credit for.

Pardon My Swag- PMS is probably the funniest and most Bear attractant team acronym across the divisions. Pardon My Swag is interesting because, it is a franchise that is entering its 5th season, yet it seems to be a team that returns each season with different parts. This seems to be one of the wearker PMS rosters I have seen to date. While they have an excellent rusher in Alex Torres (13 sacks last season), a quarterback who has improved every season (Brad Evans has thrown 28, 31 and 42 touchdowns in the last three seasons) and a versatile yet underrated player in Brad Demers. However, this team lacks star power. Pardon My Swag seems to be built around Patrick Pilotte who is expected to give this team a boost and while he will have an impact on both sides of the ball I don’t think he will be enough for this team. Unless the make a big acquisition soon, I foresee a long season for PMS.

Hot Boys Hotline- If I were to tell you that Bryden Streeter is an emerging star in FPF, few would disagree. When I type the name Malcolm Archer, It evokes an imagine of the number 25 (as in the record for sacks in a season). Thoughts of Vadim Chernyak are that of a crafty veteran receiver who all defenses want to key in on. However, Tom Gatehouse is a big question mark for me as he has shown the penchant for turning the ball over. Furthermore, I do not see a receiver on his roster that can truly complement Vadim Chernyak and force defences to be honest. The defense will be strong as it is captained by Alex D’Aquila who is a great defensive play caller and there are some good athletes. However, I do think that HBH will struggle as they did this past season.

 

Teams That May Surprise Us

 

Blue Devils– The Blue Devils are a team of police officers captained and quarterbacked by FPF veteran quarterback Pat Riot. Riot is am amazing arm talent and I think that his true strength will be leadership as he is the only player on this roster with FPF experience. That being said I would imagine he has put together, a team of athletic gentleman ready to compete. The quarterback is the most important position in the league and as such, having as gifted a gunslinger as Riot will put the Blue Devils in a position to win games. If not, this may be the best team to approach about unpaid parking tickets.

 

BronxBombers- There are so many teams that are intent on driving my spell check crazy yet none more unnecessary as the this one. Personal vendettas aside, BronxBombers are one of the best groups of talent in the division. The only reason they did not make my power rankings is that I do not know how James Nowakoski will perform at the quarterback position. However, his presence on defense cannot be understated. For that matter, neither can the defensive efforts of Cornelius Fuerle. Fuerle is not only a Conan O’Brien doppelganger, he is also a great tackler and cover corner, as we saw in his first full season with MetaMayhem this past winter.   The team also has some interesting two-way pieces that are also seminal characters around which to build a team. Alex Holowach is a strong, physical snapper who can each the ball in tight spaces and is a versatile player on defense as well. Thomas Zorko is one of my favourite, yet highly underrated players in FPF. BronxBombers are a team that most teams are not yet paying attention to, but they may well by seasons end.

 

Diablos- Diablos didn’t exactly dominate Division 6. That being said, I would not be entirely surprised to see this team take the division by storm. Francois Martin has had mixed results as a quarterback in Flag Plus Football. However, he is a successful outdoor quarterback and this may just be the season that we see him breakout and be the successful quarterback that many of us have expected since his first season in the league. Receivers Gabriel Wiseman and Georges Élie Voyer are top end receivers and will help Martin develop into that successful quarterback. On the defensive side, Zach Zwirn has shown the ability to take over games. He has missed time in the last few seasons but, if he is present for every game he can help Diablos be that team that surprises everyone this Spring Season.

 

I Straight-Up Don’t Know Who You Are

 

Les Aigles- This team features Jean-Christophe Ferland who had a sterling first season with the Golden Flashes. Having caught 8 touchdowns and nearly 20 yards per catch in his first season, one would hope that this team has the arm to get him the ball. Other that that, this is a team whose name translates to :The Eagles. I would assume that this team is a fan of Philadelphia professional football, Boston College amateur football, or a flying endangered species. I would hedge my bets and avoid dressing like Santa Claus at the complexes.

 

The Alpha T’s- At this moment I am not sure what to make of this team. Francis Branchaud who was a role player on the Gunslingers last season. Perhaps he was underused; perhaps, there are others on this team that will shine with this new franchise. Until we see the product on the field all we know that a Google search of images found on the internet using The AlphaT’s as a set of keywords seem to lead us to pictures of audio plugins that serve as synthesizers, oscillators and filters. Week 1 may give us some perspective until then, nothing but questions. Questions and “wavy sounds”.

 

Hung-over Visions of the World of Tomorrow

 

In this week’s prediction Mat Domon and I pretend to have insight into teams that we know nothing of and decide who will be victors and who will fall in their first week. Nonetheless, here are our thoughts. I edged out Mat Domon in last seasons picks. I think this season I will wipe the floor with him. For the moment we are both 0-0. Mat, enjoy the tie while it lasts.

Game	Peeze	Matt Domon
Pardon My Swag vs. Hooligans	Hooligans	Hooligans
Formerly Formerly Formerly Teamless vs. Bromigos	FFFT	FFFT
DG Goons vs. Tyrants	DG Goons	DG Goons
Globo Gym Purple Cobras vs.Hot Boys Hotline	Globo Gym Purple Cobras	Globo Gym Purple Cobras
5 Star Prospects vs. Crimson Tide	Crimson Tide	5 Star Prospects
Gotham Knights vs. Les Aigles	Gotham Knights	Gotham Knights
Diablos vs. Woofpack	Diablos	Woofpack
Jagerbomb vs. Backyard Bullies	Jagerbomb	Backyard Bullies
Show Me Your TDs vs. BronxBombers	n/a	SMYTDs
The Alpha T’s vs. Thunder Buddies	Thunder Buddies	Thunder Buddies
Les Affreux vs. Tomahawk Nightmare	Les Affreux	n/a
Blue Devils vs. Sticky Hands	Sticky Hands	Blue Devils
Junkyard Dogs vs. Warhawks	Junkyard Dogs	Junkyard Dogs

 

Reflections, Rants and Ravings

 

• Globo Gym Purple Cobras, know that there is a good chance that I will call you Two And a Half Cobras.
• I wonder what alien species reports directly to “The Big Giant Head”
• This season FPF podcasts will be hosted in it’s new home. Stay tuned for more details.
• Games this season are at Lachine and Complex Bell (in Brossard). Make sure to leave early as there are certain to be delays due to Montreal’s inevitable construction nightmare.
• Les Affreux have one of their best rosters in memory. If they don’t win this season Mat Domon is more cursed than Hollywood mummies.
• Famed New York Toy Store FAO Schwarz may be closing its doors. I guess this means childhood is officially dead.
• Formerly Formerly Formerly Teamless quarterback Jon Brown heard through the grapevine that I had questions about whether or not he would be effective this season. He took exception to it and announced the death of our burgeoning friendship. I’m still more troubled by the loss of an iconic toy store.
• Jagerbomb lost in the finals but there are some questions about this team heading into the season. I think they will hit the road win as much momentum as they ended the season with last season.
• FPF player Domenick Bartuccio reminisced this week about moving in with his girlfriend years ago, “I never knew how many things I was doing wrong, until we finally moved in together.” I believe his tongue was lodged firmly in his cheek.

 

Saturday’s Satellite Squadron

 

The Spring Season is always interesting. There are fewer divisions and less teams. However, the teams that do register for spring tend to be the true flag teams. For this reason, I found it hard to rank teams in this division. There are a lot of strong teams and anyone can take home the trophy. In the meantime we have 10 exciting weeks ahead.

 

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF division D podcast Calling the Audible where GM Kolethras and I will compare Hamlet with the Lion King, discuss the influence of scantily clad women, the benefits of drinking while cleaning, none of the previous topics and a breakdown of the first week of action. Stay tuned for information about when and where you can watch it. Until then if you have any questions, comments or demands for recipes please feel free to email me at [email protected] or by tweeting me @PeezeFPF.

 

Have a great and safe first week of action. See you at the fields!