Peeze’s Playbook (Div.5) Week 5 – FlagPlus Football League

Now that the fantasy drafts have been completed I feel a weight has been lifted off my chest. The boys have cleared out of my place and all of the pizza boxes and empty bottles have been collected and disposed of. Other than one irate neighbor in my condo who is still complaining about everyone’s wet boots (seems odd considering it is winter) all the hoopla surrounding the draft is complete.

The draft order was determined by the amount of fantasy points we’ve accumulated on the field, as players this season (with the exception of Mat Domon who is injured and we then used his stats from the first three weeks from last season). Terry, knowing full well that I have had my struggles this season (my first catch this season was for-4 yards) chose this selection method as he won last season’s fantasy season. However, despite having the last pick, I am confident that my boys will put me in striking distance to the trophy.

As spurned as I felt by Terry (feel free to tell him that his injustice will not go unnoticed by tweeting him @TerryTamFPF), one member of the media team has even more to gripe about. David Della Rocca could not make it to the draft and as such i now faced with an auto-drafted roster. He insists that he will not win the the Dagenais award (our version of the Sacko). We’ll see how it all pans out.

Tune Squad Take Exception to Swag

In the last week one game to be played (I know, time travel confuses me also) Tune Squad beat Pardon My Swag 27-13. In reality, due to the state of the new field in Baie D’Urfe in week one, some games needed to be rescheduled; this was one of them. Tune Squad came out and looked ready to play in this one. In the absence of usual quarterback, JP Mancini, Corey Walwaski did an admirable job throwing for 166 yards and 4 touchdowns. In reality, as expected the Tune Squad defense is their crowned jewel. Having knocked down 7 passes and only allowing 2 touchdowns the Tune Squad defense is ready to play.

For Pardon My Swag, they take their first loss and quarterback Shawn Mudrosky sees the first blemish in his TD/INT ratio. This was a game where PMS’ offense could not get started. Despite moving the ball and being quite efficient on offense the baby blue bombers swagists (I straight up, made that word up. Take that, high school English teachers!) were plagued by the inability to convert. If the Denver Broncos have taught us any lessons it is that, teams can’t win in an orange jersey and the efficiency means nothing if you cannot put points on the board. Luckily PMS don’t need to worry about the colour of their jerseys.

CPI Shredded by Cougars

It has been a tough start for Clinique Physio Impact. They have now lost their first 4 games and their latest matchup against the Cougars has shown that they may not be able to run with the top dogs of the division. Despite getting blown out in their first game, CPI has played a tough brand of flag and have lost the next three games by an average deficit of just over 8 points. Bozzo has continued to struggle, although, one would expect a turnaround with a receiving corps that boasts players such as Scott Booth, Vince Vincelli and new acquisition, Alex Haddad (he caught 71 balls, 498 yards and 14 touchdowns).

On the other hand, the Cougars have been off to a magical start. Adamo Iadeluca has looked strong and the leading candidate for Rookie of the Year (although no such award exists), JJ Janvier caught 2 touchdowns and Janvier ran in another touchdown. Adding to the offensive presence was Gino Conforti who matched Janvier offensive output by scoring 2 touchdowns in his own right. Cougars walk away with this one by a score of 39-22.

MMM Handed Marching Orders in GOTW

So, what promised to be the most exciting game of the week turned out to be a blowout. Centurions beat Mysterious Magical Men 40-12. That is all. Recap is over.

I guess I’ll spend a few minutes going over this game. For the Centurions it was business as usual. However, instead of the towering tandem of Melrose and Morin it was Jeremy Laporte who baited Matthew Bishara into making mistakes as he intercepted him twice. Offensively, he was practically perfect as he only had 5 incompletions and he threw for 6 touchdowns. Melrose did seem to disprove my theory that he is only a defensive player (as heard on FPF Bromance last week) as he caught a touchdown on an 18 yard pass.

Matthew Bishara has struggled a little this season and finally MMM played an opponent that made him pay for it. The ‘Dirty Bird Shovel Pass’ (the pitch play made famous by the Bisharas was ineffective in this game and it seemed like they found little that would be successful in any other part of their game. Eric Bishara then took the reigns and also struggled.

Bears Attract Menstruation but Beat Blue Balls

The title may be a little inappropriate, even so, it is factual (somewhat factual in any case). By air or by ground, Sebastian Thibault is one dangerous young man. This week his legs did a lot of the work as he scored thrice by running it into the endzone. He combined that with 2 passing TDs and a pick 6 to win the metaphorical Swiss Army knife of the week award.

Blue Balls of Destiny seem to have the acquired said condition whilst awaiting their first win in franchise history. Alex Phaneuf started at quarterback and was the third pivot to do so in 4 weeks. He threw for 5 touchdowns and looks like he may be their most effective option as long as he can eliminate the mistakes (he threw three interceptions this week). Mathieu Goudreau seems to be valuable no matter who is throwing as he as already caught 4 touchdowns this season. There are some positives for BBOD but they do lose this one by a score of 44-32.

For the record, only polar bears seem to be attracted to menstruation as the title of this recap suggests. Be careful when planning camping trips along the Polar Express with mothers, awkwardly young grandmothers, sisters, girlfriends or lady pals.

Limelight Blinds Sphinx

For as long as I have written for FPF I have held one claim to be true. Limetime beats the teams that they are expected to beat but loses to the elite teams in the division. The Sphinx have stumbled out of the blocks but they are still a scary foe. However, this time around Limetime looked ready for this one. They made the switch to David Daoust at quarterback and that decision seems to have paid off. David threw for 3 touchdowns and used his ability to avoid deflaggers to buy extra time in the pocket. The result was total dominance from the start. Mike Zenone caught two touchdowns and was his typical presence on defense this week. While they did seem to take their foot off the gas in the second half, Limetime held on to win this game 25-18.

I can’t figure Sphinx out this season. They are relatively the same roster that has been successful in the past, Cloutier is an experienced quarterback, their jerseys all match, yet, and they have not been successful. In fact, they have only beaten one team and that is the 0-4 Green Lantern Corps. On a positive note, Fafard seems to have woken up and he did catch 2 touchdowns and record 6 total receptions. They will need more performances like this if Sphinx intend to turn it around.

Jr’s Finest in Name Only

If a team is going to call themselves Montreal’s Junior Finest, they have to expect a target on their back. MJrF have huge shoes to fill and the standard has been set quite high for them. It has been a tough start out of the gate for them and they are too experienced to be losing the games that they’ve lost. Moe Khan was solid at the quarterback position and delivered touchdown throws to Brent Callender, Shakeel Phinn, Eric Thomas and Paul Ghaleb. Instead what plagued the Junior Finest team were two long passes that were tipped and then caught by Warriors’ receivers.

Prior to the game Warriors quarterback Mike Bagnato mentioned to me that he has good athletes on the team but that they just needed to start making plays. It seems as though the call was answered as Parsaram and Sambour had huge games. A special shout out goes to Samir Dahab who threw a touchdown, caught another one and recorded an interception. Dude, buy yourself a box of cookies, you earned them. Warriors earned a win over the Montreal Junior Finest team 43-32.

5 Plays Till Halftime:

Another five questions were freshly flown in by the Eagle at Master Control. Far more elegant and short of beak than the famed child delivering stork, the Eagle dropped these juicy, burning morsels of enquiry upon my doorstep. Do you think storks are dumb? One bird of prey would agree with you, so feel free to send your expletive included tirades denouncing these fowl midwives to @EagleFPF.

Eagle- Which current D5 player can you see making the HOF in future seasons?

Peeze- First and foremost, I want to reiterate what president Rob Campana has said on this topic in the past. The Hall of Fame is open to players in all divisions. That being said, as D5 is usually a starting point for players as they tend to move up through the divisions throughout their careers. So, while players may start in division 5 the trend is that they will most likely make their name in higher divisions.

So now that I have stalled long enough to think of how to answer this question, I do have some names to consider. Erminio Iadeluca first comes to mind. Before we had a website or even a hall of fame, Erminio was the first FPF superstar. If we had FPF films, Erminio’s clips would be hazy and in black and white, but nonetheless very impressive.

Eagle- Can you start to see a three tier break down occurring?

Peeze- To be honest, I don’t think we have seen that develop yet. I do think there is a disparity between the top and lower tier teams. Given that teams have only played 2 games out of conference we are seeing the top tier teams pick on the weaker teams. Soon the weaker teams will get their wins as they play teams of their own relative caliber and the top guns may start to accumulate Ls while picking on someone their own size.

Eagle- Pick some early contenders for QB of the year.

Peeze- Right now it seems to be a one horse race with Anton Sakiz leaving everyone in the dust. He is on pace to throw 50 touchdowns, and he has only thrown 1 interception thus far. He is throwing for 15.7 yards per completion and while the race for most touchdowns is close, I don’t think the race will be for much longer. Also, let’s not forget my bias.

However, Adamo Iadeluca and Shawn Mudrosky are making their respective cases and are ready to take the lead if Sakiz slips up. Billy Seretis has also had a solid season but his high risk play calling style may affect his candidacy as he has already thrown 7 interceptions. Another quarterback who may be a leading contender is Jermey Laporte. While he has thrown for 17 touchdowns (compared to the current league leaders who have thrown 20) he does have remarkable rushing stats as well as 2 rushing touchdowns. Additionally, his team is 4-0 and undefeated records tend to help sway the jury.

Eagle- How has the run game affected D5 this season?

Peeze- D5 has always been home to running QB’s. In the past 3 seasons 4 quarterbacks have broke the 500 yard barrier (Sebastian Thibault, Kevin Boustany, Anthony Carbone and Felix Morin). Given that 10 quarterbacks have a minimum of 100 yards rushing and multiple touchdowns; it would seem that this season is no exception to the rule.

To be honest, I like this new breed of quarterback in FPF. In a league where the QB is often the team’s running back as well. Rushing yards are oft neglected but can greatly impact the game. Often it is said that running quarterbacks don’t win in this league. I think this judgement is short sighted. It is based upon the hypothesis that running quarterbacks do so because they cannot throw. I argue that this conjecture is erroneous. This league is about athletes making plays. If you have the ability to make plays in two different ways it serves only to make you more dangerous. No one would complain about a grenade-knife, would they?

Eagle-Which fantasy matchup have you circled on your calendar given the possibility of heckling your opponent after victory is achieved?

Peeze- Given my well documented rivalries with Moe Khan, Terry Tam and Brent Callender, it would seem logical that I would look forward to these matches. However, I look forward to matching up against my brother. In FPF games where we have faced each other there was no shortage of trash talk, physicality and obnoxious pride. I expect our fantasy matchup to be similar.

Hungover Visions of the World of Tomorrow

The tide has begun to turn ladies and gentlemen (who am I kidding, I basically write for a bunch of dudes week in and week out)! After a few tense weeks where Mat managed to pick slightly more accurately, I return week 4 the victor. I meet the parade in the streets with Mat in a steel cage being carried by my soldiers. I will let you decide on whether that description is literal or virtual. Nonetheless, my astounding winning percentage continues to climb as I went 13-5 to Mat’s 10-7. This brings my season total to 47-25 (.652) and Mat’s total to 39-22 (.639). I have now taken the league and there is no turning back. Mat Domon, consider taking up whatever the equivalent to golf would be given this competition. Feel free to remind Mat that he is now trailing in this competition by tweeting him @MathieuDomonFPF.

Here are my picks for week 5.

Pardon My Swag vs. Clinique Physio Impact

Gryphons vs. First Downers

Midnight Bombers vs. Cougars

Los Banditos vs. Mad Bears

Ballz Deep vs. Centurions

Shamrocks vs. Mysterious and Magical Men

Pick 6 vs. Blue Balls of Destiny

Loose Cannons vs. Vikings

Green Lantern Corps. vs. J’s

Les Albatros vs. Lachine Squad Utopians

A-Squad vs. Hit Squad

Ghosts vs. Dope Boys

Limetime vs. Tune Squad

Sphinx vs. Cheeseburger Eddy

Montreal’s Junior Finest vs. Tyrants

Black Ice vs. Warriors

Tomahawk Nightmare vs. Game Changers

Expendables vs. Speed Demons

The Injustice League

In grade school I was taught to do Math without a calculator. I never worked particularly hard at it because, I knew one day I would have my own calculator. FPF has supplied me with one who we all know as the Eagle at Master Control.

This week I, when I asked him if he had tallied the scores for the FPF fantasy leagues, I was told that my calculator needed to recharge his batteries. As it turns out strippers, lunch-time buffets and fruity, neon coloured drinks seem to be how he recharges his batteries.

That was a long winded way of saying that the scores and standings would be updated in my next article.

This Week’s Matchups

Peeze vs. Terry

Domon vs. Duke

GM vs. Justin

Moe vs. Brent

Rosters

Unicorn Haterz Unite	MK Ultra Test Subject
Jeremy Laporte (QB)	Anton Sakiz (QB)
Matt Monnat (WR)	Jonathan Petard (WR)
Martin Gelinas (Flex)	Jonathan Legault (Flex)
Doug McKernan (QB)	Shamrocks (Def)
Roch Fortune (Flex)	Terry Tam (WR)
First Downers (Def.)	Dylan Catellier (Flex)
Olivier Savage (WR)	AJ Kirouac (WR)
Frank Kaye (WR)	Evan Nolet (QB)

Peanut Butter & Tam	The Walking Domon
Fred Fortier (Flex)	J.J. Janvier (Flex)
Shawn Murdrosky (QB)	Centurions (Def.)
JF Cloutier (Flex)	Hai Mihn Luong (Qb)
Paul Santache (WR)	Etienne Cloutier (QB)
Adam Copeland (WR)	Raphael Isseri-Guertin (WR)
Game Changers (Def)	Ridwan Abdur (WR)
J.R. Beausoleil (WR)	Mathieu Cauchon (Flex)
Moe Khan (QB)	Junior Luke (WR)

Duke of Hazard	Sexy Firemen Calender
Joel Richard (QB)	Adamo Iadeluca (QB)
Ian Einheiber (QB)	Eric Bishara (Flex)
Jeremi Durand-Termblay (WR)	Juordain Alexis (Flex)
Shako Dimanche (WR)	Vincent Vincelli (WR)
Cedric Sambour (Flex)	Speed Demons (Def)
Chris Kaliotzakis (Flex)	Marc-Andre Bergeron (WR)
Maurice Dykmans (WR)	Justin Lafontaine (WR)
Ghosts (Def)	Julian Ramsay (QB)

Kollectyoass	Peeze’s Punch Pandas
Justin Melrose (Flex)	Marc-Andre Theberge (QB)
J.F. Marquis (QB)	Nyle Anderson (Flex)
Terrence Dobson (Flex)	Mathieu Fafard (Flex)
Eric Lalonde (QB)	Cougars (Def)
MMM (Def)	Sebastien Thibault (Qb)
Chrie Yeramian (WR)	Nicolas Desrosiers (WR)
Simon Chouinard Laliberte (WR)	Antoine Brisson (WR)
Soryha Tum (WR)	Anthony Da Silva (WR)

Standings

Team Name	Wins	Losses	Ties	Winning %	Points Scored	Points Allowed

Unicorn Haterz Unite
MK Ultra Test Subject
Peanut Butter & Tam
The Walking Domon
Duke of Hazard
Sexy Firemen Calender
Kollectyoass
Peeze’s Punching Pandas

Rants, Reflections & Ravings

I feel as though I really tore into Montreal Junior Finest this week. No doubt that Andel Gordon will be vexed when I see him on the sidelines this week but then again he always is.
No one picked Jonathan Makris in this fantasy draft. It is strange but I’m sure fantasy owners have their reasons.
This week is Valentine’s day. For those who work Friday night and have a game on Saturday night, enjoy sleeping on the couch.
Mike Mudrosky informed me that his nickname is not Murderface. Instead he prefers to be known as Mud. Either works but I still have a softspot for murderface.
Mike Bagnato was sporting his new 5 o’clock shadow this week. It must be because I kept referring to him as Mr Clean last season.
I keep killing plants by forgetting to water them. No need to wonder if I’d make a good father.
Rafal Filipiuck of Los Banditos looks like a he Fences in his spare time. I do not want to matchup with that dude and a training sword.
Cheeseburger Eddy has intercepted the ball 14 times already.
If you have any ideas for a last minute but awesome Valentine’s Day gift tweet me @PeezeFPF. As for price range, I’m looking more at Legos than Bentleys.

Power Rankings

Centurions (4-0)- To be the best you’ve got to beat the best. Since no one has beaten them yet, they are at the top of our power rankings.
Game Changers (4-0)- They havew a stifling defense. They allow a mere 9.25 points against per game. That is worth a notice.
Cheeseburger Eddy (4-0)Valentine’s dinner is over and paid for. Cheeseburgers were on the menu and the First Downers made the walk of shame the next morning.
Cougars (4-0)-I have to reward them since they keep giving me easy Ws in my picks. They take the 4 slot.
Mysterious and Magical Men (3-1)- So their GOTW loss was ugly. That being said, I don’t want to overreact because they lost to the strongest team in the division. They will bounce back.
Shamrocks (4-0)- They’re undefeated but their victims have had a combined record of 4-12 thus far. Nonetheless, they are beating whoever is on their schedule.
Ghosts(3-1)- The Ghosts have won their last three games and since I don’t put a ton of stock into week 1 games, they make ahuge jump this week.
First Downers (3-1)- They lost big to Cheeseburger Eddy. I still think they are one of the strongest teams in the division. Let’s chalk that one up to an off weak.
Mad Bears (3-1)- So far so good for Thibault and co. If they keep playing this way I can see them rising up in these power rankings.
Pardon My Swag (3-1)-Since my last article they won one and lost another. I don’t think they will lose many more.

Other Teams Receiving Votes

As always they are in no particular order because thinking is difficult after your third scotch.

Speed Demons (3-1)- I gave them some serious thought before keeping them out of the top ten. Unfortunately beating a winless team did not propel them into my Nicholas Picholas inspired list.
Loose Cannons (3-1)-They pick up another win but they do have a winnable schedule. The next time they play a team with a winning record is week 7 when they face the Gamechangers.
Los Banditos (3-1)-Huge win for the Violet Ventriloquists. This week they play against Mad Bears, who is us[ect will give them some issues.
Gryphons (2-1)-They have now won 3 in a row and it has come against solid opposition. Div 5 may now begin to take notice.
Tyrants (2-1-1)- The Tyrants deserve some credit as they show they can run with the youngsters of the division after beating the Dope Boys.

Tuesday’s Twister Tournament

If you haven’t heard or listened to FPF Bromance (the official podcast and companion and how-to guide for division 5), then you must be living under a rock. Escape the darkness by visiting www.theunclehood.com at 8:00 pm EST. Interact with us by tweet @EagleFPF and getting involved in the conversation.

Let me know what’s up [email protected] or you can reach me on Twitter @PeezeFPF. This week I will be joined by Sergio Sicoli once more as we get the opportunity to play Start’em/Sit’em, Love’em/Hate’em live on the air. If you want to make sure you end up on Sergio’s love list this Valentine’s day, tweet him @SerSicoli and feel free to profess your love for all things blue and wrecking.

I kow you all love looking at my face but sometimes the only free time you have to listen is in your car or while your significant other is forcing you to vacuum (in exchange for being able to play once a week of course). We have great news for you FPF Bromance, is as always, available via iTunes or at http://fpf.podomatic.com.

See you on the fields, till then, thank you for letting me be myself.