Peeze’s Playbook (Div.5) Week 2

Dear all non-employees of FPF,

While working for this league is fun, affords us a creative outlet and makes for a genuinely fulfilling experience, allow me to warn you of it’s one truly dreadful shortcoming.  If you do work for the league, never, ever, permit the league to give you an @flagplusfootball email address.  This warning should not be taken lightly and should be treated with the same diligence as feeding hours for Gremlins (lest you feed them after midnight).

The main issue here is the massive amount of junk mail that we all get in our inboxes.  After a while you really start to wonder if you do, in fact, need hair growth formula, whether I need to date more women and if I should also upgrade my business phone system.  This is the type of self-reflection that can surely drive a man mad. Had I not come up with a way to manage this situation, you were likely to see my psychotic ramblings scrawled along the stalls of the Catalogna bathrooms.  No, my good friends, I found the perfect solution.  I simply forward all of my junk mail to Mat Domon’s personal email account (also, I fill his head with terrifying thoughts by tweeting him incessantly @MathieuDomonFPF).

So instead, I reserve my psychotic ramblings for my bi-weekly column and display it for all to see.  Without any further delay, here it is:

Uno, Dos, Tress, BANDITOS

A day after I ripped the Banditos for under-performing the Lavender Pirates lit up the score board.  This was not by any means a perfect game, there were still some key drops; Gobi Nadesh dropped a would-be touchdown on a beautifully run wheel route and David Della Rocca dropped another would-be interception.  That being said, without playing their best football Los Banditos were dominant in this game. Alex Guertin was on point all game long and wide receiver Rafal Filipuk could not be covered. Los Banditos used this mismatch to their advantage and beat the Midnight Bombers by a score of 31-18.

It is somewhat strange but I actually was more impressed by the Midnight Bombers in this loss than I was in their week 1 victory.  Joel Richard is an impressive new quarterback and I do like his raw ability.  Where I think the bombers lost the game was that they seemed to panic and try to get the game back all at once. Richard will soon learn how to manage the 44 minutes and ten plays better and when he does, the Midnight Bombers will be scary.

Melrose Place

Every quarterback in the division needs to read this. I say that for two reasons. Firstly, as a giant megalomaniac I am always looking to expand my readership. Secondly, it really is for your own good. DON’T THROW DEEP AGAINST THE CENTURIONS! DON’T THROW TOWARD JUSTIN MELROSE! Unfortunately, the Tomahawk Nightmare cannot travel back in time and read this article.  As the time traveler’s paradox stipulates that you can only travel forward in time and not backwards, Melrose’s interception will stand and his pace of 1.3 interceptions per game continues to reign terror upon opposing quarterbacks.   

In Jean-Francois Marquis’ defense he did a good job of being safe with the ball for most of the game and the Tomahawk Nightmare did lead the game early.  Despite starting with a 12-0 lead, the Centurions came back and controlled the game in the second half.  It takes a perfect game to beat the Centurions and once the Tomahawk Nightmare fell behind they were not able to play their typical ball control style of offense.  All of these factors culminated in a 42-26 win for the Green Menace.

5 Plays Till Halftime: 

Each week the Eagle at Master Control sends 5 quick questions for me to anwer as truthfully as possible.  I am a horrible liar and my tells are often as obvious a child in a candy shop smiling from ear-to-ear.  So, this is a fairly simple task for me.  In any case if you have some questions that you think should be addressed in the article please feel to tweet them to @EagleFPF (#5plays).

Eagle- 7 games (41%) were decided by a one score or less; 4 games (23%) saw the victor allow one score or less.  How do you interpret this?

Peeze- My guess would be poorly.  That question is a lot of numbers and poetry in motion. 

Speaking seriously, I guess the close games make sense early because some teams that would be more proficient were rusty during week 1. Also, I do feel that there is a significant level of parity in this division.  The blowouts show that this isn’t the only way that rust can affect teams and I do expect that most games will be close as the season continues although, most games probably won’t be as close as they were during the first week.

Eagle- What surprised you and what disappointed you in week 1?

Peeze- I really thought that the Gryphons were going to put up a bigger fight against the Centurions.  I really like the Gryphons but evidentially, they did not come out to play in the first week of the season.  

I have two things that surprised me. Montreal Junior Finest came out in week one and showed a lot of character for a team where many of the players hadn’t played together before.  Even in the absence of an injured Shane Blackwood, MJR Finest put up a huge first win. 

Secondly, I have to give credit to a team that I have been somewhat harsh with in the past.  When I started playing in this league Bruno-Pierre Pelletier and the Boozers/Hangovers/Lachine Squad Utopian Franchise was one of the scariest opponents to face on your schedule.  On the other hand the Tyrants were a team that had fallen to the middle of the pack despite having a great reputation. They’re week one win was as pleasant a surprise as the toy in a Kinder Chocolate Egg.  

Eagle- Do you have any advice for teams that struggled week 1?

Peeze- Yes I do.  Don’t give week 1 any added significance.  It is just one game like any other.  There is no need to panic, just go out there remember your team’s identity and get ready to win the next one.

 Eagle- Is there a rule you could tell that was misunderstood based on the number of calls you saw in the games you watched?

Peeze- Does the false start rule count? I’m being facetious of course, but seriously, just watch the ball! 

There hasn’t seemed to be any confusion with any of the new rules necessarily.  However, players need to be aware of the new FPF culture that the league is trying to instill. In an effort to remove violence and aggressive and reprehensible behavior the leagues officials have been asked to be harsher when handing out UR’s and OC’s.  The league is changing boys; don’t get yourselves suspended, or worse.

Eagle- If you had to pick a Hall of Fame Member and put them on a D5 team which team/person would you pick and would result on the team playing WORSE?

Peeze- There is a simple answer to this question.  I would put Daron Basmadjian on Mysterious and Magical Men and they would be doomed to fail.  Luckily their team captain has decided to take the plunge into the depths of certain FPF obscurity and sign Daron to a one season contract.  Moreover, imagine the horror of Daron Basmadjian cloning himself and seeing two of him on the roster.  With that sentiment I may have concluded my tenure at FPF since Mr. Basmadjian has appointed himself as Supreme Chancellor of Media Relations.

Tuesday Mid-Afternoon Running Back

Let’s review a couple of last week’s picks.  We will take a look at the result of the game, my initial thought process and we will see if it panned out the way I expected or if I was completely wrong.

Ghosts 12- Cougars 32

Last Week’s Pick: Cougars

The Thought Proccess: I had high expectations for Ghosts this past summer season.  The main reason that they struggled was that they could not find an answer at the quarterback position.  Returning with Gab Wiseman and adding Georges Elie-Voyer to the fold I figured that once again they would be a strong team.  That would be true if they had a quarterback.  As I was unsure about who would be throwing for them I picked against the Ghosts.

As for the Cougars, I figured either of the Iadeluca cousins were solid options at quarterback and I like teams that return with the same homegrown corps as in previous seasons because that type of chemistry is irreplaceable.

The Result: This was a rough first outing of the season for Alexis Gaumont.  The Ghosts may have found their starting quarterback but he will have to prove that he is capable, if the Ghosts are to be taken seriously.

Pick 6 32- Vikings 38

Last week’s Pick: Pick 6

The Thought Process: This was a difficult game to predict because Pick 6 is a new franchise with a lot of new parts; the Vikings are a returning squad that always seems to be in transition.  Both teams have quarterbacks that have struggled in the past while Evan Ely-Nolet played well in his Winter 2012 campaign.  Additionally, I liked the receiving cast of Sicoli, Nappi, and Kaye.  

The Result: The Vikings worked well as a unit and quarterback Julian Ramsay may have had his breakout game. Returning receivers Shako Dimanche (clearly the coolest name in div.5) and Chris Williams caught a trio of touchdowns each. As for Pick 6, the ‘too many chef’s in the kitchen’ led to confusion on offense and two interceptions.  The team needs to trust their quarterback and Nolet needs to stay composed otherwise this collage of chef’s will end up serving turnover soup.

Tuesday’s Tidy Up

This week FPF, debut’s it’s new line-up for podcasts and it’s new home at The Unclehood Studios.  Much like NBC’s famed ‘Must See TV’, the division 5 (as well as division 4) podcasts will take place on Thursday night.  For those who want to stream it live they can do so by visiting www.theunclehood.com.

Do you want to be featured in the article or be a guest on the podcast? Let us know by emailing me at [email protected] or you can reach me on Twitter @PeezeFPF.  For all other inquiries, dial 9, or hit Terry up @TerryTamFPF.  The dude loves being tweeted and loves when you send him pictures of kittens.

Please tune into and subscribe to our official division 5 podcast, available via iTunes or at http://fpf.podomatic.com. This week, join me, and my usual co-host, Terry Tam as we discuss a variety of topics that we hope are at least somewhat relevant to this week in Flag Plus Football.

See you on the fields, till then, thank you for letting me be myself.