Nit-Picking our flaws halfway through the season. Welcome to Week 6.

It is THAT time of the season once again: Where I get to break down my personal and extremely biassed evaluations of each team in the most objective way possible! Welcome to the Mid Season report card! Despite ONESTOP and KISS MY INLAWS having only played 4 games, most teams have already counted their 5th or even 6th game of the season, meaning we all have roughly the same amount of game time to be evaluated.

I like to break my judgments down into Letter Scores, S+ to C-, and I don’t give Fs! I will be giving a score for each category: OFFENCE, DEFENCE, and OVERALL, and also try to highlight at least one player from each team. In my experience, you can get away with fewer TDs in the lower divisions and still expect to win. As you climb in the league you are expected to score on more of your possessions, which also translates to defences making fewer stops. I find that in Division A/B you have to be close to perfect to keep control of the game, so I’m looking for the following:

OFFENCE: In Division B, to even be competitive, you need to be able to put up a minimum 4 TDs per game… MINIMUM! Meaning, if you’re looking to win games, you need to consistently put up at least 5 TDs AND be able to convert a high % of extra point attempts. Any offence that can consistently do this, gets an A in my books.

DEFENCE: Just because an Offence can score points doesn’t mean they are a shoe-in to win; offence may win games, but defence wins Championships! Unfortunately, (or fortunately… however you want to see it) FPF caters towards the offences, making defensive stops a rarity in the higher Divisions. That being said, Defences still need to step up and force some turnovers, so I will be looking at teams who can make the necessary 2 stops per game to allow their offences to pull ahead! Any team that has been able to keep their opponents from scoring 30+ points CONSISTENTLY, will definitely be getting an A!

So without further ado, let’s get this show on the road and pick apart some teams!

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE:

Although the league could not organise a game in time for the Monday EZW game, they were able to get a melange of Div A players to face off against SILENT TICKLERS on Tuesday! Regardless of the auto win they received from HATEFUL 8, SILENT TICKLERS wanted to play this game to get back in the swing of things, having played their last almost 3 weeks ago! TICKLERS had lost some hard fought games at the beginning of the season, even going 1-1 against EZW, while losing a few players along the way… From what I’ve heard, Adam Rosen will be out for a bit (a month?) and Dan Mancini had received an injury in the winter season, which prevented him from suiting up earlier this season. All of this together, has put SILENT TICKLERS on their back foot heading into the second half of the season, so coming out to get their groove back was definitely the right choice! They face the BRUINS twice in their next 5 games, so will need to beat them at least 1x to get a positive 6-4 record!

KISS MY INLAWS did it! Not only did they make it through the gauntlet of undefeated teams last week, but they were also able to get the hard fought win over HEAVENLY SONS this past Tuesday. KMI are now the last undefeated team in the division, however, they have only played 4 games, while the rest of the division has 5. Luckily, KMI have a Bye week which should give them enough time to come back rested and work on our Convert game. Facing against HEAVENLY SONS really drove home the importance of CONVERSIONS! Despite being able to stop Ben McMahon from running AND our defence keeping them to 5 offensive TDs… Our team was in disbelief that with 2min in the game remaining, HEAVENLY SONS were only 9 points behind… If we didn’t get a first down or a TD on our last drive, the SONS would have had a chance to score and go for the onside, possibly giving them the win….. BUT HOW?! We had 7 TDs to their 5! It didn’t make sense?! Until you took into account the Converts… While KMI only succeeded on scoring 4pts on conversions, HEAVENLY SONS scored 7 points – ESSENTIALLY ANOTHER FULL TD + CONVERSION! So, overall, congrats to HEAVENLY SONS for making last week’s game as intense as it could be, and keep fighting hard.

ONESTOP once again fell short from beating the BRUINS by just a few points! In their first “meet-cute”, BRUINS were able to get a last minute TD to secure the win, and almost did the same thing this game! This game was a back and forth brawl between 2 teams looking to solidify their position in the Division. ONESTOP started the game with an INT and were able to go score for score with the BRUINS, ending the first half down only 1 point and starting with the ball in the second half! And, as if we were watching a mirror match, BRUINS were able to cause a 4th down turnover at the start of the half! The fierce competition did not subside, and after a successful onside attempt from ONESTOP, the pressure was on! It all came down to the last possessions of both teams! BRUINS were able to barely take the lead in their last possession, using up most of the time. ONESTOP, with 3-4 plays left, tried to march the field and score… but were held out of the endzone for a final BRUINS win of 41-39! What a matchup and rivalry these 2 teams have! Cannot wait to see them both in the playoffs! Another good lesson for teams to practice their converts! Losing by 1 or 2 points hurt… but it is also an acknowledgement that any team can win that matchup! GOOD LUCK to ONESTOP going forward, as they are now 2-2 and are facing big teams like HEAVENLY SONS and EZW next!

REPORT CARDS:

BEER BELLY BRIGADE

1st up, going in alphabetical order, are our boys in Blue (and white) – BEER BELLY BRIGADE! They have had a rough go of things so far this season, not yet finding a win against the strong DIvision B teams. With the dropping out of HATEFUL 8, BBB finds themselves in last place. This team might have the lowest Point Scored in the division, but their offence is nothing to scoff at. Alexandre Fafard has dominated the league in rushing yards and has accumulated more than double the next QBs Rushing Yards (201 – 89), all while keeping up with the rest of the QBs in the air! I can attest that rushing against him sucked. He got 60 yards on me, which hurts the soul. Pair this with Nicolas Curotte’s steady hands and you usually have a recipe for success. Unfortunately, their inability to hit more of their receivers will stop them from their 5th TD, seeing as they are currently averaging 4.

Defensively, they were only able to hold the BRUINS to less than 30 points. They have a few INTs to their names, but ultimately, haven’t been able to put up a strong enough front to come away with turnovers. Allowing teams to score 36+ points (6 TDs) on you each game will not give your offence much room for error. Overall, I can’t wait to see them get their first win, but they will have to step it up if they want any chance at a playoff run.

OFFENCE: B- DEFENCE: C OVERALL: C+

BRUINS

For a team that I rant and rave about, and despite their 4-1 record, BRUINS have had a number of close calls this season! They haven’t had a stable QB for most of the season, and although they have shown they can score 40, they have also shown they can be held to under 30! They have been able to win big against the HATEFUL 8 (before they dropped out) and against BEER BELLY BRIGADE, but struggled to win against ONESTOP twice, and found their first defeat against KISS MY INLAWS. Mike Pierrecin and Gabriel Wiseman have supported this offence as the main targets for whoever takes the QB mantle,

Another mixed bag on defence, they have done very well against a few teams, but allowed 35+ points against other teams. Having a double game against ONESTOP and their other wins coming from the lower side of the division doesn’t give me much insight to how strong they are, but knowing a handful of their squad – they can ball out if they get momentum! They will need a permanent QB and a better defensive showing as they progress in the season, but they have been very successful so far relying on their athleticism and experience!

OFFENCE: A- DEFENCE: B OVERALL: B+

EZW

Another QB striving for the top of the charts, Jeremy White, has been leading this EZW team to the top of the division! Currently 5-2, after what I would think was an upset against THE INFANTRY, Jeremy has 27 TDs in 5 games and is closing in on Iggy’s offensive yards. They have played a splattering of teams from HATEFUL 8 to HEAVENLY SONS and found success against most. But some hiccups along the way show me that this team is far from perfect. EZW took a loss against the TICKLERS when Jeremy was missing, and most recently took a heavy hit against the INFANTRY, losing 53-22!

They boast one of the stronger defences of the league and have the INT machine: Fritzgerald Cenatus! They have gotten progressively better as the season goes on, but the rest of their schedule looks a bit bumpier since they have to face ONESTOP, BRUINS, and the INLAWS! I think they’ll be able to put up 5 TDs per game thanks to many of their offensive threats: Alexandre Barros, Jean-Christophe Ferland, and Nathan Desjardins, but may struggle to keep some of the stronger teams from scoring too much.

OFFENCE: A+ DEFENCE: A- OVERALL: A

HEAVENLY SONS

A team that I thought would be fighting for an undefeated run, is finding themselves 3-2 going into the 2nd half, and it isn’t from lack of trying or scoring points! They are the first team in my alphabetical list that have consistently put up 35+ points a game! Whether it was against BEER BELLY BRIGADE or KISS MY INLAWS, these SONS have a way of just putting up points! Despite being able to stop Ben from running in our game, I could not stop his back-footed passes! In stride, backing up, planted. Ben can whip the football into incredibly hard pockets!

Anthony and Kevin take care of the offence while James and Phil take care of the defence. Unfortunately, Just as they scored a bunch, they have also lost twice, meaning their opponents are also scoring 35+ at times (all the time excluding HATEFUL 8…). They will need to somehow tighten up on defence and get more stops if they want to be successful in the playoffs, but at least they are one of the most efficient teams in extra points!

OFFENCE: S DEFENCE: C OVERALL: B+

KISS MY INLAWS

Boom! Won’t linger here too long, but oh boy… With only 4 games played, we have been able to keep up a steady flow of TDs coming in! Our lowest score comes in against THE INFANTRY early on in the season (32 points), but we have been ramping up since then. My only gripe is that we have been unable to pick up enough conversions! Iggy finds himself in the QB Top 3 as the only QB with 0 sacks! Combine that with Jerome Hovingtons 11 TDs, and Vincent/Sanders battle for 2nd place, and this is an incredibly lethal offence.

We have only allowed 1 team to score more than 30 points on us so far, and that’s HEAVENLY SONS, the team that does that to EVERYBODY! So, I’m kind of OK with that. We are capable of putting pressure on the offence through great coverage or Rusher presence, which inevitably leads to at least 1 turnover, but having to face HATEFUL 8 and BEER BELLY BRIGADE twice in our schedule, may give us a false sense of security! Wins against ONESTOP and EZW in the regular will be paramount in cementing this team as a Finalist!

OFFENCE: A+ DEFENCE: S- OVERALL: S-

ONESTOP

Another team gunning for the top spot – ONESTOP – finds themselves slowly settling at the bottom of the division, despite scoring tons of points each game! If it hadn’t been for those pesky BRUINS and their last second shenanigans, they would be better than their current 2-2! Michael Caparelli is having a pretty good season, but has missed a game or 2. Despite that, 4 of their receivers have accumulated a steady stream of targets and are able to bring in TDs regardless of who is throwing them the ball! They are regularly putting up 38+ points, and I’m not sure who will be able to stop them.

Unfortunately they too suffer from HEAVENLY SONS SYNDROME, where, as great as it is that you’re scoring these points…. Your opponents are doing the same! All of their opponents have scored more than 30 points against them, with a few of them almost scoring 40! I like the core of offensive talent on this team, but without a stronger Defence (especially against teams like SILENT TICKLERS) I’m not sure how they will be able to stay afloat after 1 or 2 turnovers…

OFFENCE: S+ DEFENCE: C OVERALL: A-

SILENT TICKLERS

These nefarious, mute, tickling fiends have played against some of the best our division has to offer; even facing EZW twice! This team has been hot and cold, especially with their injuries and long breaks, but after getting back into the swing of things this past week, they have shaken off the rust! Jordan has been playing a good enough game to push himself to almost 20 TDs in 4 games. They took a close loss against THE INFANTRY in their first game, and then were able to whupp on a Jeremy White-less EZW. Since then, the TICKLERS have been waiting in the dark for a win, and not one against a forfeited team!

Defensively, it’s been rock and roll! They shut down EZW in Week 2, but haven’t been able to produce a similar performance since. They did a great job against their HATEFUL 8 fill-ins, but besides them have struggled to keep teams under 35. Without Noah Groper getting more sacks, or another breakout performance on defence, SILENT TICKLERS may be relegated to close calls for the rest of the season. I’m intrigued as to how they will fare with the rest of their schedule, but ultimately, I think they can squeak out a few more wins!

OFFENCE: A- DEFENCE: B- OVERALL: B

THE INFANTRY

Last, but very much not least: THE INFANTRY! They hit a rough bump after their loss to KMI, but continued to put up a solid amount of points on offence! Despite losing some games, they have been able to put up more than 30 points each game, but seeing how many QBs they’ve been using that aren’t playoff eligible yet, worries me. When I played INFANTRY, Zack Stacey was the one throwing, but, I’m not sure if seeing Jeanslee Alexis on the roster means he is here to stay? Until then, their offence is getting more targets than it knows what to do with (ignore the fact that they’ve played the most games…). Marc-André Lapointe and Rory Semerjian are their biggest targets for this offence, and they are holding on to hope that INFANTRY can finish 7-3!

I gush a little bit over this defence, and without getting too detailed, they have done a great job of putting pressure on opposing QBs and always staying competitive. They’ve got like 8-10 sacks combined and a significant amount of turnovers, which makes them a seriously dangerous team! Michael Khazaka is 2nd in the division in INTs, and with Charles Olivier Vachon as your incredible 2-Way threat… let’s just say I’m happy I played them early in the season. As more and more teams face them, Caution: Ratings for this team may not accurately reflect their potential!

OFFENCE: A+ DEFENCE: B+ OVERALL: A-

ZACK’S FANTASY TEAM OF THE WEEK (WEEK 5):

QB (1): Ignacio Valdes Manzanedo (KISS MY INLAWS) – 25 Attempts / 18 Completions (72%), 273 Yards, 7 TDs, 0 INTs, 0 Sacks

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WR (1): Nicolas Curotte (BEER BELLY BRIGADE) – 8 Targets / 8 Receptions (100%), 120 Yards, 3 TDs

WR (2): Charles Olivier Vachon (THE INFANTRY) – 4 Targets / 4 Receptions (100%), 92 Yards, 3 TDs

WR (3): Vincent Benjamin (KISS MY INLAWS) – 9 Targets / 7 Receptions (77.78%), 95 Yards, 3 TDs

WR (4): Gabriel Wiseman (BRUINS) – 8 Targets / 8 Receptions (100%), 56 Yards, 2 TDs

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DB (1): Marc-André Lapointe (THE INFANTRY) – 5 Tackles, 1 INTs, 2 PDs

DB (2): Jahnai Lewis (ONESTOP) – 3 Tackles, 1 INT, 1 PD

DB (3): Felix Daoust (BEER BELLY BRIGADE) – 3 Tackles, 1 INT

DB (4): Marty Freedman (SILENT TICKLERS ) – 0 Tackles, 1 INT, 1 PD

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RUSHER (1): Zackary Alberts-Gill (KISS MY INLAWS) – 1 Tackle, 2 Sacks

GAMES OF THE WEEK:

EZW vs THE INFANTRY

ONESTOP vs HEAVENLY SONS

BEER BELLY BRIGADE vs SILENT TICKLERS

Prediction Record: 7-3

And that’s a wrap! Mid Season report cards are in and the rest of the season is ahead of us! For those of you who disagree with your rating – Prove me wrong, and for those who got a good grade – There is always someone aiming for your spot, so don’t let up! In the next few weeks we can take a look at potential award winners! If there are upcoming milestones you want me to cover, don’t be a stranger, let me know! If you want to see more accurate info about your teams, your players, your rivalries/history – send them to me! Also, check out the new episode of Calling the Audible – the official FPF podcast – available on Youtube and …. Probably somewhere else too. And always keep a look out at FPF’s Official Instagram page for updates and exclusive content!