Categories: Division E

Midseason Report Cards

Peeze’s Playbook

Week 5

By Paolo Della Rocca

Mid Season Report Cards

This is a long and arduous task.  Every writer hates doing it.  However, the overwhelming response from FPF nation is that players love it, so we continue to put ourselves through it season after season.

A quick word on my grading system.  Essentially I grade teams against the expectation I set for them before the season.  It isn’t the most fair way to do so as teams did not ask to be expected to do well prior to the season.  However, it provides easy content for me so I continue to do it this way.  As always, C means you’ve met your expectations.  Anything higher means you’ve surpassed expectations and below that means that your season is going worse than I thought it would.

Finally, I’ve included something new this year.  I am including each team’s opponent’s win percentage as a measure of trying to determine who has faced tough competition and who has faced the best of the best.  This is particularly relevant as we will be reflecting upon this by then end of the season as the selection committee will begin to discern which teams belong in the E1 or the E2 playoffs.

  1. Guardians (5-0): Guardians are simply in the wrong division.  It is definitely no fault of their own but they have essentially been beating every Tom, Dick and Harry this season (If the three were actual toddlers that is). Their next three games will either be a testament to this scenario or we will see them falter and end up out of their depth in the E1 playoffs (where I believe they are destined). That said…Mooooooooooooo

Key Players: Patrick St-Amand, Kevin Marcil, Etienne Vaillancourt

Predicted Record: 10-0

Grade: Moooooooooo-

Opp. Win%: 32%

 

  1. GloGang (5-0): Their resume is starting to truly look impressive.  They beat Rancerz and Clinkers who are two of the stronger teams. Arno Desjardins is a great athlete and while the team isn’t perfect they burn their tires on the track. Speed and youth are two things you can’t teach and GloGang has an embarrassment of both.

Key Players: Arno Desjardins, Sifax Kaced, Olivier Suri

Predicted Record: 10-0

Grade: B+

Opp Win%: 48%

 

  1. The U (4-1): Their only loss came against the now surging Fighting Flamingos.  They’ve been in control of almost every game so far this season.  They’ve been. Team I’ve liked for a while and they’re starting to live up to the hype of their early impact in FPF. I think that their toughest challenges are behind them and I expect them to be in the finals.  Add some hookers and cocaine and these guys will resemble the U in every way. The one thing that concerns me is the lack of forced turnovers and we’ll need to assess whether or not a larger sample size will reward this typically intelligent defence.

Key Players: Evan Frank, Russel Schwartz, Joe Kano 

Predicted Record: 9-1

Grade: A-

Opp Win%: 44%

 

  1. Los Avocados: I don’t care what GOTW is this week.  The Game of the Week for ALL OF FPF, is Los Avocados vs. Guardians.  What’s most impressive about Los Avocados resume at the moment is that they’ve played against one good teams. Savages and Bulldogs are young and athletic, Underdogs are better than most would know and EZW is probably the most impressive new team in Div.E this season. Yet they still have Guardians and OSP on their schedule.  This team will certain be considered battle tested.  More so than the millennials who use their name as a chief ingredient in toast would be considered in any case.

Key Players: Tom Zorko, Iliya Kravtsov, Joshua Vazquez

Predicted Record: 9-1

Grade: A+

Opp Win%: 52%

 

  1. Clinkers (4-1): The Clinkers lost a game and it appears to be the only challenging game on their schedule.  They have improved leaps and bounds and Marc-Andre Desaulniers has improved immeasurably from his FPF debut last season.  The thing that concerns me long term is that in the layoffs they will likely face a team that will shut down Luis Begin and Francois Martin.  This team is deep but more than often it simply runs through that tandem.  The big egos need to subside in order for all members of this team to contribute toward post season success.

Key Players: Luis Begin, Marc-Andre Desaulniers, Francois Martin

Predicted Record: (8-2)

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 52%

 

  1. Fighting Flamingos (3-2): Despite their rough start the Flamingos have now won three games.  Drew Keiller has thrown 12 touchdowns and 1 interception in the last three weeks.  They have been one of the best regular season teams for a while and coming off of a winter season championship, FF seem to be flying the course.  What? I don’t know it sounded nice as it rolled off the tongue. This team is missing some of the top end talent and flare of the winter season but there is something to be said for consistency.

Key Players: Myles Keiller, Drew Keiller, Brad Evans

Predicted Record: (7-3)

Grade: D+

Opp Win%: 46%

 

  1. Rancerz (4-1): The Rancerz have a solid defence that controls the pace of the game and their offence is starting to play a type of complimentary football that will truly make the team hard to beat.  Jeremie Ledoux reamains the one true question mark on this team.  He has all the talent to be one of FPF’s next best QBs however, he has also thrown 7 interceptions in two weeks.  Rancerz are beating teams they should but failed to win in their one true test (against GloGang).  With Bruins and Clinkers on the horizon, they will have plenty of opportunity to prove their worth.

Key Players: Guillaume Dagher, Riccardo Desrosiers, Maxime Ledoux

Predicted Record: (8-2)

Grade: C

Opp Win%: 42%

  1. Bruins (4-1): While their only loss came week 1 to Clinkers (a week that I put little stock in to begin with, it’s important to remember that they lost that game when they saw their quarterback Gabriel Wiseman go down with a sprained ankle. This team was prepared to deal with his loss as they new they’d be losing Wiseman to a European Vacation. While one may trip across the EU in search of a beautiful pen pal, the Bruins were laying the groundwork for success.  With Wisemand returning, Bruins seem to be in good shape but will face a barrage of contenders and trap games along the way.  All I know at this point is Euto Trip was truly an under appreciated teen summer flick.  Who knew Mike was Mieke? 

Key Players: Gabriel Wiseman, Antoine Huynh, Zach Zwirn

Predicted Record: (7-3)

Grade: B+

Opp Win%: 40%

 

  1. One Speed Power(4-1) by Alex Holowach: Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. The infant of Hiptown is now the man with the plan for One Speed: Power!  Early returns have been favorable for the young dragon slayer, Will Power, in his first crack at pivot. Concocted by Peeze like all good things, on a semi-used cocktail napkin, littered with peanut shells at the back of a dimly lit Tiki bar, while nursing a Mai Tai, this iteration of OSP was made possible by a gamble and some clever cap maneuvering. The switch from Peeze to Power netted them an additional 7 offensive cap points, allowing them to load up on high octane FPF ammunition like Mike Addona. The soft-handed Joseph James has been a revelation as well, establishing a quick rapport with Power and already surpassing his career high in TDs with 6 at the half.

 

Key Players: Will Power, Joseph James, Mike Addona

Predicted Record: (7-3) 

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 48%

 

  1. Underdogs (4-1): I do love that these guys can score.  That’s something that translates well in the post season.  Their strength of schedule is better than most teams have played against with similar records.  Underdogs have a very efficient red zone efficiency and that will allow us to predict future success.  That said after beating OSP and losing to Los Avocados, Underdogs will need to face Zone 6 Ballers, Number Juan and Savages who are three tough games in the second half of the season. Brett Rosenberg has already thrown 10 interceptions which is high but the team finds way to score points despite turning the ball over.

Key Players: Ryan Castiel, Sean Yoffe, Brett Rosenberg

Predicted Record: (7-3)

Grade: A+

Opp Win%: 52%

 

  1. Vultures (4-1): I have to give it to Andel Thomas Gordon.  He’s a smart and impactful defensive player but his ability as a team GM is truly something to behold.  He has built a defence that works as a unit and more importantly a team that was winning because of their stout defence when quarterback Bryan Harwood was struggling.  This team has added to their offensive output with an astounding 4 defensive touchdowns.  Their biggest challenges lie ahead but something has to be said for a team that can win even when circumstances aren’t favourable.

Key Players: Kevin Donnet, Benjamin McMahon, Owen Bujarsky

Predicted Record: (7-3)

Grade: B

Opp Win%: 40%

 

  1. Pension Plan (3-2): Since Vince Pisano hurt his shoulder and has recused himself from the QB position Pension Plan has started to worry me.  I don’t know if they can win without their play caller.  This may prove to be a lost season for one of the best low division franchises in FPF.  However, if this does somehow land them in the E2 playoffs it may see one of the best teams in the division competing for a trophy against some teams that may not be at their level.  While Pisano may consider retirement if his shoulder does not improve I’d like to remind him that FPF offers no pension.

Key Players: Vince Pisano, Anthony Siggia, Junior Spera

Predicted Record: (4-6)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 40%

 

  1. Zone 6 Ballers (4-1): Zone 6 Ballers have all the makings of a successful FPF team.  They’ve been good but what may harm them down the line?  The inability to time travel. This team has a lot of talent.  They are quick and for the most part have guys who can make plays.  Jeansley Valbonard has the ability to play a concise version of the game and the speed to break the rusher and add to his aerial attack.  He takes takes too many chances and it’s. Resulted in too many turnovers.  The defence lacks some communication and organization.  Give them a few seasons and I expect this already good team to be truly competitive.  For now they will beat teams where they have the better athletes and lose to teams who can execute game plans.

Key Players: Jeansley Valbonard, Alessandro Barazzoni, Kurt Seguin

Predicted Record: (8-2)

Grade: A+

Opp Win%: 56%

 

  1. Los Banditos (3-2): There may be a change of heart soon as they have gone 1-2 in their last three games.  I like the LB defence but, their offence hasn’t gotten going yet and they’ll need to if they expect to be one of the great teams in the division.  Perhaps the most concerning thing about Los Banditos thus far is that they’ve faced the 8th easiest schedule so far.  Still, the team is playing well if a little sluggish.  I would imagine they have a strong second half of the season.

Key Players: Vincent Benjamin, Loic Savoiz-Seguin, 

Predicted Record: (6-4)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 42%

 

  1. Loyola’s Finest (3-2): They’ve been a little inconsistent as of late.  They are 1-2 in their last three games.  They have a -9 +/- thus far and yet they have looked good on most weeks.  Their record seems to be bolstered by the fact that they played against Pension Plan while they were set to deal with the Vince Pisano injury.  Their next 3 games are tough and they seem to be an arm injury away from what may prove a 6 game losing skid.  It’s a losing skid in a predictive alternate future but a it’s a future none the less.

Key Players: David Lombardi, Gabriel Bardetti, George Spano

Predicted Record: (5-5)

Grade: C-

Opp Win%: 60%

 

  1. Bulldogs (3-2): Halfway through the season Bulldogs have 10 sacks and 11 interceptions.  They are quick and a little arrogant.  However, this young team knows how good they are and can be.  This team is allowing a full two points less on average against their opponents as compared to when their opponents play other teams.  That is no small feat.  This is a true indicator that their defence is worth watching from this point forward.  Jordan Schwartz has been playing well and his 5.25:1 TD to int ratio is consistent with quarterbacks who can expect to see success in this league.

Key Players: Jordan Schwartz, Noah Groper, Jason Schwartz

Predicted Record: (7-3)

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 44%

 

  1. EZW (3-2): The question coming into the season was:  “How well will Jeremy White do at Quarterback”. The answer is…he is very good.  Charles Olivier Lavigne is doing his best Jeremy White impression at wide receiver and this offence is virtually indefensible.  Except of course, in the game against Savages.  The hell?!?!?!?  In any case I’m impressed with what I’ve seen so far.

Key Players: Jeremy White, CO Lavinge, Samuel Emilio Pelchat

Predicted Record: (6-4)

Grade: B+

Opp Win%: 44%

 

  1. Number Juan (4-1): I know my podcasts host we’re very high on the racially insensitive in my absence on the podcast.  On the other hand, I’m simply unsure.  They have played against the weakest schedule this season.  So we do not yet know if this is a mediocre team beating on defenceless children or a strong team who belongs on the soon to be 16 head Mount Rushmore that is the E-1 playoff.  In their only game against a team with a winning record (in week 5) they were handed an L.  Excuse me while I continue to have my doubts on an otherwise, very talented team.

Key Players: David DiPaola, Francis Perron, Mat Leblanc

Predicted Record: (6-4)

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 24%

 

  1. Savages (3-2): Their only two loses have come against undefeated teams.  This team may not surprise the best teams in the division but they aren’t a cakewalk either. Savages beat a tough EZW team and still have a tough upcoming schedule ahead.  The teams they’ve played against have a 60% win rate and I wouldn’t be surprised if Savages will have played agains the toughest schedule when this season comes to a close.

Key Players: David Lombart, Ryan Vanslet, Felix Boivin

Predicted Record: (5-5)

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 60%

 

  1. ORSA (3-2): This is a good, young team.  Antonio Spezia is a very effective quarterback who needs to expand his repertoire for certain circumastances. Like many new FPF quarterbacks, Spezia needs to become more effective in the redbone and on 3rd and fourth and medium to long situations.  The second half of this team’s schedule is an endurance course and this will be problematic considering they’ve already played a pair of difficult games this season.

Key Players: Antonio Spezia, Matteo Marino, Anthony Cardilo

Predicted Record: (4-6)

Grade: A

Opp Win%: 40%

 

  1. Average Joes (3-2): When they were 3-0 I was not convinced due to the schedule ease in the first three weeks.  UP to this point in the season the Average Joe’s have had the third easiest schedule to date. We’ve seen them slip up when playing against strong upstarts such as themselves.  They only play one experienced front runner between now and the end of the season but they will have more challenging games ahead.  If they can win most of these games I may be ready tho shout, shout once more and finally let it all out.

Key Players: Jesse St.James, Nick Pascarella, Steve Besner

Predicted Record: (5-5)

Grade: B

Opp Win%: 32%

 

  1. Broken Ankles (2-3): Finally, a name that correctly reflects my FPF experience as a player.  More seriously when I saw that Jonathan Lemieux can throw in Div.E I screamed no like an 80’s action movie (or that cut scene from Revenge of the Sith).  However, this season has not proven to be entirely easy for this team chalked with hire division experience.  Is chalked the right word?  Let’s say that it is.  Their two wins are in a one point game that could have gone either way and against Krakens who have struggled mightily this season.  I’m having a hard time getting a grasp on how the season will end for Broken Ankles.  It will largely depend on which Jonathan Lemieux we get from week to week.

Key Players: Jonathan Lemieux, JD Joly, Simon Richard

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: D-

Opp Win%: 46%

 

  1. A-Side (2-3): A-Side was one of the teams I thought would dominate the division.  However, roster inconsistency has plagued them the way it has affected most teams.  Jared Buck has only played three games and luckily one of them was against Tropic Thunder who could have been beaten without the Blonde Bomber.  A-Side’s season has not yet been Cuckoo for Coco Puffs.  I will say that they will have had a moderately tough schedule however, they have lost all of the more difficult games to this point. 

Key Players: Jared Buck, Justin Santillo, Brenden Sabloff

Predicted Record: (4-6)

Grade: D+

Opp Win%: 48%

 

  1. Ducks (1-3-1): Ducks seemingly now full-time quarterback Mat Domon remarked that the competition in Division E was a lot better than he thought it would be.  Domon must have had his ego harmed when he lost to former teammate/replacement at quarterback Jonathan Lemieux in week 4.  However, with this team’s talent and size I am truly shocked to see that they haven’t won more than a single game this season.  If they can figure things ou and IF they get into the playoffs they may make a Cinderella run.  That is to say an engaging and seemingly miraculous effort not a wobbly effort that one endures with a single slipper scamper.

Key Players: Mat Domon, Renaud St-Laurent, Julien St.Laurent

Predicted Record: (4-5-1)

Grade: F

Opp Win%: 62%

 

  1. Les Amateurs des Sacks (1-4): After they dismantled Oakheart in week 1, we assumed the Sack Lovers would be strong down the stretch.  Since then, they have struggled to gain traction. Since then, they have only scored three touchdowns once and that too was in a losing effort. They have a combined 10 touchdown passes and that simply won’t cut it in a league that relies heavily on the passing game. Vincent Dechateles, has been a revelation.  His 211 yards and 4 touchdowns is a great effort by the lightly seasoned FPF player.

Key Players: Vincent Dechateles, Jean-Christophe Allard

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 32%

 

  1. Sandbaggers (0-5): There are probably more deserving teams of this slot. Sandbaggers are a little lost on defence, one side bails too deep and allows underneath routes to go for huge gains and the other side allows easy scores at the front of the endzone.  On offence the route running is atrocious.  However, the shining light is that they are better than they appear.  A big part of that seems to be the switch to Greg Lee at quarterback.  He has a great arm, calls good plays and executes well in and just outside of the red zone. This is a good sign for a team that has been pretty bad for most of the season.

Key Players: Greg Lee, Alex Belanger, Olivier Goddard

Predicted Record: (2-8)

Grade: C

Opp Win%: 50%

 

  1. XD (2-3): XD’s season has not gone according to plan this season. It will unfortunately get worse before it gets better.  They have a murderer’s row of games ahead and the rotating cast of quarterbacks is not going to work.  Also, it hasn’t worked.  The only way for a QB to improve is with more reps.  Choose a guy, stick with a guy, be patient as guy gets better.

Key Players: Derek Sigler, Zak Sigler, Noah Levine

Predicted Record: (8-2)

Grade: A+

Opp Win%: 40%

 

  1. Dude, Where’s the Endzone? (1-4):  So they’ve been awful. Quarterback Stef Fennes seems to turn his brain off at times in a game.  They have played two games with five players and it has looked like and been a disaster at times.  DWTE have played against a tough group of teams so far this season and while I thought they would struggle it isn’t necessarily representative of their ability.  Through week 5 they have played against the toughest schedule in division E.  They need to pick up a quick couple of wins as they go against some of the divisions because they won’t get another one after week 7.

Key Players: Chris Brockwell, Riley Pincombe, Stef Fennes

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: C

Opp Win%: 72%

 

  1. Green Means Go! (1-4): Roster construction seems to be the main issue for this group.  It’s a large roster and at times they didn’t have players in the best position for success.  Murderface Shawn Mudrosky has a rocket.  It takes a special kind of receiver to hold on to his blister burners.  With having a steady group of receivers line up for each drive, GMG will improve by season’s end.

Key Players: Brian Martin, Karim Yasmine, Cortney Keeble

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: F

Opp Win%: 44%

 

  1. Grinders (1-3-1): I thought that the higher division experience would pay off for Grinders.  Sure, they were awful in division 4 in the winter, but the game has to appear slower 2 divisions down.  Am I right?  It doesn’t appear so.  Now through the fault of rhetorical questions I do seem to be talking to myself but it’s ok, I view sanity as a sliding scale.  They do seem to keep games in striking distance.  However, you do need to score to win games and Grinders have not done that on a consistent basis.

Key Players: Benjamin Reid, Felix Arnaud Laflamme-Desjardins, Pierre Kalar

Predicted Record: (2-7-1)

Grade: D-

Opp Win%: 46%

 

  1. Jean Guy (1-4): For a while it did seem that Jean Guy ran so far away from FPF.  Their return was welcomed but as expected it has been unceremonious.  Christophe Chartrand has had a paltry 1:1 Td to int ratio.  This team’s refusal to use Simon Laporte more frequently on offence is a stubbornness akin to arguing with a flat-earther.  It’s not complicated, he’s your best player, get the ball in his hand.  Jean Guy have had a tough schedule so far but they do have a couple of winnable games ahead.  Unfortunately while they’re playing better than their record, I don’t think they’ll take advantage of many of those games.

Key Players: Simon Laporte, Emile Lamy, Jonathan Brule

Predicted Record: (2-8)

Grade: C

Opp Win%: 70%

 

  1. Degenosaurus Rex(1-4): Coach Foti Evangelista is helping this group improve.  He’s installed the Joey Taylor offence, and Sean Martin is learning tho the game simply hasn’t slowed down for him yet.  There is talent on this team but taking advantage of that talent is always difficult.  They aren’t completing enough passes to be effective, and they aren’t scoring enough to beat most teams.  Their top tier schedule will continue to hurt them the rest of the way as the fallen lizards play some of the toughest teams in the division. D-Rex, take this as a season to learn.

Key Players: Kyle Monat, Andre Di Miele, Massimo Cannucci

Predicted Record: (2-8)

Grade: C-

Opp Win%: 60%

 

  1. Replacements (1-4): Replacements were one of the least deserving playoff teams this past winter.  They won their division despite not going .500.  I actually expected that to propel them into greater success this season.  However, I believe the team is too large and will not be competitive unless they can put their best players on the field at all times. Frank Teoli-Colatrella seems to be improving in some way but can be easily frustrated.  There are some wins on their schedule ahead of them so I expect them to get to the playoffs for the second season n a row.

Key Players: Frank Teoli Colatrella, Rober Di Ielsi, Gabriel Mallozzi

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: C-

Opp Win%: 60%

 

  1. Krakens (1-4): I thought Krakens were going to be really good.  I was wrong.  Anthony Beauchamp Frezza has only played one game.  If you think one mangoes not make a team, explain that to Krakens right now.  The most difficult part about breaking down Krakens is that I don’t really know what’s wrong with them.  Let me restate, there’s a lot wrong.  I do not know where they should begin to fix the issues.  Perhaps simplifying the offence and moving the chains will help Daniel Santos Viera improve.  For the moment his 13 interceptions have made it impossible to be competitive in any games.

Key Players: Anthony Beauchamp-Frezza, Helder Santos Vieira, 

Predicted Record: (1-9)

Grade: F

Opp Win%: 48%

 

  1. Brewers (1-4): A big win over Les Amateurs des Sacks is a nice sign.  They then got torn up by a talented Moo worthy Guardians.  However, that was to be expected.  I think things will start to look up for Brewers.  I think as the second half of the schedule eases up, we will se Brewers in the post season. Hopefully by then, Jeffery Lefevbre learns to protect the ball a little better. Brewers are in season 2 of growing pains but, unlike the like named 1980’s tv drama, it should have less tear inducing moments than the initial offering.

Key Players: Erik Pawlusiak, Christopher Morin, Dwight Browne

Predicted Record: (3-7)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 68%

 

  1. Lemons (0-5): The first of their mistakes is going with a red jersey.  I’ve never seen or heard of a blood lemon.  That said, shit, it sounds amazing.  Their first two games saw them losing to new, but talented teams by 6 points.  However, it’s gotten worse as they continue to play stronger and stronger teams.  Their schedule doesn’t particularly lighten up so I think they’ll need the beatings to make them wise.

Key Players: Sean Macallister, Samer Raydan

Predicted Record: (0-10)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 72%

 

  1. Tropic Thunder(0-5): If Tyler Grondin is your man, you need to make sure he takes every snap.  He’s taken too many sacks at the moment ( a whopping 19) and he needs to learn how to call plays that will get the ball out of his hands quickly.  The roster is not what captain Alexi Dubois hoped for coming in but there is talent.  He needs to preach patience as their young quarterback comes along.

Key Players: Richie Mondesir, Alexi Dubois, Emre Sagir

Predicted Record: (0-10)

Grade: C-

Opp Win%: 45%

 

  1. Oakheart (0-5): Much like many of the worst teams in the division, Oakheart has had one of the toughest paths thus far,  this is a bizarre trend that I cease to find a reason for.  Oaksheart aren’t awful. The need to learn how to run routes, play defence and call proper offensive plays.  It sounds like a lot but the team has talent.  Turning this talent into more than 24 points is going to be difficult.  I said I was going to help them and I will.  The email is coming guys…sorry midseason is hard on the media team.

Key Players: Alberto Iannalfo, Bruno Doucet, Lukas Alexander

Predicted Record: (0-10)

Grade: D

Opp Win%: 68%

 

Sunday’s Stubborn Stella

Man doing this doesn’t get any easier or shorter.  Still it forces me to take a moment to look at all the teams and assess their progress so far

For further info on this division and the rest of the league feel free to tune into Calling the Audible where Moe Khan, Simon Dagenais, Eagle at Master Control and GM Koletheras will whether or not I was right about any of this.  Tune in to the Facebook page for more info about the podcast.  Please feel free to reach me @peezefpf on twitter or @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook to let me know about the various ways in which I was wrong.