Ghost Goats, Ralph Waldo Emerson and a Poker Reference

Dramatis Personae 

For those not familiar with Latin or who have never held a playbill in their hands, this section is to offer a quick introduction to the people responsible for the media content for this division. I will list them and then craft a series of lies so that the actual content in each paragraph becomes a veritable Where’s Waldo.

(Yes, the first part of this article is ostensibly the same as every season’s week 1 article. Every article and every podcast is someone’s first afterall).

Peeze (aka Paolo Della Rocca): Due to FPF, most people who know me know me as Peeze. I’ll be your guide through division D this season.  It is my job to inform and entertain.  My style is a little off-beat but I’d like to think my readers are what Ralph Waldo Emerson described as follows: “Who so would be a man must be a nonconformist”.  It’s going to be an unbalanced, and sometimes psychedelic ride through the season.  I hope you do enjoy it. I will do my best to be fair and balanced while being firmly entrenched in my biases. 

I want my work to be as interactive as possible so please feel free to reach out to me on Facebook (where my name is Peeze Della Reeze), Instagram (pdellarocca) or twitter @PeezeHSS. I’ve played in the league for a long time.  I’ve also helped a lot of players and teams with play calling and concepts so if you’re new feel free to contact me to ask for help.  FPF is a great community and as competitive as we are, we all want to help you and don’t want anyone to be trash.

Moe Khan: Broadcaster and scorekeeper extraordinaire.  Moe Khan and I have worked together for a long time.  Much like Micahel Scott of the office, he loves inside jokes and hopes one day to be a part of one.  Moe hosts the weekly podcast Calling the Audible where we will break down each division every single week!

The Eagle at Master Control: Touching knobs and pushing buttons; Eagle may never be able to keep his hands to himself.  Before you insist that I call HR, remember that without him you’d never be able to hear my sensuous, sultry voice or see my pretty blue eyes on the podcast.  He keeps the entire ship afloat and that’s why we hate him.

Calling the Audible: Sure it’s a podcast.  It’s also a character. It goes off the rails continuously and no one can keep it on the rails.  We record it after games every Wednesday and we will do our best to entertain while we cover the entire league.  Please subscribe to our channel on You Tube or on Spotify/most major podcast platforms.  The weekly podcast should be out every Friday morning.

Additional Characters/Content:

Game of The Week: Chris Rivest is the dude you’ll be seeing at select games now and again.  He’ll be filming our game of the week.  This is a feature where we highlight a game (in varying divisions) each week and we get to watch an FPF game from the comfort of your own YouTube.

Instagram: Lance Daniel prowls the sidelines and lurks for all FPF story lines and Drama.  Follow us on instagram for daily FPF content from polls, to videos and all sorts of action.  This is a great way to interact with the league and truly make this an interactive experience. 

Photography: Week 2 is picture week.  It’s the time of the season that we take team pictures and individual profile pics for players who do not have one. Additionally, you may notice James D’Andrea snapping pics at the fields. We do this to add to our content. Our Articles, podcasts and social media posts try to capture you at your best and worst moments.  

The Roadshow: Every season culminates with a celebration of flag football known as the roadshow.  We set up at the field and broadcast the championship games complete with play-by-play, color, multiple camera angles and replay challenges.  It really is a special experience!

Musings, Ramblings, Lies and Other Assortments

• Incredible thought:  There are so many movies that have a take on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Why have none of them included the Goats of Christmas past, present and future?
• I wonder if Primetime will make the change to Nick Richard at Quarterback.  He has a 73:22 TD:Int ratio in his career and is under the division D QB cap.
• Yavar Ashrafi’s division E fever dream got off to a rough start but I do like Wade Williams leading the L8 offense season long.
• So if the ghosts are goats, their cute brand of clumsy, their incapacity for language and their need to eat ghost grass can all allow for specific hijinks.
• Well, our stay at Parc St-Michel was short lived.  After one frustrating, disastrous week, FPF will no longer be hosting games at this location.
• Selwyn Old Boys seemingly had trouble showing up on back to back nights.  They took a forfeit.
• Danny D’Amour has returned to FPF and division E better take notice he caught 10 of 14 targets for 115 yards and 4 touchdowns in the season opener.
• The GOATS can be voiced by Tom Brady, Michael Jordan and Nicholas Cage.
• Marc-Andre Desaulniers saw 4th and Shlong take a lead with 6 plays remaining.  With three plays left he took a shot in the endzone and was intercepted.  He’s been away a little and next time in the position I imagine he finds a way to give himself two redzone shots rather than one deep attempt with three plays left.
• The Mighty 6 were able to yield an 11 play drive without allowing a score and hold on for the win.  That’s an impressive display of willpower.
• I was expecting to see Jamaal Roach throwing for Ghosts.  Instead, I saw Malakai Roach throwing for the ethereal group.
• Don’t Goats have a great approval rating amongst Soccer Moms and young Children alike? It’s like Christmas at a petting Zoo, but with a message.
• I’ve been preaching the gospel of Julien Proulx forever and I’ve been rewarded for his efforts.  In two games he has 9 catches, 154 yards, 2 TD and an int.

Memories, Hallucinations and Observations 

This is the section where I ramble on and recap some games from weeks past. Given that I can’t be at every game a lot of the information I get I do so by reporting. I speak to other media members and scorekeepers for keys that may not be evident on the statsheet.  I’d also love to talk to you about your games.  Feel free to hit me up to talk flag. I’m always down.

In All Their Glory

The Replacements have made some key additions. The trio of Kevin Donnet, Andel Thomas-Gordon and Stefano Spagnuolo bring a lot of athleticims but, more importantly they bring a TON of FPF knowledge.  This is why I was surprised by the outcome of this game.  They took a 24-21 loss against Glory Boyz who’ve moved up from Division E/6 in week 1.  Instead of welcoming them to the division with a rude awakening, Replacements let them off the hook.

Glory Boyz seemed to play a soft 4-1/cover 3 defense all game long.  Rather than take what was available to him (double route flat defenders, intermediate slot routes, short outside hooks etc). The one area where Frankie Teoli-Colatrella took advantage of the defense was by hitting snapper Kevin Donnet who will likely be continually open against this type of defense. Donnet caught all of his 6 targets for 77 yards.  Still, given the lack of adjustments a methodical approach would have been best for the Replacements offense. They were rewarded with 3 extra possessions by Stefano Spagnuolo, Ramses Adrian and Robert Di Ielsi.  However, despite the drop coverage played by the Glory Boyz Frankie T-C kept trying his luck deep.

Michael Hiotis also had his struggles which is anticipated for any quarterback when they move up a division.  He was intercepted three times  but he helped his cause by picking off a pass in his own right (as did Jimmy Papaspyros and Peter Cote).  Moreover, I was impressed by how Glory Boyz responded to a quick score.  After a two play drive had them down 7-0 Hiotis hit Massimo “pay that man his” Monniz on back to back plays to answer as quickly as they were questioned.  Still, a late interception thrown by Michael Hiotis risked the result late in the game. However, the final drive would end 3 yards short of continuing the next drive.  Glory Boyz went on to continue their impressive start in Div D with a 46-15 win over the experienced Threat Level Midnight in their second game of the opening week.

A Vulture in Hand

A vulture in hand, means you can’t throw stones. Wait, that can’t be it. A vulture in hand sinks ships. Nope. A vulture in hand is the triumph of culture that overpowers nationality.  That’s it.

Kiss my Vulture is a good team. David De Andrade is coming off of a co-ed championship with Ignacio Valdes Manzanedo (read Iggy Magnets), James Drysdale and Jeremy Francouer (who made two incredible catches en route to a championship win) and many other notable FPF veterans.  The game started with fireworks as Dave Deandrade connected with James Drysdale for a 40 yard touchdown on the first play and they added the extra point while Mad Dogs were still zipping up their flies. Mad Dogs responded in kind by dragging the game down into the mud.

This strategy was effective given that the Mud Dogs really struggled to move the ball at times. Tyler Hyllande and Brandon Murphy combined for a mere 11 completions and 120 yards passing.  The game turned in a moment’s notice for Mud Dogs who seemed to be poised in posting the upset.  A 10 yard touchdown strike to Alexi Dubois that, when combined with a successful extra point, would put KMV ahead by the eventual final score of 21-20. The following first down would see James Drysdale step into a passing lane and essentially end the game with an interceptions. 

In What League?

On Calling the Audible (the weekly FPF podcast) we joked about the Former All-Stars team name.  To be clear we weren’t being flippant.  We legitimately want to know what league they were All-Stars in.  FPF tracks such designations so we know the players on Trapstars who have that pedigree but Future All-Stars don’t have the same distinctions.  That said, they did not match up well against the reigning division 5B champions.

Former All-Stars had 8 possessions in which they were only able to total 8 first downs. After an initial 12 yard gain the first drive ended on a turnover ron downs. A quick pass and a 11 yard touchdown scamper by Cooper Young would have the rookie team down early.  Things went from bad to worse as Fabrice Robillard was intercepted on his next play by young superstar Ryan Garber.  This second short field attempt would allow for a 3 yard punch in by Garber two plays later.  This definitely set the tone for the game.

Former All-Stars were sent reeling.  The lack of experience had them gasping for air akin to a scene where a room is filling with water. Save for a 16 yard run by Robillard they wouldn’t see a first down until there were only three plays left in the game.  There was a bright spot for Former All-Stars.  Alex Papineau did intercept former Finals MVP Cooper Young twice.  However, Trapstars just did what they seemingly always do.  They controlled the game the entire time, held a lead and didn’t look back.  They won this one 33-0.

Smokey’s Hot on Your Tail

I was excited to see if Bandits would be able to push Lockdown in their season opener.  Manu Allard-Roy, Marc Andre Lapointe, Kerdley Micourt and Salim Tayae is an excellent foundation upon which to build a defense.  However, they would go into this game without presumed starting quarterback Cecil Belanger.  In his absence Allard-Roy and Lapointe took reps behind the snapper.  The extra 4 possessions was too much for the Bandits to overcome.

Buck Aneer is one of the top passers in this division.  He was able to lead Lockdown East Bound and Down on a continual basis.  Aneer must have been drooling with a chance to get bck out onto the field after the Athlon combine. Rhys-Morgan Tracy was a start of that event and he connected with him 3 times for a touchdown in the second half.  Morgan-Tracy had an impact as well pushing the quarterbacks into poor decisions and sacking Manu Allard-Roy for a safety as well. Matching the 3 touchdown effort was Louis Messier-Lavallee.

It would appear the 47 points against the Bandits defense would be a lot given the stallwarts on this defense.  They did in fact lose 47-28 but, Marc-Andre Lapointe intercepted a stray pass and Ritchie Mondesier did knock down a pass as well (another big time piece on this defense).  In reality the turnovers created more opportunities than Lockdown would have had in most games.  Lockdown would score 7 times on 7 redzone trips while also allowing a 100% red zone efficiency rate. Luckily Bandits were able to right the ship as they would later win 40-30 against the athletic Blue Dreamers.  

Deluxe Drinks Package

Losing a championship final scars.  It remains with you every time after when you take the field.  It’s a low that usually takes weeks to recover from. Your friends and family may think you’re being ridiculous, but to you, your teammates and anyone who’s experienced that let down, this is a real feeling.  The calendar being compressed by lockdowns also meant that Primetime had 6 days to recover from their blowout loss to Primetime.

The division 6 runner up took the field in week one without winter’s starter Jacob Soles.  It appears as though they’re in for the season without last season’s pivot.  Instead, rusher extraordinaire Ethan Adrian lined up in shotgun.  It was not quite the start he would have imagined for himself.  He went on to be intercepted by Kory Dugas Beaulieu, Tristan Scandar and Alexandre Pilon.  It’s difficult to move up into new divisions but Primetime did hold their own in the opener. Nick Richard created a turnover on the first drive of the game, Alessio Muro had an interception in the second half after a 31 yard run to make the comeback possible and they would score late to make the 25-22 loss a respectable score.

Wide Open Bar however seemed just a little more refined in this game. A safety sack by Louis Lussier would be key in keeping the game out of reach.  Jean Lussier did turn the ball over twice but he generally, managed the game well.  His connection with Louis Lussier was evident as the two connected with three touchdowns while Tristan Scandar would round out the scoring en route to their first win of the season.  

Declarations of Bravado 

This is my favorite thing to do.  While I dislike predictions in sports, I do like making grandiose, largely-unfounded statements about teams and the seasons that they’ve yet to play.  The main reason I love doing it is that a few moments upon reading the article neither you or I will remember what I wrote. For a fleeting moment you will largely be offended by where I’ve ranked your team.  Isn’t that what life is all about?

1. Glory Boyz (2-0): They did beat two teams that I expect to struggle this season.  However, they did so in dominating fashion.  Keep an eye out for this upstart.
2. Trap Stars (2-0): Trap Stars are coming off of a championship. The Garber family of teams are intelligent and run a difficult system to defend. I know they moved up a division but they will be dangerous. Once they get a lead, they’re almost impossible to come back against.
3. Team Timbo (1-0-1): The latest shuffle lands Tim Horner at QB. After the defense bailed him out after a rough first game, Horner looked much more confident against Ghosts. Expect Team Timbo to win in a variety of ways.
4. Lockdown (1-0): Lockdown were exposed in the final against Trapstars. I still think they have one of the top QBs and offenses in the division. Let’s not forget Rhys Morgan-Tracy’s 4.3 speed at the Athlon Combine.
5. La Cite Des Jetons (1-0-1): They put up 43 points in their opener against a team who just competed in the finals. Something tells me that Jules Regimbald ato Justin Tremblay is a connection we’ll need to keep an eye on.  
6. Kiss My Vultures (1-0): A one point victory for one of the best rosters in the division is a little disappointing. However, Mad Dogs are better than many expect and KMV were able to withstand one of David De Andrade’s lesser starts. 
7. Blue Dreamers (0-1): The talent on this team is outstanding. If Mathew Simard is indeed the full time starter a lot will ocme down to whether or not he can be a little better than he was in week 1.
8. Killer Rays (1-1): Firstly, the best receiving corps in the division is Curtis Ryan, Tyler Gurberg, Evan White and Donovan Hinds. There is no secondly…
9. 4th and Shlong (1-0): This team intrigues me. I wonder what fun Daron Migdesyan and John Madimenos have cooked up.
10. Save the Turftles (1-1): I’m a fan. I like them a lot despite their flaws. Vincent Duchense hauled in 2 touchdowns on what is becoming a very unpredictable target tree. 

Visions of the World of Tomorrow

These are my picks for the week.  I may have changed them from when I picked them on Calling the Audible but that just doubles the chance that I’ll pick your team. My picks are in bold because fortune favors the bold.

Wide Open Bar		Team Timbo
Dirty Dawgs		Lockdown
Ghosts		Bandits
Undertakers		Glory Boyz
Primetime		Selwyn Old Boys
Replacements		Big Dracos
Peerless Scarred		La Cité des Jetons
Dirty Dawgs		Centaures
Centaures		Killer Rays
Selwyn Old Boys		Undertakers
Save The Turftles		L8
VTown		Kiss My Vulture
Mad Dogs		Trapstars
Save The Turftles		Primetime
The Mighty 6		4th & Shlong
Big Dracos		Former All-Stars
Kiss My Vulture		Blue Dreamers
Threat Level Midnight		Replacements

Sunday’s Sipping Seaquarium

For those who have any thoughts, commentary or complaints, I am very easy to find.  I’m @peezehss on twitter, @pdellarocca and Peeze Della Reeze on facebook.  You can also take a chance by emailing me at [email protected] but I don’t check it because it’s a death trap of junk emails all trying to sell me grub treatments and ravioli molds.  I really need to use incognito mode.

Folks, if your team is struggling, Eagle, Moe, (any of the media guys really), and I love talking flag. Let us know how we can help, let us know if you have any questions.  Hey, even if you have some incredible thoughts, I’m always down for a foggy and faded descent into introspection.

Remember that each week you can join the party on our Facebook page or at www.youtube.com/flagplus on our weekly podcast: Calling the Audible.  We are still trying to figure out when the shows will be available and how to get it live on air.  

Till next week, I want to thank you falettineme be mice elf agin!