Gardens, Wins, Losses and Small Boats – FlagPlus Football League

Peeze’s Playbook

by Paolo Della Rocca

Week 1

It has occurred to me that a current theme for FPF media members is to take shots at me for my long-winded writing style or my seemingly random introductions. To which I am reminded that interesting people have interesting things to say. It is not surprising then that the short-sighted have such limited things to say in the space where they can be most creative.

This weekend is big for two reasons. It’s Week 2 (don’t forget picture day) but it’s also Victoria Day Weekend, which means gardening weekend for the green thumbs of the northern hemisphere. I am one such green thumb. For those who follow me on social media you know that I’m all about beer, food and flowers.

Nothing helps me relax before an FPF game like a stroll through my garden. Mid-May is the flowering of my lilac trees, which act as a prelude to my peonies and dahlias before finally my rose garden is in full bloom. Saturday and Sunday mornings from here on out will be filled with the relaxing feeling of tying and trimming tomato plants and relieving zucchini plants of their delicious flowers.

Friends, nothing is more welcoming as walking through this symbiotically living, breathing garden on a daily basis. I get home to this wondrous site every day after work as the season continues and truly appreciate the gift of life and the perpetual growth of other living organisms.

This is not unlike an FPF season. It begins with the sprouting of hope and continues on into the flowering of a hopefully successful season. Those whose seasons are poorly managed will see their dream wilt and die while those who tend to their needs will have a long wonderful season that will inevitably (if you excuse the expression) come up roses. Let’s look at which buds flowered in Week 1!

Division D-1

Running with the Devil

The Diablos hit the ground running. The offence started with the ball and François Martin marched down the field before completing a 7-yard square out at the front of the end zone for the first of Marc-Andre Lapointe’s touchdowns. Backyard Bruisers answered quickly as Chris Pendenza hit Rich Humes for a quick touchdown. But the Diablos kept the lead going into halftime with a deep strike to Alexis Gaumont and a red zone score to Alex Noel.

Despite going 0-1 with a 25-20 loss to Diablos, the Backyard Bruisers looked decent in this game, if not completely ready for the season. The Backyard Bruisers have a lot of talent, and while Richard Humes scored twice in this game and Derrick Fontana caught another touchdown as well, the Bruisers will need to define how they will use their ancillary pieces. They have a lot of gifted receivers; if Christopher Pendenza learns to make the best use of them this team will be one of the top offences in Division D-1. For now however, the Diablos win and move to 1-0 while the Backyard Bruisers look to rebound after a Week 1 loss.

Frosty Cold Out of the Gate

Chris Rivest can be one of the most frustrating players to play against. His ability to move and buy time in the pocket can drive one to drink (which is responsible because said person would likely need a ride back after drinking. Let’s be safe out there people). This game was no exception. Frosty Bronsons rusher Kevin St-Pierre did sack Rivest once, but for the most part the Bronsons’ defence struggled to find an answer for the awkwardly paced attack of Les Verges Aeriennes. Alexandre Pereda led the team in catches while the deep strikes went to Justin Cerantola (who made up for an early dropped touchdown by scoring later).

Frosty Bronsons did not look terrible to start the season. Alex Holowach led the way catching 5 passes for 53 yards and a touchdown. Newcomer Andre Frederick was involved in the offence and had an impact on defence, where he closed on receivers and took away reads all game long. With a chance to win the game with a couple of plays left, James Nowakowski received the snap on a fourth and goal from inside the 1-yard line and quickly delivered the ball to his right toward snapper Terry “Thumbs” Tam. Tam got his hands on the ball but given the tight traffic he was unable to pull it in and Les Verges Aeriennes ended with a 27-25 win over Frosty Bronsons.

Ghetter Gospel Unread in Week 1

Dylan Garber made some great strides last season as an FPF quarterback. This season he appears to have taken those strides and is ready to truly dominate the division. In his season debut he threw 6 touchdowns on 18 completions. Younger brother Ryan Garber threw three passes and turned two of those into touchdowns. Latest acquisition Nathaniel Neidermann had a huge impact catching five touchdowns and intercepting opposing quarterback Dilan Daoust twice (Phil Cutler added the other interception for the K-G-P-R-A defence).

Dilan Daoust was far from perfect in his debut as the Go Ghetters quarterback depite being surrounded with talent with the likes of Jordan Moses, Jeremy Anderson and Mathieu Menniti. Daoust relied heavily on the aforementioned Anderson as he caught 7 passes 113 yards and a touchdown. What seems bizarre was Dilan Daoust’s inability to utilize Jordan Moses, whose only catch was a 15-yard touchdown. In the end, I think this game is pretty indicative of who these teams are at the beginning of the season. Go Ghetters are a talented group with a new quarterback who is learning the position as well as learning how to work within the construct provided to him. KGP RA kept their core together and made intelligent additions to their roster. With their timing, familiarity and spacing intact, KGP RA won this game 51-18.

Division D-2

Goobers Look Goofy in Opener

When looking at both the rosters for Ravens and Goofy Goobers I had preconceived notions coming into the season. The Ravens looked too strong for D-2 and if Alex David could limit turnovers, Ravens should be dominant. Goofy Goobers came into the season without Jarryd Taylor but did come into the season with successful tackle football quarterback Styles Trudeau and all-star receiver Shamar Joassaint.

The first drive looked like it may have blown up the blueprint for the Ravens. Alex David scrambled to the right while in the red zone and chucked it up and into the hands of Shamar Joassaint for an early interception. However, Danio Addona would not let the game and season get off the rails so quickly. Alex David led him too far and Danio Addona pulled in the ball while at full extension and completely parallel to the ground. This led to the first of two touchdowns thrown to Mathieu “Flag Jesus” Houle.

In the second half Ravens were fully rolling and their offence looked as efficient as one would expect seeing the names on this roster. Anthony Addona scored his touchdown in the second half yet the highlight was on a convert. Alex David threw the ball to the back of the end zone toward the in-breaking Mathieu Houle who was looking to complete his route, David called out to his receiver to alert him to the ball being en-route and House glanced quickly before reaching behind him and palming the ball to complete the successful convert. Goofy Goobers were unable to maintain pace but had their moments. One such moment was Joassaint catching a touchdown pass despite perfect coverage by Ravens db Adam Parasuco. Ravens would go on to beat Goofy Goobers 32-14.

Mountains? Really?

Les Montagnards look promising coming into the season. The worry of course was whether or not rookie quarterback Julien Fiset-Cyr would be good enough to lead this team. These questions were laid to rest quickly. In the absence of Anthony Garant, Frederic Viens filled in admirably as he led the team in catches and yards while scoring on one of the Fiset-Cyr’s three passing touchdowns. Fiset-Cyr actually looked quite good as he carefully managed the game from start to finish.

Conversely, the Longhorns did not have the answer to a similar question, “Can they be a contender without Jon Moodie at quarterback?” Brad Evans has some Texas-sized shoes to fill and he had some positive moments in this game. The interceptions thrown to Montagnards defenders Fred Viens and Vincent Savaria-Jutras ended up costing the Longhorns. In addition to the turnovers, Evans was sacked three times and often found himself working from behind the 8-ball. Karime Yasmine scored twice, but in the end the Montagnards would not be contained and the start their season undefeated after beating the Longhorns 33-26.

Peeze’s Mail Sack

a to the trizzLe.‏ @trottatize May 18

@PeezeFPF dont worry peeze. i got the raccoons trailer park boys reference. #sonsofmitches

Glad someone has good taste. Rake-ons are a menace!

Jerson Previllon SUN 3:09PM

I will make sure you dont catch a single pass tonight

Someone should post Jerson’s face on a milk carton because I looked everywhere for him on my way to the end zone.

*/devDkurtis*‏ @DaoustKyle May 11

@PeezeFPF just letting you know it’s me playing in divD with dave.. we’ll be closing out big games believe that #FPF

Well so you and your bros are named similarly. Not sure if you noticed the theme but someone loved the letter D.

Akeem Hoyte-Charles @akeemtweetz May 11

U spending too much time with moe I see

Akeem Hoyte-Charles @akeemtweetz May 11

Dead to me

Akeem Hoyte-Charles @akeemtweetz May 11

You ain’t shit!

I don’t spend enough time with Moe. He’s delightful!
You would make a terrible coroner. Luckily you’ve chosen a different line of work and I expect not to be buried alive.
Doesn’t that mean I am not shit? Don’t worry man, double negatives are confusing.

Power Rankings

We’ve got a decent amount of movement in our power rankings after some huge Week 1 games. François Martin is weirdly conservative in his assessment (especially since these power rankings don’t ultimately matter). Martin seems so in love with his own opinions that some teams failed to move the needle on his radar despite some great Week 1 performances. In any case, it’s interesting that we see both Division D-1 and D-2 quite differently. While my views are correct, Martin will likely be proven wrong by season’s end. I guess it will be a learning experience for my colleague. Feel free to reach out to him by sending him hate mail @ [email protected].

Division D-1

KGP RA (1-0): Much like my primate brethren, I’m a believer! Nathaniel Niedermann scored five TDs in Week 1 and is a great full-time addition!
Globo Gym Purple Cobras (0-1): Those of you who are familiar with my articles know that I do not overreact to what happens in Week 1. GGPC lost a tight game to Les Affreux who are a formidable opponent. This game could have gone either way.
Diablos (1-0): Marc-Andre Lapointe led the Diablos to victory over Backyard Bruisers. This is a quality Week 1 win.
Frosty Bronsons (0-1): The loss came down to getting stopped on the goal line. My guess is that James Nowakowski will complete more of these opportunities than not in the future.
Supply and Command (1-0): SNC scored the 3^rd highest point total in Week 1 (tied with Fun Boys). Yet, it was the three turnovers caused by their defence that draws my attention.
Kiwi Island (1-0): My excitement for this team grows. Joey Fiorillo completing 72.3% of his passes is astounding!
Backyard Bruisers (0-1): Bruises heal, as will Chris Pendenza’s ego after a shaky Week 1 start.
Les Affreux (1-0): Rushing is the headline for Les affreux again this season as David Faucher recorded three sacks.

Division D-2

Trinity (1-0): In their third season together, Trinity look to have every aspect of their game clicking early.
Ravens (1-0): How many Addonas does it take to win a championship? The answer may be three. Ravens come out of the gate strong.
Roadrunners (1-0): Their defence is a little worrisome but scoring 44 points against the the Warriorsis no small feat.
All Hooks (1-0): C-O Lavigne’s passing stats seem to have been lost (editor’s note: Got tape? Don’t use it; get yourself a Sportira jersey instead) but his rushing effort was recorded and thus, his one rushing TD and four passing TDs has been truly noted. Time will tell if the “Hookers” can be a dominant force.
Warriors (0-1): Ooooooooooooooooooh Solimene. Those whose Italian parents sang “O Sole Mio” like they were gondola captains (they are boats, so is it a captain? A driver? A conducteur? A gondoleer?) will get this reference. Offence looked great as usual; the defence needs to right the ship (even if it is a limited passenger vessel).
Lobster Dinner (1-0): Jon Brown gonna be Jon Brown! The quarterback known for grinding games into the mud, then pouring cement onto that mud did just that in Week 1. Save the tweets, I obviously mean that figuratively. Where would he get a cement truck? How would it fit into Complex Papineau?
Smokin’ On That Lalla (0-1): This was a bizarre game. I would be lying if I said that Avery Lalla’s performance didn’t worry me. I’ll keep a close eye on how this unfolds.
Pandas (1-0): Pandas win a hard fought game against War Pigs in Week 1. There is an equal chance of them becoming a team that wins and loses an equal amount of close games or a team that just finds ways to win. Let’s see how they handle Trinity in Week 2.

1	KGP RA (1-0)	+4	Ils ont massacrés un bonne équipe … rien d’autre à dire.
2	Diablos (1-0)	+2	Belle victoire d’équipe, mais ils profites surtout des défaites des autres pour monter
3	Globo Gym Cobra (0-1)	—	Leur Qb n’était pas à son meilleur, mais je suis sûr qu’il va se reprendre.
4	Get Off My D (0-1)	-1	Défaite serré contre une bonne équipe, mais je pense quand même qu’ils finiront dans le haut du classement
5	Les Affreux (1-0)	+2	Grosse victoire contre GGPC. Maintenant, ils doivent me prouver qu’ils peuvent gagner à chaque semaine.
6	TOPSNZ (1-0)	+3	Victoire surprise sur Get Off My D. Ils viennent d’arriver dans ce classement, mais ils pourraient bien y rester.
7	Straight Outta Breath (1-0)	+2	Battre le #1 de la semaine dernière, vous assure une place au chaud parmi les meilleurs.
8	Zoo (0-1)	-7	De toute les défaites surprises, c’est Zoo qui avait l’adversaire le moins dangereux. Je les ai peut-être surestimé …

1	Pandas (1-0)	—	Ils m’ont fait peur, mais le crème fini toujours par faire surface.
2	Big Fun Party Mix 8 (1-0)	+1	Ils ont offert la performance la plus convaincante en D2
3	Roadrunner (1-0)	+5	Grosse victoire contre les Warriors. Toutefois, cette partie à quand même exposé des faiblesses.
4	All Hooks (1-0)	+2	Eux aussi ils ont battu une bonne équipe, alors ils peuvent que monter
5	Warriors (0-1)	-3	Défaite difficile. Toutefois, ils représentent quand même l’une des puissances de la division.
6	Trinity (1-0)	+1	Vous gagnez … vous montez … c’est simple !
7	Still Preaching (0-1)	-1	Je pense que cette équipe ne montera pas ben plus haut que cette position, mais je crois qu’ils quitteront pas mon «ellite 8».
8	Les Montagnards (1-0)	+1	Le cœur de cette équipe est habitué à la victoire. Faites attention il pourrait monter davantage.

Saturday’s Savvy Seal

Share your thoughts on your team and/or your gardening experiences by reaching out @PeezeFPF on twitter or @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook and many other social media platforms.

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF Division D podcast Calling the Audible, where Moe Khan and Alex Holowach discuss the ethical dilemmas that face sexters world-wide, the benefits of police-fired GPS tracking darts and the best Russian spy soup recipes. Tune in to www.youtube.com/flagplus on Thursday nights at 7:30 pm or download the podcast on iTunes or Podomatic!

Have a great and safe second week of action. See you at the fields!