Division E Season Reflection (Mostly)

Good afternoon all, and welcome to my reflection on the spring 2022 Div E season. I’d like to share with you the lessons I’ve learned this season, and I will be grading many teams’ seasons from my off-field point of view. 

My main takeaway from this year is that athleticism does not necessarily beat experience, and vice versa. I’ve seen so many teams stacked with young guys get schooled by more experienced older dudes, however, I’ve also seen those same young kids go out and embarrass a squad full of dads. Essentially, my point is leading me toward the classic cliché of don’t judge a book by its cover. In my mind the optimal team make-up for Flag Plus would be an athletic group aged 18 to around 35, who know the rules of FPF. Obviously this is Div E and is meant for newcomers to get acquainted with the league, but in reality there are many returning players in this division who have formed new teams. They are dubbed as newcomers, even though many of them are experienced. 

Another bit of info that I’ve realized is that two-point conversions are flat out better than the usual extra point and here’s why: When you go for 1 your team is limited in options. Technically, if the defensive team did not send a rusher and instead had an extra man in coverage, the offensive team would have very little opportunity to find a completion. By moving back an extra five yards and actually going for the 2 point convert, you make it necessary for the other team to rush because the quarterback has the option to rush. Additionally, just the possibility of a run makes the defense lose focus on their assignment. Hypothetically if the Qb gets around the rusher he will draw other defensive players to come tackle him, which could also result in one of his receivers getting open, leaving a greater chance at a successful conversion. 

Before I get into these grades, I was on the FPF pod last night with Moe and Iggy and when I told them I’d be doing report cards Moe called me lazy, while Iggy called Moe lazy for never having done one. So, at the end of this article I’ll let you know who I truly think is lazy and whether or not this was terribly time consuming to write. 

I know that I called this a report card, but I think that rather than giving the standard letter grade I will just be giving my key takeaways on each team. Also If your team’s section is on the shorter side it is either because I haven’t seen many of your games, or because I don’t feel like being overly critical. 

Les Petites Carottes (8-1) 

These guys are flat-out good. They have many quick players and they seem to know what they are doing on defense. They are the 5th highest passing team in the league with 1322 yds and they are tied for second most touchdowns in the division with 41. Their only loss of the season was at the hands of The Praetorian Guard, and they have the highest scoring differential in the division with +152. If this team does not make it to the finals this season it would be a let down, so clearly I’m expecting big things from the little Carotes. However, I will say that it is possible this team relies too heavily on Xavier Brault. Brault has scored 17 of their 35 offensive touchdowns, while also leading the team in tackles, interceptions and passes defended. 

The Praetorian Guard (8-1) 

I feel like a broken record writing this, but it is such a shame that I’ve yet to see this team play. That being said, I see the stats every week and it is safe to assume that Mederic Lauzon is the most dangerous quarterback in the Division. He does not lead the Div in yards or touchdowns, but that is because he’s played less games than all the Qbs that rank above him. He does however have the highest QB rating in the division and it’s not even close. In seven games played, this man has a 127.9 rating which is 18 better than the next best player. In 178 attempts, he’s thrown just two interceptions, and the Guard’s only loss of the season came when he was not at the game. Additionally, they allow just 16 points per game on defense, second only to Vick in a Box. 

Vick in a Box (6-1) 

This team is very interesting. Their previous two games were both against The Praetorian Guard and they won one and lost the other. The only reason that the loss seems more impactful than the win is because they won against the Praetorian Guard who was without quarterback Mederic Lauzon. Regardless, this team has multiple weapons on offense in Max Burah and Craig Browning (each have over 340 yards and 10 touchdowns), while Nicholas Sanche is perhaps the best tackler I have ever seen in Flag. That is not hyperbole either. Sanche has recorded 52 tackles in seven games played. The next highest tackler has 32 in nine games, and the list drops off considerably after that. I’m not entirely sure how this man is able to cover that much ground, but he is elite. Vick in a Box has great potential and I think they can easily make the semi-finals, they’ll just need to beat the Guards to make the Final. 

Minchia FT (6-4) 

Before I get into this one I’d like to say that I am simply illiterate because I’ve been mispronouncing this team’s name all season. Anway, I had not seen any of Minchia’s games until a couple of weeks ago, at this point they were 6-0 and looking like one of the strongest teams in Div E. Since then, they’ve lost four consecutive games and are starting to feel like the 2020 Pittsburgh Steelers who started 11-0 and everyone thought they were amazing, only to realize they were yet to play any playoff teams.  Five of their six wins are against teams under .500. I do realize that this review is pretty harsh, but it is factual and hopefully they just take it as motivation for the playoffs. 

Magnetos (6-0) — (written before their win over Vick in a Box) 

This team is very intriguing. They’ve beaten a bunch of solid midfield teams, but their quarterback position is somewhat vacant at the moment. Adam Malinoff was doing a solid job before he hurt his knee. Since then they’ve used two different players at the position, winning both games. It is very impressive that these young guys were able to pull out two comeback wins with no Qb, but I don’t think they would fare well against a top-seeded team without steadier quarterback play. They have four games remaining and three of their opponents are non-playoff teams, so it’s possible that Magnetos have a very strong end of the season.

The Pillow Talkers (5-2) 

The Pillow Talkers are a little tough to read due to the thousands of people they’ve had play for them. It’s been alleged that some of them may be too skilled to be in Div E, but nevertheless, they are very fun to watch. Both of their losses came early in the season, one being to Minchia Ft, who they’ve since beaten by 20+ points. Their final game of the season is against the Penetrators and I’m excited for that matchup, because I believe they are pretty evenly skilled teams. 

The Penetrators (5-4) 

This team could be much better. Justin Goodman has improved tremendously as a quarterback throughout the season, leading the league in touchdowns thrown. However, for most of the season he was much too conservative with his passes. The Penetrators snapper Jonah Koifman leads the team in targets by a solid margin and those targets are all checkdowns, confirmed by Goodman’s 75% completion. That being said, they have some very dynamic players. Jared Boidman and Nicholas Fon are both very tall receivers and the majority of their team is rather quick. Their final game of the season is against The Pillow Talkers and a win could propel them into third place in conference A. This team could very well make a run in the playoffs, or not. Honestly they are very unpredictable. 

Black Label (6-2) 

I believe there is an issue with the website and this team is actually 7-1, in which case they should probably be higher up on this list. However, I trust technology and until Rob gets back to me and says that the website is incorrect I will leave it. Black Label has been a solid team all season, their undoing is that they allow far too many points. They average just three more points per game than they score, luckily for them they score quite a bit. Frederic Juneau has been a steady hand at Qb all season, with a 26 to 4 touchdown / interception ratio. This team is definitely capable of getting out of the first round, they could even get a favorable matchup as their two remaining games are very winnable. 

Big Fat Bats (5-4) 

I’m going to be pretty critical to this team because I want them to use it as motivation. The Big Fat Bats are disappointing. Their 5-4 record is beneath them. They have lost to all three of the top teams in the league by a combined 3 points. I have not seen many of their games, but the ones I did see were lost due to poor tackling. This team should be much better. Matthew Zeppetelli has been a stellar quarterback, 37 touchdowns has him tied for second most in the division, and he has the second best QBR (also the name on his jersey is a TPB reference and that is simply just cool). I also must mention Luca Leccese because he is very fast. Very very fast. He leads the division with 14 sacks with another 7 offensive touchdowns to go with it. If I h to pick a ‘dark horse’ team to make a run in the playoffs it would be the Big Fat Bats because their record is not nearly representative of how good they could be. But hey, playoffs are coming up, so I’m expecting Randy Lahey to throw two turnips in heat and get this thing going. 

Scranton Stranglers (3-5) 

This team should finish 5-5 and could potentially jump the Penetrators at the end of the year. While I think that this season has been disappointing for Iggy and his ragtag group of FPF vets, they’ve had a tremendously difficult schedule. Six of their eight previous opponents are playoff teams and frankly they just haven’t been able to hold on to these tight games. Despite being under .500, they are +23 in point differential and a good number of their losses are one-possession games. I feel like I’ve been saying that I expect a lot of teams to win at least one playoff game, however, if this team doesn’t I think it’ll be most disappointing given their collective experience as FPF players. 

Win Diesel (5-5) 

Win Diesel’s season has been exactly what their record suggests which is meh. They’ve lost to good teams, and beaten up on bad ones. I think they would benefit from another year of experience in Div E because they have improved a lot over the season. They’ve also had four different quarterbacks play throughout the season which can’t make it any easier to win games. 

That is all for this week, if your team has not yet been talked about I will do my best to cover you in next week’s article, although the main reason I left teams out was because I haven’t seen them enough to really have a grasp on their season. As usual if you have any questions, comments, concerns, threats, etc… Please let me know. 

Have a great weekend everyone, see you all in week 8.

P.S. I am split down the middle in regard to Moe and Iggy’s stance toward report cards. On one hand it could be considered lazy because it’s such a small amount written about each team. On the other hand, there are way more teams in this division than I realized, when I decided to make this kind of article.