Division 5 Season Preview

Hey everyone and welcome (back) to FPF! I think it’s fair to say most of you reading this right now need no introduction to the league, so we’ll leave that to Brent Bodkin in Div 6. But if you are among those new to the league and wondering what all the hoopla is about, don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.

For those of you wondering who I am, this season marks my fifth year playing in FPF, and fourth as a media member. I’ve done my fair share of covering lower and higher divisions, although this year will be my first covering Division 5. I don’t think I need to go on much more than that – you can read my interview with Peeze if you really want to know more.

On to more important things – namely, what you can expect from my articles this season. Format-wise, I like to keep things pretty simple: recaps, followed by power rankings, some random thoughts, and predictions for the games ahead. Brand new this year will be the addition of a FanDuel-inspired fantasy football section.  

With Division 5 being split in two for the first time ever in FPF, I think the fairest thing to do is split my article in half as well: one half covering 5A and the other reserved for 5B. Yes, that means double the recaps, double the power rankings and double the predictions, but not double the random thoughts, because there is only so much random stuff I think about over the course of a single week.   

Fair warning, though: with a monstrous 48 teams competing in Div 5 this year, and only one write-up a week coming from the fingertips of yours truly, suffice to say that shining the spotlight on all of you over the next 13 weeks will be damn near impossible. On my end I can only say I’ll do my best. As for you, just know: the harder you ball, the more I pay attention.

 

Meet Your Competition (5A):

Usually I would reserve this spot to rank my preseason top 10 teams, but I decided to switch it up and let everyone in on the fun. Here are my rapid fire thoughts on every team competing for the 5A championship this season (read on below for 5B), broken down into various categories: 

 

The Returning Contenders: 

If you’re in this category, you made the Div 5 playoffs last year and expect to do the same again this year.

 

Gators: The addition of David Beltrami and Evan Cook aside, this year’s team is the essentially the same as the one that finished 8-2 last winter. That is, aside from the fact starting QB Steve Sanner is absent from the roster this season. Those are some big shoes to fill given the solid stats he put up.

Dope Boys: Who are FPF newcomers Robbi Dejean and Jocelyn Ouellet, and can they help Dope Boys break through following a 6-4 finish in Winter 2015? 

Tomahawk Nightmare: Those of you who have been around long enough may remember Tomahawk bursting onto the FPF scene when they made their way to the Division E finals in their first ever FPF season back in Winter 2013. What you may not know is that J-F Marquis and friends have made the playoffs each of the four seasons since then – only to lose in the first round each time. They have the chemistry, they have the talent, they have the experience – is this the year they finally get back to the finals?

Sphinx: Adding just one new player to the team, Sphinx have high expectations their roster can repeat last year’s excellent season. So do I.

Blackshirts: Blackshirts’s defense was rock solid last year, allowing 30+ points just twice all season long. And that’s despite QB Seth Galina tossing double-digit INTs. Though it all culminated in a 6-4 record, Galina will need to be much smarter with the football this year if Blackshirts hope to compete against the tougher competition of this year’s Division 5A.

Les Verges Folles: After taking D5 by storm in their first-ever season as a team (and for many on the roster, their first season of FPF ever), these guys are like the new generation of Division 3’s Les Eudistes – they’re young, they’re athletic, and they’re just about all formerly College Jean Eudes football players. And that’s bad news for all of you.

 

Returning Non-Contenders:

If you’re in this category, you didn’t make the Div 5 playoffs last year and are hoping to turn things around this year. 

 

Hot Boys Hotline: The boys in pink are back with the same exact roster they fielded in Division 5 in Winter 2015. They finished 3-6-1 that season. That’s usually a reason for me to give a lecture about the perils of making no roster adjustments when the league only gets tougher year to year. However, coming off a 7-3 finish in Division D this past spring, HBH have good reason to be hopeful led by their workhorse and ridiculously underrated two-way star, Vadim Chernyak.

X-Men: Entering this winter season with the same exact roster as the one that crawled to a 3-6-1 finish in Winter 2015, Hot Boys Hotline’s blurb can be copy-pasted into this paragraph. That is, minus the bit about having good reason to be hopeful – it feels like ages since X-Men were a dominant team. Is this the season they break away from the middle of the pack after years of being stuck in neutral?

Les Albatros: Having taken a one-year hiatus, Les Albatros are back and looking to improve on their ugly 2-8 finish in Winter 2014. These young guns are older and wiser, but are they better?

Sticky Hands: Consistency will be key to a successful season for Sticky Hands; over the course of their first two seasons in FPF, their offense has scored at will one week only to disappear completely the next. Is this the year Alexis Labonté’s offense truly takes flight?

 

Making the Jump:

If you’re in this category, you were in Division 6 last winter and are taking your talents to a new level in Div 5 this year. 

 

Obamacare: Having won the D6 championship in their first-ever FPF season, Obamacare really had no choice but to move up to D5 this year. And rightfully so: this is a team with a potent receiving corps led by Andrew Hopkins and a strong-armed QB in Jordan Mcinnis. And that’s never a bad combination in FPF.

Flagrant Fouls: Division 6’s only undefeated team in the regular season last year, Flagrant Fouls are very much in the same situation as Obamacare. We already know what to expect from stud receiver Marty Freedman; but is the rest of the roster ready to step up?

Woofpack: After going 8-2 in their first season as a team in D6 this past winter, Woofpack found themselves going in reverse with a 2-8 finish in Div D this past spring. But if FPF media member – and way better QB than Simon Dagenais – Terry Tam can get his pack back on track, this team has the potential to take many opponents by surprise this year.

Wax On Wax Off: A new year and a new division means a new name for Wax On Wax Off, who become Watch Me Whip this season. Division 6 finalists a year ago following a gritty 5-3-2 finish, the road back to the finals figures to be even harder this time around.

Pardon My Swag: They finished 9-1 in Division 6 last Winter, but do they have the talent to do the same in Division 5 this year?

 

Who the Hell Are You:

If you’re in this category, this is either your first FPF winter season ever as a team (or first FPF season at all). 

 

Space Pirates: Having racked up two defensive player of the year awards and a championship, Jad Aridi decides its time he tries his hand at quarterback. With a solid deep ball threat in his brother Ryan, I wouldn’t be all that surprised to see Space Pirates make some noise this season.

Supply and Command: After years of talking the talk about how I’m going to play QB, I’m finally walking the walk. I managed to convince seven other people to take the plunge with me (read: I paid them all handsome sums of money to make my dreams come true). I guess we’ll find out soon enough whether we’re going to sink or swim. 

Top Sauce: Version 2.0 of The Vince Nardone QB Experiment. With the huge loss of talent resulting from the team’s fall from Div C in spring to Div 5A this winter, success will rest on Nardone’s growth as a QB – and what FPF newcomers Mathieu Poirier, Phil Aguib and Vince Trevisono can bring to the table.   

Get on Deck: These guys are starting the season with a 20-man roster. 20. freaking. players. And only four of which have ever played FPF. Never mind discussing playoff hopes and whatnot; all I’m wondering at the moment is how in the world are they going to rotate everybody in?

Fat and the Furious: The first “The” from their team name is gone, but these guys are still fat, still furious, and looking to improve upon their two-win inaugural FPF season in Division E this past spring.

Team Rocket: Essentially Two and a Half Dans lite, Globo Gym Purple Cobras become Team Rocket this season. Coming off a decent season in Division D last year, and featuring a roster with a good number of FPF veterans, I must say I have high expectations for this group this season.

 

Taking it Down a Notch:

If you’re in this category, you played in a Division 4 last winter and perhaps you weren’t quite ready for that level of competition yet. 

 

BMS Goats: Led by QB Daniel Lazzara, this Sea Assassins spin-off team struggled mightily in its inaugural season in Division 4 last winter. The team dropping to Division 5 means someone else will have to take the snaps this season. Who will take over the reigns, and more importantly, do they have what it takes to lead these Goats to the promised land?

Voo-Zoo: With Frank Kaye’s main ZOO team competing in Division 4 this year, one wonders whether Frank will be QBing ZOO, Voo-Zoo or both. Either way, between speedy rusher Kevin Marcil, go-to receiver Etienne Vaillancourt and the dependable Martin Bergeron, this team won’t need the help of any supernatural forces to make plays on the field this season.  

Trapstars: Perhaps the unluckiest team in FPF finally saw its fortunes change for the best following a 5-5 record in Division 4 last year. That’s a good finish by all means. But do Trapstars have it in them to finally become great this season?

 

Meet Your Competition (5B):

The Returning Contenders:

Flying Weasels: FOTC are back for another season, this time under a name they haven’t gone by since Spring 2009, when they went 10-0 and made the Division C semi-finals (coincidence?). A bigger surprise is the absence of long-time QB Étienne Guilmain from the roster, signalling a potential permanent move to Jonathan Lemieux at the position moving forward. Time will tell whether that’s the right decision. 

DG Goons: After finishing second overall in their conference last winter, DG Goons went on to struggle in Division D in the spring, winning just 3 games on the season. Playing in the weaker 5B will help their chances of returning to the playoffs, but the notable absence of stud receiver Rich Humes, who led the team in receptions last winter, will definitely hurt. 

Green Lantern Corps: After years of .500 and below seasons, Green Lantern Corps finally broke through with a 6-3-1 finish last winter. Counter-intuitively, it turns out all it took was taking their best receiver in Mendy Cardichon and moving him to QB. Hey, if it works, it works. Of course, it should be noted that what helped make it work was Kevin Lubin taking over the no. 1 role at receiver. But with no Lubin on the team this time around, can Green Lantern Corps return to the playoffs for a second winter season in a row?

 

Returning Non-Contenders:

I Rep That West: Les Aigles attempt to turn the page on an underwhelming 3-7 inaugural season last year with a new name. I’d like to note they’ll be repping the East in Conference A if they end up qualifying for the playoffs this season.

The PACK: The PACK become the latest team to put their team name in all-caps. As a team coming off a rough 2-8 Winter 2015 campaign, a part of me hopes to see them turn things around this season. Another part of me secretly hopes they fall short of a finals appearance, just to be sure I don’t awkwardly shout their name every time I refer to them in the Road Show broadcast. 

Junkyard Dogs: Missing firepower in a 4-5-1 season last winter, Junkyard Dogs called in reinforcements Yavar Ashrafi and Joseph Sifakis in the spring and again for this winter season. Though their addition did little to change the team’s fortunes in Division D last year, the pair should certainly make their presence felt in 5B.  

Rednecks: A late-season surge wasn’t enough for Rednecks to sneak into the playoffs in their FPF debut as a team last winter. But competing in 5B this year, Rednecks may clinch a playoff spot long before Week 10. The key will be whether any of the four FPF rookies on the team can make up for the loss of leading receiver Jason Boyte.

Weapon X: It looks like TOPSZN is no longer the regime, at least for one season. The name change aside, one of the biggest changes to the team this year is the absence of QB Jordan Maxwell from the roster. TOPSZN tried out four other QBs in a disappointing season this past spring, and they’ll be going with a brand new one again this winter. Who that person is, and what they can bring to the table, remains to be seen. 

Les Guerriers de L’espace: No Jérémi Savard, no Antonin Munn and no Georges Élie-Voyer. In other words, the team that went 3-6-1 last winter will try to improve without a leading receiver, a leading DB and a leading two-way player, in that order. I’m curious to see how they plan on making the playoffs this season. 

 

Making the Jump:

Creamsicles: Balls Deep make the jump to Div 5 this year, rebranding themselves in the process. Moving up a division despite just a 5-5 finish in Div 6 last winter takes some balls (sorry, but not really), but the presence of receiver Anthony Da Silva for the full season this time around should be a big boost to this team’s playoff hopes. 

Small Giants: The Sun Bros return with a new name and hope to build on their fantastic 7-3 finish in Division 6 in their inaugural FPF season last winter. The absence of leading wideouts George Vouras and Dominic Meffe from the team’s preseason roster this year will make for some tough sledding, but studs Emmanuel Sarikakis and Daron Migdesyan are still around to wreak some havoc on unsuspecting opponents. 

 

Who the Hell Are You:

Les Pitriotes: With a seven-man roster of which only two players, receivers Andrew Langburt and Jake Rashkovan of Coyotes, have played FPF before, there’s little I can speculate on at this point. So right now I’m really only left to wonder whether there’s a typo in their name. I mean there has to be, right? Otherwise can anyone let me know what exactly a Pitriote is…?

Jaguars: The team roster features nine new FPF players, and three others who have combined for just 33 total games. In other words, this is about as new a team as you can get. 

Siths: Much like Jaguars, this team’s roster is 11-deep and features just three returning FPF players. But that’s where the comparisons end, as two of those three are FPF Hall of Famer Gino Di Fazio and Division 1 wideout Steph Chartrand. Regardless of who goes QB, this team is in good hands.

Takeover: What happens when you take five former Black Ice members, add five new FPF players and top it all off with two free agent pick-ups? We’ll find out soon enough. 

Been There Done That: Having made their FPF debut this past spring, Sebastien Tardif and company are back for season no. 2 and hoping to improve on their 5-4-1 finish in Div E with the addition of two new FPF players to the roster. 

Fuzzy-Kittens: Much like Been There Done That, Fuzzy-Kittens are making their winter season debut in FPF following a decent showing in Spring 2015. Unlike Been There Done That, Fuzzy-Kittens are taking the aggressive approach to improvement, bringing on four new FPFers alongside perhaps the division’s free agent pick-up of the year in Simon Bosquet-Beaudoin. The kid is a match-up nightmare for any DB and any defense, be it man or zone. Don’t believe me? Those of you in 5B will learn soon enough.  

Blue Devils: An 0-10 finish in a team’s debut season in FPF is never a good sign, but Blue Devils should definitely have an easier time in 5B this year than they did in Division D this past spring.

Sunshine Island: No, really, who the hell are you?

Les Huards: This is Nicolas Belleau’s team. Like me, Belleau, AKA my sworn enemy this season, is trying his hand at QB after years playing in FPF. May he throw 30 INTs and his Huards go 0-10. Side note: Anything other than Patrick Huard’s face as the team logo will be a huge disappointment.

GÉNIE: A pair of former SWCP Bulldogs, a pair of one-time members of Served With Heat, and a Ball Buster join forces along with a slew of FPF rookies in hopes of taking 5B by surprise. 

Bruins: As a team made up of six FPF rookies, there’s not much I can say about this squad just yet. Except that I hate them already. Go Habs Go, baby.

 

Taking it Down a Notch:

St.Lunatics: The Big Blue Wrecking Crew/69ers franchise is back for another year, this time as St. Lunatics. A two-win season in Division E this past spring doesn’t give hope of a very successful year for the squad in 2016, but that’s before considering that all signs point to a new QB, former n.W.o. signal-caller Michael Sanchez, taking over the reigns. Coupled with some pieces of a roster that went 7-3 under the 69ers moniker in Division 4 last year, St. Lunatics should certainly be able to add a few more Ws to the win column this season. 

Ghosts: I’m not sure how Ghosts were able to go from a respectable 5-4-1 finish in Division 4 this past winter to fitting the Div 5B cap this year, but they did and 5B is just gonna have to deal with it. However, the move is not without its costs: not only is leading scorer Eric Deschambault absent from this year’s roster, but QB Alexis Gaumont is off team as well. The only other player on this year’s team with QB experience is Gabriel Wiseman, and his move to the position would mean the loss of the team’s leader in receptions and yards. It could all make for a heavier burden on receiver Jeremy Carrier’s shoulders. Can he handle it?     

  

FPF Fantasy Showdown (5A): 

Every week, Nicolas Belleau and I will each highlight a head-to-head QB matchup, receiver matchup, and team defense matchup. I will correctly tell you which will have the better fantasy performance in each matchup. Pretty Water will try to do the same, but fail miserably.

The scoring will be as follows:

QBs:

1 point per 10 yards passing

3 points per passing TD

1 point per 5 yards rushing

-2 points per INT

-1 point per sack

 

WRs:

1 point per 5 yards

5 points per TD

 

Team Defense:

1 point per 3 tackles

1 point per 2 PDs

2 points per sack

3 points per INT

5 points per pick-six

10 points for allowing 10 points or fewer

8 points for allowing 11-20 points

6 points for allowing 21-30 points

4 points for allowing 31-40 points

2 points for allowing 41-50 points

1 point for allowing 51+ points

 

QB: Jean-François Marquis (Tomahawk Nightmare) vs. Shawn Lafortune (Les Verges Folles): In a potential shootout, I think Shawn Lafortune has the better supporting cast, and the better chance, to put up big numbers.

WR: Vadim Chernyak (Hot Boys Hotline) vs. Billy Makris (Team Rocket): Makris was a touchdown machine for Laval’s Finest in the spring, and he figures to be as much for his new team this season. But while he’ll be busy getting accustomed to a new offense, it should be another day at the office for Hot Boys’ go-to receiver. 

Defense: Blackshirts vs. Obamacare: On one hand, there’s the fact Blackshirts are the returning Div 5 team in this matchup. But, that doesn’t take away from Obamacare’s high flying defense recording over 20 picks last year. Blackshirts QB Seth Galina happens to throw a lot of those.

 

FPF Fantasy Showdown (5B):   

QB: Anthony Pitoscia (Creamsicles) vs.Nicolas Belleau (Creamsicles): I foresee Nicolas Belleau’s QB debut going awry. And I foresee myself loving it.

WR: Yavar Ashrafi (Junkyard Dogs) vs. Martin Normandeau (Been There Done That): Martin Normandeau is the Antonio Brown of Been There Done That, having caught a ridiculous 37.5% of all the team’s completions in the spring. I’m going to go with the upset special and say Yavar takes the stats crown here – both for his pass-catching abilities, and for what I expect from him in terms of keeping Normandeau in check defensively.

Defense: DG Goons vs. Green Lantern Corps: Two rock solid defenses last year. GLC have the obvious defensive superstar in Mendy Cardichon, but I think the Goons have the better overall defense as a team. As long as they can keep Cardichon the QB in the pocket where he’s more likely to make mistakes, I don’t think Cardichon the DB will be able to carry GLC’s defense to fantasy victory here.

 

Picks of the Week (5A):

Check out this section every week to see me pick more winners than fellow Division 5 writer Nicolas Belleau, and then gloat about it the following week.  

 

Top Sauce vs. Trapstars

BMS Goats vs. Watch Me Whip

X-Men vs. Flagrant Fouls

Woofpack vs. Voo-Zoo

Pardon My Swag vs. Fat And The Furious

Supply and Command vs. Sticky Hands (N/A)

Hot Boys Hotline vs. Team Rocket

Blackshirts vs. Obamacare

Space Pirates vs. Get On Deck

Gators vs. Sphinx

Tomahawk Nightmare vs. Les Verges Folles

Dope Boys vs. Les Albatros

 

Picks of the Week (5B):

Flying Weasels vs. Rednecks

DG Goons vs. Green Lantern Corps

Ghosts vs. Les Guerriers de L’espace

The PACK vs. Blue Devils

St. Lunatics vs. GÉNIE

Junkyard Dogs vs. Been There Done That

Siths vs. Small Giants

Takeover vs. Bruins

I Rep That West vs. Sunshine Island

Jaguars vs. Fuzzy-Kittens

Les Pitriotes vs. Weapon X 

Creamsicles vs. Les Huards

 

***

That wraps up my Div 5 preview for 2016. Despite what some of my fellow media members may have led you to believe, I’m actually a very approachable/generally happy/easy-going dude, so don’t be shy to hit me up on Facebook, Twitter (@JBlanchFPF) or by email ([email protected]) for questions, criticism or just to talk FPF/let me know more about your team (or anything about it, for those brand new teams out there). Best of luck to everyone this season, and see you at the fields!