Div E report cards: Part 2, top of the standings

I’m back with part 2 of the report cards for Div E. In this one, I’ll be grading the teams ranked 1-11 as well as predicting their record at the end of the season. Hope you enjoy the read.

11. Pasta Arrabiat (4-2-0, 195PF, 104PA)

Grade: A

An “A” grade is fully warranted here. Pasta Arrabiat are 3-1 when Joe Morgese played. Trailer Park Boys forfeited to them, and the team lost to OnlyFlags when Morgese wasn’t playing. The only other loss on their record is a 1 point affair against the favorites of the division, Not You Too?. Nic Delisi was at quarterback for the first 3 games of the season, and Carmelo Di Giovanni has taken over in the last two games. Both QBs have been solid but Di Giovanni‘s performance in the GOTW against the formerly undefeated FSU should have solidified his spot. “Ball so Hard U” from winter 2023 went 0-10 in division 5B, and so it wasn’t necessarily expected for this team to be competing with the best teams in the division. Obviously, Joe Morgese has been a dominant 2 way force with 277 yards, 11TDs, and 5 interceptions in 4 actual games played. His teammates have also done well in supporting roles: Matthew Vertullo on offense and Ricardo Oliva (6int) on defense. The rest of their schedule is fairly easy, with Ramphins, Timberwolves, Show Me Dem TDies and Satriales. The games against Ramphins and Show Me Dem TDies should be competitive, but I actually think Pasta Arrabiat will win all their remaining games.

Record Prediction: 8-2

10. Show Me Dem TDies (4-2-0, 154PF, 90PA)

Grade: B

This team is mostly composed of Rico Ryders players from Winter 2023, with a new QB at the helm (Daniel Caruana). The team went 6-4 in division 5A last season, and so it was expected for this team to be at the top of the division, even with a new inexperienced QB. Caruana hasn’t been bad, throwing 19TDs and 12 interceptions with a solid amount of passing yards (826). Of course, those interception numbers could be better, but for a first time QB, he has impressed. On offense, all 5 starters stand out; Louis Gaitanis with 254 yards receiving, Peter Abbandonato with 167, Denis Koutavas with 8TDs, Matthew Yanakoulias with 154 yards receiving and Jay Yanakoulias with 4TDs. Defensively, the team is great with 18 interceptions, including 4 pick 6s. Unfortunately, I have to give them a “B” grade because they got blown out by both FSU and Not You Too, while they should be at the top of the division and compete (perhaps beat) those teams. I think they’ll beat Area 69, Satriales, but lose to both Pasta Arrabiat and Cover 3 Inches Long.

Record prediction: 6-4-0

9. Trailer Park Boys (4-3-1, 161PF, 229PA)

Grade: B-

The team is 4-1 in actual games they’ve played. Unfortunately, because they forfeited twice, their differential looks terrible. I also had to lower their grade due to those forfeits. Their actual differential in games played is +52, which is good. The team went 2-7-1 last season in Div 6, and so a positive record suggests a solid improvement. Albeit, their schedule has been pretty easy, all 4 of their wins coming against bottom half teams, and a 20-20 tie with Timberwolves is very disappointing. Their only actual loss came to FSU, by a 5 point difference only, which is a disappointing result for TPB. Antoine Meunier has been clinical at QB, with a 99.7 QBR, thanks to his 23TDs and only 5 interceptions. Alexandre Meunier has been the main target all season, posting 267 yards and 9TDs. Mathieu Gascon has been the main endzone threat, with 11TDs. On defense, they unfortunately don’t rack up many interceptions (only 8 in 6 games played). I’m not a huge believer in this team, as I think their fairly easy schedule hasn’t shown this team’s flaws yet. I think they’ll lose their last 2 remaining games against Satriales and Ramphins.

Record prediction: 4-5-1

8. WHO D’EH (4-2-1, 160PF, 98PA)

Grade: C-

Tom Gatehouse is probably the most experienced quarterback in this division, and in lower divisions that should mean one of the best QBs, but it hasn’t really been the case. While his stats are good overall, Gatehouse struggled scoring against the two best teams he has faced (Hail Marty’s and Primetime). The two games WHO D’EH lost were against better teams, yes, but the team wasn’t really in those games, losing by 13 to Hail Marty’s and by 18 to Primetime. A disappointing tie against Meat Lovers leaves them at 4-2-1, but with 4 wins coming against teams in the bottom half of the division. Tanner Keating, Brayden Streeter and Deven Gonzalez have been the main offensive pieces for Gatehouse. Their 9 interceptions in 7 games as a team are not very impressive, and especially considering their level of competition. Fortunately, the rest of their schedule is easy, with both Habitations BR and Bloodline on the card. Their other game, against Minchia FT might be where they get exposed.

Record Prediction: 6-3-1

7. Meat Lovers (4-1-2, 185PF, 124PA)

Grade: A

“Fiddlers” in Div 6 last season went 7-3. I was expecting this team to be playing around .500 and they’ve definitely exceeded expectations so far. Two ties against solid teams (Minchia FT and WHO D’EH) as well as a nice win against OnlyFlags leaves them with a record of 4-1-2. Manny Bizogias has thrown for 24TDs and 980 yards, but also 13 interceptions. Kevin Scalia and Dante Gonsalves have been the primary beneficiaries, with a combined 641 yards and 15TDs. Defensively, Bizogias and Gonsalves have been the propellers, with a combined 10 interceptions. Their upcoming games against Not You Too and Primetime shall be interesting, as we will see whether they are able to keep up with the top teams of the division. I expect them to lose both, but by how much?

Record Prediction: 5-3-2

6. Not You Too? (5-2-0, 198PF, 153PA)

Grade: B+

This team is being driven almost entirely by William Leclerc and Kaiden Dewey-Hull, and when those two aren’t playing, the expected outcome is a lost. Starting 5-0, it looked like this team was bound to go undefeated, but without Leclerc or Dewey-Hull the past two games, they got crushed. Those two losses are the only reason this team is not at an “A+”. With Dewey-Hull and Leclerc playing, not many teams can hang with them in Div E. Assuming both come back and play every single game from now on, this team shouldn’t lose.

Record prediction: 8-2-0

5. Primetime (5-2-0, 187PF, 125PA)

Grade: A-

Primetime went 5-4-1 in 5B last season with Daniel Spina throwing, which put them as potential contenders for this season. Matthew Cadogan was a bit of an unknown at QB which reduced expectations a little, but he has been stellar. His QB rating (104.5) is one of the highest in the division, and his 25TDs to only 5 interceptions are impressive. Their early disappointing losses to Show Me Dem TDies and Cover 3 Inches Long have now been outshined by the more recent convincing wins against Minchia FT and WHO D’EH. Alessio Muro has been showing out with 317 yards and 10TDs, but 4 other receivers also have over 120 yards (George Zergiotis, Daniel Spina, Massimo Rosati and Ari Zergiotis). Their 15 combined interceptions also give them an above average defense. All in all, this team has recently shown to be a threat for the championship and I predict them to win out.

Record prediction: 8-2-0

4. Minchia FT (5-1-1, 235PF, 133PA)

Grade: C

The team went 7-3 in spring last year (DivE), so it was expected of them to be near the top once again. While they are, the teams they’ve beat to get here are subpar. Their first true test came against Primetime and they got whacked, getting outscored 43-24. A tie against Meat Lovers also isn’t impressive to me. Adam Antel has been good, throwing 27TDs and 11 interceptions. Justin Neemeh and Matthew Neiss have been targeted most often and each have 7 touchdowns to their name. I’m kind of predicting that this team will not be a true contender and might be eliminated in the quarter finals, but for now they should win out their games against weaker competition. Although, both WHO D’EH and Bend Don’t Break might have a chance of beating them.

Record prediction: 8-1-1

3. Cover 3 Inches Long (6-1-0, 202PF, 131PA)

Grade: A

I wasn’t a huge believer in this team, I can’t lie. Many inexperience players and a first time quarterback isn’t usually a recipe for success, but in this case it has been. Fabrice Tremblay has been lights out with 27TDs and 8 interceptions (4 of them coming in that blowout loss to Pasta Arrabiat). I wanted to give the team an A+, but that loss made me doubt about how good this team really is. The team hasn’t really been dominant in their wins except against Primetime and the Dewey-Hull/Leclerc less Not You Too. Vincent Demers and William Seguin have been dominant on offense with 7TDs each. Seguin has also added 5 picks on defense. This team should also win out.

Record prediction: 9-1-0

2. Hail Marty’s (6-1-0, 241PF, 115PA)

Grade: A

With it being a new team and a first time QB in Marty Freedman, I can’t really go lower than an “A”. I even wanted to give them an “A+” but the competition just hasn’t been great, and they lost to FSU by two possessions. Overall though, the team has exceeded expectations, with Marty Freedman throwing for over 1000 yards, 27TDs and 9 interceptions. Brandon Vickers has been the best receiver in the division with 341 yards and 14TDs. Jonathan Perez has also done well as a second option with 280 yards and 6TDs. Their defense hasn’t been all that though with only 8 interceptions in 7 games, but their high power offense has more than made up for it. Still, the inability to create turnovers might cost them ultimately if Freedman has a bad game, as he did against FSU. Hail Marty’s should win out from now on.

Record prediction: 9-1-0

FSU (7-1-0, 210PF, 138PA)

Grade: A-

Formerly known a FKU, the team went 8-2-0 in div 6 winter 2022 with Alejandro Fonte throwing the ball. Now, with Justin Schwartz under center, the team is 7-1-0 with wins against good teams. Although, some of those wins haven’t been as convincing as one might have hoped. Winning by only one possession against Satriales, Meat Lovers, Ramphins and Trailer Park Boys is concerning because they should have blown out those teams. Of course, their loss against Pasta Arrabiat has made it hard not to put on the brakes on the hype of this team. Still, Justin Schwartz has a 105.4 QBR, 17TD passes and only 4 times has he been intercepted. Alejandro Fonte has been their best receiver with 267 yards and 7TDs, but 4 other receivers have over 100 yards (Josh Kastner, Jason Dankner, Cory Dankner and Justin Dicaire). I predict an easy win against Bloodline and a bold prediction is that they’ll get blown out by Not You Too.

Record prediction: 8-2-0

This is it for the report cards. I really wanted to give a team an A+ but no one team really stood out and been that dominant, so I reserved myself. I hope everyone enjoyed the read, even if you disagreed with what I had to say. Anyways, good luck to you all for the rest of the season.