Being Right, Lobster Claws and the Fibonacci Sequence

Peeze’s Playbook

Week 3

Paolo Della Rocca

We live in a strange time. We live in a world where we all look to have the first say on matters rather than wait to see evidence to form an opinion. In my work as a pseudo-sports columnist while writing for FPF I have taken the stance that I prefer to write about things that happened rather than predict things that may never happen. I also understand that it is less interesting and less engaging to some, so I do partake in predictive behaviors to a degree as well. I will say however, my claims are rarely steadfast. I am usually one who is willing to change my opinion when presented with evidence.

Usually people who take this stance are criticized for having changed their mind. That is asinine. Imagine living in a time where being proven that the world was round but then refusing to change one’s opinion even if evidence is presented that indicates that one’s initial stand was erroneous. It’s almost is as if there is greater value in being first than being right.

Tiger Woods was arrested for a DUI and people are making moral judgments without the benefit of seeing the police report, or knowing the circumstances. The LeBron and Jordan debate rages on despite the fact that one player is still playing while the other is long since retired. I remember a time when podcast producer Chapman “Hunger Games” at Master Control was foaming at the mouth because the Canadiens chose to keep Carey Price while trading away Jaroslav Halak (whose first name I barely remembered). Once again, none of these stands were necessary or important. All the information will eventually come to the surface anyway.

In my preseason coverage I talks about teams that I thought were strong, teams I thought would struggle and teams I predicted would be weak. In some cases I was right but more importantly I was wrong about many of you. It brings me great joy to be surprised in sports. I am less interested in knowing what will happen than I am in watching some incredible action and learning things I didn’t know in the first place.

This is what I learned this week:

Division D-1

Backyard Football Unsuccessful

Coming into the season I expected the Backyard Bruisers to be a competitive team. They have since started 0-3 and they seem to lack the answers. They faced off this week against the now 3-0 Les Affreux (after a 33-24 win by the red menace). As the team awaits patiently for new jerseys, Bruisers quarterback Chris Pendenza has not had his stats recorded for the last two weeks. The key stat for him in this game however is six. Pendenza was sacked six times (four times by David Faucher and twice by the towering Michael Ladouceur). Despite two touchdown catches by Richard Humes the Backyard Bruisers were unable to get their offense rolling consistently.

Conversly, Les Affreux looked like a well-oiled vision pool side, tanning under the sun. You can look at well-oiled machines if you like, I prefer my hallucinations. Nonetheless, Jonathan Lemieux was constantly attacking the intermediate zones in this game. While David Faucher led the way with 7 catches and more than 100 yards, Mathieu Dubois had perhaps the most memorable play when he used his size to cut the field in half on a key, early, third down catch before then using his large frame to secure three touchdowns as well. Les Affreux are notorious for starting quickly and there were parts of Jonathan Lemieux’s game that bothered me somewhat (many balls fluttered out of his hands and into the hands and chests of his receivers). However, Les Affreux’s hot start looks like it may have staying power this time around.

Breathless

Another game played, another win for Straight Outta Breath. Max Marini was nearly perfect in a 40-12 win over Bruh-Mitzfah. Marini was 13/19 and posted a 108 quarterback rating. In every game this season Marini has posted a quarterback rating of at least 100. His one mistake in this game was an ill-timed pass that was intercepted by David Daoust.

David Daoust was not able to do much with the ball one he had it as Bruh-Mitzfah struggled to move the ball all night. He had trouble connecting with receivers and threw interceptions to Corbin McGee and Shaq Lattimore all the while completing less than 50% of his passes. Still, the greatest indicator that Bruh-Mitzfah look like a group of Bruh-Misfits was that they did not score in the second half. Moreover, Marty Freedman and Zach Goldstein, who I expected to be the playmakers on this team, have accounted for 8 of the team’s 33 completions. This is less than a quarter of the team’s production and scarier still, David Daoust is averaging merely 11 completions per game.

Straight Outta Breath allowed for Kyle McGuigan, Mitch Desmarteau, Shaq Lattimore, Mikey Marini and Olivier Emmons to score touchdowns. Their attack is diverse and Marini is depending on using his legs less than past seasons. Alternatively, Bruh-Mitzfah look like a team that will lose to good teams while taking advantage of weaker ones. Unless they can change this, they will struggle with KGP RA and GGCP ahead on their schedule.

Fun Boys a Nightmare for Dreamville

This game did start out as a dream as Scott Mironowicz’s first pass was thrown to defender Andrew Langburt. With no one else around it appeared almost as if Langburt was running the route for the Fun Boy’s quarterback. I say almost, because that doesn’t make any sense. Langburt would end the game with two interceptions but that was about as positive as it would get for those nestled beneath the Dreaming Tree.

Scott Mironowicz would recover from this horrendous start and connected for touchdowns three times to Mark Viglas and twice to Brendan Parm. Also, as if descending in Fibonacci sequence, Kyle Smith recorded a touchdown for Fun Boys on three catches and 47 yards. Using an attack primarily composed of hooks and slants, Mironowicz marched down the field intelligently and showed a great deal of competence in the redzone.

For Eli Saleh and Dreamville, they were unable to get anything going. The first half was one misstep after another and it was just the kind of game where a collection of small mistakes landed them in the back of a trunk in Atlantic City, attempting to use a screwdriver to “Jimmy” oneself free. But I digress… Eli Saleh tried to use his athleticism to move around and look for athletic players to shake free. This would not work well against an athletic Fun Boys defense. Andrew Langburt ended the game at quarterback but his four attempts found no completion and the Fun Boys would win this one going away by a score of 40-14.

Division D-2

To En-Trinity And Beyond

Watching Trinity this past week had me as impressed as I have been in a long time. Seeing Jean-Felix Marquis throw a football reminded me of the first time I saw Fred Morissette throw a ball in FPF. For those who have been in the lower divisions for a while, you will remember how dominant Morissette was in his early FPF years. JF Marquis has the same type of explosive arm and accuracy on such a wide repertoire of throws and he looks like he may be simply, the top of his class in D-2. Marquis threw for 7 touchdowns and 228 yards on only 23 attempts. His ability and play calling allowed Trinity to stretch the field vertically and horizontally so that whether he was connecting on deep strikes to Vincent Marquis or intermediate sideline hooks to Alexandre Samson, players had all the space they could ask for to make plays for their QB.

Jonathan Brown and the rest of Lobster Dinner battled hard against the incredibly athletic Trinity team. Yet Brown’s shortcomings were evident. Brown is not a strong armed quarterback and has trouble leading his team back from behind. He did convert a few deep balls to Simon Duchesne who looked to be the spark for this offense at times, but overall Brown was reliant on his players searching for yards for him. One such example was Eric Pawlusiak catching a ball on this sideline and charging up field like the scariest of shining time station escapees.

In a game dominated by Trinity (they won 46-27), we saw Trinity control every aspect of this game including game flow. I thought that LD would really try to grind the game out, but after an interception by Alexandre Samson we saw them abandon the only game plan that could have even kept Lobster Dinner in striking distance (despite the loss of dexterity, Lobster Claws have great striking power). Let’s hope they can return to form in Week 4 against Buffalo Wild Wings.

Points Rationed at War Time

War Pigs players took exception to my preseason breakdown of their team. So far, they have a 1-2 record and the team looks fine while, not entirely explosive. Heading into the season I said: “I believe that the turnaround will happen too late and the War Pigs’ late-season noise will be too quiet to be heard in the playoffs”. So far this looks to be the case as the team has talent but does not seem to be clicking just yet.

In their game facing Smoking on that Lalla, quarterback Corey “Wonder” Walwaski felt the pressure from opposing rusher Dwante Morgan, who recorded one sack but forced many off-balance throws from Walwaski in what looked to be a struggle from start to finish. While playing a near perfect first half, we saw him miss key deep throws in the second half and make a critical mistake where he threw against his body. The ensuing floater was intercepted by Matthew Bondoux, who returned the interception for a touchdown.

Bondoux had a great game on both sides of the ball. While only making two catches, both came in big moments in this game. For War Pigs, Guillaume and Charles Tremblay were all over the field on defense. This forced opposing quarterback Avery Lalla to use his legs and buy time now and again and showcase his athleticism. While this tactic was used sparingly, he was able to use this ability on route to completing 20/29 passes. Lalla has the raw ability to compete in the higher divisions in FPF. He is still developing and there are times where you can see that there is room for his game to grow. This game showed a glimmer of what that potential truly is.

Viking Quest Renewed for Another Episode

In a game that would have made “Johnny Drama” proud, the Vikings showed some fight (or battle as is more apropos). The Vikings struck early and often. Julien Schinck threw three passes in his first two drives where all were completed and two of which went for touchdowns. One such strike was a 40 yard bomb to Phillipe Kotrbaty. The Black Knights did answer early as J. Marceli scored a running touchdown. He may have left his name off the scoresheet but he would not leave points on the board. This is where the game’s execution started to falter.

Interceptions were aplenty as Daryl Dorcely, Fabrice Thomas and Anthony Siggia intercepted passes for Black Knights. On the other side Jean-Phillip Huard and Gabriel Lalande intercepted passes early. The half ended with both teams trading interceptions. Jimmy-Lee Janvier even stepped in to throw with the half coming to a close and his pass was intercepted. Nonetheless the biggest turnover was when Nicolas Gendron-Vallée intercepted a pass that would, ostensibly end the game. NGV was no stranger to big moments in this game as he would also catch the game winning touchdown where Julian Schinck rolled to his left and threw a dart to an open Gendron-Vallée at the back of the endzone. Vikings would go on to beat the Black Knights by a score of 24-19.

Peeze’s Mail Sack

Each week I rummage through my messages, mentions and tags and react to all the hate mail, complaints and questions. I’ve learned that many are in on the joke. Others are easily offended (this will probably also offend them) and don’t understand that my articles are largely satirical. The joke is less funny when explained, yet I felt compelled to explain it to those who simply don’t get it. In any case, being old and stubborn, I choose not to curb my behavior in the slightest:

marc-antoine viens‏ @viensmarc2

@PeezeFPF for one I am surprised that peeze is the first to post his article!

Peeze: What can I say some of us are hard workers and conversely, François Martin is over paid. Feel free to tell him such by emailing him @ [email protected]. Wow, the only way to reach him is email. Why not accept nothing but hand-written letters, grandpa?

David Della Rocca‏ @DavesRepublic

@PeezeFPF Mail Bag Question: Would you rather have wet underwear everyday for the rest of your life OR feet sunburns until your 80 yrs old?

Peeze: Remember when you learned in school that there is no such thing as a stupid question? Well, you should have gone to private school because THIS IS A STUPID QUESTION. The obvious answer is wear underwear because it feels like you’re always swimming.

Power Rankings

Each week, François Martin and I will decide who we think are our Elite 8 in both Division D-1 and D-2. Find out what I think and how François was wrong below. These change from week to week and determine the strength of a team at a specific point in the season.

François and I share this segment in my article. For information regarding who we’ve picked in a specific week remember to visit François’ article under his predictions segment.

KGP RA (3-0): Phil Cutler’s 4 catch, 65 yard, 1 TD and 1 INT performance led KGP RA to a beat down of a reeling Zoo. Do reeling Zoos have fish?
Straight Outta Breath (3-0): Shaq Lattimore leading the way on this strong defense on a team known more for their offense.
Les Affreux (3-0): Les Affreux have not yet played against a team with a winning record. Their Week 4 matchup against Straight Outta Breath will provide some insight as to what to expect from each of these teams.
Diablos(2-0-1): Diablos still undefeated, a tie in a hard-fought-yet-ugly win does not give us a ton of information.
Supply and Command (2-0-1): Probably should have fallen off the Power Rankings after tying a game that could have been won by one convert. However, Justin Blanchard is on pace to throw 50 touchdowns this season.
Kiwi Island (3-0): I was ready to move Kiwi into my Top 3, but a close win against TOPSZN has me wondering if they can sustainably beat teams who have equivalent or superior athletes.
Get Off My D (2-1): Get off my D face sub-divisional rival Supply and Command in Week 4. It is rare that a Week 4 game can decide playoff seeding but this has that kind of feeling.
Les verges Aeriennes (2-1): This team is far from perfect, but I expected a 0-3 start against a difficult schedule and yet they are completely defying those expectations.

Francois’ Power Rankings

This week Francois sent his power rankings. He made some lame excuses for not including a write up for each team. I’ll spare you his lies.

1	KGP RA (3-0)	—
2	Diablos (2-0-1)	—
3	Supply And Command (2-0-1)	—
4	Straigth Outta Breath (3-0)	—
5	Les Affreux (3-0)	—
6	Kiwi Island (3-0)	—
7	Get Off my D (2-1)	—
8	Les Verges Aériennes (2-1)	+1

Other Teams Receiving Votes

This week I compiled additional votes from Simon Dagenais, who was in Vegas and spent far too much time betting on FPF games. I then decided that I would post his findings despite it being morally bankrupt.

Fun Boys (2-1): Far from pretty, but you’ve got to appreciate that they find ways to win (that statement doesn’t mean a ton but the sentiment is that they’re not bad at all.)
Globo Gym Purple Cobras (1-2): Both losses were by a score and their win was a blowout. I think this team may only see success from this point on.

Division D-2

Trinity (3-0): JF Marquis throwing with a tennis elbow still looks like someone put a jersey on an actual cannon. A cannon with a well-kept beard. Marquis and Trinity looks like they will not be slowing down anytime soon.
Ravens (3-0): Danio Addona catches two touchdowns in Week 3 and reminds FPF (and himself), that he can be a dominant receiver.
All Hooks (3-0): Cesar Martinez only caught two passes but both were for touchdowns in a 32-24 win against ETC.
Les Montagnards (3-0): There are only a handful of elite teams in this division. Les Montagnards are one of those teams.
Warriors (2-1): I would have expected more dominance from such a strong team, yet the Warriors win even when they are far from sharp.
ETC (1-1-1): ETC add one up in each coloumn. Week 4 will give us an indication of how strong they are.
Big Fun Party Mix 8 (2-1): The fun-loving 8 had a tough game against les Montagnards. Their upcoming schedule does look like they will profit from lighter opponents.
Lobster Dinner (2-1): My worry was that Lobster Dinner could not compete against the top teams in this division. So far, it does appear that I had reasons for concern.

Francois’ Power Rankings

1	Trinity (3-0)	+1
2	Les Montagnards (3-0)	+3
3	All Hooks (3-0)	—
4	Ravens (3-0)	—
5	Big Fun Party Mix 8 (2-1)	-4
6	Warrior (2-1)	—
7	Lobster Dinner (2-1)	—
8	Still Preaching (1-2)	—

Other Teams Receving Votes:

NONE!!!

I said at the top of this article that the season is a learning experience. Given that a large portion of this division has a losing record, I will say that if you want to get listed, you need to win games. So far, I have learned that there are a few elite teams who are simply a class above all others in Division D-2.

Wednesday’s Windy Western

Teams in the NFL that start 0-3 typically don’t make the playoffs. I don’t know if the same is true for FPF because we have a weak stats department. If the stats from your game are erroneous please feel free to contact me @PeezeFPF on Twitter or by messaging me @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook.

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF Division D podcast “Calling the Audible,” where Moe Khan and Alex Holowach discuss the television show “F is for Family” and its impact on the nuclear family, Kathy Griffin’s plans for New Year’s Eve and how ducks are the most efficient form for giant rubbers. Tune in to www.youtube.com/flagplus on Thursday nights at 7:30 p.m. or download the podcast on iTunes or Podomatic!