A defence of Justin Bieber, Father’s Day and St.Jean Festivities

Peeze’s Playbook

Week 6

by Paolo Della Rocca

At a recent concert at the Summerburst festival in Stockholm, a displeased fan hurled a shoe at Justin Bieber when he refused to play his iteration of the Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee song Despacito. I find this problematic for a couple of reasons. Firstly, in many of our workplaces, we don’t have items thrown at us and it is something we take for granted (I say many because my readership may include circus performers who are spun on a wheel whilst another performer throws knives in their direction). The defence for such idiotic behaviour is that the performer makes a lot of money and therefore they should shut up and take it. Bieber, like artists before and after him and athletes who often are targeted with such idiocy make more money than the rest of us because they are more deserving. They are more talented and are worth more money. In the end, the performer is still a human and devaluing that speaks to the character of those who believe that sentiment.

Another issue I have is that, Justin Bieber did not write the song in question, it is a cover tune and it is not something he is comfortable performing live. This is something that has enraged his fanbase and the many people who enjoy hating on those who are more talented (I feel you Biebs…I deal with them all the time). Bieber wants to put n a good performance and he does not feel he can do so with this particular song. A song that isn’t his in the first place.

People will say that he “owes it to the fans”. The kind of childish, mindless dribble makes me want to vomit. We all want to have more control of our work in our workplace. If we could pawn off work to interns and secretaries no one bats and eye. Robert Campana did not want to write articles so he drafted a team of writers. Bieber is simply leaving this song available for bar room bands with giant 26 people crowds to cover. As for owing it to the fans; the concert ticket is purchased, the concert was performed. The performance is one that is improved with the artist playing the songs that he performs best. The order for a concert was paid for the concert was delivered and the transaction is complete. Thank you for your attendance. Nothing is owed to anyone as both sides have completed what they we expected to. I know this isn’t a popular opinion so as such feel free to hammer me on twitter @PeezeFPF.

Division D-1

You Kidding Me Bruh?

As much as I love Ryan Garber as a young man and as a player, throwing up a prayer on the last play of the first half only to see it intercepted doesn’t reflect well on me as his former coach. Seeing how many interceptions I throw probably explains why I shouldn’t be the messenger on this. But I digress…

While Nathaniel Neidermann caught two touchdowns in this game Phil Cutler was pretty much the entire offence for KGP RA. He helped move the ball and his 10 catch, 83 yard performance seemed to dictate the pace of the game. Dylan Garber looked largely uncomfortable the entire game. Garber’s only interception wa son a great play by Zach Goldstein. Yet as much as Garber struggled David Daoust was worse.

Lefty came into this game as confident as ever and now, having found rhythm with Zach Goldstein who caught 3 passes for 46 yards in this game. Devin Daoust continued to be a reliable target for his brother and scored one of Bruh Mitzfah’s 2 toouchdown. The other touchdown was thrown on an outside release seam to Jared Buck who made a ridiculous catch on the sideline while keeping his feet in. Bruh Mitzfah had 3 opportunities to take the lead and close out the game but sadly, David Daoust could not convert. Bruh Mitzfah went on to lose this game by a score of 19-13 to KGP RA.

Sammy Badger Don’t Care; Sammy Badger Don’t Give a Sh*t

Ok, so I used Sammy Feder’s namesake as it bears phonetic resemblance to the recently famous “Honey Badger Don’t Give a Sh*t” that was popular about 8 years ago. That said, he was the Badger’s leading receiver in this game as he caught 5 passes for 64 yards and a touchdown all thrown by brother Josh Feder. Joe Kano saw me at the field after his game and said “We won because of you (Peeze), you said they were underusing me and I had a huge game!” While the more egocentric FPF media members such as Moe Khan and Simon Dagenais would run to take credit for other people’s success I instead want to compliment Josh Feder on realizing that he has weapons that need to get used on this offense. Joe Kano also offered his own brand of hilarity to the game by continuously pointing to whichever defender was lined up above him and yelling “Mismatch!”

Straight Outta Breath looked like a fine team. They are athletic and energetic. The SOB defence actually stepped up to rattle Josh Feder in the second half and by the time the game was done they intercepted him. Both interceptions were a product of Shaq Lattimore who also managed to return one for a touchdown. The defence kept Straight Outta Breath in the game however, Max Marini was unable to lead his team back and win it in the end as Straight Outta Breath lost this game by a score of 29-26.

Max Marini was able to connect with Mikey “So Fine” Marini, Kyle McGuigan, and Olivier Emmons for touchdowns. However, he threw interceptions to Sammy Feder and Jake Rashkovan which proved to be costly. Jake Rashokovan’s interception was something out of fantasy as the ball looked to be sailing out of bounds and over the heads of every player in the vicinity. Rashkovan got on his jet pack and got up to snag the ball. Even teammates were surprised that he caught it. Rashkovan and the Badgers have won two of their last three while Straight Outta Breath have now lost two in a row.

Reflections on Father’s Day

Fathers Day is one of my favourite times of the year. I have my amazing family over and get to spend hours in front of the grill smoking a huge piece of meat with a cold beer in my hand. I get to host my parents and prepare a meal fro them the way they did when I as growing up and the way they continue to send over in Tupperware’s whenever they get the chance. As a child I looked forward to the day that I could sit and have a beer with my dad and my brother and if nothing else in my life had ever panned out (which it has beyond my wildest expectations) then my life would be considered a success.

This past father’s day was no exception. We talked about the NBA finals what was wrong with his New York Giants, I complained about my Miami Dolphins and my brother continued to be delusional about his Oakland Raiders (or whatever city they’re in for the next 3-5 years before a new municipality considers them more of a burden than a source of pride). We talked about how once again he was confused for Michael Caine and the Gene Hackman is a jerk. I also reiterated that he couldn’t sue Michael Caine and that isn’t how likeness rights work. The rack of pork was perfect when I took it off the grill, but my dad insisted that I throw it back on. I overcooked two pieces and had it with him just the way he liked it (cooked so long the pig’s ghost died). While I looked longingly at everyone else’s perfectly cooked hotel-cut chop, I just smiled and remembered that there are likely more Father’s Days behind us than ahead of us and used it as a reminder that every game we watch together, every overcooked piece of pork is as precious as the newly formed memory of this year’s Father’s Day.

Division D-2

War in the Sun Ends With No Victors..No Spoils Acquired

The Vikings came into their matchup with Still Preaching having won 2 of their last 3 games and were a relatively surprising 2-2-1 at the half way point. Conversely Still Preaching is adapting to Patrice Lindor era at quarterback with mixed results. Alexis Labonte and Nic Saro led the way as they often do for Still Preaching. Once again the lack of production from FPF upstart Loic Robidoux is very surprising but Still Preaching managed to moved the ball well and make proper adjustments that allowed them to dominate the second half of this game. With the game winding down and Vikings leading 25-i19 t looked as if Julien Schinck was positioning the Vikings for a late game clinching drive. It was here where Pat Lender intercepted a pass from the shadow of his goal line and returned it to the house for 6! This would prove to be the last scoring play as the game would end in a dissatisfying 25-25 tie.

Julien Schinck did well in this game and despite the late game mismanagement, he made good decisions for most of the game which culminated in a career high 229 yard passing effort. Nicholas Gendron Vallee caught 2 touchdown passes in this game where on of which was the Vikings final score on a beauty of a catch at the back of the endzone. Gendron Vallee also intercepted Pat Lindor on the last play on a final Hail Mary heave. Philip Kotrabaty intercepted Pat Lindor earlier and caught a touchdown as part of his 4 catch output.

Norfolks Given

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love and respect Juwan Edghill. Having coached him in our first season together in FPF Had the opportunity to work with a young man who has wisdom beyond his years and possesses skill that I have never seen in person from someone who is not a professional athlete. Since then I have had the opportunity to play with him on two teams and he continues to amaze me.

That said, Juwan is not a quarterback. ETC has brought on the young phenom as a stop gap measure to fix all that is wrong with the team. However, Juwan struggled to complete passes (only 5 completions all game) and he threw 3 interceptions. One such interception, was the cause of some debate as Edgill dropped back threw a ball that appeared to land between himself and the defender before bouncing into the hands of Chris Miliard. Miliard, showing incredible awareness was up on his feet and celebrating a pick 6 in what seemed like a half second. Edgill was visibly upset but this clearly would not have changed the outcome in a 32-6 ETC loss to Norfolk in Chance.

Norfolk quarterback looked far more intelligent than the team’s poorly constructed pun team name. He was 14-22 and threw 4 touchdowns. Akeem Hoyte Charles took the challenge issued and rose to be a leader in this game as he caught 3 touchdowns and intercepted two passes for Norfolk in Chance. Hoyte Charles was quick to point this out to me on twitter (as seen below). I couldn’t be happier to see his or his team’s success and hope that he can play this way every game. I wonder why it is that players never post on my wall when I get a call right.

The Goofiest of Roster Moves

The Goobers reinvigorated their championship aspirations in the winter season by switching to Jarryd Taylor in the middle of the season. This led them to the roadshow where they lost in nail-biting fashion. However, the team looks to be moving away from accomplished tackle quarterback Styles Trudeau and toward giving the nod to Jack Zergiotis. I typically don’t question personnel changes but, this is surprising and given that Zergiotis was late to arrive for this game, Styles Trudeau started and looked impressive going 7-7 and he threw 2 touchdowns agains the Red Sharks defense. The Goofy Goobers simply did not look as efficient with Jack Zergiotis behind the snapper and the game was much closer than it should have been throughout. Zergiotis does have a great deep ball but his first two attempts looked somewhat ominous as he threw and incomplete pass and an interception. Styles Trudeau caught a touchdown pass from Zergiotis and proved once and for all that a man named Styles can do anything. Shamar Joassaint, Max Burah and th charming Daniel Pisatauro also stacked touchdowns on this game’s stat sheet.

Luis Begin struggled mightily for Red Sharks who are starting to look like they have a lost season on their hands. Begin threw for 2 touchdowns but was intercepted three times. While Begin ran for 63 yards on 8 attempts but looked lost anytime he needed to make a play with his arm. A lot of the defensive adjustments can be attributed to Shamar Joassaint who began rushing Begin from about halfway through the game and he shut down Begin’s offense. The running qb thing can work in FPF provided that he can still scare teams with his arm. That simply has not been the case this season for Luis Begin. In this game, part of the problem was the late arrival of Pascal Nkengue. The star arrived 40 minutes late for the game and barely played. Goofy Goobers won this one over Red Sharks by a score of 27-16.

Peeze’s Mail Sack

Every week, I dig into the darkest depths of the echo chamber that is social media and respond directly to those who would rather curse into the night where the night has no retort. Luckily, unlike Batman, I am not the night. However, like Batman, I am vengeance and I respond to everyone’s hate mail while under the influence of some of Hemmingway’s lemonade.

To be fair, I do answer people’s questions and am usually willing to help those who have things on their mind that are legitimate. For those who spit vitriol, y’all brough a knife to a nuclear war. Recently, I’ve gotten into a twitter beef with a faithful podcast listener. It’s been so much fun and I’m happy to report that I am now his only friend.

Feel free to join the part by tweeting me @PeezeFPF.

Akeem Hoyte-Charles @akeemtweetz Jun 19

@PeezeFPF just going to leave this here

Peeze-Thanks for decorating my timeline man! Happy for you and squad. It’s about time you perform the way I expect you to every week!

Domenic Amalfi @DomenicAmalfi Jun 20

@PeezeFPF @BADNEWSB51 how many teams can u play for spring 2017, 2 teams right.

Peeze- It is three teams maximum as stipulated in the rule book, in Rob’s preseason email and at the captain’s meeting. It was listed incorrectly on the roster verification tab. Sorry for the confusion.

@PeezeFPF bro im not even trolling.. youre not funny nor informative… do u get paid for this ? ps. ur sound effect sux

Peeze- When someone starts with bro, I’m not even trolling it is a definite indicator that one is a troll. Do you know what a troll looks like? You should have more self esteem man. Thank you for your concern about my financial well being. As you can imagine, working for a recreational league has me piling fat stacks! I ride my personal jet in on game days. Finally, you know I’m not making the sound effects right? It isn’t as if the bomb dropping sound is a fart noise with one’s mouth. You see there are these things called computers….hmmm this will take too much time. You’re right, I’ll stop making fart noises with my mouth.

a to the trizzLe. @trottatize Jun 23

Replying to @trottatize @PeezeFPF

if you get fired who am i gonna troll

Peeze- Judging by your timeline, famous people, wrestlers, etc. Essentially anyone else who is vastly more talented than you are.

a to the trizzLe.

@trottatize

Replying to @PeezeFPF

yes confirmed

Peeze- That’s unfortunate man, venereal disease can be very difficult to live with. Keep your head up, stay strong.

Elite 8

Each week, I compile a list of teams who I consider to be the 8 strongest. Francois does the same and we post our notes as to why we believe that certain teams belong in our Elite 8. I am always right and he is clearly wrong. To continuously inform him of this please email him @ [email protected].

Remember that while my article compile’s both of out Elite 8 rankings, his article includes both of our picks for a given week’s games.

Division D-1

Peeze’s Rankings

KGP RA (6-0): K-G-P-R-A just keeps on winning. Closer than we would have thought but that just proves that we know nothing about FPF.
Get Off My D (5-1): Ryan Tereskewitz caught 7 passes enroute to a 33-24 win over Globo Gym Purple Cobras. Next up, Dreamville
Kiwi Island (6-0): They are still undefeated after beating a 5 man Zoo. Picturing 5 men in captivity has renewed the guilt I feel about my fond memories of Parc Safari.
TOPSZN (4-2): They got out to a huge first half lead and held on to be Go Ghetters in a quality Week 6 win.
Straight Outta Breath (4-2): Straight Outta Breath lost in a huge upset to Badgers. None more upset than Max Marini who did not play his best game.
Diablos (4-1-1): Alexi Gaumont returned in week 6 and scored 3 touchdowns. He is valued in an offense that puts a premium on tall, physical receivers.
ICU (3-3): ICU have won 3 straight games against quality opponents.
Supply and Command (3-2-1): Two big mistakes by Justin Blanchard led to a pick 6 and an interception to end the game cost SNC in a big divisional matchup against ICU.

Other Teams Receiving Votes

Frosty Bronsons (3-3): Frosty Bronsons last two wins came against a struggling Dreamville and a largely overrated Diablos team. Their end of schedule is pure hell but it will give us an idea of how strong they really are.
Fun Boys (3-3): Fun Boys are back to their winning ways with a win over Backyard Bruisers. Their performances are hard to predict week in and week out. This is showing us that while flawed they can can ruin anyone’s game night.

Francois’ Rankings

1	KGP RA (6-0)	—	Après un début de saison remarquable, les voici moins dominant. Ils pourraient perdre leur ficher parfaite avec une fin de saison difficile.
2	Kiwi Island (6-0)	—	Copier-coller de mon commentaire sur KGP RA
3	Get Off my D (5-1)	—	Ils viennent de remporter leurs 5 dernières parties et ils ne semblent pas vouloir s’arrêter ici. Ils ont une fin de saison plus facile que les deux premières positions, alors ils pourraient monter au classement.
4	Diablos (4-1-1)	+1	Il se replace petit à petit, mais les voici confronté à leur plus gros défi de la saison, soit Kiwi Island
5	TOPSZN (4-2)	+2	Ils ont eu le début de saison le plus difficile et ils conservent une bonne fiche. Eux aussi pourrait monter avec une fin de saison plus facile.
6	I.C.U (3-3)	+3	Cette équipe s’est mise en marche depuis trois matchs. Ils seront dangereux d’ici la fin de la saison.
7	Straight Outta Breath (4-2)	-3	Ils glissent au classement, suite à leur déboire. Et rien pour aider, ils affrontent coup sur coup KGP RA et TOPSZN.
8	Supply and Command (3-2-1)	-2	1-2-1 à leur 4 derniers matchs. Toutefois, ils devraient se replacer avec une fin de calendrier abordable.

Division D-2

Peeze’s Rankings

Les Montagnards (5-0-1): The ‘Gnards, as they are known by no one shutout the Pandas (who ar now feeling more endangered than ever). Julien Fiset Cyr threw only 3 touchdowns but intercepted his opposite number twice.
Warriors (5-1): The Warriors were searching for a statement win. Beating All Hooks is that statement.
Trinity (5-1): Emile Grenier and Alexandre Jubinville intercepted Buffalo Wild Wings Quarterback Marc-Alexandre Piette in a blowout win to take them to 5 wins.
Ravens (5-1): Alex David finally reminded us all that he isn’t an established QB. He’s had more good games than not. Let’s hope this was the exception.
All Hooks (4-2): Their only two losses came against Warriors and Trinity and in both cases CO Lavigne was MIA.
Lobster Dinner (4-2): I challenged them to beat one of the elite teams, they have done so with their win over Ravens. Week 8 will showcase Lobster Dinner against the Warriors. I still have my doubts but I now feel LD have a much greater chance to upset the Warriors.
Roadrunners (3-2-1): I like a team that can score 30 points on any given day. The only two times they didn’t score 30 points were their two losses.
Big Fun Party Mix 8 (3-1-2): War Pigs showed some fight but BFP Mix 8 were expected to win this one easily. I’m not ready to sell my shares on them yet but it is somewhat concerning when you figure that they are 2 converts away from being 3-3.

Other Teams Receiving Votes

Norfolk in Chance (3-3): I’ve had my criticisms but Norfolk has won 3 of their last 4. That’s notable.
Vikings (2-2-2): The two ties put them at 3-3 (essentially). They have 6 points and are in the thick of things.
Buffalo Wild Wings (3-3): A loss to Trinity ended a nice two game winning streak. BWW lok to rebound against a struggling ETC team.

Francois’ Power Rankings

1	Les Montagnards (5-0-1)	—	Ils continuent à m’impressionner. J’ai hâte à leur match de la semaine prochaine contre Trinity
2	Trinity (5-1)	—	Ils se sont remis de leur défaite et ils devraient aisément gagner contre les Red Sharks cette semaine.
3	Warrior (5-1)	+1	Un peu comme Get Off my D en D1, les voici avec 5 défaites consécutive. Ils sont surement les plus dominant en ce moment.
4	Ravens (5-1)	-1	Une première défaite surprenant contre une équipe plus faible. Ils devront mieux joueur s’ils ne veulent pas glisser au classement.
5	Big Fun Party Mix 8 (3-1-2)	+1	Cette équipe est à quelques jeux d’être encore parfait. Pour eux la ligne est mince entre la victoire et la défaite.
6	All Hooks (4-2)	-1	Sans leur joueur étoile, c’est une équipe moyenne.
7	Buffalo Wild Wing (3-3)	—	Dommage pour eux d’avoir affronté Trinity qui avait des choses à prouver.
8	Roadrunners (3-2-1)	—	Les montagnes russes se poursuivent pour cette équipe qui semble incapable de coller deux bonnes performances de suites.

Sunday’s Saintly Surprise

St.Jean Baptiste is one of my favourite holidays. I get together with good friends and drink many, many, many cheap beers and we enjoy the onset of summer. I consider myself to be Quebecois as I was born here. I have never seen it as a political statement but merely a love for where Ive spent my entire life. That pride was renewed when I pulled up to my friend’s house in Hochelaga Maisonneuve where he was sitting on his front Porch (oddly enough, his nickname is Porch) with his child on his lap and a case of beer that was recently opened. We BBQ’d pizza’s finished that case, then another and called it the end to a great night.

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF Division D podcast “Calling the Audible,” where Moe Khan and Alex Holowach discuss how much teachers love this time of year, the benefits of habitual tardiness, and videos of kids reacting to Iron Maiden. Tune in to www.youtube.com/flagplus on Thursday nights at 7:30 p.m. or download the podcast on iTunes or Podomatic!