Hot Sauce, Tangerines and Division 6 Campers

I had a bizarre dream the other night.  Of the dreams I remember most are strange, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. Few of them involve Citrus fruit however.  In the dream I’m holding a container full of delicious looking tangerines. I looked down and proclaimed “Wow, these look amazing”

The fruit coyly stayed silent but remained acutely aware of my praise. It’s skin is slightly porous but breeming as if backlit by a heavenly seraph.My expression did change somewhat as I came to the realization that their beauty would be short lived.

“You won’t like me so much tomorrow morning.” I said out loud. I didn’t mean to come off as menacing rather it was just, I believe, a shared realization. I believe it to be shared because the tangerines all sat quietly as if they had made a pact earlier that no matter the context, their vow of silence would remain.  

Finally, as their final destination became clear to me I declared “You should probably spend time with the ones you love.”  

Peeze’s Hot Sauce and BBQ Sauce Rules

• There are 5 mother sauces of southern BBQ. Don’t buy BBQ sauce, most of the premade ones are terrible (That said, Baby Rays got the team name wrong, Sweet Baby Rays was RIGHT THERE).  Learn these sauces and make them.That said, Hoisin sauce is surprisingly decent as far as premade sauces go. 
• Don’t use ketchup. Ketchup is gross, it has no place on Hot Dogs, Burgers or any other finished product let alone as a base for other sauces.  Use tomato paste and molasses, honey, brown sugar, maple syrup or literally any other sweetener where you can control the amount of sweetness in your sauce.
• If you’re going Buffalo Hot Wing Sauce, use a fermented hot pepper sauce. I’ve had mine fermenting for 8 days leading up to the superbowl and can’t wait to toss my wings in it. The fermentation process will allow for a greater depth of complexity of flavors to develop.
• Learn which sauces go with what. I swear, the amount of folks that don’t know that Carolina Gold is objectively the greatest BBQ sauce when it comes to Pulled pork is nonsense. If you haven’t figured it out, there’s still time. You’ll thank me later. 
• Spice your ribs, have BBQ sauce to dip separately.  There’s a million culinary reasons as to why but mainly: sugar makes sh*t burn.  Spice rub up your ribs and provide 2-3 dipping sauces for your rib enthusiasts. 
• When making hot-sauce it’s important to get great flavor rather than just dialing up the heat. Bringing balance to the force never meant the republic would win.  It means that there always needs to be balance between the light and the dark side.  Maybe the Jedi Academy should have had more English comprehension classes.  Then again, long time-ago, a galaxy far, far away; times change. 

Power Ranking of the Worst Shows for Which We Are Force Fed Ads While Watching  Football.

Have you ever noticed that the worst ads for TV Shows run incessantly during football games.  All of these shows look like they’re destined to be canceled immediately but instead they run for years as Al Michaels and Jim Nance remind us each week that a new episode of network dribble is premiering this week at 9EST/8Central.  It’s such a weird construct and I always wonder who watches these asinine productions? 

There are a few exceptions where the quick cuts, punchlines and closeups of dramatic faces are actually poor ads for great shows (Fringe comes to mind). Usually however, these shows look to be like the basest form of entertainment.  My main fantasy football league is adopting as a Sacko punishment that the lowest scoring player needs to binge an entire season of one of these shows in a day without the help of alcohol or narcotics. It’s a dreadful experienc ethat no one wants.

Without having watched any of them, here’s my ranking of the worst network shows advertised during football games:

5.The Good Doctor: The quality of the doctor may or may not be quesitonned but this show looks like trash

4. The Rookie: Nate Fillion you get joker of the week for this show.  Firefly was great and you get that money while you can but there’s nothing here that seems remotely redeemable.

3.The Rookie: Feds: That’s some lazy ish am I right?

2.911 Lone Star: Lone star is appropriate as you should not get together with anyone to watch it. Hide and don’t tell anyone you’ve seen it if you have.

1.East New York: There’s not an amount of money that could get me to watch this.  It looks like if a dumpster fire was thrown in a dumpster and then a new fire wa slit before the process repeated for way too many episodes.

Player Spotlight

A conversation with Marcus Lynch

If you haven’t yet my man ML, know that:

1. On the field he’s an absolute dog
2. He’s a great teammate

I met Marcus when he was a long term sub on Hot Sauce Sports (my flag team for a season).  Our rusher/wr Joey Notaro said, I have a guy and he’s a stud.  Joey told no lies. Marcu instantly transformed our team and when he took a 7 yard slant for a 30+ yard touchdown in Div C, I knew this man could play.

Marcus is currently playing on Win Diesel.  I have to say, heading into the season I had mixed feelings on Win Diesel heading into the season. I liked their talent every time I saw them on the field and I thought William Sebag to be a very natural thrower of the football.  However every time I watched them play I was surprised to see them down in the game.  That said, I had a feeling adding Marcus Lynch full time would have a massive impact on the team and he has.  Marcus leads the team with 5 touchdowns and 3 interceptions. More than that Win Diesel is figuring it out. Maybe the team name should be changed to Win DieseW since there are no Ls detected.

Early in the season, on the Calling the Audible podcast we were critical because Win Diesel were winning games but looked altogether unimpressive.  Eagle, our producer, was perhaps the most vocal.  However, as the season has reached it’s midway point, Win Deisel has looked like the real deal.  Since then Marcus has been hitting me up and making sure we take notice.  I get the dude’s sense of pride.  The team is really coming into it’s own. I wonder if Eagle’s impression of the team will change or if he;’s going to dig his heels in further. I guess the only way to find out is by tuning in to Calling the Audible every Friday morning at www.youtube.com/flagplus. 

Greatness isn’t Highlander

Sports fans are weird.  Rather than appreciating greatness the entire world takes every issue whether it’s politics, favorite quarterbacks, GOATS, BBQ sauces and so on and minimizes all of the accomplishment, and artistry into a version of Lebron v. Jordan.  Here’s the thing…nothing matters less than the Greatest of All time.  When you’re talking about that great it doesn’t matter. On Calling the Audible we often talk about S-Tier rather than the best or so on and so forth. The reason being that when someone is great we’re splitting hairs when we’re trying to rank them and all of it is subjective anyway.  

We recently saw the retirement of  Brady and the all-time scoring title changing hands from Kareem to Lebron. To prove my point about greatness, these players are all so recognizable no full names were required.  In the end the true greatness is in being able to watch and enjoy as much of this as possible. I’m a lucky guy, I got to see Magic, Lebron, Montana, Kobe, MJ, Brady etc.  Except for the many times Brady beat up on my beloved Miami Dolphins, I never rooted against greatness. Even in that one specific circumstance I was simply jealous that I don’t have what they have.

Of course in the past little while the loud minority of losers made the campaign against each of them. Brady cheated blah, blah, blah. Lebron china blah, blah, blah (posted from my iPhone that was made in China. Oh and here’s a pic of Jordan making that shot in his Jordan 12s which are the pillars by which Nike were founded). There’s no need to politicize.  You don’t need to agree with another person on their views.  There’s no need to pick sides. Enjoy greatness.  If you fall into one of these camps, remember, you’re the ones no one likes at a party and: no, it’s not everyone else, it’s you.  

Division Campers

I wanted to spend some time covering teams that have hung around FFP’s introductory division a little longer than expected. The term campers is often used in Video Game patois referring to players of high level and/or experience hiding in the shadows and “camping out” in respawn zones on the prowl for easy/unsuspecting kills.  In some cases, these teams can be on the rise and taking one last swing at the chalice hoping for dominance but often they are teams who have not yet found their identity or their path to success.  This doesn’t include teams like Baby Rays who have former CEGEP de Rimouski/Concordia University QB Olivier St-Onge at quarterback or The Habibis taking advantage of their being no re-ratings after the fall season and using Zack Stacey at QB with an introductory QB rating.  Those teams fall under the category of “I know what you did; hats off to you”. Those teams will likely not be able to return to division 6 due to their success at circumventing the cap as well as on the field.

I’m also not here to speak disparagingly about any of the teams. I’m just taking an honest look at where they are this season and providing analysis.  Division 6 is interesting from a content perspective because so little is predictable, and there is so much unknown because teams can come from anywhere. In fact, it is rarely a team that camps out in the division who walks away with a trophy; usually, it’s new talent that breaks onto the scene and make off with the  hardware. I guess rather than headlines I could have just headed each section with th team name but this keeps you guessing and guessing is nothing but the curiosity that’s satisfied by reading.

Warriors with Hazarai 

Ok so Hazarai here is a little colloquial. I don’t mean it as junk so much as “with everything”.  Maccabees are an oft used name in FPF and this group is starting to be considered as the team who’s most parked in in the division.  The green onion is circling and about to ticket you folks.  Shimmy Cons came into this season with a TD:Int ratio of 16:2.  They made the division 6D finals and took a tough loss to Killer Rays.  However, there is little doubt that this team should have moved to division 5.  However, here they are dominating teams in division 6.

Through 4 games Maccabees have a +/- of +45. Their only moderately close game was against Betway Bandits who scored late to make it a one score game.  The core of Jordy Melnik, Mikey Titleman and Justin Sternklar is about the best that there is in division 6 and I’m not even counting Jonathan Jaeggerman who’s only played a single game or Max Kadanoff who plays in pajama pants.  Macabees are a really strong team and are among the favorites to win the division.    

Seasonal Midnight Tokers

Why So Serious is a rebrand of Frank Teoli-Collatrella’s Replacement’s squad.  I’ve been critical of FTC in the past because I think he has fantastic raw skills.  However, his offense at times has poor spacing, and his processing of reads haven’t always reached a level where I thought we can begin to see sustained success.  Robert Di Ielsi has returned as the offense’s number one target but Why So Serious have introduced  a lot of returning players (Matthew Tamilia and Nikolai Streiter formerly of Orange Crush) who have taken time off and inexperienced players who are learning the game (Christopher Cohelo and Daniel Assayag).

I had my doubts coming into the season but clearly, this group has committed to the offense more than previous groups and we’re seeing that the timing and chemistry is vastly improved.  A win against an inexperienced Towers FT is expected as I would expect this group to take care of business in that setting.  However, they beat an experienced and equally moderately athletic Threat Level Midnight. This was a game that I worried a great deal about on behalf og Why So Serious but Nik Streiter’s self-tip-dive interception, was one of 5 on the day for Frankie’s Blues Clues and Teoli-Colatrella posted a 114.8 QBr (some 40 or so points above his career average) and Why So Serious seem to be a team on the rise. They have a rough +/- as the wins feel more intimate than the loses but there are a few winnable game son the horizon.  This is a group for whom I hope we can finally see that next level of improvement.

It’s Supply and Command Boys

I had a conversation with Antoine Meunier at the beginning of the season; I was shocked to hear he was throwing in division 6 once again.  I was really impressed with Trailer Park Boys out of the gate.  Defensively they were such an aggressive defense in the flats and this is one of the hardest things to teach in FPF.  Antoine Meunier seemed to have a natural feel for the quarterback position and this rag-tag group from Sunnyvale seemed to have the chemistry of an atom bomb.  However, while the nucleus has stayed together we thought we’d see some atomic level shrapnel scattered through FPF’s lower division. Instead, only weeks after I joked ”enjoy your QB of the year bro” Meunier’s experiment has been at best a science fair volcano. 

With only Frederic Meunier having double digit receptions and having taken a loss to FA squad in a low scoring affair TPB need to refocus.  I think Alexandre Blais is more than capable of stepping up as an alternative target and Antoine Meunier can use his athleticism but needs to cure his happy feet. Bro, make those feet a banana in your pocket instead.  There are a lot of athletes on this team and they should be scoring on more than 52.4% of their possessions.  It’s admirable to keep this group together. The team has shown the loyalty of a Penguin and their lover but now it’s time to make that start to pay off.  Strip the game plan down, make smart, winning plays and focus on familiarity and execution.

From Madonna to Madeline Albright

Never has a team name been so non-commensurate with the success of it’s pop culture reference as Threat Level Midnight.  TLM has long since been considered a piece of cinematic genius.  I can never close my eyes without fearing Golden Face may attack the FPF all-star game in my dreams.  Yet TLM has seen somewhat of a downward trajectory in recent seasons. Antoine Richard has had a hard time adapting to the adult league after his success with Panthers Jr. Alex Guertin remains a big ominous presence for the team but there does seem to be a lack of team speed when it comes to the more experienced players and the speedier/younger players are not yet as reliable as they need to be. Jeremy Racicot has been a red light on defense and his 4 interceptions are pacing the team but save for a win over the disjointed FA Squad. 

Completions keep drives moving. Threat Level Midnight could play a simple system with 3-4 plays and a couple of red zone options (let’s say 6 plays total). Antoine Richard has completed fewer than 50% of his passes in two of his games.  This is not a path to success. Remember that FPF is a four down game. There’s so much that goes into play calling that goes beyond lines and arrows.  If a first down play is not successful, the second down is about setting up short yardage so you have two chances at attaining a first down.  Successful first down? 2nd and short, perhaps you can take advantage of a defense creeping up to stop a short pass and hit them over top.  Game management is so important over the course of 44 minutes and 10 plays.

Chat GPT Reviews East New York

PD: Hey Chat GPT please write a review of the show “East New York” in the style of PAolo Della Rocca

“East New York” is a disappointing attempt at exploring the realities of life in one of Brooklyn’s toughest neighborhoods. While the show’s creators may have had noble intentions, the end result falls far short of the mark.

The series is plagued by stereotypical and one-dimensional depictions of urban life, relying on tired tropes and cliches that do a disservice to the complexities of the community it purports to represent. The performances from the cast are ham-fisted and lack nuance, failing to bring any real depth or emotion to the characters they are portraying.

The show’s attempts at tackling serious issues such as poverty and crime are likewise shallow and ineffective, with little effort made to offer any real insights or solutions. The writing is formulaic and uninspired, failing to bring any real creativity or originality to the table.

In conclusion, “East New York” is a missed opportunity to explore the realities of urban life in America. With its stereotypical and uninspired depictions of poverty and crime, this show fails to offer anything new or meaningful to the conversation. Unless you are a fan of cliched and formulaic dramas, this series is best avoided.

*Turns out I would have hated it as much as I thought I’d hate it.  Thanks Cyberdine, what a friendly AI model.

Wednesdays Washed Wiffleballs 

For those who have any thoughts, commentary or complaints, I am very easy to find.  I’m @peezehss on twitter, @pdellarocca and Peeze Della Reeze on facebook.  You can also take a chance by emailing me at [email protected] but I don’t check it because it’s a variety of emails trying to sell me fake Reebok The Answers, Super Bowl snack power rankings and Harry Potter commemorative wands.  I really need to use incognito mode.  Thank you Iggy for allowing me to use your column as a creative outlet this week. 

Remember that each week you can join the party on our Facebook page or at www.youtube.com/flagplus on our weekly podcast: Calling the Audible.  We are still trying to figure out when the shows will be available and how to get it live on air.  

Till next week, I want to thank you falettineme be mice elf agin!