We Goin’ Sizzler – MID SEASON REPORT CARD

Welcome back, week 5! That can only mean one thing; Mid Season Report Card! This week we look back at some upsets, the individual accolades, double headers, a look ahead to the week 6 matchups, and we take an early look at the playoff picture.

Just when you think Div 5 is taking shape and you got things figured you, it goes and turns everything upside down.

PINCELLOS get their first win of the season by defeating THE MIGHTY 6 31-12. In a game that had 7 INTs, it was PINCELLOS who held on to a 19-12 lead at halftime before getting things in check and shutting THE MIGHTY 6 out in the second half. QB VINCE ROMANO did enough for the win while going 12 for 18 with 123 YDs, 4 TDs, 3 INTs. He managed to find a long ball target in ERIC DESCHAMBAULT who had 3 catches on 3 targets for 82 YDs and 2 TDs. Defensively JOCELYN CALIXTE led the way with 2 INTs. The win comes at the right time, a winning streak can get PINCELLOS into the playoffs.

Other upsets included the RAVENS who were defeated 28-27 by BALLZ DEEP. This is their second loss in a row and it brings them to a record of (3-2-0). METAVERSE were taken by surprise 20-18 by BACKWOODS FOOTBALL CLUB and suffer their first loss bringing them to a record of (4-1-0).

The GHOSTS get back to their winning ways by defeating BUFFALO WILD WINGS 25-12. JAHMAAL ROACH found his two favorite receivers early and often in this contest. TAHNYUS STEER had 7 catches on 9 targets for 91 YDs and 2TDs. KENNY BOUTILIER had 3 catches on 7 targets for 90 YDs and 1 TD. Defensively the GHOSTS intercepted QB VINCENT GUILLETTE 4 times on their way to an easy win.

TRAILER PARK BOYS had a 4 point week as they won both games of their double header. They began the week with a 21-18 win over SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS. The game saw TRAILER PARK BOYS QB ANTOINE MEUNIER throw for 118 YDs with 3 TDs and run for 116 YDs. SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS QB SIMON CONSTANTINEAU ran for 112 YDs but only threw for 18 YDs. With no real standout performances, TRAILER PARK BOYS were lucky to come out with the win. Their performance in the second game was much better as they defeated NOT MUSTANGS 27-26.

In the other double header, LE SPEAKEASY made easy work of THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT defeating them 48-6. ADAM BATEMAN had a great game catching all 4 targets for 40 YDs, 1 TD and added a pick 6 on defense. LE SPEAKEASY‘s second game was much closer as they defeated BINES 26-19. VINCENT RICHARD was QB in this one, going 20 for 29 with 177 YDs, 4 TDs, 1 INT. LAURENT-PHILIPPE ST-ONGE had a big game catching 5 of 6 targets for 42 YDs and 3 TDs. LE SPEAKEASY get back to winning and the double header brings their record to (5-1-0).

Let’s get to the sizzle!

Jimmy Dix: DANNY MCFEE had a monster game ripping apart the REPLACEMENTS defense. He went 21 for 28 with 218 YDs and 6 TDs as TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON demolished the REPLACEMENTS 50-12. DANNY MCFEE had no trouble continuing to target his favorite receiver JOEY TAYLER for 58 YDs and 2 TDs but he also managed to hit 4 other receivers for TDs on the night.

Deacon Moss: ADAM ROSEN went and broke the stats book this week catching 9 of 12 targets for 115 YDs and 5 TDs as LONGHORNS defeated PINCELLOS 43-35. After the addition of new QB NICHOLAS DI MAULO, ADAM becomes the next new addition to the team bringing in 5 of the 6 team TDs. ADAM ROSEN is a great addition, a three time all-star, he will help LONGHORNS continue their winning streak which now stands at two.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: ANTOINE MEUNIER ran 8 times for 116 YDs. ANTOINE hasn’t really been able to use his legs to an advantage since week 1, this week he took advantage of a weaker defense to rack up the rushing yards and get the win as TRAILER PARK BOYS defeated SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS 21-18. Simply put, if ANTOINE MEUNIER is allowed to run, TRAILER PARK BOYS have a chance to win.

Trumaine: MATHIEU GASCON had 3 TKs and 2 INTs in the TRAILER PARK BOYS second game of their double header. The stat line becomes pivotal when you consider that TRAILER PARK BOYS only defeated NOT MUSTANGS 27-26. The second INT led to the team taking and holding on to the lead in this one. MATHIEU GASCON really stepped up in this one, getting his first INTs of the season.

Steve Lattimer: VALENTIN SKRYPNIK had 4 SKs, 1 INT and 1 PD as STREETS AHEAD continues to surprise us and defeats VULTURES 2.0 32-12. 4 SKs on QB ANTHONY DRYSDALE is no easy task, an added INT and PD and it is clear to see how this performance led to the victory. VALENTIN SKRYPNIK, last seen in the league in 2017, is having his best season ever and STREETS AHEAD have a two game winning streak.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: RAVENS 27-28 BALLZ DEEP

BALLZ DEEP have been battling for points recently, winning their last two games by one point. QB JUSTIN WEIR‘s ball have been nearly perfect with four consecutive games with 4 TDs and WR MATTHEW PEACOCK had 73 YDs and 2 TDs in this one, putting him over 200 YDs on the season. The RAVENS lose, have a two game losing streak, but put up a good fight in this one. QB JOEL HOULE had 237 YDs and 4 TDs in this one. I am sure the RAVENS will get back to winning soon and both these teams will be playoff bound.

The Bad: STREETS AHEAD 32-12 VULTURES 2.0

The VULTURES 2.0 are on a four game losing streak, with a roster of ANTHONY DRYSDALE, BENJAMIN MCMAHON, JAMES DRYSDALE, and KEVIN DONNET, that is simply unacceptable. This week they only managed 12 points in their defeat to STREETS AHEAD. This is the same team that is (5-0-0) in Division 4B just with a QB swap. Still BENJAMIN MCMAHON has over 200 YDs rushing in Div 4B, so I’ll say it again, just hand the ball off to MCMAHON!

The Ugly: TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON 50-12 REPLACEMENTS

The REPLACEMENTS are one of only four winless teams left in Division 5 and after last week’s performance, you have to question whether or not they will win a game this season. Allowing 50 points is never a good sign defensively, especially considering that they are so close to the defensive cap. The experienced defensive core need to get on the same page and lead this team. Offensively, things are not any better. When QB FRANK TEOLI-COLATRELLA is averaging 2.2 INTs/game, he does not make things easy for his teammates.

MID SEASON REPORT CARD

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

DILFS (0-5-0) vs THE R.E.E.T. (4-0-0)

KINGS OF THE NORTH (1-3-0) vs METAVERSE (4-1-0)

TRAILER PARK BOYS (3-3-0) vs AIR FORCE 1 (3-1-0)

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS (3-1-0) vs WARRIORS (3-1-0)

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli