8 Teams that May Surprise You and 7 That Will Struggle This Season

Peeze’s Playoffs

Preseason pt.3

By Paolo Della Rocca

The NFL playoffs begin today and many of us look to miss large portions of those games as we gear up for our first FPF games. Yet I catch myself reminiscing about my childhood in the nineties. That’s right I grew up in a decade where many of our players were not eve born yet. Perhaps it was the death of Mean Gene Okerlund and Bob “Super Dave” Einstein that got me remembering the good times.

While I only enjoyed wrestling for a short time and did own a “Mean Gene” action figure (those large wrestling toys and accompanying ring were lit. Still I was a wrestling fan for only a short period of time. Meanwhile I remember a time where I would be sitting in my grandparent’s veranda watching “Super Dave Osborne” on a 13 inch screen. Meanwhile, I took a moment to write this while watching Suer Dave highlights on youtube on my second screen. Both screens being far larger than 13 inches, my memory seems almost comical that we’ve reached a point where that technology seems so ridiculously out of date.

The comedy also did not age well. I laughed wildly at the spoof of a stuntman while my fiancé who lacked the similar reference point looked over and asked “what is this shit?”. She knew Bob Einstein from his work on Curb you Enthusiasm and had never thought he was a comical Daredevil in his past.

Still I regarded this ridiculous show with great fondness. Perhaps, it reminded me of a time when my grandparents were young and vibrant. Perhaps, it reminded me of a ore innocent time in my life where I never thought I’d be an alcohol swilling podcast host/FPF columnist. Either way we tend to remember the past fondly.

We all remember previous FPF seasons as being a bounce or a skip away from glory. Today we begin our new quest for said glory. May the bounces go your way this season. If they don’t at least you’ll have the memories to look back on fondly.

Teams that May Surprise You

These teams are teams that may do better than you expect or may come together quicker than you may think they might.

Division 6

Zone 6 Ballers: I do hope that Alessandro Barazzoni’s departure from the team means the return of Jeansley Valbonard at quarterback. He is remarkably mobile and a full season under centre will see him develop quickly. Sure there is a chance that moving up to division 6 will be a harsh challenge for Zone 6 Ballers. However, I can see the sheer athleticism can power them to more wins than you’d expect.

7th Rounders: The receiver of the Mediterranean Angelo Mourelatos returns to division 6. Much of the team is unknown to me however. A talent like Mourelatos will be difficult to manage for a lot of division 6 teams.

Dirty Landry: Teams that have fantasy football team names in flag tied to annoy me. It isn’t creative, It just means you named two things the same. It’s akin to having the same password for multiple things. So this team features two versions of Pardon My Swag with Avery Lalla returning at quarterback. The team is solid but there are. A lot of pieces that haven’t played together or haven’t played together in a while so there are some question marks. Gabriel Bardetti is a great pickup for this group and may emerge to be the star of the squad before the season is done.

Replacements: This team has been steadily improving. Frank Teoli-Colatrella is learning the quarterback position quickly and Gabriel Mallozzi is a great top receiver. If Nico Lanni can manage to play more than a couple of games this team will have a couple of dangerous threats in an. Improving receiving corps and their defence has always been solid.
Average Joes: Average Joe’s struggled down the line in the Spring time. Once they started to face some better competition they began losing games. They now play in one of the weakest divisions and have a chance to string together more wins than some may expect.

Division 6D

BDR: There are a couple of familiar names on this team. The most familiar of the group is Jordan Farray. He has 61 catches in the last two seasons he’s played combined. Matthew Augustine and Vince Romano combine to complete a trio of players who may be the better portion of a team that is formerly known as Sons of Mitches. This team my just have enough to upset some teams.

The Real Bros of Simi Valley: Ryan Shapiro was the starting quarterback for Goofy Goober and posted a 33 touchdown and 7 interception line in his first season before he was replaced by Jarryd Taylor. The QB position is the most difficult to play in FPF and Shapiro is a good one.

Chocolate Barracudas: In this section I look for quarterbacks that can turn a team’s fate and sometimes it’s a division transcendent athlete. This is the case for Lesson Pierre. Pierre’s best season was for the Money Team when he recorded ten touchdowns and 5 interceptions. A few great performances by him will have this team in winning position.

I Just Don’t See It

Sorry guys, I just don’t see a path to success for you…

Division 6

Scranton Stranglers: As an avid fan of the office I like seeing that we have a Scranton Strangler’s in division 6 as well as Michael Scott’s Tots and a Threat Level Midnight in other divisions. As for SS, Jordan Schwartz has shown the ability to score and I really like Jakob Boidman as a red zone threat. They are moving up from the developmental division and they may
Fourth & Twenty: 420 Blazin’ return and while the team has gotten better in past seasons, Div 6 looks tougher than ever. Vince Menniti will need to ensure that he limits his mistakes. That said, I still think they will struggle to score even agains average opponents.
Average Joe’s: Last season, in the developmental division Average Joe’s beat all the teams that were of lower caliber but then lost games
Fat Diablos: This team would better be served with Francois Martin realizing his real talent and staying of the field. His real talent is doing poor research for his division 4 article and he looks like he may be a decent bowler. As long as he is on the team their play will be incompetent and they aren’t worth a watch.
Vick in a Box: Things we won’t be seeing this season Styles Trudeau throws the ball on a rope 10 feet in the air; Max Burah jumps over 3 fools and makes a catch. Without those two Vick in a Box are mortal. Craig Browning is a very good two way player and Matt Barsetti takes over at the pivot. Barsetti is a former water polo player and has an absolute chooch. Let’s hope he can use the arm strength to help him get by while he learns the position.

Division 6D

Potatoes: The Potatoes failed to make the playoffs in division 6 last winter. They’ve since been relegated but I think their problems may run a touch deeper and will make it difficult to compete despite the relegation. Last time around JJ Cosentini was their only real threa. They’ve also lost Mike Sanchez and Pietro Mignacca to NWO. I worry about the losses and a general lack of depth.
Brewers: This one hurts. I really hope I’m wrong. Their defensive communication needs work and Jefferey Lefebvre is improving at the quarterback position but he will need to improve his repitorie of plays. The Brewers are likely a season away from being a season away from being relevant.

Saturday’s Sweating Sermon

Yes, sure, I totally got it wrong and completely disrespected your team. My analysis was based purely on bias and not what I think of your team’s chance at success. So tell me what’s up by reaching me @PeezeFPF on twitter, @Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook or by emailing me at [email protected].

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF Division 6/6D podcast Calling the Audible where Moe Khan, Simon Dagenais discuss things that will never happen, how emotional photograpy, the most non descriptor cake flavours and as many as 14 surprises involving sea life. Stay tuned for information about when and where you can watch it.

Have a great and safe first week of action. See you at the fields!