The Loneliness of Playoff Losses, Jon Brown’s Tinder Account and Terry Tam’s Intimate Shortcomings

Peeze’s Playbook

Quarter Finals

By Paolo Della Rocca

Playing quarterback, even as poorly as I do, is a fairly rewarding experience. It is also stressful as each time you step into the huddle you have 5 faces staring at you where they know that you are mostly responsible for their success and failure. You are responsible for guessing what you think the defence is about to do, making a play call that will attack that defence, communicating the routes, spacing and timing to your receivers, catching the snap reading the field and delivering a catchable ball to the right receiver. If you don’t think it is all that hard, I invite you to try.

Still, the most harrowing and lonely feeling occurred when my division 6 team lost this past week. It is the second season in a row where the game ends where I had a chance to win the game in the opposing team’s redzone. Last season, we failed a convert that would move us into the second round. This current season saw my drive end when we could not score with one attempt from the 5 yard line. Teammates are supportive and wonderful creatures. They remind you that you were the underdog and if the following things would have happened how you would have won that game easily. They talk about their drops and miscommunications. In my case, they remind me that the FPF algorithm had me pegged as the worst QB in FPF history and that making the playoffs and advancing in the first place is an improvement over the previous year. Still they don’t know how it feels.

Quarterbacks who have experienced that this week, I feel for you. I am now one of your brethren and the defeats definitely stick with you long after the sweet taste of victory has been embittered by defeat. A new class of quarterbacks, half of those who march into action this week will join us. I hope you enjoy the feel-good while it lasts because the moment it’s gone that’s all that you will remember about your season. Best of luck to all!

Recaps

I, unlike most of our columnists like recapping games. It’s harder work than just making up what you think will happen. I call this act Dagenaising. However, with about a million games to recap (don’t spun them, there are a million) I went with a point form format to touch on all the games. Here’s what happened last week:

Straight Outta Breath 24- Globo Gym Purple Cobras 23

Yup, this game felt the way the rest of the season did for GGPC. They were ok, but not good enough.
Straight Outta Breath won after being dominated 15-8 in the first half. They outscored the Purple Cobras 2-1 in overtime.
Straight Outta Breath’s Surya Chandel kept Eric Maiorino honest with 2 sacks in this game.

TOPSZN 51-Les Affreux 44

Khalil Kerr looked great for TOPSZN in this game. He threw for 7 touchdowns and ran for another. I was really impressed with his redone throws. His ability to attack the back of the end zone is impressive.
Jonathan Lemieux tried to match blow for blow and I didn’t think this would be an effective strategy for Les Affreux. It proved not to be as Lemieux was intercepted by Stefano Spagnuolo twice.
Les Affreux’s Dany Ostiguy scored 5 touchdowns but he was overshadowed by Zachary Dryden’s 6 touchdown’s for TOPSZN.

Frosty Bronsons 27- Les Verges Aeriennes 6

Frosty Bronsons were lucky to face a backup quarterback as Chris Rivest was not in attendance. Marc-Antoine Pereda struggled in his absence only completing 9 passes on 28 attempts.
Harenssan Kandiah and Alex Holowach were the recipients of 2 touchdowns a piece delivered by James Nowakowski while Terry Tam’s 1 catch for 4 yards was an outing that matched his last performance in the bedroom where he was also short and quick.

Backyard Bruisers 37- Kiwi Island 25

Kiwi Island only had 6 players who qualified for the playoffs. One player who was absent is Joey Fiorillo who famously was suspended for the remainder of the playoffs.
Kiwi Island made it a fight and Anthony Lazzara caught 3 touchdowns to Dan “Tacos” Lazzara ’s 1. In the end AJ Gomes would have been better suited to playing receiver to QB in this game. However, in the absence of options, he filled in admirably but was intercepted by Rich Humes, Cameron Maag, and Brennan Burke
Backyard Bruisersare one of the most talented low seeds in the Division D playoffs.
All Derrick Fontana does is catch touchdowns as he caught 2 passes for 60 yards and 2 touchdowns.

KGP RA 39- Go Ghetters 6

A game of Dy(i)lan’s. Dylan Garber threw 5 touchdowns while Dilan Daoust threw only 1 completion in 17 attempts.
Jonathan Garfinkle had a great game having intercepted a pass and returned it for a touchdown and scored three times on offence for K-G-P-R-A.

Green Lantern Corps 37-Get Off my D 19

Green Lantern Corps continue to be one of the hottest teams in division D. They unseated get off my D with a great two way performance.
Mendy Cardichon, Franck Ngandui and Alex Andrescu each caught two of Hai Minh Luong’s 6 touchdown passes.
Ryan Tereskewitz and David Miron combined for 11 catches 112 yards and two touchdowns in a losing effort.

Diablos 38- Dreamville 6

It is my opinion that the Diablos look a lot better with Marc-Andre Lapointe in the lineup and he caught 2 touchdowns and intercepted a pass from Dreamville’s Andrew Langburt.
Gabriel Wiseman intercepted two passes as well and he scored on one such interception.
This was a long game for Dreamville who didn’t score until the second half of the game when Avery Assyag scored.

Division D-2

Lobster Dinner 30- All Hooks 18

All Hooks are a talented team who were inconsistent all season. Lobster Dinner seems like a team with limited potential but they have improved throughout the season. This was a game that looked just like that.
Simon Duchesne and Brian Eudoxie are the more explosive receivers on Lobster Dinner and combined for 101 of Jon Brown’s 166 yards passing.
All Hooks were exposed in the second half where they were outscored 24-6. Despite the collapse, Jean-Christophe Ferland caught 4 passes for 46 yards and a touchdown.

Trinity 37- Still Preaching 12

Pat Lindor didn’t look great at the pivot having thrown a single touchdown and 2 interceptions. Alex Labonte didn’t fare much better with a touchdown toss and three interceptions.
Vincent Marquis was welcomed back in open arms as he intercepted a pass and scored a touchdown on 3 catches.
Trinity player Alexandre Jubinville expressed interest in his team moving t division 3 after the season. If the start of these playoffs are any indicator, they are ready.

Ravens 21-Smoking on that Lalla 18

Alex David seemed to grind the game down to a halt. The absence of Mathieu House is already starting to hurt the ravens despite the win.
Jordan Murphy had a great game: 7 catches, 110 yards and 1 touchdown in a losing effort. In the end Lalla and company were unable to punch the ball in despite accumulating 201 yards of offense.
Marc-Antoine Vallee had a great rushing effort for the Ravens, making it uncomfortable for Avery Lalla algae long.

ETC 16- Warriors 6

It looks like with the injury to Juwan Edghill, ETC will be going with Owen Bujarsky over Benjamin MacMahon at quarterback. The decision seems to have paid off after the first round.
The Warriors were without star starting quarterback Michael Solimene. Stefano Solimene subbed but the only similarity was the name on the jersey. Stefano Solimene only threw for one touchdown.
ETC got scores from Anthony Drysdale and Philip Roberts Jr.. A second half safety helped pad the score as well.

Vikings 33- Buffalo Wild Wings 24

As the media member who supported them the most this season, I am disappointed that Moe Khan was the pundit who was rewarded with chicken wings.
Nicholas Gendron Vallée looks aloof at times but in the huddle he looks to be in total control at all times.People are starting to remember why Philipe Kotrbaty was as dominant as he has been in his FPF career.
Jean PHillipe Huard had 5 interceptions on the season and he showed why he was so effective in this game intercepting Marc-Alexandre Piette in this game.

Montagnards 39- Pandas 31

This game had the potential to be a trap game for Les Montagnards and it finished closer than expected.
Frederic Viens could not be stopped as you would expect from a Div 1/2 caliber receiver.
Alexandre Bachaalani did what he could to keep Pandas in the game as the once thought to be Brazilian receiver caught 8 passes for 81 yards and a touchdown.

Big Fun Party Mix 8 27- Norfolk in Chance 26

The Party is raging and they are trying to silence my claims of fraudulence.
I hate when we talk about “the importance of converts” as it is obvious and cliched but in this case proved to be true.
Norfolk in Chance had a great run this season and Rocc Christiano had a great season. This playoff game will only help him better understand how to manage playoff football in FPF.
Zackary Alberts-Gill 4 sacks, 2 touchdowns. We now spell his name: S-T-U-D.

Roadrunners 29- Goofy Goobers 19

I hate a season that ends this way for a team that changed QB halfway through the season. Goofy Goobers must be thinking to themselves, would we be one and done with Styles Trudeau like we were with Jack Zergiotis. An alternate universe version of the Goobers my know.
Max Burgh and Jack Zergiotis intercepted Roadrunners quarterback Mathew Yanakoulis 3 times combined and yet they could net get the scores they needed against one of the most maligned defences during the regular season.
Justin Lerner was not the big name in this game as Nick Rompotinos scored twice while Greg Kritselas and Emanuel Sarikakis each scored a touchdown.

Gaaaaaaaaaames of the Week (Chapman says it better than Eagle)

Division D-1

Frosty Bronsons (4) vs. Badgers (6)

Previous Result: Frosty Bronsons 14- Badgers 13

Analysis: The Badgers didn’t get to play this past week as their game resulted in a 30-0 forfeit win. This hurts the Badgers who are a good team that are led by Josh Feder who is not a natural quarterback. I’ve heard rumours that brother Sammy Feder will not be at this game and that will not Josh Feder in the huddle or without one of his favourite targets (second for receptions on the team with 38). While AJ Rashkovan will obviously get the lion’s share of the work in this game, I expect Joseph Kano to get dirty and help the chains move. Just as the Badgers will likely suffer from having had the week off, expect the Bronsons to look good as they seem to get stronger after every performance (not that this can be said of the now marital intimate life of Terry Tam. His beautiful wife is usually begging for a bye week). James Nowakowski will need to be in rhythm and last week’s performance will likely lead to future success in the second round of the playoffs. The Badgers give a lot of room underneath in zone. It will be up to Nowakowski to find the holes and exploit them. While we can expect scoring from Alex Holowach I think we will see meaningful contributions from Kevin St-Pierre in the passing game.

Prediction: Frosty Bronsons 31- Badgers 12

KGP RA (1) vs. Backyard Bruisers (8)

Previous Result: KGP RA 20- Backyard Bruisers 19

The Bruisers are playing with house money at this point. The season did not go the way they wanted at all yet they made the playoffs. They then got to upset Kiwi Island and move into the second round of the playoffs. This seemed like all but a pipe dream by week 7 of the regular season. The change to Brennan Burke has worked and it adds another level of complexity to this game. The last time these two teams faced it was with Chris Pendenza at quarterback. As Brennan’s offensive skill set is somewhat different all that KGP RA can take from the last matchup is that they were almost beat. This is bound to have an impact on the psychological aspect of the game. Dylan Garber connected with Ryan Garber for all three touchdowns in the previous matchup. This was largely due to all the extra attention being paid to Phil Cutler and Jonathan Garfinkle. I think in this matchup Cutler will be the one to break free and Jonathan Garfinkle will make a play on defence that may turn the tide in this game. However, I do think that this sets up to be a perfect trap game. Expect the Bruisers to jump out to an early lead and for Brennan Burke to manage the second half and take the ball out of DG10’s hands. Rich Humes will likely be bracketed in this game so I expect Derrick Fontana to break this game open for the Bruisers.

Prediction: Backyard Bruisers 24- KGP RA 19

Diablos (2) vs. Green Lantern Corps (7)

Previous Result: Green Lantern Corps 20-Diablos 19

The last tie these teams faced was in week 9 and GLC used that game to make a statement about their season. They have not looked back since. Hai Minh Luong is learning how to use this offence and the duo of Franck Ngandui and Mendy Cardichon are difficult to deal with. If Mark Andre Lapointe is present then he will call a defence that will be difficult for Hai Minh Luong to get a read on. However, I do think that the Diablos will struggle in this game early and Francoi Martin will need to put the ball up deep and often. I would not be surprised to see an early interception and then a late game mistake that will cost the Diablos the game. Alexis Gaumont is a big receiver who can use his body to get separation against quicker defenders. Still I think this game does not set up well for the Red Devils. On a side note, my halloween costume in grade 6 was a Devil. That was not related but interesting to potential biographers and costume enthusiasts.

Prediction: Green Lantern Corps 34- Diablos 26

Straight Outta Breath (3) vs. TOPSZN (4)

Previous Result: Straight Outta Breath 32- TOPSZN 20

Analysis: If SOB have any self awareness they know they got lucky last time they faced TOPSZN. Khalil Kerr was late for the last game and TOPSZN started Vince Pisano in his stead. When Kerr arrived he only threw four incomplete passes and the TOPSZN offence looked to be relatively on track. Straight Outta Breath have some good athletes. Shaq Lattimore, Kyle McGuigan and Mickey Marine come to mind. However, this is largely negated by an athletic defence that features the aforementioned Kerr, Mathew Canuel and Andel Thomas-Gordon. SOB quarterback Max Marini will need to scheme players open and often progress into his second and third read. I don’t think this is where excels. I do not expect a repeat performance from their earlier season matchup.

Prediction: TOPSZN 37- Straight Outta Breath 13

Division D-2

Vikings (3) vs. Lobster Dinner (5)

Previous Result: Vikings 27-Lobster Dinner 26

Analysis; This may be the best matchup on the docket in all divisions. It is a little low key because a lot of the stars are not necessarily as well known as other or are playing out of position. Nicholas Gendron Valle is flexing his raw ability and knowledge of the game at quarterback for the Vikings is an interesting juxtaposition when compared to the receiving ability of Simon Ducesne of Lobster Dinner who is a typical QB in FPF. I mentioned earlier in this article that Philippe Kotrabaty is a dominant receiver and Jon Brown while not the sexiest FPF quarterback (speaking of his ability more than his popularity on Tinder), is one of the most effective. I expect every part of this game to be as close as the prequel. However, when teams are closely matched give me the team that lost the first time around.

Prediction: Lobster Dinner 20-Vikings 19

Ravens (1) vs. Big Fun Party Mix 8 (5)

Previous Result: Big Fun Party Mix 8 32- Ravens 25

Analysis: Ravens are ripe for the taking. Adam Parasucco is the only receiver on the team who has not been dinged up all season. He has developed a great rapport with Alex David and David has used him well on crossing patterns and in space. However, Alex David needs size to help compensate for some innacuracy and timing that comes with inexperience at the position. Anthony Addona provides some of that but he still doesn’t look to be 100%. Danio Addona will likely provide the redone presence that was somewhat lost in the absence of Mathieu “Flag Jesus” Houle. The last time they faced off against each other Danio Addona caught 4 touchdowns. However, I expect BFPM8 to adjust and try to take him away in this game. While I think that the Ravens are vulnerable, I have thought the same about Big Fun Party Mix 8 all season. Zackary Alberts Gill will need to apply pressure on Alex David who is more mobile than you’d expect from the man under the mullet. Evan Ely Nolet will have to play mistake free against this active defense. The Ravens are a team full of schemers and as such, Nolet can’t just resort to (what worked last time). Rico Tulino will still likely be the man to watch.

Prediction: Ravens 25- Big Fun Party Mix 8 21

Trinity (2) vs. ETC (8)

Previous Result: Trinity 50-ETC 18

Analysis: ETC has handled Juwan Edghill’s injury better than most team would have. They’re defence has looked better and they have truly come together as a team. Before we anoint them giant-killers let’s remember that the Warriors were without their starting quarterback. They will not have that luxury against Trinity. ETC’s Owen Bujarsky will struggle to complete half of his passes and will likely need to due so with production from his secondary weapons. Anthony Drysdale will need to move the chains but look for Zack Kik to play a role in the rezone for ETC. Trinity look to be mostly, at full strength in the playoffs. This isn’t something they could have said through most of the season. JF Marquis will have Vincent Marquis and Alexis Bessette at his disposal. This is a great combination of size and speed that Trinity has lacked at ties and won in spite of. Benjamin Danserault Leclerc isn’t a player who always puts up stats but he is one to watch anytime he is on the field. Unfortunately for ETC I don’t think this one will even be as “close” as the last game.

Prediction: Trinity 44-ETC 6

Les Montagnards (2) vs. Roadrunners (3)

Previous Result: Les Montagnards 32- Roadrunners 32

Analysis: Les Montagnards definitely are familiar with Justin Lerner at this point. He torched them for 3 touchdowns in the last meeting. This time around Fred Viens will be there and I expect him to lock down Lerner. On the other side of the ball, Fred Viens will likely still be able to get free despite Justin Lerner’s best efforts and should that prove to be an issue, expect Marc Antoine Viens to provide offensive consistency for Julien Fiset Cyr. Roadrunners Daron Migdesyan will do well to make sure he marks MAV across the field. Still, despite Migdesyan’s ability as a defender, it’s a tall order to ask a man to shut down a wild and crazed wrecking ball hammering his way through the defense. I was happy to see that Mathew Yanakoulias was able to connect with his other targets in the last game. However, I expect that the Roadrunners, while they will be able to keep pace will not be able to sufficiently prevent Roadrunners from scoring at will.

Prediction: Les Montagnards 44- Roadrunners 34

Sunday’s Sassy Skeletons

With the first round of the playoffs in the record books we are set to begin the second round are a round closer to the FPF Final! Let me know what you think of my weekly column and all of our media production by reaching out to me @PeezeFPF on Twitter or by messaging me @ Peeze Della Reeze on Facebook. I’ll also be on the sidelines this evening @Stade de Montreal so come by for a chat where I will do my best to conceal the fact that I’ve been drinking for most of the day.

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF Division D podcast “Calling the Audible,” where Moe Khan and Alex Holowach will discuss men in vans, why the Just for Laughs creature is creepy and why being a Connor MacGregor look a like will not age well. Tune in to www.youtube.com/flagplus on Thursday nights at 7:30 p.m. or download the podcast on iTunes or Podomatic!