The Goal Line Stand (Div 5) – Week 1
10-01-2012 12:00 AM
Avec la nouvelle expansion d’une ligue vient plusieurs nouvelles opportunités toujours aussi excitantes les unes que les autres. En division 5, trente-deux équipes, tous avec l’envie de faire les séries et la croyance que leur équipe est la meilleure pour s’y rendre. Un simple coup d’oeil démontre la panoplie d’anciennes équipes qui tenteront de miser sur leur expérience, tout au long
de la saison, pour y accéder.
This includes: Pendant Publishing who are a perennial fan-favorite and have a knack for steady development; the Mustangs du Gridiron who come into this season with a vengeance, ready and able to improve on last season; the Flying Comics – who are so good at making fans laugh – made fans cry last season when they finished with a record of just under .500; impressive Thunder who had a strong outing last time around and will only be better; Les Affreux whose playing ability is only outshone by their character; and Checkmate (formerly Punch Panda) who are hoping that a rose by any other name will smell completely differently.
Equally as exciting are the newcomers. Teams and fans alike should expect a mixed bag of nuts in these cases – glorious cashews, mediocre peanuts, and shameful pistachios. The learning curve for these teams is steep, as they are pressed into action immediately against the division’s best. We’ve already seen the offensive skill the Coyotes possess, but we’ve also witnessed Green Lantern Corps stumble out of the blocks. But as we know, football is played week by week. Do not get too high (except before Spanish class) or too low.
Welcome to my weekly article about FPF’s 5th and best-dressed division. Here, I take the opportunity to be mildly hard-hitting, selectively entertaining, and newly bilingual with the help of Division 4’s Simon Dagenais of the Dragons, whose translating abilities rival those of Google. I’ve played unexceptionally for five consecutive seasons with Lockdown and have recently found a home writing articles. It is my wish that you find a reason to come back to these pages every week and that your Winter 2012 season is equally rewarding. Let’s play ball.
Weekly Recap
Comics Fly Passed Mustangs
Les Mustangs du Gridiron s’inclinent devant les Flying Comics menés par Frank Grenier et Sebastien Ravary. Ensemble, ils obtiennent 9 des 24 complétions de Grenier pour un total de 84 verges et 2 touchés. Le match s’est joué sur les convertis; une des force des Flying Comics. L’écart de 5 points entre les deux équipes fut, uniquement causée par ces convertis. Malgré leur défaite respectable, le quart-arrière des Mustangs, Simon Vallée, jouant à la Tim Tebow, a complété deux touchés par la passe et deux autres par la course; un effort remarquable. La rumeur cour qu’autant qu’on souhaite de chance à Vallée, on espère que ses penchants religieux seront utilisés pour la charité et aux cliniques d’avortement plutôt que sur le terrain dans les semaines à venir.
Publishing First Win
Now that Pendant Publishing is officially 1-0, fans have begun to line up in gift shops around the island to purchase jerseys with their beloved #60 Takefman, #24 Aronovitch, and now perhaps a new addition to the shopping bag – a #3 Tsalikis. Mean Machine seemed to sputter in red-zone situations, and Pendant Publishing was equally staunch in their own end. Defense was the difference in this game and Pendant’s one extra INT turned out to be the eventual unplugging of the Mean Machine. Francois Ethier, who most will recognize as the QB of last season’s high-octane A-squad, had a QB rating in this game a full 7.8 points lower than his average from last season. Taking that into account, this may be a blip on the radar for Mean Machine, and I still expect a lot from them. Pendant Publishing’s addition of Maurice Menassa who has played in divisions 2, A, and 3 respectively along with the insertion of Simon Tsalikis who has proven a useful teammate in the Winter of 2009 with the G-Men, and a household name winning the first QB of the Year award way back in 2005, as well as this past Sunday night, shows a commitment on the part of Pendant Publishing management to win. Both teams face relative unknowns in week 2.
It’s Your Move
Checkmate recorded their first win as a group in week 1 in their history – a modest 11 games. Led by the hard-throwing and elusive Anthony Carbone, the team scored 40 points while winning both halves and routing the second half 14-0. Consider this to be the Carbone brother’s official march on the league as a duo, hooking up for 9 receptions, 118 yards, and 2 TDs. Look out, Beauséjour’s. Michael Carbone, whose skyscraper-like height makes him readily distinguishable from his brother, pulled down 2 INTs and David Della Rocca plucked one more to quash the Dodger’s last drive. It may be too early to judge, but it appears as though the addition of league veteran Alex David (the man so nice they named him twice) will serve this team well. The win comes at the expense of a team who few should take lightly. With the likes of Tony Testa (who has had Division A experience) and Erminio Iadeluca guiding the ship, don’t look for a repeat any time soon.
Interviews
In this segment, I drag my camera crew around to the various FPF venues and ask Division 5 players the questions others don’t have the guts to ask. Also, things that are irrelevant.
This week, Paul Kamel of the Division 2 G-Men has some tips for succeeding in FPF, I interview Bruce Takefman of Pendant Publishing (the runaway favorite for Mr. Congeniality this season, in my opinion), and Herve Louis gives us a sneak peak at Mean Machine.
By the Numbers
Because I’ve been cursed with a roommate whose computer skills are unreasonably slick, combined with a girlfriend he does his best to avoid, The Goal Line Stand is able to bring you this segment dedicated to stats not otherwise available to other Divisions. Here, you’ll be able to find things as useful as a team’s extra-point efficiency, or as inappropriate as their shoe sizes represented using flow-charts.
This week’s By the Numbers is dedicated to comparing firsts. If you’re like me, you’ve compared first everythings. From first kisses to first divorces, firsts are a romanticized way of contrasting such monumental events to see which was more rewarding. Here’s a comparison of QBs in Winter 2011’s opening week with that of Winter 2012’s.
We not only saw an increase in average QB rating, but in completion percentage as well. Moreover, interceptions and sacks were both down.
Stat
Average QB Rating
Winter 2011 (20 teams) – 71.31
Winter 2012 (32 teams) – 75.11
Difference +3.8
Average Completion %
Winter 2011 – 48.20%
Winter 2012 – 48.78%
Difference +0.58%
Average Points Scored
Winter 2011 – 23.05
Winter 2012 – 19.53
Difference -3.52
Average Yards Per Rush
Winter 2011 – 10.03
Winter 2012 – 8.53
Difference -1.5
Average Interceptions
Winter 2011 – 2
Winter 2012 – 1.4
Difference -0.6
Average Sacks
Winter 2011 – 0.9
Winter 2012 – 0.6
Difference -0.3
This table shows the effect of expansion on Division 5, factoring in only the 12 additional teams. Here, we notice an even greater spike in added value to basic QB categories.
Stat
Winter 2011 (20 teams)
Additional Value *
Adjusted Difference**
Average QB Rating
71.31
81.44
+10.13
Average Completion %
48.20%
49.75%
+1.55%
Average Points Scored
23.05
13.66
-9.39
Average Yards Per Rush
10.03
6.03
-4.00
Average Interceptions
2
0.40
-1.60
Average Sacks
0.9
0.10
-0.80
* Additional Value assumes the 20 teams from 2011 are identical to the top 20 teams in 2012 and shows the value added per team by the 12 additional teams
** Adjusted Difference shows the difference between the Additional Value and 2011 teams
Power Rankings
The Power Rankings are an arbitrary and subjective non-exhaustive list of the Division’s top 15 teams which I’ll change weekly on as much as a whim. Teams will, no doubt, tussle endlessly for the honor of being part of list historically on par with Schindler’s. Next week’s Goal Line Stand will feature Winter 2012’s first Power Rankings.
Predictions
Last season I went 40-14-2 predicting Division D regular season games. Not bad if I were content with mediocrity. Lucky for you, I’m not. Look for my predictions to start, like the Power Rankings, next week when more information becomes available.
Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any lost assets as a result of gambling on FPF Division 5 games. Alternatively, be generous with my yearly tip if I help you out. Seriously, we’re big in Vegas.
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With one week over, some teams have taken the first step toward a successful season, while others are already back at the proverbial drawing-board. But if I know anything about Division 5, and I certainly pretend to, then trust me when I say that parity reigns supreme. Keep moving forwards and have fun.
Don’t forget to e-mail me at [email protected]. This is where you can let me know if I’ve misspelled your name, gotten a stat wrong, or unknowingly insulted your nut preference. I check them daily and promise to ignore any and all other commitments in order to provide you with prompt responses. Check in next week for an expanded version of The Goal Line Stand and don’t forget to tune into the WEPL, where I’ll be alternating with G.M. Kolethras – a worthy foe – to discuss the broad strokes of Divisions 4 and 5.
Until then, play hard, play safe, and may your balls land where you have intended.