2nd-and-Short (Div D) – Week 8
08-07-2014 12:00 AM
Don’t look now, but Week 9 is already just hours away from kicking off. It’s funny how this point of every FPF season feels the same—like it has completely flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was suiting up for my Week 1 game.
Ah, now you’re looking back on your season too. Some of you are doing so with a big grin on your faces, happy the season has gone exactly as expected as you prepare for your game this week knowing you’ve already clinched a trip to the postseason.
The rest of you are likely looking back and wondering what you could’ve done differently to have avoided being on the bubble or eliminated altogether with two weeks to go in the regular season.
But a few teams aside, hope is not yet lost. For those of you still fighting for a playoff spot, you might not be able to go back and change how you got here. But you most certainly can help determine where you end up.
Recap
Cow > Lion
“Lion tastes good. Let’s go get some more lion,” Longhorns QB Jon Moodie declared triumphantly after defeating Les Rois Lions 26-24 on Sunday night.
Okay, fine, he may not have said anything close to that at all and I just didn’t want to pass up the chance to tie The Other Guys into one of my articles.
Regardless, the point remains: much like I would never expect a school of tuna fish to take down a Lion, I didn’t think Longhorns had it in them to beat Les Rois Lions. I was wrong.
In a game that went down to the wire, it was Longhorns, down 24-19 that marched downfield with time winding down before Moodie hit receiver Dave Allen on a two-yard hook in the endzone on the game’s last play to win it.
In doing so, Longhorns essentially shut the light on Les Rois Lions’ season, who now are a huge longshot to make the playoffs. But more importantly, it gave Longhorns new life on the season as they now are on the inside track to make the postseason themselves.
Happy Birds
Angry Birds may not be making the playoffs this season, but you’ll never be able to take away from them the fact they beat the undefeated Monstars (with five players, no less) a week before taking down the essentially the same Affreux team that made it to the Spring semifinals last year.
After a largely defensive game, Angry Birds found themselves down into the redzone with six plays left and up 13-12. Affreux made the interesting decision to let Angry Birds score, extending their opponents’ lead but giving themselves five plays to answer right back for the win.
But the FPF gods had other plans, as with just two plays left QB Mat Domon’s pass from midfield would be intercepted by defender Jérémie Gauthier—his fourth of the night—putting the game to bed by a final score of 19-12—and Les Affreux’s playoff hopes in limbo along with it.
There’s Grip n Rip, and then there’s everybody else
As if we needed more proof that Grip n Rip could be competing in Div C as early as yesterday, right?
But that’s exactly what Vinny Gualano and company showed us in their absolute dismantling of T.C.O. on Sunday night in a game that was over by halftime.
Offensively, there was little Gualano couldn’t do, deking out rusher Andrew Ledoux time and time again to give him those extra seconds he needed to find his receivers downfield for big gains. Defensively, there was little T.C.O. QB Doug McKernan could do, sacked four times on the night by rusher Mike Zenobi and gaining just 12 yards on the ground while being held to two touchdowns on the night.
By game’s end, the scoreboard read 31-13 in Grip n Rip’s favour. If there was any doubt Grip n Rip were Division D’s top team, those are surely erased—at least, they are until they take the field against Monstars this week.
Top 10
1. Grip n Rip (7-1): A no-brainer, really.
2. Primetime (7-1): Primetime didn’t only win on the scoresheet when they defeated Tomahawk Nightmare by forfeit last week. They also won on the field when they showed they can compete with Division 2 talent.
3. Monstars (7-1): Any team that helps Peeze lose something is a winner in my book.
4. Recipe 4 Disaster (6-1-1): Four interceptions, two returned for touchdowns a week after pitching a shutout. This team is setting up to be a playoff nightmare for anyone.
5. Lobster Dinner (7-1): One opponent with a winning record, one 19-point loss. Time to find out whether that’s a fluke or a true reflection of Lobster Dinner’s ability.
6. Ball Busters: (5-1-2): Another week, another game where the Hai Minh Luong to Dylan Taylor connection is absolute money.
7. T.C.O. (6-2): I’m still on the bandwagon…just a bit closer to the back of it.
8. Show Me Your TDs (5-2-1): They got lucky last week and they know it. But are they more lucky than good? I certainly don’t think so.
9. Tomahawk Nightmare (5-3): The only thing I’m wondering about Tomahawk right now is how a former Division 5/E team knows so many top division players.
10. The BrotherHood (4-2-1): Losing on the last play without your starting QB is a lot better than most teams in that situation.
Playoff Picture
These standings are unofficial. I did them myself, so errors are entirely possible. Seriously, I do math worse than Simon Dagenais plays QB.
An asterisk indicates a team has clinched a playoff berth; teams in bold are currently holding a playoff spot; teams in italics are eliminated from playoff contention.
Also, a reminder that the top three seeds in each conference go to the subdivision winners and that the tie-breaker criteria are wins, head-to-head, divisional record and points against.
Conference A:
1. Lobster Dinner* (7-1, 14 pts, 1-1, 146)
2. T.C.O. (6-2, 12 pts, 2-0, 182)
3. Tomahawk Nightmare (5-3, 10 pts, 2-0, 199)
4. Recipe 4 Disaster* (6-1-1, 13 pts, 2-0, 144)
5. Backyard Bullies (5-3, 10 pts, 2-1, 224)
6. Les Blues Branleurs (5-3, 10 pts, 1-1, 179)
7. Los Banditos (4-3-1, 9 pts, 1-1, 175)
8. Longhorns (4-4, 8 pts, 2-1, 236)
9. Les Affreux (4-4, 8 pts, 1-2, 179)
10. Fun Boys (4-4, 8 pts, 1-2, 195)
11. Tune Squad (2-5-1, 5 pts, 1-2, 230)
12. Angry Birds (2-6, 4 pts, 1-1, 222)
13. Les Rois Lions (2-6, 4 pts, 0-2, 260) (H2H over Scared Hitless)
14. Scared Hitless (2-6, 4 pts, 1-1, 250)
15. Jagerbomb (0-8, 0 pts, 0-3, 266)
Conference B:
1. Monstars* (7-1, 14 pts, 3-0, 162)
2. Primetime* (7-1, 14 pts, 1-1, 98)
3. Ball Busters* (5-1-2, 12 pts, 2-0-1, 180)
4. Grip n Rip* (7-1, 14 pts, 2-0, 148)
5. Show Me Your TDs (5-2-1, 11, 2-0, 182)
6. Loose Cannons (5-3, 10 pts, 2-1, 152)
7. The BrotherHood (4-3-1, 9 pts, 0-3, 187)
8. FOTC (4-4, 8 pts, 2-1, 247)
9. Big Blue Wrecking Crew (3-4-1, 7 pts, 1-0-1, 212) (H2H over The Dirty South)
10. The Dirty South (3-4-1, 7 pts, 2-1, 211)
11. Speed Demons (2-5-1, 5 pts, 0-2, 205)
12. Pardon My Swag (2-6, 4 pts, 0-2, 179) (H2H over Trapstars)
13. Trapstars (2-6, 4 pts, 1-1, 227)
14. Tyrants (1-7, 2 pts, 0-2, 278)
15. Warriors (0-8, 0 pts, 0-2, 320)
Quick Picks
Another 7-7 week from me, another 8-6 week from Mat in another week where he loses a game I picked him to win. We now sit at 67-44 and 74-37, respectively.
At this point it’s clear to me that he has decided to throw away his FPF season in order to guarantee a win in our predictions competition. Even despite that, I haven’t given up just yet.
Recipe 4 Disaster vs. Jagerbomb
Primetime vs. Loose Cannons
Lobster Dinner vs. Les Blues Branleurs (N/A)
Les Rois Lions vs. Angry Birds
Fun Boys vs. The Dirty South
Los Banditos vs. Scared Hitless
Backyard Bullies vs. Ball Busters
Trapstars vs. Warriors
Tomahawk Nightmare vs. Tune Squad
Big Blue Wrecking Crew vs. Fools of the Country
Tyrants vs. Pardon My Swag
Show Me Your TDs vs. Speed Demons
Longhorns vs. The BrotherHood
Grip n Rip vs. Monstars
T.C.O. vs. Les Affreux
***
Time for me to clock out. As you patiently await my next article, you can shoot me an email at [email protected] or reach me on Twitter @JBlanchFPF. If you missed Monday night’s Division D podcast where I took over an absent Peeze—which automatically made the show better, much like how his Division C team (and probably Div E team) performs better without him—you can check it out at www.theunclehood.com. See you at the fields!